NewStats: 3,261,910 , 8,175,515 topics. Date: Saturday, 31 May 2025 at 12:32 AM 3k732a

cococandy:


right? You’re spot on.

Let me cheer you to open one.

kaylov12:
So many topics to discuss on this thread but please can we discuss the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

Most Naija parents feel they get quality education cheaply here which mostly is not the case.
I am a secondary school maths teacher and I weep for these children. Lack of motivation, apathy, to mention a few.

Asides creating a safe and enabling environment for students to learn, PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN UK AREN'T ANY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE IN NIGERIA.

Parents need to be more involved in their children's education.

Interesting!

I disagree with your bolded statement. Its always best to compare like for like instead of making sweeping statements. In my opinion, state schools in UK are way better than public schools in Nigeria. Some state schools in UK may be comparable to some private schools in Nigeria (but not the top private ones).

Note the definitions below
British definition of State school - A school that is funded and controlled by the state and no fees are charged
British definition of Public school - A school, in England and Wales (not Scotland) that is fee charging and is paid for by parents.

What we term 'public' in Nigeria is called 'state' in United Kingdom and what we term 'private' in Nigeria is termed 'public' in England and Wales (not sure of what it is called in Scotland). Context here is SCHOOLS.

Not all state schools in UK are as bad as you have described. There is a reason for OFSTED ratings but I agree that some schools may be below the expected standard. These are due to many reasons eg if you live in an economically deprived area or perhaps where most parents are on benefits among many other reasons.

My advise would be, if you are immigrating with children, consider areas that have good state schools. If you can afford public school, it is well worth the fees.

nnenwa5:


Let me cheer you to open one.

Nne ike adighim

Alexgeneration:
You're here to derail this thread with your bitterness masked like goodwill.


Nobody has mentioned any gender bias until you came with your knuckle head. Take your misery outside.

You a

Akorkor:


It is well. I am presently in a flat because I feel is the fastest and cheapest to get as a new comer. Please when can one start looking to buy a house after arriving. Tier2 visa. 1month, 3months or ....

As soon as you have a deposit!

cococandy:
Nne ike adighim

Emerem understand.

1Sharon:


And when the kids grow up, you all complain that they don't speak their language.

I never complain that kids don't speak their language. I only said I like when I hear the Asians speak. I'm very indifferent about kids speaking native languages. I speak mine well, but it hasn't earned me anything

State schools get levels in UK. I'm referencing England. You need to chose your area carefully before you move in. They call it postcode lottery. Some people go to the extent of renting a house they won't live in just to be in a catchment area of outstanding or good schools. The problem with UK is lack of motivation and benefit system so in some areas, the kids and teachers don't bother to push kids.

The area you live is a huge determinant if you are middle class. So chose your area carefully.

kaylov12:


What works for one person may not work for the other.
Some women like are always say are super women, I don't know how they keep it together.
I work as a full time teacher with 2 kids under 8 as well, but I must confess, it is hard and not cheap. My 2 kids have to attend breakfast and after school club. They both don't eat Oyinbo food so I have to make hot meals everyday.
Schools will call to collect kids when something happens.
If any of them have to stay at home, I automatically have tot stay home as well. Childcare is a full time job on its own.It really is a draconian task to get through everyday.

I have sent SOS message to hubby. I don't know what may happen if I continue like this.

I'm not a super woman at all. Like I said, not as easy as I put it down in black and white.

There were several nights and days of crying and helplessness. So many days and nights I packed up and wanted to leave. But determination kept me. And like I said, it's getting easier. It's been a year, I still can't say how we got through. But we did. And I've somehow become a "counsellor and adviser" on the matter.

I've had days the school called that my kids haven't been picked up by the carer, which means dropping everything and rushing down. Unplanned cab fares, plenty challenges. But it's all about your mindset and what you are determined to do.

In all, do what works for you. Your sanity is the most important.

Chai, came late to the party oo. Thanks for setting this up mamatukwas. So much to learn

Lilipo:


Interesting!

I disagree with your bolded statement. Its always best to compare like for like instead of making sweeping statements. In my opinion, state schools in UK are way better than public schools in Nigeria. Some state schools in UK may be comparable to some private schools in Nigeria (but not the top private ones).

