NewStats: 3,259,725 , 8,170,726 topics. Date: Sunday, 25 May 2025 at 07:50 PM 3x2q2z

Also, as a man, take advice from men, not women. I have read some posts here. It's okay to see where women are coming from but there is a reason you are called A MAN. Women are born to be manipulative. Is it only you that will enjoy sex? Look at how they are telling you to work hard to get the coochie. You sound like a smart man because you said you can feel she's not into it. She can be stressed out, she may need help but you can't go beyond what God has given you. She could even be going through PPD as she gave birth and is breastfeeding. There are some women that enjoy all the goodness of men and will still not change and I am talking from real life experiences. They say make you pray on top sex. See wahala my guy Do you notice how they conveniently ignored your efforts but you are still the problem?

It seems you don't know how women think. They are more emotional than logical. They hate the truth too, that's why when they hear what men say and how they solve their problems, it irritates them. Take advice from men. Don't be a sissy to a woman. Be the head of your house. If she doesn't know her duty as a wife, as a mother and as a spouse and it's you that has to be doing marathon work to get her wet, then the problem is not you. The woman herself is not ready to it that she is a part of the problem. Women take advantage of good men, they think they are weak and mumu. Take control of your house pal.

Sex is food in marriage. The reason why I disagree with some suggestions there is that even if you provide 100% and she is at home, enjoying herself, you will be surprised that it's not enough to satisfy her and you cannot control her desires. This is about the person, not you. This is why men get into trouble, stealing and cheating just to satisfy a woman. After you get her the expensive stuff, it's something cheap that will get her emotion than your money. Let her know your principles as a man and respect it, if it is not enough for her, let her go and find it in her delusional lala land. Women only react to reality and action and sometimes it takes time.

You don't always need to argue with women. You argue with your decisions. When they see action, their brains reset. Trust me, this is advice from man to man. Your chrtistan teachings is consuming you and you have forgotten that God gave you a brain too. Take back control of your house.

apprentist:


It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

U beg for sex? A married man.

I don't know if I call you a Simp or not

You were even buying her gifts to entice her to give u her kpekpus? U never ready bro..

You don't do things to win a woman's heart, a woman do things to win Ur heart instead

onuku:
✓Can you just for once give reasonable advice? Some of the advice you give are disted. Some folks bringing their issues here need healing, and not all these bashings from you. Be positive and get a good life.

Positivity gives a good life? This from someone who has a problem having a decent conversation with his wife? 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

I prefer being practical in all things ... You know treating others the same way I would like for them to treat me... Seeing them as my equals, etc. I understand these ideas are completely foreign to the lot of you but I still have to let you know that it is possible to live in peace with others without needing to force them into situations they are uncomfortable with, the only language you all seem the know. 😁

onuku:
Can you just for once give reasonable advice? Some of the advice you give are disted. Some folks bringing their issues here need healing, and not all these bashings from you. Be positive and get a good life.

That fellow has got to be one of the most deluded, irrational, mentally unstable fellow I have ever come across.

Always in the wrong side of things.

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Be careful how you handle this matter, women too require a job to give them fulfillment or a sense that they matter in life. So your wife has to balance a triangle in her life, which are her job, her children and her husband. Unfortunately, you the husband are getting the shortest end of the triangle.

What you both need is a reconnection, by the way it can be an hormonal issue or a health challenge, but you guys have to have an honest conversation without you nagging of lack of attention. On of these Fridays just buy ice cream put it in the freezer and tell her you have date night, get the kids to bed early and you guys sit and have ice cream and talk, ask her what her challenges are and how you can help make the burden lighter, express your need for sex and how it's important to your wellbeing, ask if you can come up with a system that can be mutually beneficial to both of you.

apprentist:


I get you.

Get different girls and start enjoying Ur life, then relax and watch the drama. Na Ur wife go use her head arrange herself.

U literally gave her your power when you started begging her for sex and buying gifts for her just to entice her. That's how weak men aka Mr nice guys behave. Meanwhile you're empowering her to continue denying u sex. You're not yet serious

U gerit

rapheal5:
Almost all married men with little income are going through this sex drama, ops the only solution to this drama is double your income make more money..

apprentist:


It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

Wrong! It is you and her who are the priority.

If you both are not happy your home is going to be broken and guess what your kids will still be fine.

While you both remain not happy

apprentist:

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

Ah! Damn! She's gone. She's getting it in the office and now she belongs to someone else now.

Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues....

The problem of your marriage began with that which you said.

