NewStats: 3,263,949 , 8,182,038 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 11:55 PM 2j5h51

ednut1:
like I have said earlier what exactly do you think they can do When you don't know the real facts. What if they even investigate for you and find out he is not married to the lady, they can't force him to communicate or come back to you. Inform your family make una go meet his family to resolve the matter, the marriage in my opinion is over.

But having another lover, while been legally married is Adultery right? And that’s a crime. It won’t be bad if investigations start to get to the bottom of the matter, I might be right or wrong but it would help. I have evidences of my marriage to him and also mails, having a lover while been married is a crime, also emotional trauma that it has caused me as a result of been ghosted. I don’t think there will be any harm trying, at least to get to the root of the matter. I’m human also and I have blood in my veins.

Anndav:



Any which way ....it will be effective...Canada does not want to hear fraud...expecially from someone who wants to migrate .

Some people can be insensitive
Does he think Canada is like samosa forest where you can disappear into
They will fish him out soon
I just hope he can respond before u take any step...
Oyo will be his case o

Please Canadian authorities I can reach out to asides IRCC that can help with the situation on ground.

MayorOfEdmonton:
Hi @Kenn,
Like you correctly said, the bolded is quite extremely difficult...I'm saying this from a married person's perspective.
If for some reason I travel & I dont hear from my spouse all day...I get so worried I may have difficulty focusing on anything. I literally call everyone close to her to ensure she's fine.
So I imagine the OP has been dealing with this and more for months before coming to voice out on nairaland. I have tried all Avenue before coming to Nairaland, I was even hospitalized as a result cause my Blood pressure rose, ghosted I and family no word nothing. It’s very painful to do this to someone you promised forever with and been left in the dark. Please I would really appreciate if I can get the right authorities to reach out to asides IRCC.

@Amakaoyekachi1
There's no need to butter the situation up...
I think one important question u sud ask urself before u decide to do anything is- "are u prepared to live with the unavoidable consequences of whichever decision u make".
If u r REALLY legally married and baba ghosted u for months(hurricane did not strike his school and cell towers close to him), plus u have a mail threatening u to leave ur husband, u have evidences of ur unsuccessful efforts to communicate with him. I honestly think u dont need an handwriting on the wall before u reach out to IRCC. You r his wife not girlfriend!!!....I still have difficulty relating sha(I stand corrected)
Like has been said he will be deported(probably in addition to a failed marriage) unless he has proofs to refute your claims upon examination. Are u willing to live with that consequence??
He likely filled single in his application, did u both agree to this Perhaps he convinced u it's the better option.
I'm sure ur parents know of the situation....what have they done so far?(In d spirit of Nigeria culture)

Ultimately the choice is urs- (i)move on with ur life and leave him to God to judge as most Nigerians do or (ii) reach out to immigration with the evidence u have- being a victim, sit back and see d beauty of western world especially in ing women.
But as before advised....try to reach out to him telling him of ur plans...if he doesnt respond,tell his parents ur plans, if he calls ur bluff den u have given him all opportunity to come back to his senses according to Jesus at Matthew 18.
Cheers
#MyOneCent

MayorOfEdmonton:
Hi @Kenn,
Like you correctly said, the bolded is quite extremely difficult...I'm saying this from a married person's perspective.
If for some reason I travel & I dont hear from my spouse all day...I get so worried I may have difficulty focusing on anything. I literally call everyone close to her to ensure she's fine.
So I imagine the OP has been dealing with this and more for months before coming to voice out on nairaland.