Note the definitions below
British definition of State school - A school that is funded and controlled by the state and no fees are charged
British definition of Public school - A school, in England and Wales (not Scotland) that is fee charging and is paid for by parents.

What we term 'public' in Nigeria is called 'state' in United Kingdom and what we term 'private' in Nigeria is termed 'public' in England and Wales (not sure of what it is called in Scotland). Context here is SCHOOLS.

Not all state schools in UK are as bad as you have described. There is a reason for OFSTED ratings but I agree that some schools may be below the expected standard. These are due to many reasons eg if you live in an economically deprived area or perhaps where most parents are on benefits among many other reasons.

My advise would be, if you are immigrating with children, consider areas that have good state schools. If you can afford public school, it is well worth the fees.

Agreed at all you said. One needs to do research and all properly when choosing schools. It may not be easy for new migrants moving in with older kids and just accepting what the council allocates. But ensure you don't restrict yourself.

When I was applying for my son reception alone, I read all the ofsted reports, performances in key subject, visited the school to get a sense before applying. I did not restrict myself to 2/5mins drive because I wanted a very good school with good performance reports.

All my 5 options were schools I liked so when I got the 4th one, I was pleased.

A lot of people ask me why the school is far away (10 to 20mins drive) but I am happy with my choice and the changes/improvement in my child.

Another thing to add is, people should also start preparing their kids early for secondary grammar schools if you have in your area. I know people who started training and coaching as early as Year 4, though not easy but worth it.

Thank you Mamatukwas. Long overdue thread.

Lilipo:


Interesting!

I disagree with your bolded statement. Its always best to compare like for like instead of making sweeping statements. In my opinion, state schools in UK are way better than public schools in Nigeria. Some state schools in UK may be comparable to some private schools in Nigeria (but not the top private ones).

Note the definitions below
British definition of State school - A school that is funded and controlled by the state and no fees are charged
British definition of Public school - A school, in England and Wales (not Scotland) that is fee charging and is paid for by parents.

What we term 'public' in Nigeria is called 'state' in United Kingdom and what we term 'private' in Nigeria is termed 'public' in England and Wales (not sure of what it is called in Scotland). Context here is SCHOOLS.

Not all state schools in UK are as bad as you have described. There is a reason for OFSTED ratings but I agree that some schools may be below the expected standard. These are due to many reasons eg if you live in an economically deprived area or perhaps where most parents are on benefits among many other reasons.

My advise would be, if you are immigrating with children, consider areas that have good state schools. If you can afford public school, it is well worth the fees.

To be clear, We immigrants get carried away by the FREE EDUCATION AND ENVIRONMENT and believe it's better than what we had back home which isn't always the case especially for those of us who are in a way bouyant or thoughtful enough to migrate. Some attend better schools back home than where they are at, OUTSTANDING / GOOD

When I mean public schools, it's in a layman's language for better understanding.
I am not disputing that there are good schools here
I compared these schools with Naija public schools and rightly so.

It's a free school providing education for ALL. In as much as teachers want to help students succeed, there isn't much they can achieve judging by the workload, content to cover, students' behaviour, attitude to learning and lots more which I believe is similar to public schools in Naija.

OFSTED doesn't rate a school on academics alone.
So expect that an OUTSTANDING school may have equal academic output as a school rated GOOD. Perhaps the later may lack in areas of istration, behaviour and likes. In this case, I am concerned about academics. I have seen top classes in a RI school outperform that in an OUTSTANDING school.

I still maintain my opinion and do not argue as this may not be a general to all cases but majority.
Parents need to be more involved in the education of their wards. If your children attend free school, you have to go the extra mile to them. What is being learnt in school alone won't cut it and that's a fact.
We have to work extra for a desired result for those who care.

fatima04:


Agreed at all you said. One [b]needs to do research [/b]and all properly when choosing schools. It may not be easy for new migrants moving in with older kids and just accepting what the council allocates. But ensure you don't restrict yourself.
it.

I 100% agree. I was obsessed with researching schools for my kids months before we arrived. When we moved here my husband couldn’t understand why I said no to many rentals till I found one in the right catchment. Research is key.