Is it that you cannot cook? After coming back home tired, she still tries her best to cook, you eat, wash your hands clean and still want to Nack her. 🙄 Is your name Lasisi🙄 Do you want to kill her?😂😂

See I cook, and it takes me an hour to make any soup, ladies may use 1:30min or 2hours, bro... She will be exhausted 🙄🙄🙄

Try helping out in the cooking at times, or strategize to keep the soup in bowls and keep 'em in the freezer.. She is simply too tired to spread her legs or get naughty after the cooking... cheers

.

Ahmed0336:
Oga lemme be honest with you, once your wife starts to notice you no longer beg for sex and you're always happy, that's when things will fall back in place.
I don't have to tell you what to do.

the best advice so far. You're winning other comments with 4:0

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

How I wish every married woman could understand the importance of sex to a man, though marriage is not a guarantee to everyday sex, in fact married people are the most sex starved... the worst is when they start having children, they start losing interest in it. My candid advice is to draw her attention to it, if she refuses to change look elsewhere, in fact one woman is not a enough for a man's sexual needs. Don't be tied by religion, your happiness matters. Our fore fathers had many wives, so they weren't starved.

Omor!

See caption!

Sex starved NLer

Seun you do this one

Apprentist, how we NL females fit take epp your case now?

Na to find two househelp for your wife to help out with house chores.

The only problem is you are not sure you can keep your kpomo together with the presence of a young maid.

Make you take am easy bro, conji nor dey kpai pesin it can only distract you.

God did not create women to work.
Their natural assignment is to organize the home, train the children in the family's culture and entertain the husband.

The above mentioned assignments is even too heavy for one person not to mention another additional 5:7 Job.

When a woman is burdened with responsibilities that adds pressure on her, there's a shift in her hormonal dynamics favouring stress hormones and testosterone, and this makes her not to feel tender and natural as a woman. By this, she starts becoming aggressive, and less emotional.

Just understand that you are in a precarious situation and your wife is innocent and have not intentionally done anything wrong. She won't accept to stop working if she senses you are not financially buoyant to take care of the family. This she might not tell you, but never you misunderstand her when she becomes aggressive or refuses your moves.

I will advice you to prove your financial capabilities first, then you can discuss with her and make sure to approach her with empathy.

Cheers!!!

delugadou:


If what you are earning can take care of the family, make sure she quits the job immediately. Eliminate every threat to your marriage. Don't listen to anyone that is advising you to manage oo. Regret is waiting in front.

The moment you stop sleeping with your wife, her colleagues will take over. That's why she should quit ASAP.

If his wife becomes a house wife, otilo. I pity the op. His wife would have time to fantasize about all her ex and Will get laid by them again and again.

Don't play with an idol mind. It travels far more than you can comprehend

Mr. Oga from your story it's clearly that you are selfish. These are my reasons:
1. Simply because she did not give you sex before the arrival of fruit of the womb. Did you considered her age, when woman is above 30yrs, their tissue is not closing again.
2. The only that is constant in Life is CHANGE. Arrival of children will need flexibility in marriage.
3. Let learn to tolerate each other in marriagehood.
Please note that if the work you are doing today and you are disengage, the little job she is doing can sustained the family before you secure another one.

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

This just came into my mind. I hope she can drive very well? If yes, leave the car at home. Leave the house for a week, pay for a cheap hotel close to where you work. Go to work from there. If she doesn't return to her senses. Then just know you have snappy decision to take… all the best! Although I don't advice you for a divorce or marrying a second wife. But give the above tip for a trial..

My brother
Is either your wife is seeing someone better than you on bed or you are too boring for him on bed, blood run through every human being body, no matter how her body strong reach, it get some day she will feel like having sex. So check those two things very well

Bro, they are somethings that forming "busy" does not excuse, bathing, eating, sleeping and s*x. S*x is not a 100 meter sprint, so I don't understand the tiredness part. Anyway, it's either one is having it at home or outside, nothing like too busy or tired to whine waist for 20 or less minutes.

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Your immediate options will be try to get to bed early with her, no later than 10pm and possibly wake her for sex at 4am or thereabout. On the 2 weekends in month she is free, good time will be 6am, let the romance last longer, determine her highly erogeneous zones and play with that a lot. In fact on one of these weekends, romance her so well and refuse to have penetrative sex, by doing that you are manipulating her sexual desires towards you. A
womans vjay has its own brain. Lol . it re sexual encounters that makes her cum and wants to have more of that encounter. It also gets more stimulated when sexual encounters is rationed, it is a reverse psychology to increase her want for sex.


Set up a business or get her to school ASAP are your other options.

Ah! I see now.

This is a "she wants to marry situation.

Phabulous4:
I see why you’re called on this matter. Not only are you knowledgeable, you also have first-hand, raw experience and a ion for young marriages. May God continue to bless and keep your home. My love to the little one (the fresh certificate you just acquired), lools!. Those kids are rockets, quite restless!

