NewStats: 3,259,769 , 8,170,858 topics. Date: Sunday, 25 May 2025 at 11:13 PM 444s4o

WarriFirstBorn:
There is nothing wrong with being a single mother or marrying one. Different things could lead to a lady becoming a single mother. It could be she lost her husband. She got divorced. Got pregnant out of wedlock and both of them didn't end up getting married. She was raped and got pregnant. So many reasons. That someone has a child for someone and she now a single mum doesn't make her less a human than every other non single ladies. There are so many single mothers who are doing so well for themselves. They don't even need a man to compliment them, financially.

For those talking trash about how they can't marry single mothers and calling them evening newspapers, I hope they can say such of Genevieve Nnaji. She is a single mother. Can any of your single girlfriend measure up to her in any standard?

I am presently dating a single mother and I can say she is the best I have ever been with. If she doesn't tell you that she is a mother, you would never know. She has a 5 year old boy that I love so much. I and the kid are best of friends. Whenever I call her, if I haven't heard the boy's voice or speak to him, I am not done for that day.
I am older to her by 5 years. She is educated and is doing well for herself. Beautiful and well looking. I have dated other single ladies before and I can tell the difference. When we go out, people see as a family. They see the kid as mine because of the way we bond. We are already making plans on settling down together.
So, not all single mothers are a liability. Some are angels.

And for those of you condemning single mothers, you have sisters or female cousins or nieces. No one prays for evil occurrence. If God forbids your female family member lost her husband at a very early age or she got divorced. Are you saying she shouldn't remarry because she is a single mother? Or will you call her evening newspaper?

You are yet to understand women.

pansophist:
This thread really exposed the hypocrisy in women. Somehow, these women think it is okay to saddle a promising man with a single mom, but refuse to acknowledge the opinion from the male contributors, that single moms and single dads fit themselves perfectly.

Also, dismissing all the challenges that a man will experience dating a single mom with statements like, ''if they love each other'' etc, like really? How does love prevent the baby daddy from showing up and causing trouble? how does love rewire her sexual imprint to her new partner? how will love make the child accept the young man as his father? how will love prevent his innocent actions, such as scolding the child not to be interpreted as hate? How about the risk associated with rai a kid that will never love you, or see you as a father?

In a romantic context, ''Love'' is the most abused word and a go-to convenience for irresponsible people without any shred of ability in them. If we turn the table around and ask these women if they will marry a divorced single dad with kids and broke, I can bet my life that they will all flee, and even if they said yes, its virtue-signaling. They won't allow their sons, or brothers to do the same, but somehow, wants to guilt-trip young ambitious men to be with one. The only exemption that I will not be against a young man going for a single mom is if the baby dad is deceased, and even at that, he must have been a responsible man prior to ing away. Her previous partner is the evidence to judge her standards and the life choice she made, which is crucial in determining if she is worthy of a ring.

No man should save any woman. If you mess up with your life, you should bear the consequences that come with it. Special thanks to Ubunja, boss13, franchasng and other contributors for the dose of common sense.

YOUNG MEN ALSO READ THIS ELOQUENT PIECE LIKE A BIBLE. IT WILL SAVE YOU FROM MAKING STUPID DECISIONS

Votukpa:


Let me get this straight.

You walked out of your marriage because you found out your husband was a manwhore? You decided to deny your child its right to a family to be brought up in because you couldn't manage your husband?

Let me ask you these..

You made the conscious decision to marry him, did you not?
Did u not at least perceive he had manwhore tendencies before you decided to become an item with him?
I'm very sure you did. Show me a woman (or man) who is unhappily married or divorced and i'll show you someone who ignored many blatant warning signs/red flags and ignored all of them.


Please follow my logic (if you will):

It goes without saying that women who walk out of their marriage on of infidelity or got knocked up by a man whom she isn't married to are prime examples of women who are very poor decision makers and are therefore unfit to be responsible wives; or were desperate for marriage (which makes them poor decision makers yet still).

So, why should any intelligent and rational male submit himself to picking up the pieces of a woman's broken relationship that she stupidly entered into and consciously broke? Why would any man want to be with a woman who brought forth a child in a marriage but couldn't remain in it inspite of the challenges; or a woman who easily spreads her legs open for premarital raw sex without thinking through the consequences and implications?

If a woman decides to walk out of a marriage with a child or had a child out of wedlock (worse) and any man agrees to date or marry her afterwards-she will never respect that man.

Ever.