I am still not been understood.

Do you know how when we were young, for those of us that attended public schools in Naija, that we leave school and attend extra lessons or have lesson teachers? Because we want to cover syllabus and WAEC? That's exactly what I am talking about.

Even in good areas, students will be students. Very different amongst their peers. Some better some not. Different things happen in the classroom.

We shouldn't just count on what is taught to be enough for our kids to their exams.

Mamatukwas:


I 100% agree. I was obsessed with researching schools for my kids months before we arrived. When we moved here my husband couldn’t understand why I said no to many rentals till I found one in the right catchment. Research is key.

What is written isn't exactly as it happens behind closed doors believe me.
When it's OFSTED INSPECTION TIME, the whole school run kitikiti and katakata. 100% of the times its not the case.

kaylov12:


What is written isn't exactly as it happens behind closed doors believe me.
When it's OFSTED INSPECTION TIME, the whole school run kitikiti and katakata. 100% of the times its not the case.

I feel you. I agree with a lot of what you’ve said. The ginger in state schools here is quite low. Teachers seem to be more interested in making sure no one feels ‘bad’ as opposed to challenging the students.

The koko as you’ve said already holds true: Parents should be very involved in their child’s learning activities and as much as possible. If you can afford private, go for it.

Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

LagosismyHome:

lol seems your right about it being common with boys o…thank you so much for your input
This crying seems to be more common in boys based on my experience and some of my friends ...but don't worry he would soon turn to a big boy. Maturity will stop the cry. .... my son was like this, and he is part of b/g twin which made it more obvious..... in my head i am like see your age mate does she cry like this . Now at 7 to 8 I am not needing to bring a bucket to catch those tears. It just quietly disappeared with age and time .

;

ukay2:

Loool…thank you for the reassurance


carry him come joor, my girl the cry too

many of the oyibo children that come to my hospital de cry well well too


every child has the right to cry, but no go de beat him oooo

How do you folks handle keeping the cultural heritage while raising the kids?

It's quite common these days especially amongst Africans that the kids don't understand the local dialect and have little or no connection to their root. The connections most of the adults and teenagers I have met is only Afro music.

If feels like there's a problem looming where the kids might have identity crises with the loss of connectios to home when we are long gone.

Bluetherapy:
How do you folks handle keeping the cultural heritage while raising the kids?

It's quite common these days especially amongst Africans that the kids don't understand the local dialect and have little or no connection to their root. The connections most of the adults and teenagers I have met is only Afro music.

If feels like there's a problem looming where the kids might have identity crises with the loss of connectios to home when we are long gone.

I don't speak my language at home because my husband is not Nigerian and of course does not understand the language. However, they all understand certain words and whenever I switch, my children sit up and take notice cos e mean say I don vex

My children are also mixed race so there's the knowing their culture from my perspective, their culture from their father's perspective and their culture as mixed British children who will probably be classed as black British especially my twin 1. Because we now also live in a completely different country temporarily, they're firmly third culture kids!

Few things I do:

1. Everyone calls them by their traditional names. They also call themselves by those names as well. At school, they use their first names which are English names but everyone - in-laws, friends, neighbours. They will correct people who pronounce their names wrongly as well which I love.
I enforce the Nigerian respect with a few allowances. So they can't call any adult by name. Some very close friends (very few) are Aunty and Uncle. Everyone else is Mr, Mrs or Miss. They must without fail greet anyone that walks into our home and respond when greeted. I encourage them to refuse body as they wish ie hugs, hand shakes.

2. Our night time reading includes books from home. We're currently reading port of Mallam Illiya. I talk about the north (which is where I am from), we locate the different places on the map and as I speak Hausa very fluently - I teach them some words in Hausa as well.

3. We have a library full of books from home and other African and African American writers. Their hands down favourite books are the Binti Series by Nnedi Okoroafor and she writes comics too which my husband loves.

4. We eat a wide variety of food and I always link it back to similar foods back home with the proper names and pronunciation.

5. All my work clothes - without exception are made from Ankara and so are their clothes. Luckily they don't wear uniform at their school either.

