NewStats: 3,261,910 , 8,175,514 topics. Date: Saturday, 31 May 2025 at 12:22 AM 5b1f27

Now I can sight a mature mind

InvertedHammer:

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1. Do DNA on all your kids.
2. Your life is not safe.

A woman who can keep such secret from a husband is a bomb waiting to explode.

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emmanuelewumi:






Yes Yoruba women are encouraged to have houses, investments and other income generating assets. Yoruba women are entitled to inheritance from their parents.


My late grandma had houses , my late mother had a house, all my sisters have investment properties.


Na wife you marry, no be slave. But the wife as a partner who is making her own money is required to have a financial role in the running of the household expenses

The question is it being kept a secret. Nobody is saying she should not. Why keep it a secret. Leave what you are typing here. You definitely going to feel bad.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Most men if not all are not trustworthy, reliable or responsible.
They can wake up tomorrow and tell you someone is pregnant for them or that they want to take in a second wive. Africa has made men have too much privilege while neglecting the women.

So as a wise woman, if you are married just make sure you have a job and also a business, have savings and when you have enough buy a land in your name or children's name and start something on the land. Whether you tell your husband, it doesn't matter but make sure your father or mother or siblings are aware.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

I like the structural design. I prat to get mine someday....

tetula123:


The question is it being kept a secret. Nobody is saying she should not. Why keep it a secret. Leave what you are typing here. You definitely going to feel bad.

How many couples who cheat tell their spouses about their cheating rendezvous? Isn't that a secret too? Lots of men have has kids outside their marriages and kept it a secret from their wives.
In a marriage, there will always be a secret. This shouldn't be any different

tetula123:


The question is it being kept a secret. Nobody is saying she should not. Why keep it a secret. Leave what you are typing here. You definitely going to feel bad.

There is a woman who used to leave in my area, the husband opened a catering business for her. When she saved money, she asked me to assist her to get a land that she would love to surprise her husband by building a house.


I asked her to inform the husband who opened the business for her. When he told the man, he collected the money from the wive bought a bigger car, moved to a bigger apartment.


Husband was an Electrical Engineer.


The next time she saved money, she bought a land without telling the husband and also built a 3 bedroom apartment on it at Sango Otta


It was after the husband was retired and couldn't afford rent, that the wife opened up to the husband that she had built a house where the family could relocate to.

Na igbo women sabi do this kind thing. They can even send their brothers abroad with their husband's money without the man knowing.

No qualms
Planning to go back to one's father's compound not a bad idea

madridguy:
I will her with a trailer of dangote cement.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Absolutely nothing.

IamMobisola:


How many couples who cheat tell their spouses about their cheating rendezvous? Isn't that a secret too? Lots of men have has kids outside their marriages and kept it a secret from their wives.
In a marriage, there will always be a secret. This shouldn't be any different

All you mentioned they do it. Does it make it right ?

immortalcrown:
I will pray and work to be able to build our own house in my compound.

Any of her belongings that she does not willingly give to me is not worth fighting for, because what is gotten through violence may easily massage ego but can hardly give real happiness. I want to live long. You will die young if you don't overlook or endure certain things in marriage.

Are yhu married at all?
Do yhu really understand what is secret in marriage at all?

emmanuelewumi:



There is a woman who used to leave in my area, the husband opened a catering business for her. When she saved money, she asked me to assist her to get a land that she would love to surprise her husband by building a house.


I asked her to inform the husband who opened the business for her. When he told the man, he collected the money from the wive bought a bigger car, moved to a bigger apartment.


Husband was an Electrical Engineer.


The next time she saved money, she bought a land without telling the husband and also built a 3 bedroom apartment on it at Sango Otta


It was after the husband was retired and couldn't afford rent, that the wife opened up to the husband that she had built a house where the family could relocate to.

The question here. We are assuming in a stable home. The woman does this. Is it right ?

jmoore:
I will do nothing. She used her money, not mine.

curious to know how you would or can differentiate your money and her money in the project, bearing in mind one way or the other you give her money 🤔

tetula123:

The question here. We are assuming in a stable home. The woman does this. Is it right ?

We don't know the home is stable or not, you are assuming the home was stable.



Life is too short to give oneself unnecessary headaches.


The husband has the option of building his own house without informing his wife, he can also decide to send her packing.


If a woman is employed, productively engaged, making her own and contributing her own quota to the running of the house, it is none of my business what she does with her money.


The OP should be happy he has a forward looking wife who is building and not using her money to buy phones, jewelries and cosmetic surgeries. The money some women spend on cosmetic surgeries can build a house.

immortalcrown:
I will pray and work to be able to build our own house in my compound.

Any of her belongings that she does not willingly give to me is not worth fighting for, because what is gotten through violence may easily massage ego but can hardly give real happiness. I want to live long. You will die young if you don't overlook or endure certain things in marriage.

You always rush to dish out stupid responses in the name of being the first to comment, just to get some likes from some idiots.