She will forever resent him for his stupidity. She may pretend to love him (she has to since he will be footing bills and giving her social proof as well as being a step dad), but on the inside, she will loathe him for tolerating to be with her-thinking, "so, this is (me) the best you can do". Every woman (including single moms) wants a man to be better than her her in every sense. Any man agreeing to be with a divorced woman communicates to her that he isn't better than her, but only willing to be a tool.

Why do you think God hates divorce?

divorce destroys marriages and homes and children.

God hates that.

Bottom line.

No single man should cut a covenant of any sort with a single mother who walked out of her own marriage or wasn't intelligent enough to judge whether her sex partner would wife her up-- for his own sanity and safety.

Marrying such women is like going into a business deal with someone whom he knows dealt business with another person, and the deal was resoundingly unsuccessful for very bad reasons. Better safe than sorry.

For all divorced single mothers out there, marry your Bible and dedicate your lives to repentance and building your child. If God sees that you're ready and mature at heart, he knows how to bring a good man to you, who will show you love.

YOUNG MEN READ THIS OVER AND OVER AND OVER. DONT MESS UP YOUR LIFE FOR STUPID FETISHES OR INSECURITIES.

darlokereke:



YOU ARE VERY WRONG IN ALL
I married a single mum. It's been 7years of our marriage ans she got 3 kids for me. It's been a journey of God faithfulness. All gender are equal. You don't judge their future except God.

Come back in 40 years time

Michellekabod2:

This is so far the only sensible post I have read!
I am of the view that if the woman is financially stable to handle the kid alone there is no problem. To me it's a plus,a woman who didn't follow the crowd to commit should be applauded for being strong! Many wombs are damaged for that, men marry ladies without wombs nowadays....
A single mom will not be involved in runs or chasing dudes as she will be bothered on catering for her kid. She becomes mature and responsible .

I'm sorry to inform you that most single mothers are struggling financially. When I say most that means 90%. Single mothers are poor because first, women take on jobs in field with lesser pay than men. Then when you include dependencies which are kids, a single mother income would fall proportionately by the amount of mouths to feed and cloth. That's why they need and seek out men for financial . They don't NEED men for LOVE. This is what young men who prefer single mothers MUST know. A single mother doesn't need you for love or sex. She primarily needs your financial resources. However, she is willingly to succumb to your fetishes to cater for her kids because she is desperate. She is willingly to pretend and act like she loves you so you can continue footing the bill and reduce her financial burden.

Chukapage:
so men who now do "abnormal" stuffs like being with a single mother are *Great men* which kind of cheap black mail and manipulation is this?

Laughs - it's a huge blackmail and deceitful agenda pursued by single mothers. They portray the LOOSERS as heroes in movies but in real life they are SUCKERS. They got played by desperate single mothers looking for a meal ticket and a figure head to play DAD.

joyfullyjoyous:
Love conquers all including status.

Love is not the recipe for a long lasting relationship. In fact, love is the initial phase that attract people together. What keeps couple together for a long time is not love.

Michellekabod2:

When ladies want to date only wealthy dudes,don't they have a choice as well? So why do guys frown at the idea of ladies looking at a man pocket not character when it is their choice?

Sure - I don't think it's wrong to aspire to be with a partner who can secure your future financially. However, single mothers should know that in the dating world, their value is discounted by the number of children they have. Also statistics have shown that single mothers largely make wrong choices, are poorer financially, desperate emotionally and stressed physically

popcykaylah:
I think boys are not men.. They aren't different from every other lady out there ..having a child isn't a disease or a crime ..

Not at all. However, motherhood have a way of changing the priorities of a woman. A mother is more concerned about her children than seeking out love or sex. On the other hand, a man is in a relationship for such purpose. Clearly, you can see that the priorities of a single mother is quite different from that of a single man without kids. The same is applicable to married men with families. Once the children comes, men become second fiddle. Tolerance here is key and because the kids are your biological children, you partake with the responsibility of raising them. However, why should a single young man exhaust his energy on issues or responsibilities that are not his

ubunja:
Michelle it's a little better if the whole excercise won't cost you money.

But the time and emotional costs still matter. I think I've made that point already somewhere.

In SA we have a TV Show called KhumbuleKhaya ( Home, loose English translation). Its about uniting long lost family . You should see how stupid and dumb step fathers become when at 18 step kids go looking for their biological fathers. It's sad

I have read some of your comments and I must it you are saying the truth. Though harshly, but you are saying the truth. Some of these guys don't know what they would be getting themselves into. The children you laboured to pay bills for would always acknowledge their biological father. It's a waste of financial resources and bad investment. However, the response you would get is that not all step children would act likewise. But would you rather wait and waste 40 years of your life to find out or avoid it completely. A sensible man would avoid that situation.