@Amakaoyekachi1
There's no need to butter the situation up...
I think one important question u sud ask urself before u decide to do anything is- "are u prepared to live with the unavoidable consequences of whichever decision u make".
If u r REALLY legally married and baba ghosted u for months(hurricane did not strike his school and cell towers close to him), plus u have a mail threatening u to leave ur husband, u have evidences of ur unsuccessful efforts to communicate with him. I honestly think u dont need an handwriting on the wall before u reach out to IRCC. You r his wife not girlfriend!!!....I still have difficulty relating sha(I stand corrected)
Like has been said he will be deported(probably in addition to a failed marriage) unless he has proofs to refute your claims upon examination. Are u willing to live with that consequence??
He likely filled single in his application, did u both agree to this Perhaps he convinced u it's the better option.
I'm sure ur parents know of the situation....what have they done so far?(In d spirit of Nigeria culture)

Ultimately the choice is urs- (i)move on with ur life and leave him to God to judge as most Nigerians do or (ii) reach out to immigration with the evidence u have- being a victim, sit back and see d beauty of western world especially in ing women.
But as before advised....try to reach out to him telling him of ur plans...if he doesnt respond,tell his parents ur plans, if he calls ur bluff den u have given him all opportunity to come back to his senses according to Jesus at Matthew 18.
Cheers
#MyOneCent

I am his legally and traditionally married wife, not his girlfriend and I am ready to come forth with evidences when the time comes. It’s totally unfair been ghosted on with no communication prior, I don’t even know what is in play. I’m human too and I have feelings, I have dealt with so much these past few months and I think it’s unfair to do this kind of damage to someone, at least if he opened up to me on the situation on ground, rather than ghosting I and my family and his family aren’t saying anything. Everything changed this year

ednut1:
ircc does not handle marital disputes, at this point you can’t establish the real situation too. At this point start looking past this so called marriage. No be marriage be this. It is also your right to Bleep him up too, he deserves it

Thank you so much for your advice, please i need information on the appropriate Canadian authorities I can reach out to asides IRCC, do I have to email them myself or my lawyer should do that?

Kenn55:


That is why I say give him more time to finish school cos once you start, the marriage is good as gone.
If by the end of the next 4 months things don't change, get a lawyer and let him present a case of hostage taking to the Canadian authorities. With the threat emails, you can claim someone has taken him hostage and has prevented you access to him.
When the authorities start investigating, the truth will come out. If he is married or in common law relationship with another woman, the question is how, when he has not divorced you.
If he is not married and he doesn't want the marriage with you, then you end it officially.
At the end of the day, any official step you take will likely end the marriage so you have to be sure that you have gotten to a stage where you are ready to end it

Please I need help with the appropriate Canadian authorities to reach out to asides IRCC, that can help me with my situation at hand. I have enough evidences to back up my claims and my marriage certificate also

Anndav:




Goggle " IRCC how to report fraud and abuse" the website will link you on how to report, needed documents....name, uci no , his address anyone he has ever used is good , his phone no , SIN, and pictures of the wedding and wedding certificate....and all your évidence

Hunnn think over it .. exhaust all avenue to make him retrace his steps and reset him brain tell his family and keep the evidence of all ur attempt to get through to him through them .. because ones u start anything .. it's almost impossible to stop and that will end his bogus dream ...

Canada will always have a soft spot for women

i will try and see if there is a way If we can resolve this, his family aren’t helping matters, been to their house severally, all they said is keep praying and God will help, for how many months will I keep doing that and their son unreachable. It’s so painful, cause I am someone’s child too, at least for anything I shouldn’t be left in the dark. Do I Email IRCC myself or should I employ the services of a lawyer or Human Rights commission in Nigeria.

[quote author=Amakaoyekachi1 post=102370651][/quote] The most painful part of everything is that I was left out in the dark and been worried sick. Please how best can I deal with this situation and get to the fact. Should I involve the authorities, I have been patient for more than 4months no result or anything so far. Everyone is just taking me for a fool. I went through a lot of psychological trauma as a result thinking what could have happened and I was left ghosted on

phabulous88:


Yea you mentioned.
My question is, when did you guys get married? And when did he travel back to Canada?

We got married last year and he went back to Canada last year also.

