NewStats: 3,259,343 , 8,169,858 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 May 2025 at 06:21 PM w445t

FitCorper:
Giving my commitment too early, but I learnt d hard way, now I only show care until I Bleep u, then I’m back to lone mode, if u like call me 50 times or cry blood professing hw much u love me, I go just de look u de sip my monkey tail. If u mumu finish u go find another guy deceive. My biggest fear is that I may never love again, I just take people as they are and the biggest way to make me run is talking about love or relationship. My guy said I’m experiencing the hoe phase.

Mommy issues

JimD:


Mommy issues

Everybody has issues
If you don't have mommy issues you will have daddy issues it not then pikin issues
If you don't have pikin issues you will have neighbour issues or village people issues
You cannot escape issues in this life

never help any of them , they dont value help and quick to forget

Don't listen to words, look at actions

If the words don't align consistently with the actions, then they are just using words

Once babe don fall you hand, as in she leave u because of another guy, free the babe, nor try renegotiate, the best you would become is spare tyre. Refused to be used

NEVER TAKE YOUR NIGERIA WIFE TO LIVE IN EUROPE

Being nice ... prioritizing and being committed to her.....it cost me dearly..my heart shattered, my eyes peel.....Never again!...

Investing in a relationship with someone that was disloyal and betrayed me.. Not her fault, I chose wrongly..
Relationship is tested in adversity not when it's easy. If your partner shows you who they are, believe them and don't try to justify or reason away what they have shown you!!
Advise to men, love is not the most important thing because it's an emotion that comes and goes. when looking for a long-term relationship with a woman. Loyalty, Respect, best friend, dependability, consistency should be your focus. Trust/Love is a by-product if you can build and foster(Loyalty, Respect, Best friend, Dependability, Consistency) in any relationship. Women do not appreciate or respect a guy that is nice to them, be kind but make sure you are firm.

Too much love and respect.

I learnt the hard way they don't need the two. Even, the one you have as a wife.

SAD

G0odharddick:
Understand that women are only with you because of what they're benefiting, it could be your attention, money, gifts etc

You don’t win a woman’s heart by doing things for her. You win her heart by making her do things for you

How nonsensical. Be it man or woman, you win their heart by helping them achieve a very important goal, desire or wish.

A woman that doesn't give you a measure of her heart after doing something like this for her, is a no good woman, a woman with terrible personality that is incapable of loving.

There are a lot of terrible women out there in the world, and just because you've dated a woman like that doesn't mean that is what all women are like.

Jerixcon:


How nonsensical. Be it man or woman, you win their heart by helping them achieve a very important goal, desire or wish.

A woman that doesn't give you a measure of her heart after doing something like this for her, is a no good woman, a woman with terrible personality that is incapable of loving.

There are a lot of terrible women out there in the world, and just because you've dated a woman like that doesn't mean that is what all women are like.

You know nothing about women. She forgets what you did for her,when another guy do something she values more. That is why she will ask "what have you done for me" Even when you think you have done so much..

Please be wise...

That's how they are wiered.

ledaman:
I disagree with your ascertion.
I don't regret buying expensive gift for the mother of my wonderful kids.
She deserved more than gift.
Moreover, only broke guys complaints about gift given to ladies.
Big boys just smile and move on.
Cest fini

It's not about brokenness
As a simp (what you call big boy), giving gifts undeservingly to random ladies to win their love means you contribute to the growth of the population of entitled ladies in the society. That attitude of trying to buy love also smacks of low self esteem.

endsarrrs:
Men are the biggest mistakes to women

And vice versa

This message reflects a deep sense of cynicism, pain, and frustration—likely shaped by real experiences—but it also contains several harmful generalizations that deserve to be challenged for a more balanced and constructive perspective.

Talismann:
no woman, I repeat no woman will ever love you unconditionally. It has never and will never work that way. Even your own biological mother will dance to the tune of that child who provides the more for her. Don't allow anyone deceive you. As a man, it's better you live with that truth or die in self denial. Even God will despise you if you can't solve issues in his house or useful to him.

