NewStats: 3,265,069 , 8,185,531 topics. Date: Friday, 13 June 2025 at 11:00 AM 5kgb

Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (ittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's a costume

spiceadole:


Or the man unofficially abandons the wife with the children and takes off with another woman

Exactly . Or the woman abandons her hubby and kids and shags up with another man in another state

Nigeria should be number one but most divorces happen out of courts with the husband and wife living in the same house like strangers

Guys like sukanmi aka freestuffsng aka Vaughn will cry on hearing this news 🤣🤣

His only hope to survive is to marry a rich lady who can feed him and pay his rent 🤣🤣🤣

Una don break sukanmi heart this afternoon 🤣🤣

accordadoga29:
Hehehe

When a good foundation is not laid, it always ends like this.

From waking up their parents with sidekicks, they graduated to the stage of constituting nuisance abroad.

Awon akotileta, omo irankiran, awon omoatounrinwa, omo ale

Are you educated at all 🤣🤣🤣

Tout 🤣🤣🤣

This one will steal people's phones at the bus stop and come here to type nonsense 🤣🤣🤣

dkidd:

Educate urself child.. u won't die. I just schooled ur stupid ass

Illiterate thug 🤣

dkidd:


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

From no Navy in the world uses yacht to agreeing there's armed yachts. Omor ur dullness even normal one. U are only good at hurling insults. He says it's a rare thing 😂😂😂 boy stop exposing ur foolishness the more abeg. No be only armed civilian cars 🤣🤣🤣

Illiterate pig...

So pumped vehicles are the norm

dkidd:

You actually are the one who needs more education. There's always been armed yachts used by navy worldwide and it's not news. Not that I'm saying they're lying or telling the truth but coming out to debunk what the navy said is actually very shallow. Many of u lots think too much of urselves and always try to belittle other when in reality ur actually nothing.. zero! These are used for sea patrol against pirates and smugglers. The navy and coast guard use this to police the waters in advance countries. They can also serve in times of war. Stop trying to bring others down because u think ur smarter because u actually aren't. In fact u be dullard

Shut up , mugu. Armed yachts are a rare thing just like armed civilian cars idiot.

Yachts are designed as luxury civilian boats.

Fool. Idiotic ronu illiterate .

Dirty pig

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

People like sukanmi aka freestuffsng aka Vaughn will come here and be shouting up and down about development 🤣🤣

Anyways most of them are jobless and have mo source of income other than online scams

franugo:


It's yacht bro, not yatch....but i agree with you tho, I honestly don't see the naval need for a yacht. Abi the news houses aren't presenting facts? Maybe na warship them dey call yacht?

No navy on earth buys a yatch
It's like saying a police man boys a toy gun🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yachts are made for civilians

FreeStuffsNG:


O pari.

Now those who ignorantly claimed it is a leisure Yatch and that it was ordered by the istration of President Bola Tinubu can bury their heads in shame.

It's a naval training/operational vessel that belongs exclusively to the Nigerian Navy, its purchase predates this current istration that took office on May 29.

When Asiwaju Tinubu was the Governor of Lagos state, the state of aquatic splendor for 8 years, he never got a Yatch, it is impossible for him now to require a leisure Yatch now he is President and spends most of his time in the land locked Abuja.

It's just a no brainer that the opposition and LP mob are ignorant and made a complete mess of the opportunity for an intelligent and diligent on the recently ed supplementary budget. Check my signature for free stuffs!

Lies!!!
Sukanmi are you educated at all? This is why talking too much is a bad thing.

Get a job and keep your mind engaged so you talk less and make sense. Do you know what a yacht is at all? Use Google!!!

What does the navy need a yatch for ? A yatch is a civilian vessel!! No navy on earth uses a yacht . It's only in Nigeria corrupt naval bosses own yachts..

This yacht belongs to tinubu this is all damage control, so illiterates who don't know better will believe that the navy ordered a yacht ! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Navy uses vessels and naval boats. A yacht is a luxury civilian boat..

Olodo🤣🤣🤣🤣

ThatrealestApex:


Old man with small boy brain Iike I said earlier, you ain't worth it fam.

I always know people like you who rush to tag someone “Jobless” doesn't have anything going on in their lives, they just wanna console themselves by calling others that thinking everyone is like themselves

A simple challenge yet you chickened out like the coward you are

You have no job o...

Cry from now till tomorrow. Go get a job

ThatrealestApex:


So this is what you could come up with? was expecting to come back Nairaland to meet a well doctored Grammars but ended up being disappointed

This one still dey insult like those secondary school kids, clearly doesn't worth my time

I've given you a challenge already, drop your Instagram handle or number at my mail and let's linkup in reality to know who is better than the other, but ofcourse you chickened-out like the coward you are

Smh

Jobless man looking for social media s to hack 🤣

Thief 🤣🤣🤣🤣

FreeStuffsNG:
This is the great news of new investments coming to Africa to land in Nigeria.