Kenn55:


It is obvious he has been struggling with finances and school. However, the extent to which it affected his current behavior is still to be determined

I think he unblocks you when he need to send you messages but blocks you afterwards. I think you have enough to build a case and you shouldn't worry about fake divorce documents because it helps your case to deal with him. Thank you so much for this piece of advice, I’ll give it another try by trying to see if I can persuade his family to speak up or if he can fill me on what exactly is going on with him over there, but if there if it still the same response no changes, i just hope it won’t be pushed to the extreme at the end.


I will say give him more time preferably 4 months to finish his school. I know this is difficult but you have to be seen as have done everything humanly possible to remedy the situation before you act. During this period, keep trying to communicate, talk to his parents etc. You can create new profiles and emails to reach him and see if he blocks that one too. Keep documenting the evidences .

It is possible he may realize himself and come back to you or continue in his way. If nothing happens at the end, you can decide how to deal with him.

For someone like me, I give people benefit of doubt and I'm very slow to fight, I make sure I exhaust all options and patience and then when I fight, I fight to destroy, finish and things will never remain the same for the opponent. This is because when I start, even the air we breathe and ground we match will bear me witness that I have tried.

phabulous88:


Let me backtrack, when did you guys get married? How long is his program of study in Canada? When did he travel?

He is meant to finish his program in less than four months from now

YesLadyN:


Red flags everywhere in his actions.

The threatening emails are enough evidence to start an investigation with. He could even be the one sending the emails so you can back off from the marriage and move on. Who knows. Whatever his reasons for going blank on you, he’s being very half-wise and he’s equally jeopardizing his stay in Canada.

If all efforts to reach him have proven abortive, then you can move to plan B in my earlier response to you. So sorry.

You are right he might be the one, I know prior to all these things happening, he was complaining about all the money he makes going to his school fees and he told me he found ways to work more than the stipulated hours assigned to students, I was even worried for him but he told me not to fear that he has everything sorted out and I shouldn’t worry about immigration finding out he worked more hours and he is meant to finish school in less than 4months. Everything automatically changed this year, at least if I am aware of what’s going we would arrive at a common ground, not when I am been left in dark. It’s depressing to be very honest!

Kenn55:


This is what I think.
1. He could have dropped out of school which will make him an illegal immigrant and not qualified for a post graduate work permit. There is no way someone who is a legal student will worry about immigration after school cos there are enough pathways to get permanent residency after school.
If he has dropped out, the only option he has is to try marriage to a citizen to prevent deportation.

2. If he did not drop out, then he never loved you. Probably he is looking for a way out of the marriage and see this as an opportunity to end it. His thinking may be that he can frustrate you to the extent that you quit the marriage on your own.
If this is the case, then I think the confidence to behave this way may be that he filled out he is single during the Visa application.
However what he does not know is that Canada has a soft spot for women and you can finish his career if you have the concrete evidence

But if I may ask, how long has he been in Canada and when did he start acting this way? Was everything good initially?

I have no idea if he has dropped out, but he was always complaining that all the money he makes from working goes to his school fees and he had to also retake some courses. He told me he found ways of working more than the stipulated hours assigned to students, I was even worried that he might get into trouble, but he told me not to worry that there are ways to navigate it without getting into trouble. No he wasn’t like this initially, this whole thing started this year and he is meant to finish school in less than four months. I only have copies of the threatening mails is that enough evidence to build a case? I just want him and his family to come clean to me so I know the best way forward not when I am left in the dark, no communication whatsoever and I am legally and traditionally married to him, I am even more worried what if he has fake divorce documents without my knowledge. I need help honestly, please this is depressing

Kenn55:


This is what I think.
1. He could have dropped out of school which will make him an illegal immigrant and not qualified for a post graduate work permit. There is no way someone who is a legal student will worry about immigration after school cos there are enough pathways to get permanent residency after school.
If he has dropped out, the only option he has is to try marriage to a citizen to prevent deportation.

