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Jovie50's Posts 3s1gk

Jovie50's Posts

(16) (of 16 pages)

jovie50: 11:12pm On Sep 26, 2012
WORDS YOU CAN ONLY HEAR FROM AN AVERAGE NIGERIAN !!

1. Insult upon injury
2. Nonsense and Ingredient
3. If I sound u ehh, I will soonslap you
4. How Far?
5. Can I see your particulars?
6. Anything for me sir?
7. Are you mad?
8. Half-caste
9. Next tomorrow
10. Make I come block you dia
11. Lie, Lie
12. See me see trouble oh
13. Shift small for me lemme sit
14. Abeg vamus / Abeg commot
15. Nonsense say wetin happen
16. Abomination
17. Over my dead body
18. God forbid bad thing
19. I need to retouch my (h)air
20. Any word with 'bloody' e.g. bloody fool, bloody liar, bloody idiot
21. Na wa oooo
22. Tell me something
23. Why do you want to knowmy name?
24. Abeg joo
25. Can u imagine.....
26. Wonders shall never end/cease
27. Tofiakwa (and some people feeling janded will sayTUFI!!!!)
28. Chei, Kai
29. Oya me we dey go
30. Hold on lemme branch somewhere
31. Come and Escort Me
32. Stop at that junction overthere
33. Borrow me your pen/biro
34. Still yet
35. Me and you will enter the same tro
36. You are so annoying
37. Why? Because Y has a long tailand branches
38. What is the time? Quarterto buy your own
39. Effico
40. ITK- I too know
41. Muumu
42. How are you? 'We're managing'
43. And so what?
44. I want some assorted biscuits e.g. Rich tea, Digestive
45. Your face look familiar or similiar
46. You are so daft
47. NFA- No future ambition
48. Are you already ready?
49. That is so dry!
50. My belly is full
51. Did they sack you?
52. I trekked all the way here
53. Where is the toilet, I wantto piss
54. I want to drink cold mineral
55. Which ones now?
56. Can u imagine, he was trying to toast me
57. Jacker
58. Your head is not correct
59. Have you seen that film before?
60. Just imagine!
61. My school fees money
62. No wahala!
63. Revise back small
64. Oya, shake body
65. Shine your eye
66. Carry go
67. Don't try me o
68. Enough effizzy
69. Nna, You chop?
70. Ashewo bastard!
71. What happen?
72. We must wash am!

Add your's, Keep it rolling.....
jovie50: 10:10am On Sep 26, 2012
WAM?:
It's the right but difficult thing to do :-(
yeah! mi lady
jovie50: 9:50am On Sep 24, 2012
cindyrella:
Yeah really scary!
I just hope it is not contagious.
grin grin grin
contagious!! Hmmm..... Cindyrella.
jovie50: 9:49am On Sep 24, 2012
fluid26: True, I concur. It is indeed difficult @ first attempt. However, a little discipline and/or distraction can work some magic.

Know that you are only being unfair to yourself chasing/lusting after someone who casts you into oblivion time and again.
guy, u're right on point.
jovie50: 12:39pm On Sep 23, 2012
Mynd_44:
Is it a lie?
nope, i concur.
jovie50: 10:16pm On Sep 22, 2012
Mynd_44: Another heart broken OP. This is getting scary ooooo
hahaha mynd, u're funny!
jovie50: 7:01pm On Sep 22, 2012
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WALK AWAY FROM U.