Liftedhands:
Every man will become second, third, fourth, fifth place! depending on the number of kids he father's in his woman's life once kids are involved. No wife places her husband above her children! NONE.


The only time a man remains number one is during courtship and before children starts coming
So don't deceive yourself, every man will eventually become second place after his children whether biological or adopted

You have spoken like a true experienced woman. Young men should read this comment thoroughly and digest it.

Women want men to put them as first priority but women would always place the men in their lives below other priorities. Young men see how manipulative women are. This is actually the nature of women.

Now why should a man who consider himself to be wise go ahead to elope with a single mother. You are going to be the least of her priorities and only needed for financial .

Being with a single mother is a dangerous affair. I have read some comments here and I'm surprised. Some are trying to discount the risk and suggesting not all single mothers are the same. How about completely avoiding the risk rather than telling sad tales in the future.

What I know about women is they are smarter than what we think they are. They are manipulative and controlling. A woman would devise several techniques to manipulate a man. Only married men will understand what I'm saying here. When deciding your life, don't attempt it with trial and error, you have to mitigate obvious risk and go for situations with lesser risks. Single mothers are HIGH risks situations which every young man who is aspiring to go far in life should avoid.

Start your family afresh and not lay eggs where there are already existing eggs. Leave that for FOOLS.

LaurelP:
3 options.

1. Sit her down and talk to her. Try to find out why she's acting like that. Why's she still in touch with her ex? Heart to heart talk. Give her a month, if nothing changes, go to 2.

2. Talk to her parents. Give her another month. If nothing changes, go to 3.

3. Talk to her pastor. If nothing changes...

My brother find your way.

You think a woman would genuinely tell you what’s in her mind. Shake my head

Eluwilussit:


They are very, very manipulative. Everyone of them. It’s in their DNA. I truly feel for that young man.

Yes - none is excluded even my wife, sisters and mother. That’s the nature of women. As you said, it’s part of their DNA and human composition. All men must know this for their own good and betterment else they would be aloof to the doings of women.

Men must understand the method their wives or the women in the lives utilize to manipulate them. For instance, my wife is the yelling type. At the beginning of the marriage, it was irritating and annoying. Now, I consider what she wants and if it’s for my own betterment and the overall betterment of the family, I will do it. If it’s exclusively for her, if she like break the house with yelling, I will not bulge. Once she knows my stance and she tries a different approach and find out I’m adamant, she gives up.

All men must prepare for eventualities and must at every point seek to improve their lives financially, and healthy wise. If you die tomorrow, your wife will move on and some may do some with another man. If you have conversations with women, their priorities is themselves, their kids, their family and then you (husband). This is a fact and not a joke. Many men here would always want to say my wife is different - I laugh in Chinese.

Please, I’m not condemning women or hating them. NO - we need women in our lives, without them many of us may not enjoy this life. However, I’m highlighting what makes women, WOMEN. Many young men will never get this till they get married. I didn’t and I thought I was a smart man when selecting women.

I will conclude with this - Understand the manipulative weapon of choice your woman uses only then you will begin to see things clearly and choose your actions appropriately. Overall, seek your own happiness first and do things that will keep you happy and healthy

Eluwilussit:


I believe you. I have seen this play out times without numbers. She’s up to no good, and our man is not street smart. She trusts him...hahaha. Women don’t trust any man. Unfortunately, most men trust their wives. If only we know what goes on in that their beautiful heads, we go run.

Op is in deep shit as it is. Taking her to the States will be one of his biggest regrets. Gun powder things!

True. That’s why they devise means to manipulate men. This is peculiar to ALL WOMEN. In fact western women are the worse. The young OP must consider that his happiness is of great importance. How do you relate with a wife who is unappreciative after her husband had gone laboring for 48hours so they can pay their bills and have food to eat. Many would see she is a terrible wife - NO. She is a manipulative woman, who chooses to make her husband feel less of a man so she can control him.

Some women would choose the weeping approach or the yelling approach or even the quiet approach or I will not cook or give you sex approach till she gets her bidding done.

CanadianNaija:


You can not access that money again until you reach retirement age.

True

OP - I am going to tell you something that may blow your mind. 95% of married men including myself are being manipulated by their wives. That is women for you. What you are going through is clearly the manipulation of your wife to do her biddings. However, it seems your wife is immature and chose the wrong method such as insult.

Women will adopt several manipulative methods to see which one will achieve the desired result. Many men will never agree that their wives manipulate them, but as they get older they suddenly realize some of the stupid decisions they made.

I am also afraid to inform you that your problems will not go away. Your wife’s technique of manipulation is working for her. I will also repeat what some other people have said. If you take her to the US, she will only get worse. Have you not heard the folklores of women changing after marriage?

