NewStats: 3,265,453 , 8,186,778 topics. Date: Sunday, 15 June 2025 at 03:17 AM 261j3a

They get Mohammed Alli, we get Bash Alli.

They get T. pain, we get T.maya.

They get T.I, we get M.I.

They get 2-pac, we get 2-face.

They get Beyonce, we get Tiwa Savage

They get Lil wayne, We get Terry G.

They get Timberland, We get DON JAZZY!

They get wiz khalifa, we get wiz kid.

They get Hollywood,we get nollywood

They get Silicon valley, we get Computer
village.

They get Mac Donnalds, we get Mr.Biggs.

They get Las Vegas, we get Lasgidi.

They get Miami Beach, we get Lekki Beach.

They get Al Paccino, we get Peter Edochie.

They get Pirate of d Caribbean, weget
Pirate of Aba.

They get beauty and the beast we get Bianca
and Ojukwu,

They get Mr Bean, we get Mr Ibu,

They get American Lotto, we get Baba Ijebu.

They get obama nd we get olama.

They get luggage,we get ghana must go.

They get air craft, we get witch craft.

They get Bill Gate we get Aliko Dangote

They get obama nd we get olama.

They fear Al Qaeda, we fear Boko Haram

ABEG NAIRALANDERS, ADD YOUR OWN JARE.....

toygod2: hahaha,i wil like try the first

dat means u are anticipating ur death, na tiger, u wan play wit !

Mynd_44: Dying to read this heap of garbage? Nigger please

then why did u view the topic, talk more of commenting on it. You just prove that you are really a saddist.....

Ishilove:
Hahahaha,o no you didn't. You don't want to get into a war of words with me,Mynd_44; you so fuccking don't. You don't know me from anywhere so stay on your fuccking lane and we'll be cool.

You are someone I have always ired on this forum. Don't let that change.

@op. Like I said earlier, the typical Nigerian girl will recognise her talented country men and talk about how hot they are. The typical Nigerian girl will gush about how hot Morris Chestnut, Djimon Hounsou, Taye Briggs-men of colour, are, because psycologically they'll be more attracted to fellow negroes than caucasians. Its a sub-conscious thing.

hahahaha! Dear, u are damn funny, but are u sure all girls will attest to this facts?

Mynd_44: Did you just type hate? Dude I don't even know you so why should I hate you?

i don't mean "personality"
most of your comments i do read on NL are always unappreciative. Some people are dying to read a post like this, if u have seen it before; then no need to comment, just ignore it. I'm sure you are older than me, just be mature and don't always stick your nose in others people's business. Ok

Mynd_44:
He was hoping it will go viral and he would have the bragging rights to it

what's the beef all about ?
If it annoys you, you can also copy and paste. Did i post it for you to be satisfied? Or do you own nairaland ?
If you don't have anything beneficial to contribute, please ignore my posts and get on with your life. What's the hate all about ?

sexkillz: Yes paragraph is my problem. . . And i received this on BB and on Facebook 2 months ago. . . Someone must have "stolen" your "work".

yeah, i saw it also on my Facebook wall too, i wrote it as one of my notes in facebook, check my profile u will see some of my literary posts.

sexkillz: No paragraphs. . . Disadvantage of "copy and paste".

Repost kor Report ni.

I doubt you believe all you even reposted. . .

is paragraph ur problem, for d record, i wrote d piece on my own

GIRLS need to realize this:

Guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we'restill there.
We don't care if a guy calls>OR TEXTS< you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. That it can't wait till the morning. Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me. Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you! dont 'feel bad' We enjoy doing it. It's expected.

Smile and say 'thank you. Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word"handsome'/ 'beautiful' i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/sexy' or whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand i'm not sayin i wouldn't like it ether. Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!!

Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smilewhen you're at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it. Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree. Girls repost this if you thinkit's cute.. Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.

Life is too short to complain about everything that comes your way so stop and smell the roses in life because you might never have another time to take it, so take your time because they are all different in every way, so take chances in life, if it doesn't work out then fine, there are always more roses to smell.

♥ from JOHN OVIE

Man: Lord can I ask you a question?
»GOD: Sure!
»Man: Promise you won't get mad
»GOD: (smiles) I promise
»Man: Why did you let so much annoying stuff happen to me during the week?
»God: What and how do you mean?
»Man: On Monday that I had a board meeting at work...I woke up late, then My car took forever to start! A car that was in good condition a night before.. Got to work late and was given a query!
»GOD: Okay..
»Man: On Wednesday, I was on site, a job that was already late and scheduled to have been through even a week before! RAIN fell all through that day and we couldn't do anything!!!
»GOD: Hmmm...
»Man: On the way home on Thursday, my phone went DEAD without notice, just as I picked upan important call.....A New phone for that matter! Had to make use of public phone to wish Mum Happy birthday.
»GOD: All right
»Man: And above it all off, when I got home on friday...I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right this week! Why did you do that?
»GOD: Let me see, the death Angel was at your bed that Monday morning...You were to walk to theBathroom, slip, knock your head on the ceramic of the bathroom tub and bleed to death!! I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for ur life. I let you sleep through that!
»Man (humbled): OH
»GOD: I didn't let ur car start because there was a drunk driver on ur route that would have hit u if u were on the road...and u would Die Instantly!!!
»Man: (ashamed)...
»GOD: On Wednesday, u were to fall from the 4th floor of that building and die...It has been pre-arranged by the
Angel of death. Had to make a counter plan, u didn't even reach the 3rd floor talk less of the 4th.
»Man: (embarrassed) wow! Ok
»GOD: Ur phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said to her on that call, I didn't even let you talk to her so you would be covered.
»Man: (softly) I see Lord.