6. We schedule a 2 weekly video call with my siblings. It lasts for several hours and no, we just don't sit and talk. We do our normal household things as well. It means they have some sort of glimpse into life at home, see their cousins in their own home and space. This weekend's call, my sister was having a small get together so we participated virtually. There was all the greeting, singing, shouting - you know what our gatherings are like

7. I try to find suitable movies to watch - this is bit trickier as majority are not kid friendly at all. So we watch SA movies too.

8. I have very close Nigerians and African friends that share similar values. Luckily for me, I can speak a few Nigerian languages so will often speak Yoruba (by far the largest number of Nigerians I've met abroad), Hausa, Idoma (very rare to find them), Igala with friends we visit.

Little steps - it's not quite enough but we'll get there. We do have plans to go live in 9ja for about 2 years in the future. Of course that totally depends on employment opportunities as I can't imagine living at home and blowing through our savings for 2 whole years!

LagosismyHome:


A lot of Nigerians grew up with the upbringing, yet a lot of Nigerians are behaving badly now in their adult life, killing is on the rise even using parents for rituals, depression is on the rise so with many things

Meaning how effective was all these nigerian shouting, beating and harsh upbringing. It didn't result in a perfect society

I believe children should be brought with firm hard and guided from small but it not by shouting and or excessive beating

There are numerous variables that lead to all that bad stuff you noted up there

Asian societies with working systems employ the use of the rod and have well-behaved kids

mumzt:


The language this is another issue to unlearn and relearn �

It's not easy honestly. Especially if the parents are from different ethnic groups. I ire the Asians when I hear their kids speak, but incorporating it is a big issue. I don't even to speak to them. May God help me

Madam, be intentional about this. I speak Yoruba to my kids, most time, at home. Though you will laugh tired when they speak it but at least they understand.

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

It might vary depending on where you live. In my council you need to present a catholic baptismal certificate to be given preference. Otherwise you ask for placement and you’ll be considered last after non-Catholics.

Ticha:



Few things I do:

1. Everyone calls them by their traditional names. They also call themselves by those names as well. At school, they use their first names which are English names but everyone - in-laws, friends, neighbours. They will correct people who pronounce their names wrongly as well which I love.
I enforce the Nigerian respect with a few allowances. So they can't call any adult by name. Some very close friends (very few) are Aunty and Uncle. Everyone else is Mr, Mrs or Miss. They must without fail greet anyone that walks into our home and respond when greeted. I encourage them to refuse body as they wish ie hugs, hand shakes.

2. Our night time reading includes books from home. We're currently reading port of Mallam Illiya. I talk about the north (which is where I am from), we locate the different places on the map and as I speak Hausa very fluently - I teach them some words in Hausa as well.

3. We have a library full of books from home and other African and African American writers. Their hands down favourite books are the Binti Series by Nnedi Okoroafor and she writes comics too which my husband loves.

4. We eat a wide variety of food and I always link it back to similar foods back home with the proper names and pronunciation.

5. All my work clothes - without exception are made from Ankara and so are their clothes. Luckily they don't wear uniform at their school either.

6. We schedule a 2 weekly video call with my siblings. It lasts for several hours and no, we just don't sit and talk. We do our normal household things as well. It means they have some sort of glimpse into life at home, see their cousins in their own home and space. This weekend's call, my sister was having a small get together so we participated virtually. There was all the greeting, singing, shouting - you know what our gatherings are like

7. I try to find suitable movies to watch - this is bit trickier as majority are not kid friendly at all. So we watch SA movies too.

8. I have very close Nigerians and African friends that share similar values. Luckily for me, I can speak a few Nigerian languages so will often speak Yoruba (by far the largest number of Nigerians I've met abroad), Hausa, Idoma (very rare to find them), Igala with friends we visit.

Little steps - it's not quite enough but we'll get there. We do have plans to go live in 9ja for about 2 years in the future. Of course that totally depends on employment opportunities as I can't imagine living at home and blowing through our savings for 2 whole years!

This was very good @Ticha thanks! Saving for later.

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

Myth.... non catholic school near you might be better. Just do your research first

kaylov12:
So many topics to discuss on this thread but please can we discuss the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

Most Naija parents feel they get quality education cheaply here which mostly is not the case.
I am a secondary school maths teacher and I weep for these children. Lack of motivation, apathy, to mention a few.