Now that being said, there a few real, trustworthy ladies.but the paragraph above is still engrained in their DNA regardless.

As a man what to do. You need to make money, you need to keep working hard. A man paying his bills earns serious respect from everyone.

Once you can't pay the bills, even your dog will whine and grind it's teeth at you when you can't buy it's food.

Avoid gold diggers btw, you should get a woman who is purposeful and going in the same direction with you obviously. But live with the fact that the moment you can't provide anymore, things will likely go wrong.

One love

G0odharddick:


Allow her to invest in that relationship. Let her use her money to come over to your house, buy most things herself with her own money. Cook for you, doesn't bill you stu.pi.dly, even when she does, don't give her, let her give you 100% of her time, like she should be the one constantly calling just to check up on you even when you are at work ( women are keepers in nature)

Let her fight over you, some times tell her you don't have money and watch if she'll do everything possible to help you get out of that situation, she can do this by advertising your goods, or market to people online or physically etc.

Bro, let her invest emotionally in you, let her invest her time in you too. Any girl who do all these for you will never leave you, she'll feel pain and cheated if she wants to leave.

I am saying this out of experience. But sadly today, most guys are quick to spend, send money or airtime to a girl just because they want to impress her. This is why you see guys online crying of heart breaks while the girl no even send at all because she invested nothing in him or in that relationship

very apt.. This is what I have always preached to most guys but they won't listen.. A woman that invest her energy,time and resources on you,will do everything in her power to make the relationship work.

Myrepublic:
You know nothing about women. She forgets what you did for her,when another guy do something she values more. That is why she will ask "what have you done for me" Even when you think you have done so much..

Please be wise...

That's how they are wiered.

Love dying as years flow by is a normal thing for humans. That's why some women will ask that question ten years later.

It doesn't negate the fact that helping a woman achieve an important goal, wish or heart desire is the only way to obtain their love.

And most times, you don't need to actively do anything, just by being there for her, you will have successfully helped her achieve her desire for security, emotional , financial .

That's why we advice men, don't actively go out of your way and try to please a woman, just do what you can, be yourself. Because you don't know what that woman truly wish for at that particular point in her life.

Irrespective of what you do for a woman, If another man helps her achieve her real heart desire, that's the man she will give her heart to.

If you foolishly sacrifice to help a woman achieve her goal, you may end up in tears when you learn that said goal was never truly important to her in the first place.

So if a woman asks the question "what have you done for me" one year later, then that thing you did for her, was not really important to her.

You’ve shared a solid and irable story—your independence, values, and discipline are commendable. But let’s not pretend your experience is the only balanced one, just as others’ negative experiences don’t define all women.

The truth is, both realities exist.
Yes, there are women like you—purposeful, self-sufficient, respectful. And yes, there are also women who manipulate, take advantage, or view men solely as walking wallets. Pretending the second group doesn’t exist doesn’t make the first group more noble—it just silences the pain others have faced.

What many of these so-called "Alpha males" are expressing—however unrefined or bitterly—is pain. Disappointment. Frustration with repeated patterns that feel like emotional or financial exploitation. Does that justify generalizing all women? No. But does it mean their experiences are invalid? Also no.

Let’s be real: men are taught to measure their worth by how much they can provide, not how emotionally intelligent or loving they are. So when a man loses his job or can’t “perform,” and someone he cared for bounces—that cuts deep. It’s not just about money. It’s about worth.

The problem is when people heal by hardening, instead of reflecting. That’s where bitterness comes from.

So yes, your story shows what’s possible. But it shouldn’t be used to invalidate others' hurt. Just like their pain shouldn't be used to paint you—or all women—as heartless or fake.

-What we need more of is nuance:

-Not all women are gold diggers.

-Not all men are simps.

-People are complex.

-Love is risky.

And healing is necessary—for everyone.

OdefaGirl:
Una well done ooo.... Nigerian online Alpha males, na una know the category of women una dey talk about because, me and some of us no send men. I make friends both genders and I present my worth even before I was married, I was too busy to double date. To go out on dates na war cz I don't wanna "eat" your money. I spoil myself in little ways I could.