ALWAYS PRAY, COS HE ALWAYS HAS A REASON!

tobechi20:

....i said after many appeal(beg, beseech, plead)

don't worry, she will still come to her senses, she will be the one begging later

kennedy olunuga: that quiet impressive , i mean he must have spent soo much time articulating those lyrics but by the way not everbody might like it.

thankz a million!
View my profile, u will see some of my literary piece.

I was walking
around in
a supermarket when i saw a
cashier hand this little boy his
money back, the boy couldn't
have been more than 5 or 6 years
old. The Cashier said,'I'm sorry,
but you don't have enough
money to buy this doll.''The little
boy turned to the old woman next
to him,''Granny, are you sure I
don't have enough money?''She
replied,''You know that you don't
have enough money to buy this
doll, my dear.''Then she asked
him to stay there for just 5
minutes while she went to look
around. She left quickly. The little
boy was still holding the doll in his
hand. Finally, I walked toward him
and I asked him who he wished
to give this doll to.'It's the doll
that my sister loved most and
wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus
would bring it to her.'I replied to
him that maybe Santa Claus would
bring it to her after all, and not to
worry. But he replied to me sadly.
'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to
her where she is now. I have to
give the doll to my mommy so that
she can give it to my sister when
she goes there.'His eyes were so
sad while saying this,'My Sister
has gone to be with God. Daddy
says that Mommy is going to see
God very soon too, so I thought
that she could take the doll with
her to give it to my sister.''My
heart nearly stopped. The little boy
looked up at me and said,'I told
daddy to tell mommy not to go
yet. I need her to wait until I come
back from the mall.'Then he
showed me a very nice photo of
himself. He was laughing. He then
told me'I want mommy to take
my picture with her so she won't
forget me.''I love my mommy and
I wish she didn't have to leave me,
but daddy says that she has to go
to be with my little sister.'Then he
looked again at the doll with sad
eyes, very quietly. I quickly
reached for my wallet and said to
the boy.'Suppose we check again,
just in case you do have enough
money for the doll!''OK'he said,'I
hope I do have enough.'I added
some of my money to his without
him seeing and we started to
count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare
money. The little boy said,'Thank
you God for giving me enough
money!'Then he looked at me
and added,'I asked last night
before I went to sleep for God to
make sure I had enough money
to buy this doll, so that mommy
could give it to my sister. He heard
me!'''I also wanted to have
enough money to buy a white
rose for my mommy, but I didn't
dare to ask God for too much. But
He gave me enough to buy the
doll and a white rose.'''My
mommy loves white roses.'A few
minutes later, the old lady
returned and I left with my
basket. I finished my shopping in
a totally different state of mind
from when I started. I couldn't get
the little boy out of my mind. Then
I ed a local newspaper
article two days ago, which
mentioned a drunk man in a
truck, who hit a car occupied by a
young woman and a little girl. The
little girl died right away and the
mother was left in a critical state.
The family had to decide whether
to pull the plug on the life-
sustaining machine because the
young woman would not be able
to recover from the coma. Was
this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter
with the little boy I read in the
newspaper that the young
woman had ed away. I
couldn't stop myself as I bought a
bunch of white roses and I went
to the funeral home where the
body of the young woman was
for people to see and make last
wishes before her burial. She was
there, in her coffin, holding a
beautiful white rose in her hand
with the photo of the little boy
and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed , feeling
that my life had been changed
forever. The love that the little boy
had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine,
and in a fraction of a second, a
drunk driver had taken all of these away from him.

Now you have two choices:
> Copy and save it. Or
> Just ignore it.

Mr..Cork:
ermm bro, no oofeinsese but with this lyrics...there iz no way on earth you will ever get punnnny!

bro, y will i use dis lyrics to get a punny, haba i mumu lyk dat. Dis is one of my literary piece

My Dear Love, Yesterday, I was
ing by your
rectangular
house in
trigonometric lane.
There I saw you
with
your cute circular
face, conical nose
and spherical eyes,
standing in your
triangular garden.
Before seeing you,
my heart was a null
set,
but when a
vector of
magnitude
(likeness) from
your
eyes at a
deviation of theta
radians made a
tangent to
my heart,
it differentiated.
My love for you is a
quadratic equation
with
real roots,
which only you can
solve by making
good
binary relation
with me. The
cosine of my love
for you
extends to infinity.
I promise that I
should not resolve
you into
partial functions
but if I do so, you
can integrate me
by
applying the limits
from zero to
infinity.
You are as
essential to me as
an element to
a set. The
geometry of my
life revolves
around your
acute personality.
My love, if you do
not meet me at
parabola
restaurant on
date 10 at sunset,
when the sun is
making
an angle of
160 degrees, my
heart would be like
a
solved polynomial
of degree 10. With
love from your
higher
order derivatives
of maxima and
minima, of an
unknown
function.
Yours ever loving,
JØHÑ_JØVÎ3.CØM...