If you don't understand what marriage is and how it should work, you should just get out from such threads.

amah4game:
curious to know how you would or can differentiate your money and her money in the project, bearing in mind one way or the other you give her money 🤔

Is she not working? Is there no household budget? Is she not contributing her quota of the budgets?

I will allow her to finish, then I pack in there.

[quote author=amah4game post=127618117] curious to know how you would or can differentiate your money and her money in the project, bearing in mind one way or the other you give her money

emmanuelewumi:


Is she not working? Is there no household budget? Is she not contributing her quota of the budgets?

True talk..., she works, she contributes, but if she is the one mainly going to shop for up keep items for the home, for instance a naira cut here and a naira cut there over time fit buy cement

amah4game:

True talk..., she works, she contributes, but if she is the one mainly going to shop for up keep items for the home, for instance a naira cut here and a naira cut there over time fit buy cement

She is a good woman. She didn't use the naira cut here and there to buy hair, phone or do cosmetic surgeries, but she could build a house with the money


She is a very good money manager

emmanuelewumi:

Does not point how you can differentiate your money and her money in the project 🤔
And a good woman would not build a house in secret without her husband knowing,



She is a good woman. She didn't use the naira cut here and there to buy hair, phone or do cosmetic surgeries, but she could build a house with the money


She is a very good money manager

LilMissFavvy:
You think most modern women care about the above? If you go and marry another woman, her life goes on. Just don't keep turning back to nag or fight for the children.

Yẹyẹ
The children that most of you can't take care of alone.
Dey play, u go suffer tire
Even the few ones that manages to take care of the children does so through the money they get from other men. Una go use stubborness and stupidity spoil una marriage come dey follow other MARRIED MEN OUTSIDE What a shame!
A reasonable man will never fight for his kids, he'll develop himself so well that it's even the kids that'll be fighting to be with him.
U think think it's all this generation of men that are stupid and can be easily manipulated?
Dey play

tetula123:

All you mentioned they do it. Does it make it right ?

It doesn't but then again...

immortalcrown:
I will pray and work to be able to build our own house in my compound.

Any of her belongings that she does not willingly give to me is not worth fighting for, because what is gotten through violence may easily massage ego but can hardly give real happiness. I want to live long. You will die young if you don't overlook or endure certain things in marriage.

Easier said than done. How will ur wife be building a house without ur consent? This ur write up is just to get accolades

Perused all your comments here and I discovered how tribalistic you can be against the Yoruba people. I think you live in Yorubaland just as I'm Yoruba and live in your close to your land. From Yoruba women keeping secrets, to tying their womb to Yoruba men being polygamous & not fending for their children! Is Yul Edochie and more Igbo men with multiple wives Yoruba? Many Igbo men here do not fend for their kids. The rate of prostitution in Owerri is alarming. Everything you accused Yoruba of dwells within your people as well. Using Igbo in Lagos as yardstick is survey marred with inaccuracies bc they are the wealthiest set of Igbo. To really know your tribe, come to your land and see with your eyes the reality among your people. If Igbo men takes care of their wife n kids that much, why are 80% cases on Lagos domestic violence ministry Igbo couples breaking their heads & maltreating the kids?! Remove the wool in your own eyes first before you try to remove from others.

bassdow:
Know a couple of Yoruba wives who have done this. No being tribalistic, just that all of them wey I know na Yoruba.

Guess they wanna play safe should their man marries another woman as is prevailent among Yoruba Men.

As for how I got to know, people mostly trust me enough to open up to me.

And when they know You're the sort who don't spread information (me dey forget our discuss as you dey talk am, hence you never would hhear it elsewhere except it's from you) about, then they don't have issues doing AMEBO with you.

As for mua, I give listening ear, afterall, AMEBO sweet especially when no be you be the subject

Nothing If it is with her money.

emmanuelewumi:




We don't know the home is stable or not, you are assuming the home was stable.



Life is too short to give oneself unnecessary headaches.


The husband has the option of building his own house without informing his wife, he can also decide to send her packing.


If a woman is employed, productively engaged, making her own and contributing her own quota to the running of the house, it is none of my business what she does with her money.


The OP should be happy he has a forward looking wife who is building and not using her money to buy phones, jewelries and cosmetic surgeries. The money some women spend on cosmetic surgeries can build a house.

you still didn’t answer my question. Let me help you out. Is is ok for couples to keep secrets? Now the op didn’t say this or that happened. So we will assume it’s a stable home. Now I ask again. Is it right for couples to keep secrets?

In as much the building of the house by my wife in her fathers compound is not affecting my finances, I don't have problems with it.

4mee:
that's the deepest from of betrayal. i'll advice you review this for tips

How is it betrayal?

ogawisdom:
Hmmm why is she hiding it from me?
To continuing billing me I guess?

I will ignore her and unleash my own secret on her.

It means we will keep alot of secrets in that marriage, who says I can't secretly marry and start another family elsewhere before kicking her out

NB I will her if she is open about it and has been ing in our home.

Lolzzz! Na secret family be that.

jmoore:
I will do nothing. She used her money, not mine.

That is where the mindset should be clear