When people walk away from u let them walk. Don’t talk another person into staying with u,don’t talk another person into loving u, don’t talk another person into calling ,caring about u, coming to see u, don’t talk another person into staying wth u, attach to u, let it go. When people walk away from u let them walk, ur destin is never tie 2 anybody that laughed. People leave u because they are not to u, and if they are not to u, u can’t make them 2 stay, let them go. It doesn’t mean they are bad people, it just mean that their part in the story is over, and u gotto know when the people’s part in the story is over so dat u don’t keep trying to raise the dead, u got to knw when is dead, let it go u got to knw when is over let it go. Stop begging people to stay let them go! If u are holding unto something that doesn’t belongs to u and was never intended 4 ur life then u need to let it go! If u are holding unto past hurts n pains let it go! If sum1 can’t love u back, if sum1 can’t treat u right, if sum1 can’t see ur worth let it go. If sum1 has angered u let it go. If u are holding unto some thought of evil and revenge let it go. If u are involve in a wrong relationship or addiction let it go! If u are holding unto a job dat doesn’t meet ur needs and talent let it go. If u have a bad attitude let it go! If u keep judging others to make urself feel better let it go. If u are struggling wth the healing of a broken relationship let it go. If u keep trying to help sm1 who won’t help themselves let it go! If u are feeling depressed and stressed let it go! Let the past be the past, forget the formal things let it go. Let the past be the past. People leave u because they are not attracted to u, and if they are not attracted to u, u can’t make them stay, let them go. It doesn’t mean they are bad people, it just mean that their part in the story in ur story is over, and u got to know when the people’s part in the story in ur story particular is over so dat u don’t keep trying to raise the dead, u have to let it go and possibly deal with the memory that comes with the heart, the memory that go with that. LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!

1 Like

jovie50: 10:34am On Sep 14, 2012
This is my advice for all Ladies:

I'm sorry If it will
annoy you but it's the Truth, you really have to take correction now. Dear ladies,
Firstly, if you are still
struggling to find a husband at an old age because you are looking for a perfect
man, Something is
wrong with you, Sorry to say that but it's true. Your propaganda
magazine tells you
that 'All men are liars, cheats and useless, but let’s be honest here, which is more likely?. Is it that there’s something wrong with about 70million African men, OR there is something wrong with one African Woman?.

Ladies, you certainly will not get into a blissful matrimony if you are always
hanging out with your
so called girlfriends every night at a beer palour or bar and waiting for a guy to
buy you a drink and take you home. Drinking yourself
to stupor every
Friday and Saturday nights does not exactly make you look like a marriage material.

You want a man?. Invest in a good wardrobe, and dress
responsibly. When a man comes to you, smile and be polite, even if he does not fit
your mental image of your kind of man. Ladies please and please, stop going into a relationship
with a chip on your
shoulder. If you believe all men
are bad and all men are Dogs, then it will become a self fulfilling prophesy.

No man is perfect!.
Even you!. You say
you can't marry a blue collar guy like a mechanic or carpenter.
If a carpenter was
good enough to
marry you, jst go ahead with it if
u forsee any good future prospect in him. why isn't one
good enough for you?. Do not focus on where a man is now,
but look and see where he has the potentials to be.
What’s the point of being beaten to a pulp every night by some rich, good looking and non caring man?. Do you want a future where you will sit in a
traffic in your car with sunglasses covering your swollen
eyes, you look out of the window and see a
happy couple in a Tuk
Tuk holding hands and laughing like newly wedded couple even after 12 years of
marriage. Please don’t fake pregnancy or get
pregnant to trap him.

Your perfect man is out there, believe, work and pray and you will get him.

THINK ABOUT IT!
jovie50: 6:05pm On Sep 13, 2012
okeyxyz: These are not facts. They are Truths. There's a difference. Something can be a fact and yet a lie. I hope you learn how to make your arguments correctly.
ok sir, i will modify it. Thankz bro.
jovie50: 11:39am On Sep 13, 2012
The Perfect Man..”