I've benefited more from women, all the good jobs I have ever had were given to me by women. I won't say I haven't asked a man for favour, I do, if you want... You grant me, if you don't want, you decline... It's your choice.
I borrowed some huge amounts from 4 men last year for a business and paid back within the time I promised to, that's keeping your dignity and respect. Not feeling entitled there by bringing yourself down.

No nah, those that know me physically... knows how kind hearted and respectful I am to everyone and how strict I can be at same time.

So I marvel at the way most of you generalizes your sick experiences.

aribisala0:
What does toxic mean?
That is a word a lot of unintelligent females who listen to other females online use. Presumably they believe it makes them sound educated but achieves the opposite effect

My honest advice to you after today avoid that word. It is what cheap instagram models use
Their usual vocabulary if a man is not BROKE , he is TOXIC or CONTROLLING

unproductive parasitic set of people

Jerixcon:


Love dying as years flow by is a normal thing for humans. That's why some women will ask that question ten years later.

It doesn't negate the fact that helping a woman achieve an important goal, wish or heart desire is the only way to obtain their love.

And most times, you don't need to actively do anything, just by being there for her, you will have successfully helped her achieve her desire for security, emotional , financial .

That's why we advice men, don't actively go out of your way and try to please a woman, just do what you can, be yourself. Because you don't know what that woman truly wish for at that particular point in her life.

Irrespective of what you do for a woman, If another man helps her achieve her real heart desire, that's the man she will give her heart to.

If you foolishly sacrifice to help a woman achieve her goal, you may end up in tears when you learn that said goal was never truly important to her in the first place.

So if a woman asks the question "what have you done for me" one year later, then that thing you did for her, was not really important to her.

So training a lady in school is not important to her? Many have trained ladies,who later ask that question, after they met a richer guy..

icankel:
evaluate the relationship to know if you can walk out now before it's too late to do so. Mine cheated and came back for forgiveness and I forgave her and accepted her in my life. My worst mistake that I don't know how to come out from it. 4yrs relationship.

eish . Hop off the bus in the nearest station else,it will become more expensive to hop off the further it goes.

Bro, your pain is real, and no one can tell you not to feel it.

Leaving your comfort zone—especially in this economy—and relocating just to be closer to someone shows how serious and committed you were. That’s not weakness, that’s effort, that’s vulnerability, and that’s love. Unfortunately, not everyone values those things the same way.

Her never stepping into your house even once? That’s a loud message. And I get why anytime you think about it, it vexes you. You feel played, overlooked, maybe even disrespected. That kind of emotional investment with no return hits hard—especially when you sacrificed your stability.

But here's what you need to hear, even if it stings a bit: don’t stay stuck in the anger. Let it teach you, but don’t let it define you. Use it to grow wiser, not colder.

You showed heart. She showed you who she is. Next time, you move with discernment, not just emotion. No regrets—just lessons. And moving forward, make sure the sacrifices you make are mutual, not one-sided.

Heal, but don’t harden. The right person will meet you halfway, and you won’t have to carry the whole thing alone.f

Kollyk11:
I left my comfort zone in this tinubu regime and came to lagos of all state so as to be with her,she never stepped her foot into my house till today.anytime i i dey always vex for my self

tuoyoojo:
Don't listen to words, look at actions

If the words don't align consistently with the actions, then they are just using words

Once babe don fall you hand, as in she leave u because of another guy, free the babe, nor try renegotiate, the best you would become is spare tyre. Refused to be used

well said. Women can fake all sort of presentation but they can't fake patterns. Men, watch out for her patterns.i.e actions not words..

You were honest, open, and vulnerable—and you got hurt. That’s real. But to turn that one experience (or even a few) into a belief that “all women are liars” is not just unfair—it’s dangerous thinking that can poison your future relationships.

Let’s break it down:

🔹 “Game is game… all women are liars.”
No, some people lie. Some women lie. Some men lie too. Lying isn’t gendered—it’s human. And ironically, the moment you convince yourself everyone’s fake, you stop looking for what’s real. That mindset attracts exactly what you’re trying to avoid—more games.