As for me, I’m very well domesticated. I do a lot in the house. I started bathing our child at 3 months, and I still do so even now, I back him when he needs to sleep, help to feed him, we did the potty training together, and even now, I still wake him up at nights to pee! I cook sometimes too, and all of that. I was out of the country for the past two weeks, and they could hardly cope without me around. That’s how connected we are, a perfect triangle. My wife can’t drive, so I handle the driving and school runs whenever I’m working from home.

My wife just categorically told me that we were not married primarily to have sex, i.e., sex is a secondary need. I’m trying to adjust to that reality, though it’s hard! Some things I won’t say on record!!

I'm not optimistic about any change, but might take few learning from you advise and try them out. The problem is if I even want to try at all despite all that I am doing now! l just want to leave things the way they are!

Thanks once again. You should have a channel where you do this and earn something on the side. Lols!

You said you're a Christian

Isn't marriage supposed to be a safety net from adultery? Doesn't sex in marriage serve to protect the married against illegal sex?

If so, doesn't that make sex an important duty in marriage?

bigiyaro:
Bro, they are somethings that forming "busy" does not excuse, bathing, eating, sleeping and s*x. S*x is not a 100 meter sprint, so I don't understand the tiredness part. Anyway, it's either one is having it at home or outside, nothing like too busy or tired to whine waist for 20 or less minutes.

you don't know anything

chinchum:
Your immediate options will be try to get to bed early with her, no later than 10pm and possibly wake her for sex at 4am or thereabout. On the 2 weekends in month she is free, good time will be 6am, let the romance last longer, determine her highly erogeneous zones and play with that a lot. In fact on one of these weekends, romance her so well and refuse to have penetrative sex, by doing that you are manipulating her sexual desires towards you. A
womans vjay has its own brain. Lol . it re sexual encounters that makes her cum and wants to have more of that encounter. It also gets more stimulated when sexual encounters is rationed, it is a reverse psychology to increase her want for sex.


Set up a business or get her to school ASAP are your other options.

Ah. Story

She deceived him to marry her. So now that she is married, she has gone back to her former ways.

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Where in ur bible did they tell u that divorce is not an option, infact lack of sex is number one reason for divorce ,I just sent mine divorce notice last month for getting tired whenever I ask for sex,but if she sees me with another girl she flair up

Dont think about cheating! Don't try it!
It will add to your problems! That idea a trap of the devil to ruin your life.
Pray about it and continue to talk to your wife.

apprentist:


See eh... I had to type this here cus I've run out of ideas. Don't know who to talk to or even next step to take.
Back then I used to blame men for cheating or fighting with their wife. But now, I'm pushed to do either.

U r a Christian and ur wife is a Christian, yet she is giving u reason to do Christians aren't supposed to do...

Moreover, if she was threatening Ur peace, u wud still stay bcox u a xtian?

I understand your situation as I can relate. Truth is you're the one complaining now because your work seems more flexible than hers. We are grossly overused at work in this country. Try to imagine it's the other way round and she's the one complaining. It's not easy for her as well. Please just keep an open mind as see her the same person that once gives you care and attention. You're a good man and should remain as such. Don't be in a hurry to suggest resignation until she suggests such. Just keep doing good, things will sort itself out, trust me. Godspeed!

apprentist:


See eh... I had to type this here cus I've run out of ideas. Don't know who to talk to or even next step to take.
Back then I used to blame men for cheating or fighting with their wife. But now, I'm pushed to do either.

get her Evening Primrose supplements, Emzor has theirs but there are also foreign brands. Thank me later for saving your marriage with a pack of Goldberg Black

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Your last paragraph, the option is to continue endure. Meanwhile, one thing I know about women, if they don't want sex from you, they give 1001 reasons ,but if they want sex, even in prison they find way to give you

Let her be

Educationalserv:
marry Second wife problem solved
you be African Man don't let Europeans used religion to make you unafrica

Shey anoda person no de deliver ni. You can never tell.

Winneygirl:
So you cannot sit with your wife and map out how to get a different job?
You cannot review her CV with her and look out for more flexible jobs?
You think she likes working herself to the bones? How much do you have to give her to start up a business?
Do you know how much capital is needed to adequately start something viable? What of the time needed to grow the business?

Instead of being practical and taking the right action to safeguard your family income, you are here moving funny.
If your income alone was enough to keep your family afloat, she will not be working so hard.

Look inwards. Be practical and start looking for a more flexible job for her.

you are right. No woman likes to work that hard. Wife needs another job. With that schedule she currently has, her sexual appetite would be really low.