Stand firm on your decisions. Never crave in to her manipulative ways anymore. When she sees the efficacy of insults are no longer effective, she would adopt another method. Even at this, stand firm.

A woman who cannot manipulate her man have two options - fall in line and accept her defeat or leave.

Another fake news

NwaAmaikpe:




The IG of Police is waiting for them and they are here giving press conference to sway emotions.
Kate Henshaw is there ready to bouth anyone who is not buying their flimsy claims.

As always, let it be known that I stand with Biodun Fatoyinbo on this case.

Aside his great dress sense, I have never ired Biodun Fatoyinbo.
I have always opined he was rather too vain and superficially carnal to be called by God.
What time will a man who will rather shop for fashion houses' latest releases have to read the bible?

But that's not the case here.
The case is that rape is the new noose and every lady who has had sexual relationships with him now wants a pound of flesh.
I NwaAmaikpe will never partake in media trial without a rational forensic analysis of the facts presented.

And the facts presented point there was a long term consensual sexual relationship between the parties involved.
The disted details of a supposed rape which I'd term a 'victim-builder' makes no sense.
The motive behind this could be anything in this world and the strongest being scorn.

Now this is what I think.
Busola has had an age-long obsession with Biodun,
An obsession she's taken into marriage provoking Timi feeling an intense animosity towards Biodun.

Now she has to do what she has to do to make him feel adequate by shaming the object of her fantasies.


I have been accused of being one of Biodun's minions.
The truth is, I'd rather be one than be amongst a false acc's myopic bandwagon sympathists.

So pardon me for not taking sides with Timi whose rage is apparently jelaousy-driven.
I can imagine what he feels realising that his spouse's unexplainable withdrawals and mood swings was because sex with him sucked and she could only orgasm from fantasising it was Biodun ramming her and not him.

It must surely hurt.
But if you expect me to blame Biodun for being a man most husbands will never be and for reminding them of their inadequacies, I won't.

Timi should find closure in the realization that Busola lost the key to the cookie-jar to an incredibly good-looking hunk and move on.
What of Mama Ramotu who willingly gave her virginity to Musbaliu the welder?

With that said, if Busola's story of the rape adds up to you then you need analytical help.

Enough of social media slander, enough of these press conferences that are only making their case a difficult one.
Timi and Busola shouldn't be scared but go to the police and let the course of the law begin if they truly are the victims.

HOW OLD ARE YOU??

The pastor should dissociate himself from the person advising him on this issue. He is not handling it properly.

The pastor is making a huge mistake. Let this matter slide away. Nigerians will picket his church again if the Dakolo’s experience any wrong doings

Atiku has a strong case but will he get judgement in his favour - I doubt that

So do they expect the pastor to sit on the sidelines. He has the right to fight. Though, it doesn’t matter at this point

Oga wire money no be only be strong

Jayslicky:
Democracy died in Nigeria



Time: 10:00a.m july 5, 2019
Democracy died in Nigeria



Age: 20years old



Murdered by supreme court



R.I.P to democracy.

What was the Supreme Court ruling

I think Busola needs another interview. I her saying she was devastated and after a while after being pleaded to by church elders, she leave the church for Winners. She never said she moved with them from Ilorin to Abuja or the same Pastor was the officiating pastor on her wedding day

spongeisback:
Do you know what I find weird? The so called Christians are busy trying so hard to discredit busola's rape, some say she's just a bitter ex and all that but they're not bothered that "a man of god" committed adultery. Yeah adultery! Why don't you try to prove that your pastor never had sex with busola?




WEIRDOS! Oh and BTW it's an organization that was set up to help others in similar situation.

They are Christian perverts. I’m ashamed of them. Maybe when they become a victim they may appreciate their new found stupidity

We cannot decide or think through the reaction of a rape victim. I think this is dangerously wrong. People react differently to things. There’s no single rationale way of doing things. For example, what would be your reaction when confronted with a gun to your head.

She has expressed her own truth. The onus is for Biodun to defend himself logically and objectively and not by the crass display of stupidity exemplify so far.

Whether she was infatuated or in love with Biodun has nothing to do with consent. She was a teenager and it’s expected that Biodun, an adult should know better. Furthermore, she is not the only victims. There are several women who are feeling miserable being involved with Biodun.

maryjames9:
What I can say is this

Biodun Fagoyinbo took advantage of her innocence, her naivety, her inexperience. This man is like next to God figure in the heart of these women, married, single... And he being a sharp guy knowing fully well that he is tall, charming, handsome and very successful, knows very well that he can easily have his way into the pants of these powerless women who have been iring secretly him all along. So in a way I won't call this a rape but I know it was not a mutual consent thing. They definitely felt used, abused, disappointed, abused, taken advantaged of, sexually molested.