2. If he did not drop out, then he never loved you. Probably he is looking for a way out of the marriage and see this as an opportunity to end it. His thinking may be that he can frustrate you to the extent that you quit the marriage on your own.
If this is the case, then I think the confidence to behave this way may be that he filled out he is single during the Visa application.
However what he does not know is that Canada has a soft spot for women and you can finish his career if you have the concrete evidence

But if I may ask, how long has he been in Canada and when did he start acting this way? Was everything good initially?

I don’t even know if he has dropped out of school, cause I ed vividly he was always complaining of all the money he makes from working goes to school fees, always complaining about money and he told me he found ways of working more hours than the stipulated 20hours assigned to students, I was even worried he might get into trouble but he told me he knows how to navigate it and he won’t get into trouble. He wasn’t like this oo, everything changed at the beginning of this year. But how do I establish the fact that he has a lady over there? Copies of the mails received enough. I want him or his family to come clean to me on what is going on so I can plan my life also and know what’s next. I am someone’s child too and this is depressing!

YesLadyN:


Sorry about your distressing situation. In all of these, try to keep your head above water. First, gather the evidences that you have that prove the following:
1. The legality of your marriage
2. Your efforts to establish with your husband
3. Lack of communication from your husband
4. The presence of another woman

Then you may do the following:
1. Tell him you want to get a lawyer who would write IRCC about the evidence you’ve gathered. He may call your bluff or he may be forced to reach out to you with explanations. Either ways, this likely won’t address the core of the issue.
2. Consult with your parents to review steps 1-4 above. They may call a family meeting with your in-laws, and depending on how firm/soft your family is, they may find excuses for your husband’s actions, and you may be urged to exercise more patience till he’s done with school (you know how our culture tends to heap the success of a marriage more on the woman). On the other hand, your in-laws may be served an ultimatum.

2. Lawyer up. The evidences will be reviewed and he/she will advise you on further steps to take especially if it’s proven that he is another union. Your lawyer may write to IRCC if marital fraud has occurred, that’s if you wouldn’t mind your husband being deported. Indeed, hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.

3. I hope you still have a marriage.

I wish you peace sis.

Thank you so much for these tips. It’s just actually unfair that something this huge is going on and I and my family are left in the dark and can jeopardize my own future also cause I don’t know what is exactly going on, just at the crossed roads with no communication whatsoever. Which had a great toll me cause I was worried thinking something must have happened especially in a new country. How do I establish he has a partner there, I only have copies of the threatening mails I have been receiving but whenever I try to respond the email/messages doesn’t deliver, I prior to when he stopped communicating with me, he told me to remove his name and pictures on all my social media handles, when I asked him his reasons he told me not to worry, then he went ghost on me!

ednut1:
unfortunately you don't know what exactly is going on, like someone said they may just be live in lovers and not married. Only your husband can tell you what is really going on. The guy self no get sense, he will likely end up in 9ja after all this nonsense unless you move on.

That’s my pain, I wish he can be opened and honest with me and tell me what exactly is going on! I’m even worried he might have even submitted fake divorce documents without my knowledge, I have been quiet for months thinking maybe it’s the struggles abroad and he will be done with school in less than 4months. I just want to know how I can navigate this issue, In order to get the truth and stop been in the dark like I have been for months

Godson213:


My sister I take you as my sister that is why I am telling you the harsh truth. Like I said even if you are legally married to him but with no child he will feel no connection with you anymore. Also he and his family or brother especially would have had a discussion like this. And they or most especially a male figure would have convinced him to move on. Like I said once people don jakpa go abroad it’s a fresh start. Old things have ed away. You start a new education, aquire new certificates that is in line with the country as Nigerian certificates aren’t recognized abroad.

But if you want to track his thoughts and movements, open a new Male Facebook ,put your Facebook location as one staying in Chicago or Texas, put a Texas high school, look for someone who don stay abroad and use his picture as your dp. add some mutual friends of his and his family, put a good profile then send them a request and be chatting them up. Then you tell them you are a old friend of his in school, and that you are in the United States, but lost his . You can chat up older families of his or younger sisters of his because Naija women like anything abroad.