Asides creating a safe and enabling environment for students to learn, PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN UK AREN'T ANY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE IN NIGERIA.

Parents need to be more involved in their children's education.

I have lived in this country for over 15 years and during that time I have learnt that education is not the be it all and end it all in this country. Yes it is good for children to learn the basics in the school but the career path they eventually choose does not matter as long as they are successful in their field. I stayed in one of the Scottish Isles for a good number of years and I can tell you that most of the men on the island didn’t go to University nor did they pay attention in their maths class but majority of them are now earning over £150k per annum as plumbers, fishermen, electricians, sea farers, and even farmers. This is not hearsay, I used to complete their tax return so knew how much they were earning.
We have to realise that this is not Nigeria where there are no jobs and no opportunities. There are heaps of opportunities in this country and we should not stifle our children by moulding them into Nigerian’s idea of success.

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

My kids attend a Catholic school within my area and during the ission process there was never a time the issue of being a Catholic or not came up. In fact my second son turned 3 on the 1st of March and just started school on the 7th of March. Same Catholic school.

Ticha:


I don't speak my language at home because my husband is not Nigerian and of course does not understand the language. However, they all understand certain words and whenever I switch, my children sit up and take notice cos e mean say I don vex

My children are also mixed race so there's the knowing their culture from my perspective, their culture from their father's perspective and their culture as mixed British children who will probably be classed as black British especially my twin 1. Because we now also live in a completely different country temporarily, they're firmly third culture kids!

Few things I do:

1. Everyone calls them by their traditional names. They also call themselves by those names as well. At school, they use their first names which are English names but everyone - in-laws, friends, neighbours. They will correct people who pronounce their names wrongly as well which I love.
I enforce the Nigerian respect with a few allowances. So they can't call any adult by name. Some very close friends (very few) are Aunty and Uncle. Everyone else is Mr, Mrs or Miss. They must without fail greet anyone that walks into our home and respond when greeted. I encourage them to refuse body as they wish ie hugs, hand shakes.

2. Our night time reading includes books from home. We're currently reading port of Mallam Illiya. I talk about the north (which is where I am from), we locate the different places on the map and as I speak Hausa very fluently - I teach them some words in Hausa as well.

3. We have a library full of books from home and other African and African American writers. Their hands down favourite books are the Binti Series by Nnedi Okoroafor and she writes comics too which my husband loves.

4. We eat a wide variety of food and I always link it back to similar foods back home with the proper names and pronunciation.

5. All my work clothes - without exception are made from Ankara and so are their clothes. Luckily they don't wear uniform at their school either.

6. We schedule a 2 weekly video call with my siblings. It lasts for several hours and no, we just don't sit and talk. We do our normal household things as well. It means they have some sort of glimpse into life at home, see their cousins in their own home and space. This weekend's call, my sister was having a small get together so we participated virtually. There was all the greeting, singing, shouting - you know what our gatherings are like

7. I try to find suitable movies to watch - this is bit trickier as majority are not kid friendly at all. So we watch SA movies too.

8. I have very close Nigerians and African friends that share similar values. Luckily for me, I can speak a few Nigerian languages so will often speak Yoruba (by far the largest number of Nigerians I've met abroad), Hausa, Idoma (very rare to find them), Igala with friends we visit.

Little steps - it's not quite enough but we'll get there. We do have plans to go live in 9ja for about 2 years in the future. Of course that totally depends on employment opportunities as I can't imagine living at home and blowing through our savings for 2 whole years!

I’ve never met a northerner married to a foreigner!!!!!

obitryce:


My kids attend a Catholic school within my area and during the ission process there was never a time the issue of being a Catholic or not came up. In fact my second son turned 3 on the 1st of March and just started school on the 7th of March. Same Catholic school.

school or nursery?

babythug:


I’ve never met a northerner married to a foreigner!!!!!

� a good number of northerners are married to foreigners. Not all northerners are hausas. And majority of those married to foreigners are not hausas, this is not to say hausas don't marry foreigners. I'm hausa, so I'm talking from first hand knowledge