• Gives Her One of His T-Shirts to
Sleep In,
• Give Her One of His Hoodies;
To Wear so everyone knows
‘She’s Him’s..’
• Leaves Her Cute Text/Notes..♥
• Tells Her; She Looks Beautiful..♥
• Looks Into Her Eyes;
When He Talks to Her..♥
• Lets Her Mess with His Hair..
• Touches Her Hair..
• Just walks around with Her..
• FORGIVES Her for Her MISTAKES..
• Looks at Her Like;
She’s the Only Girl He Sees..♥
• Tickles Her, even when She
Says; Stop..=)
• When She Starts Swearing at
Him,
He Tells Her; He Loves Her..♥
• Lets Her fall Asleep in His
Arms..♥
• Gets Her Mad, then Kisses
Her..:**
• Stays on the Phone With Her;
Even If She’s not Saying
anything..♥
• Teases Her and lets Her Tease
Him back..=)
• Stays up all Night with Her
When She’s Sick..♥
• Watches Her favorite Movie
with Her..♥
• Lets Her Wear His Clothes..=)
• When She’s Sad, Hangs Out
with Her..♥
• Lets Her know; She’s
Important..♥
• Kisses Her in the Pouring
Rain..:**
• When Falls in Love with Her,
Tells Her..♥
• & When He Tells Her,
Loves Her Like He has Never
Loved Someone Before..♥ =)
jovie50: 11:03am On Sep 13, 2012
He is the First and Last, the
Beginning and the End!
He is the keeper of Creation and
the Creator of all!
He is the Architect of the universe and
The Manager of all times.
He always was, He always is, and He always will be....Unmoved, Unchanged,
Undefeated, and never Undone!
He was bruised and brought
healing!
He was pierced and eased pain!
He was persecuted and brought
freedom!
He was dead and brought life!
He is risen and brings power!
He reigns and brings Peace!
The world can't understand him, The armies can't defeat Him,
The schools can't explain Him, and the leaders can't ignore Him.
Herod couldn't kill Him,
The Pharisees couldn't confuse
Him, and The people couldn't hold Him!
Nero couldn't crush Him,
Hitler couldn't silence Him,
The New Age can't replace Him, and
Donahue can't explain Him away!
He is light, love, longevity, and
Lord.
He is goodness, Kindness,
Gentleness, and God.
He is Holy, Righteous, mighty,
powerful, and pure.
His ways are right,
His word is eternal,
His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me.
He is my Redeemer,
He is my Saviour,
He is my guide, and He is my peace!
He is my Joy,
He is my comfort,
He is my Lord, and He rules my life!
I serve Him because His bond is love,
His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life.
I follow Him because He is the wisdom of the wise,
The power of the powerful,
The ancient of days, the ruler of rulers,
The leader of leaders, the
overseer of the overcomers, and The sovereign Lord of all that
was and is and is to come.
And if that seems impressive to
you, try this for size.
His goal is a relationship with ME!
He will never leave me,
Never forsake me,
Never mislead me,
Never forget me,
Never overlook me, and Ever cancel my appointment in
His appointment book!
When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!
When I am afraid, He is my
courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!
When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He
shields me!
When I face problems, He
comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for
me!
When I face Death, He carries me
Home!
He is everything for everybody,
everywhere,
Every time, and every way.
He is God, He is faithful.
I am His, and He is mine!
My Father in heaven can whip the
father of this world.
So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, understand this... He said it and that settles it. God is in control, I am on His side, and
That means all is well with my
soul.
Hit Like if you Love Jesus, if You mean it, write,
Thank You Jesus for Your Loving kindness!

1 Like

jovie50: 7:15pm On Sep 12, 2012
"Be not deceived; God is not
mocked:
for whatsoever a man soweth,
that shall he also reap.
Here are some men and women
who
mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during an
interview with an American
Magazine,
he said:
"Christianity will end, it will disappear.
I do not have to argue about that.
I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his
subjects were too simple. Today
we are
more famous than Him" (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles
were more famous than Jesus
Christ,
was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):
During the Presidential campaign,
he said if he got 500,000 votes from
his
party, not even God would remove
him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got
sick
a day before being made
President,
then he died.

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian
composer,
singer and poet):
During A show in Canecio (Rio de
Janeiro), while smoking his
cigarette,
he puffed out some smoke into
the
air and said: "God, that's for you."
He died at the age of 32 of AIDS ina
horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic:
After the construction of Titanic, a
reporter asked him how safe the
Titanic would be. With an ironic
tone
he said: "Not even God can sink it"
The result: I think you all know what
happened to the Titanic

Marilyn Monroe (Actress):
She was visited by Billy Graham during
a presentation of a show. He said
the Spirit of God had sent him to preach
to her. After hearing what the
Preacher had to say, she said: "I
don't
need your Jesus".
A week later,
she
was found dead in her
apartment .