Thank you so much for this advice, I’ll do exactly what you said I should do. I really appreciate your contribution

Anndav:


Canada's authority is not the first
You will run into error
What of if u are wrong and he only has a live in lover and they are not yet married
Do ur finding as I have advised you first

How will I run into an error? I just feel i should be abreast of whatever is going on and carried along regardless of any plan or he would have come out truthfully and let me know what’s going on. I am also worried he might have submitted fake divorce documents without my knowledge.

ednut1:
wahala be like bicycle. He clearly did not fill his marital status in his student visa application for him to have move on with the other lady. Two options- move on with your life, annull the wedding or report him to Canadian authorities ( which means deportation last last).

What if he submitted fake divorce documents to the authorities without my knowledge? That’s one of my fears. I just want to know how I can get to the bottom of all of this! Should I send a mail to IRCC or what?

Godson213:


His family knows about his whereabouts but don’t want to tell you. Because abroad is like a new beginning for people that gets there. You start afresh once you are there. Also you are desperate because you want to jakpa from Naija not because of anything and it’s paining you he didn’t bother to reach you. If you have a child for him you still have a connection even if he remarries but if not OYO is your case

Take me as your sister, at least if I am aware I would know what is going on, not when I am left in a dark. This is not relationship, this is marriage, at least I would be aware of what the issue is and be carried along

Godson213:


His family knows about his whereabouts but don’t want to tell you. Because abroad is like a new beginning for people that gets there. You start afresh once you are there. Also you are desperate because you want to jakpa from Naija not because of anything and it’s paining you he didn’t bother to reach you. If you have a child for him you still have a connection even if he remarries but if not OYO is your case

How will you say I am desperate? I haven’t been in communication with my husband for several months, worried and wondering what it’s going on? At least someone will tell me what the problem is that’s why I came on Nairaland to get information. What do you suggest I do? Cause I am confused, I am legally married to this man, at least someone should be able to brief me on what’s is going on? I am just wondering how possible to be legally married in Nigeria and also in Canada

oluayebenz:


I understand the feelings madam but please be calm with the situation.

We all know your husband is alive and fine over there, be calm and try figure out what the problem is, do not any authorities yet.

I'm sure you won't like to see him got deported

But he hasn’t been communicating with me for months, his parents no information from them. So what do I do?

oluayebenz:


Yes very possible

So what can I do and how do I get to the root of this matter?

Anndav:


his parents... telling them you are about to inform IRCC of his crimes and you don't care what happens...that will set them on the edge ..they will either tell him or try to persuade him themselves u could Inform ur parents too ... something to rat him out
Or talk to someone that is his confidant....
No one is an Ireland....
But did he answer yes to married on his visa application?.....and is dis marriage properly done with parental presence ...dis is one of the things that can help ur case

Yes the marriage was properly done, legally and traditionally. They are evidences to that effect. I am just wondering how possible it is to married in Nigeria legally and also be married in Canada legally. Or did he file for a fake divorce certificate without my knowledge. Please I need directions on how to go about this or the appropriate bodies

Anndav:




him again...and tell him what you want to do
Hear what he has to say
All will mostly be lies Sha
his parents... about what you are about to do ....
His parents are in the know that is why dey are acting up ...then if they don't bulge .....hahahaha there are different ways to kill an animal.
Just make sure you do due diligence.. because we are still Africans and culture is still an important aspect of our life

What steps should I take to make sure I get to the truth of his matter, please I would like to know the different ways to kill an animal in this issue,

Anndav:


S
Dis guys do it
And a lot of life has been mess up
At least his parents is aware of all his dealing so if he is cutting of
He sure has a way of reaching his parents
Tell them u are about to take some steps Pon the matter
First ensure he is really married in Canada Sha ...
Den they will get it across to him

Na him go call you self

What kind of steps should I tell them I want to take? And How do I information, since I am in Nigeria not in Canada and make my husband come clean regarding the information on ground.