Thanks to all who made this possible.
We need more investments please.

Sunkanmi are you getting a job soon?

you cant keep hiding behind trolling for life

samuelson06:


Manna Vulture grills did this zombie work better than you. Today, he's tired. Even you will be tired. I used to see you like a sane chap, but BAT came and urinated on your brain. You've now retired to sycophancy—digging the web everyday to look for news that suit your zombie work. Weldone.

That is not fred, that is Sunkanmi aka freestuffng aka Vaughn. The guy is one hungry wretched looking jobless guy

That mumu Sulanmi boy boy wont talk here, very foolish local boy

freestuffsng indeed

FreeStuffsNG:
The never-say-never indomitable spirit of a Patriotic Nigerian prevailed once again! We did it and we did it BIG!

Thank you Asiwaju Tinubu for not letting this dream die from the initial stage that the vision carrier, Alhaji Aliko Dangote, ran to you in desperation when our late President Yardua of the PDP , revoked his successful bid for our national refineries. You assured him that Lagos will him to realise his dream. That dream is realized today. You are truly a visionary Leader of our time. God bless you Asiwaju Tinubu.

Thank you Alhaji Aliko Dangote and your team for this great feat.

Thank you President Buhari for approving NNPC's request to the project with the 20% stake.

Thank you Mr Mele Kyari of NNPC and Mr Emefiele of the CBN for the relentless hardwork you both put into this project to save it from failing.

Thank you to all our indigenous banks and international banks, crude oil production companies, CBN, NNPC, patriotic public and civil servants, the great and patriotic Nigerians and lovers of Nigeria who all contributed to make this project a laudable success.

Great gbosagbosa Thank you to the Centre of Excellence, my Lagos state and in particular, Eti-osa for being a worthy host. E seun lopolopo eyin lobaloba, Ijoye ati gbogbo ara ilu Eko.

Thank you HE Babatunde Raji Fashola for your leadership in helping Dangote Refinery call Etiosa home today.

It's a feat even generations unborn will benefit from as they will not inherit the evil petrol subsidy system that nearly killed Nigeria.

To the shame of the naysayers and unpatriotic elements, Dangote Refinery made it and you lost again. All the enemies of Nigeria will lose las las,they always lose.
Congratulations to Nigeria. God bless Nigeria for ever!

Sukanmi you talk to much, go and get a job and stop hanging around on a forum 🤣🤣🤣

Number 6 speaks to alot of people here like Leodeking
Sukanmi aka FreestuffsNg

Menclothing:


A mad cow like you don’t even know the meaning of illiterate jobless man

Illiterate tout

LIES

LeoDeKing:

Myn44 nlfmod dominiue Mukina2 lalastilala sen

;;

ThatrealestApex:


“E pain am” baseless words f©©ls use when they can't say something meaningful

You can drop your Instagram handle let's link up and know who is actually better than eachother in reality

And one thing I can assure you of, is that I'm not even up to your old Miser*ble age yet

Jobless man. i am sure you steal people's phones at the busstop!
Jobless man

ThatrealestApex:
KingOfTheDamned The block headed P!g who inherited Nairaland from his Wret*hed Father

Keep it coming oo, I'll be back later to reply you accordingly

E pain am

illiterate man

ThatrealestApex:


A quick look at your profile tells the kinda F©©L you are

Imagine who is calling someone Jobless f©©ls like you are littered everywhere on this forum sounding bittered always about women.. how many threads have you created about them so far?

A f©©l who allows women to occupy his brain, keep thinking about Evening Newspaper(s) while dilly-dallying your already miser*ble life

You are jobless bro and it shows in your pains opening a stupid thread about to adults who have jobs. tout
E pain am

ThatrealestApex:


[s]I'm very sure you enjoy the banters those Grown up who're capable of having 5 kids each dish out to eachother here? Ediot

And about getting a Job, Tell that to your GP, I think he needs it more coz I already got one

[/s]

You are jobless bro, get a job and learn to focus on minding your business.

ThatrealestApex:


Do you know me before? How close are you to people on this forum before making this Assertion that everyone is jobless here?

Don't you think there are people who “work from home” or must everyone engage his/herself in a “Sufferhead” kind of work like you?

Sometimes its better to be Quiet and Hide your F©olishness than to speak and make it Obvious

Get a job and use your time well...

You need to get a job bro. you have time! Seems most of you on this forum are jobless?

Menclothing:


Poor man that’s the only thing you do on internet your mate are building and storing wealth

What value have your correction added to your life

It is not your internet it is the internet, learn to use punctuations properly. it is not your correction, it is corrections. You are obviously a stark illiterate.

Menclothing:


Was your business with my typing solo

It is what's not was. Illiterate