Bon Scott (Singer):
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one
of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't
stop
me, I'm going down all the way, down
the highway to hell".
On the 19th of February 1980,
Bon Scott was found dead, he had
been
choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends,
drunk, went to pick up a friend.
The mother accompanied her to
the
car and was so worried about the
drunkenness of her friends and
she
said to the daughter holding her
hand, who was already seated in
the
car: "My Daughter, Go With God
And
May He Protect You." She
responded:
"Only If He (God) Travels In The
Trunk,
Cause
Inside Here....It's Already Full "
Hours later, news came by that
they
had been involved in a fatal
accident,
everyone had died, the car could
not
be recognized what type of car it
had
been, but surprisingly, the trunk
was
intact.
The police said there was no way
the
trunk could have remained intact.
To
their surprise, inside the trunk
was a
crate of eggs, none was broken.

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican
Journalist
and entertainer) said the Bible
(Word of God) was the worst book ever
written.
In June 2006 she was found
burnt
beyond recognition in her motor
vehicle.

Many more important people have
forgotten that there is no other
name
that was given so much authority
as
the name of Jesus.

Many have died, but only Jesus
died
and rose again, and he is still alive.
"JESUS"

NOTE:
If it was a joke, you would
have
sent it to everyone. So are you
going
to have courage to send this?
I have done my part, Jesus said "If
you are embarrassed about me, I
will
also be embarrassed about you
before my father."

If you know that God is not to be mocked,
press LIKE and
write,"AMEN" to receive him.

GOD BLESS YOU.
jovie50: 4:34pm On Sep 12, 2012
When a women loves,
She loves with care,

When a women loves,
She's always there,

When a women loves,
She never compares,

When a
women loves,
She loves with a dare,

When a women loves,
She gives her all,

When a women loves,
She takes the fall,

When a
women loves,
She carries your seed,

When a women loves,
She's there to help lead,

When a women loves,
She loves with peace,

When a
women loves,
She uplifts your feet,

When a women loves,
She loves with no reason,

When a women loves,
She brings in a new season,

When a women love, she loves
with all her being.

Pls Respect Her....
jovie50: 8:06am On Sep 06, 2012
Nicki is still a virgin! She is quoted to have said: ”I never gave up my box, I put that on my life”.
Nicki Minaj has carved a niche for herself as being the rap game and really has come far.
According to her, she is yet to popher cherry. She says this on being a virgin: “Yes, and I encourage all my young Barbies to do the same. I just don’t have time.”

source: http://212breakingnews..com/2012/09/im-virgin-nicki-minaj.html

Nairalanders!! What's your say on this?
jovie50: 1:35pm On Sep 02, 2012
Gabriel_sylar: i cried......FOR U!!!!!!!
hahaha! gabriel, u funny die!
jovie50: 11:23am On Sep 02, 2012
Mynd_44: How about where you saw it. Mumu
so now, the link is your problem! Pls i'm sorry! Let this conversation be over!
jovie50: 10:53am On Sep 02, 2012
Mynd_44:
And that will make you what? Look the next time your fingers are itchy and you gel like going viral with something you copied and pasted over the internet, be sensible enough to credit your source.
And don't go calling people f00l dude cos if it gets to it, you can't handle me when I start
didn't u see the heading of the story that says,"I SAW THIS SOMEWHERE" or do u see me claiming any credit!!

1 Like

jovie50: 10:20am On Sep 02, 2012
nikkyshyne:
I love this part. smiley
don't fall a victim of that part o!
jovie50: 9:58am On Sep 02, 2012
Mynd_44:
What credit? He did not come yp this by himself. This nonsense has gone round and has gone extinct.
I first read this three years ago on FB
aya! I pity ur sori face, u saw dis 3 yearz ago and u stil commented! Then u must be a fool!!
jovie50: 9:54am On Sep 02, 2012
val_dee: Op, you no fit lull me to sleep.
hahaha!! but i fit make u cry!
jovie50: 2:50am On Sep 02, 2012
I saw this somewhere:

"A touching love story that might make you cry"

10th Grade :
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'. I stared at her long, silky hair,and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade :
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, So I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year :
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go" well, I didn't have adate, and in 7th grade, we made apromise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as 'best friends'. So we did. That night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. Then she said- "I had the best time,thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Iwant to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation :
A day ed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it wasgraduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Iwant to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Marriage :
Now I sit in the pews of the church.That girl is getting marriednow. and drive off to her new life,married to another man. I wantedher to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Death :
Years ed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to bemy 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
'I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that Idon't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !.