MATHEMATICS FACT>>>
1) THINK of a number.
2) DOUBLE it.
3) ADD six then HALF it.
4) TAKE AWAY the number you
STARTED with.
Your Answer must be = THREE (3)!

3 WAYS To CATCH A TIGER. . .
1- Newton's Method = Allow the tiger to catch you & catch the Tiger.
2- Einstein's Method = Chase the tiger until it becomes tired, then catch it.
3- The Nigeria Police Method = Catch a cat and beat it until it accepts its a tiger.......

ndu_chucks: 10,000 people homeless

Lets hope the President releases emergency funds to help these people and avoid a worse human disaster. Lets also hope that he'll visit the area and give people hope.

i pray so, d figure is damn much!!

CALABAR – A heavy down pour, which resulted in mudslide and flooding in Boki Local Government Area of Cross River State, has destroyed about six villages swept away three thousand farm lands and rendered 10,000 people homeless and economically incapacitated.
The flood also left tourists away to Buanchor Canopy Walk Way and the Drill Ranch in Boki council stranded as it swept away the bridges and culverts leading to the sites.
Over eight culverts and two bridges were completely overwhelmed by the flood and mudslide rendering the only accessible dirt road imible.
The Buanchor Canopy Walk Way of about 30m high, located in the heart of the virgin forest of Boki is the longest in Africa, while the Drill Ranch is for the protection of Drill Monkeys, an endangered animal speciewhich attracts’ hundreds of tourists monthly.
The flood also cut of Boje, the council headquarters from other parts of the area, as one of the major bridges was completely swept away, while the stream which is the only source of drinking water in Katabang community with a population of over nine hundred people was flooded.
The development had led to women and children trekking long distances to fetch water with Jeri cans and basins for domestic use.
Substantial parts of the Afi Mountain Range also slide the valleys bringing down rubles, rocks, and heavy boulders which tore vegetation, houses, bridges and other structures along it’s paths covering over two kilometre radius.
Assessing the disaster, Director General, Cross River State Emergency Management Agency, SEMA, Mr. Vincent Aquah, describedthe magnitude of devastation as unprecedented.
Source: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2012/07/flood-sacks-6-villages-renders-10000-homeless-in-c-river/

MOGUL.O:




Is this a quesion or a joke? cos i can't find any joke around here oooooo

so pls tell me d section, u suggest it to be.

SOMEONE ASK THIS QUESTION, AND IT KEPT US WONDERING!!!!
Is Nigeria A Cemetary?
>When NIGERIANS steal money, they keep it in SWISS BANKS,
>When they’re sick they go to INDIA or ,
>When they want to invest they go to AMERICA,
>When they want to buy mansions they buy in LONDON/CANADA.
>They go to DUBAI for shopping,
>PARIS for holidays.
>When they want to repent- ISREAL OR SAUDI ARABIA.

*But when they DIE they all want to be BURIED in NIGERIA.
So I ask this question ” Is NIGERIA a CEMETARY?

Manchester United is the most valuable franchise in sports at$2.23 billion US, according to Forbes magazine’s annual survey.
The English Premier League team, owned by the same American family that owns the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is ranked on top thanks to lucrative global sponsorship deals.
Second is another soccer team, Real Madrid, at $1.88 billion. The New York Yankees and Dallas Cowboys are tied for third at$1.85 billion.
Rounding out the top five are the Washington Redskins at $1.56 billion.
The Los Angeles Dodgers and New England Patriots are tied for sixth at $1.40 billion, followed by FC Barcelona at $1.31 billion, the New York Giants at $1.30 billion, and Arsenal at $1.29 billion. The Dodgers recently were sold for $2 billion, the most for any professional sports team.
All 32 NFL teams make the list of 50 most valuable franchises, with the Jacksonville Jaguars last among the pro football clubs at$725 million.
Seven major league baseball teams earned spots, with the Texas Rangers the lowest at $674 million, No. 50 overall.
The highest value for an NBA team belongs to the Los Angeles Lakers at $900 million, 35th overall. Only one other NBA franchise, the New York Knicks, make the list with $780 million, No. 43.
No NHL clubs made the survey, but two from Formula One racing were included: Ferrari at $1.1 billion to rank 15th, and McLaren at $800 million.
Source: http://m.?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcompletesportsnigeria.com%2Fnews%2F2012%2F07%2Fforbes-united-worlds-most-valuable-team&h=DAQEmTJbs&enc=AZO_m0FSlsQonV6qSeP-hyp0hjSFN8YTbiubt2jqLpBdz84yOSVwbqfpF0ii-H6nQxEczikRgwoFKAsq8Hw44cKaQPClRmSdpDe1ScdTTCL_hF9s2CF5pwZ9R6C_9csaZeTKFwxXcnYPQ4d1c460RvHk