🔹 You met women who were virgins in their mid-20s and up.
That’s rare, and if true, maybe you were just in circles where certain values were emphasized. But the idea that this made you stop trying to connect with women doesn’t logically connect to the rest of the story. Virginity doesn’t equal virtue, and sexual history doesn’t determine honesty.

🔹 You told a woman the truth, and she lied.
Yes, that’s painful. But again—it’s her, not all women. Being married and honest about it is commendable in a way, but it also puts the relationship in a morally grey zone from the start. People lie for many reasons—fear, insecurity, ego. It’s not excusable, but it’s also not unique to women.

🔹 The bigger issue
It’s easy to cope with betrayal by building a wall and calling it wisdom. But real wisdom is being able to spot red flags without throwing dirt on every flag you see. Generalizing all women as liars only ensures you’ll miss out on the ones who aren’t.

So yes—game exists. People play. But not everyone is playing. Don’t let a few heartbreaks turn you into someone who stops believing in authenticity.

Learn. Discern. But don’t lose your heart trying to protect it.

Blitzking:

I was raised a player my don piro of blessed memory his scope made me get my wife and understand women in general..but I realised one thing I was always coming across virgins and I mean not 17yr old oo..25 and above so I stopped trying to get close to women and focus on my wife then I met this lady she said she loved men who told her the truth and come out plainly so alas since I already had a wife I lowered down my guard and was truthful with her telling her I was married only for me to realise na she be the no 1 liar..caught her lying several times and then I realise game is game...game is life. All women are liars na you never catch them.

This statement actually carries some hard-earned wisdom—particularly about how relationships are tested during adversity and the importance of loyalty and consistency. But it also contains a subtle misprioritization of human connection by sidelining love, and presents advice that, while seemingly grounded, can become overly transactional or emotionally guarded if taken to the extreme

achinu:
Investing in a relationship with someone that was disloyal and betrayed me.. Relationship is tested in adversity not when it's easy.
If your partner shows you who they are, believe them and don't try to justify or reason away what they have shown you!!

Advise to men, love is not the most important thing because it's an emotion that comes and goes. when looking for a longterm relationship with a woman. Loyalty, best friends, reliability, consistency. Trust/Love is a by product of these if you can build and foster these in any relationship.

You're absolutely right that adversity reveals character, and when someone shows you disloyalty, you should believe them the first time. Betrayal isn’t something to excuse, and self-respect means not staying in situations where trust has been broken.

But let’s challenge one key idea here:

“Love is not the most important thing because it’s an emotion that comes and goes.”

That’s a half-truth.

Yes, feelings fluctuate. ion ebbs and flows. But real love isn’t just an emotion—it’s a commitment, a decision, a practice. You can’t build loyalty, friendship, reliability, or consistency without love as the glue. When love is reduced to "just a feeling," you lose sight of its discipline.

And here's the nuance:
Loyalty and consistency are built on love, not separate from it. If someone is loyal but doesn’t care about your emotional well-being… that’s a business partner, not a life partner.

Also, love inspires growth, forgiveness, and connection. It's not something to undervalue just because it’s vulnerable. The healthiest relationships are built on both love and loyalty—not one replacing the other.

So yes—men should be wise, look beyond chemistry, and value long-term traits like consistency and trust. But don’t swing so far in the “rational” direction that you end up emotionally unavailable, or worse—incapable of true intimacy.

Final thought:
Don’t throw love out the window just because someone failed you. Heal, learn, choose better—but don’t confuse wisdom with emotional shutdown. The best relationships are a balance of heart and mind—not one at the cost of the other.

cr7lomo:


If men were like women...una for don get sense tey tey...that's why I advise men to hold on to their God given standards, like women do... if u have a body count more than 3 , u don't deserve to be wifed., if u have had a one nightstand b4 or a fling , u don't deservea serious man.. if u are disrespectful, u don't deserve a dime from a man ... if u hit a Man, he should hit u back in return... if u are broke as a woman, u don't deserve to be in a relationship talkless of a marriage

How will you know she has more than 3 body counts? Why not just insist on a virgin bride?

lavylilly:

Bro, your pain is real, and no one can tell you not to feel it.