........'I wish I did too'........
I thought to my self, and I cried.
Hit LIKE
and
write,
"I WISH I DID"
jovie50: 3:41pm On Aug 31, 2012
PapaBrowne: Wait. Whats his name again?? I thought Jim Yong and Kim is the name of the president of North Korea who died last year. Like, really who cares!!

Please help me tell him that Rick Ross was in Nigeria last week and we prefer hip hop to the world bank!! Hip hop makes us dance and the world bank brings us debt!

We rather dance than wallow in debt. He should watch the new coca cola advert and take a cue!!
God bless u sir!!!!
jovie50: 9:50am On Aug 06, 2012
Proverb 10:22
"THE BLESSINGS OF THE LORD, MAKETH ONE RICH AND ADDS NO SORROWS WITH IT"
jovie50: 3:53pm On Aug 03, 2012
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no
hard feelings.

2. Nothing improves with age.

3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be
quite the same again.

4. Sex has no calories.

5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it
is going to last.

10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12. Virginity can be cured.

13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't
stand years later.

16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

17. It is always the wrong time of month.

18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22. The younger the better.

23. The game of love is never called off on of darkness.

24. It was not the apple on thetree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the
garden.

25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

26. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

27. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is
nothing exactly like it.

28. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

29. Love is a hole in the heart.

30. If the effort that went in research on the female bosomhad gone into our space
program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

32. Do it only with the best.

33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey
its full meaning.

34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.

35. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

36. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

37. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

38. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

39. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

41. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

42. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; aman, the women he couldn't.

Comment, if u loved this.....
jovie50: 9:09am On Aug 03, 2012
Who get med biochem? Cos i , but mine is not showing
jovie50: 1:02pm On Jul 26, 2012
If you are SINGLE and keep on saying
"I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!"
... your mates are getting
married every Saturday. Let me ask
you, are they marrying spirits or
ghosts? Wise up!

If you are MARRIED and keep
saying "I HATE THIS MARRIAGE!" OK!
Is it not married people like you that
are celebrating Gold, Silver and even
Platinum jubilee?

If you keep on ranting, ''I'M LEAVING MY MAN, HE CHEATED ON ME!" Please,
go to town and see all the fine, cute,
sexy, hot, hungry and desperate chicks
waiting to snatch your man's money
and property, they don't even mind
sharing. Make it work.

My friend! Stop saying "I
HATE MY JOB!" Look! 20 million people
are jobless and can't even find any not
to talk of keeping it!
Do you want to them?

You keep saying "I HATE WHERE I LIVE!" Oh
please! *tears* Try visiting those
locations that are flooding now, people
leaving in tin/zinc shacks in winter or
people living/ sleeping under the
bridge at night and you will be grateful to God that you even have a place to
stay!

Some say "I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE!"
Well, go to the hospital and see people
fighting for their lives! Go to the
mortuary and take a look then tell me what you feel after that!

My point is, be
positive and believe in God, that's all
that matters. AS FAR AS THERE IS LIFE,
THERE IS HOPE.
JUST KEEP TRUSTING IN GOD,
EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT.. GOD'S
GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!!!
jovie50: 11:24pm On Jul 24, 2012
dominique:

never woulda guessed
i saw just d front n back cover of d novel in a bookshop, i avn't read it
jovie50: 7:18pm On Jul 24, 2012
jennyty: There is this guy i have been dating for quite a while now, Tell me the best way i can dump him,
just drink poison!! U will dump him
jovie50: 7:02pm On Jul 24, 2012
Gloriagee: ok, thot it was a movie title. Still new on NL and tryin 2 find my feet...tnx for being a sport kiss
ok dear, no grudges. I'm still around
jovie50: 3:13pm On Jul 24, 2012
U didn't mention, "toy"
no problem with me having ur ID

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