Amakaoyekachi1:
His parents are not even saying anything at the moment, telling me to keep playing that they’ve not been able to reach him also but I know it’s a lie, cause their body countenance says other wise, they seem relaxed unlike parents that won’t hear from their child in months. How do I get concrete evidence against him that will make him confess and appropriate authorities to reach out too. He will be done with school in less than 4months.

What are the ways and best approach towards this issue

Anndav:




him again...and tell him what you want to do
Hear what he has to say
All will mostly be lies Sha
his parents... about what you are about to do ....
His parents are in the know that is why dey are acting up ...then if they don't bulge .....hahahaha there are different ways to kill an animal.
Just make sure you do due diligence.. because we are still Africans and culture is still an important aspect of our life

His parents are not even saying anything at the moment, telling me to keep playing that they’ve not been able to reach him also but I know it’s a lie, cause their body countenance says other wise, they seem relaxed unlike parents that won’t hear from their child in months. How do I get concrete evidence against him that will make him confess and appropriate authorities to reach out too. He will be done with school in less than 4months.

Anndav:



Send all ur wedding pic to the lady
Tell ur supposed husband to come out straight.. because if he is married to another woman while he is still married to u
Educate him on how you can actually mess him up by sueing him for bigamy and that can mess him up anywhere in the world.

I tried to send emails but it’s not delivering, what can I do? How is it possible to be legally married in Nigeria and also be married in Canada? How do I get concrete evidence against him since I have not been able to reach him and the right authorities to reach out to. Please help!!

phabulous88:


You already know what's up.
He most likely married the other lady for papers. Important questions though: how long have you guys been married? how did you meet him? Were you guys married before he traveled to Canada for studies?

Two options for you
1. Wait for him to get his PR, divorce the lady and file for you. This is probably going to take between 3 - 4 years. But then, this option might be a problem cos if he wants to file for you in 4 years time, your marriage certificate will show that you have been married for at least 5 years.

2. the lady and let her know. See below. With this option, know that the marriage is over.




Punishment for bigamy is up to 7 years imprisonment
https://scc-csc.lexum.com/scc-csc/scc-csc/en/item/15058/index.do

I Have been quiet for months, wondering what is going on, I tried sending a mail to back but it hasn’t been delivering? Is it possible to be legally married in Nigeria and also marry in Canada, please who are the appropriate authorities I can reach out to. I need help

phabulous88:


Chill and see how it plays out? The lady's life is on hold and you're telling how to chill? Chill for how long?

please what can I do? How do I navigate this situation or involve the appropriate authorities! This is unfair honestly, at least in a situation like this I would have been carried along in the plan rather than been ghosted like I don’t exist. This is my legally married husband and I have been calm for so long. But I am wondering how possible it is to be legally married in Nigeria and been married in Canada

phabulous88:


You already know what's up.
He most likely married the other lady for papers. Important questions though: how long have you guys been married? how did you meet him? Were you guys married before he traveled to Canada for studies?

Two options for you
1. Wait for him to get his PR, divorce the lady and file for you. This is probably going to take between 3 - 4 years. But then, this option might be a problem cos if he wants to file for you in 4 years time, your marriage certificate will show that you have been married for at least 5 years.

2. the lady and let her know. See below. With this option, know that the marriage is over.

Punishment for bigamy is up to 7 years imprisonment
https://scc-csc.lexum.com/scc-csc/scc-csc/en/item/15058/index.do

We are legally married under the Nigerian court of law and also traditionally. I tried to send an email back to the lady but the mail has been bouncing back. Please what can I do as regards to involving the law cause I want the law to take justice, what do I do. Is it possible to get married to someone in Canada, while you are legally married to someone in Nigeria? Please I do I go about this, I need help in navigating this situation.