Leaving your comfort zone—especially in this economy—and relocating just to be closer to someone shows how serious and committed you were. That’s not weakness, that’s effort, that’s vulnerability, and that’s love. Unfortunately, not everyone values those things the same way.

Her never stepping into your house even once? That’s a loud message. And I get why anytime you think about it, it vexes you. You feel played, overlooked, maybe even disrespected. That kind of emotional investment with no return hits hard—especially when you sacrificed your stability.

But here's what you need to hear, even if it stings a bit: don’t stay stuck in the anger. Let it teach you, but don’t let it define you. Use it to grow wiser, not colder.

You showed heart. She showed you who she is. Next time, you move with discernment, not just emotion. No regrets—just lessons. And moving forward, make sure the sacrifices you make are mutual, not one-sided.

Heal, but don’t harden. The right person will meet you halfway, and you won’t have to carry the whole thing alone.f

those words really made me feel better,thanks so much.Gid bless u

I glad you did. Amen.

Kollyk11:
those words really made me feel better,thanks so much.Gid bless u

lavylilly:
You were honest, open, and vulnerable—and you got hurt. That’s real. But to turn that one experience (or even a few) into a belief that “all women are liars” is not just unfair—it’s dangerous thinking that can poison your future relationships.

Let’s break it down:

🔹 “Game is game… all women are liars.”
No, some people lie. Some women lie. Some men lie too. Lying isn’t gendered—it’s human. And ironically, the moment you convince yourself everyone’s fake, you stop looking for what’s real. That mindset attracts exactly what you’re trying to avoid—more games.

🔹 You met women who were virgins in their mid-20s and up.
That’s rare, and if true, maybe you were just in circles where certain values were emphasized. But the idea that this made you stop trying to connect with women doesn’t logically connect to the rest of the story. Virginity doesn’t equal virtue, and sexual history doesn’t determine honesty.

🔹 You told a woman the truth, and she lied.
Yes, that’s painful. But again—it’s her, not all women. Being married and honest about it is commendable in a way, but it also puts the relationship in a morally grey zone from the start. People lie for many reasons—fear, insecurity, ego. It’s not excusable, but it’s also not unique to women.

🔹 The bigger issue
It’s easy to cope with betrayal by building a wall and calling it wisdom. But real wisdom is being able to spot red flags without throwing dirt on every flag you see. Generalizing all women as liars only ensures you’ll miss out on the ones who aren’t.

So yes—game exists. People play. But not everyone is playing. Don’t let a few heartbreaks turn you into someone who stops believing in authenticity.

Learn. Discern. But don’t lose your heart trying to protect it.

You are right that single event made me over generalise.

lavylilly:
This message reflects a deep sense of cynicism, pain, and frustration—likely shaped by real experiences—but it also contains several harmful generalizations that deserve to be challenged for a more balanced and constructive perspective.

look, my exposé is nothing but the truth. I give summary of the broader discuss because of lack of time.

The reality of man's primal objective as a provider is that it is as old as time itself.
Prehistoric man was purely a provider, the woman giving and nurturing the young.

While a number of men may disagree with my position, I wan't to state that I don't in anyway approve getting involved with a l0usy woman or one who cannot a man in times of distress.

I unravel a hidden truth which is the reality of a man's importance, respect and a whole lot that makes a man, man; being tied to his ability to provide.

The dark truth is a woman can only run for a short while providing for you as a man without her losing respect for you.

It enforces the role of a man in the family. One who must weather the storm to ensure sustainable provision. nothing short of that.

While some may come at me and disagree with my position, I highly advise they stay away from dating or even getting married.

It's what it is

Blitzking:

You are right that single event made me over generalise.

Chief2410:
who e never happen to go think say others dey lie or dem no no smart

💯

Kollyk11:
those words really made me feel better,thanks so much.Gid bless u

Looking like Chatgpt responses.