So we can call this rape legally because the sexual acts was not a mutual consent thing. He made sex to them and he must have been having his way with many other beautiful women in his church but many of them are consensual thing. Few of them are actually raped, violated because they never expected they would fall so easily to his charm. They felt violated because they looked up to this man as a Father and spiritual figure more than a sexual partner.

My advise is that wives of pastors and GOs should start having sexual orientation lesson among themselves. Damn it. Many married do these but the worst that could happen is divorce. Pastors wives should do everything possible to become better and seriously improve on their bedmatics. Many married women becomes so boring immediately they get married. No new styles, very rigid, not creative, boring on bed, lazy and lose their beautiful and sexual personality after marriage.

We cannot blame the wives of these men for the actions of their partner. These men are sexual predators.

GraGra247:
1. Her story simply didn't add up. Reno Omokri logically broke it down.

2. Why did she wait this long to come out. Ese Walter saga should have emboldened her to speak if she was truly raped.

3. She claimed she was raped multiple times. This was her biggest flaw. If the first one was rape, the rest wasn't as long as she wasn't living with the man. She was at least 17 and can reason.

4. Why didn't she report to her parents. At least to her mother if she was shy.

5. How could he rape her in her own parents house with relatives present and there was no ruse.



MY CONCLUSION:

She wasn't raped. She "unwilling" allowed him to have sex with her multiple times but she was disappointed with him as a so called pastor.

It haunted her and she felt so ashamed and chose a rape claim as escape route.

She was raped and also taken advantage of by a powerful man and influential personality within her circle. She interpreting or handling it differently does not negate the fact she was sexually molested by someone she trust and look up to. She was a teenager and possibly incapable of appreciating, understanding and also acknowledging the significance and effects of what transpired between them. However, what is clear is that she didn’t like it and was taken advantage of.

MrgudK:
The allegations levelled against the Pastor are rather humiliating for his position and certainly not one for a true man of God who should lead by example, as such filthy things as these should not be heard around his corridors; but this is life, and things happen. Guilty or innocent, he knows, Bukola knows as well.

Why he cannot step down.

The law here in Nigeria states that "one is innocent until proven guilty" while in the western world "one is guilty until proven innocent " please let's get this right.

It's imperative that we understand some of these little differences even as we tend to copy everything western. We should let the law take its full course, the idea of taking sides and ing judgments for empathy sake or for whatever reason is not ideal in the real sense. We should learn to have an open mind and always let the law take its course. That is how we can move out of where we are now and into a civilized society.

Please be informed. Mod do your job.

He needs to step down for his own good and for the progress of COZA. The series of allegations against him are overwhelming and have considerable reputational consequences. He also needs to step down because it appears he has a disease - Sex addiction. Hence, he requires time for treatment and therapy to cure himself from this disease. He needs professional help and not prayers for his own good, family, marriage, potential and prospective victims and likewise, COZA. He also needs to step down because he has violated the moral teachings, dogma and principles he believes in.

Stepping down temporarily at this moment is the best decision for COZA and for him too. Probably in his moment of solitude, he would appreciate his grievous and atrocious actions and consider remediation plans to mend his ways. If the elders or leaders of COZA encourage him to stand strong, they are enablers and also putting other young women in harms way.

There may be some credibility to your story. However, we cannot rule out the fact Pastor COZA lure young ladies and sleeps with them. Some of these women may have lust for it, others, who I considered innocent, did not consider it. Therefore, I think action should be taken to curb his actions to avoid other women falling into hands.

Based on your information and other accusations, it appears to be a popular theory within COZA the Pastor sleeps around with . That the church leaders did not consider to take any action is baffling. Also, it’s an abuse of his authority as the leader of his organization to take advantage of his followers. It is also disrespectful to his moral views, teachings as well as his marriage.

If we consider your theory of Busola Dakolo promiscuity. Have you considered the emotional damage her rape or alleged immoral affair had on her. She was a young victim.

I am a strong advocate for men’s right especially in this #Metoo movement where powerful men are being brought to shame based on just accusations. However, in this COZA case, there are somethings that are we particularly wrong.

This is not the first time the pastor has been accused of molesting his church . It’s not even the fourth time. Even the pastor itted having consensual sex with one of his member and that encounter almost destroyed the young lady.

In my opinion, I don’t think the attempt of the Dakolos is to pull down COZA, but an overwhelming mind who need to speak to curb the excesses of a predator masked as a pastor. I also think it’s high time people struck against his enablers too