NewStats: 3,262,881 , 8,178,452 topics. Date: Tuesday, 03 June 2025 at 10:15 PM 4y341b

Kobojunkie:
Mental illness has to do with a conditioning of the mind? Are you folks for real?

Get medical help before it's too late.

You may need to reconsider your stance on both marriage and child bearing.

Jesus is the answer for the world today
Above Him, there is no other.
Jesus is the way

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

Can i have your email to you to point you to the necessary help you might need?

You are doomed for life

Olufemiolaolu:
Get medical help before it's too late.

Again....Mental illness has to do with a conditioning of the mind? Are you folks for real?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

See a therapist pls

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

My simple Advice for you...
Get these two books online, read and meditate on it
(1)Mind Hacking
(2) The power of your subconscious mind

Finally, as a believer, I feel you're under a psychic or spiritual attack.
You really need to be aligned to the DIVINE PATTERN for you . In Christ Jesus you'll have this done alone.
Be careful of your WORDS you speak about your life, not having kids.
you're what you THINK and what you SAY continually.
Lastly, value your WOMB, having kids are amazing
But you must be prepared to teach me right .
Your investment on people, whether kids or anyone else is essential for ya old age.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

Congratulations

Ooo foolish women of our generation!! Every man want to hear no child in dating! They will sample and go! After all no belle! We men have financial clock and you women have a Biological clock! If u like Mumu your self in the name of mental health! Any man or woman without Jesus will be frustrated! Your mental cure is living a righteous life and holiness!! Ask Genevieve she will tell u; she has all the money but over thinking one kill her in the name of mental health! A word is enough for the fool and non is required by the wise

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

Don't worry en the world doesn't need you to get married or have children

Dannywayne21:

Finally, as a believer, I feel you're under a psychic or spiritual attack.
You really need to be aligned to the DIVINE PATTERN for you . In Christ Jesus you'll have this done alone.
Be careful of your WORDS you speak about your life, not having kids.
you're what you THINK and what you SAY continually.
Lastly, value your WOMB, having kids are amazing
But you must be prepared to teach me right .
Your investment on people, whether kids or anyone else is essential for ya old age.

Please stop using the name of Jesus Christ to perpetrate what are lies that have absolutely nothing to do with Him.

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zakkxx:
Ooo foolish women of our generation!! Every man want to hear no child in dating! They will sample and go! After all no belle! We men have financial clock and you women have a Biological clock! If u like Mumu your self in the name of mental health! Any man or woman without Jesus will be frustrated! Your mental cure is living a righteous life and holiness!! Ask Genevieve she will tell u; she has all the money but over thinking one kill her in the name of mental health! A word is enough for the fool and non is required by the wise

Please stop using the name of God to propagate what are your personal delusions.

Your concerns are valid and originate from a logical point of view. If many people thought along these lines, I think we would have a better society to live in.

Your decision to not have kids is relative to you, because the ability and capacity to raise and nurture them is yours alone. You have realised this sooner and somehow, this is also a contributing factor to your depression. However, I fear that you long to have children because you feel it would solve the issue of loneliness when you're older and of a retirement age.

Let's face it, most old people either end up alone or abandoned. This is not because the kids are mean or heartless, it's because they actually have a life of their own to live i.e working on creating their own future which given the present state of the economy may not include their parents.

So, if you choose to have kids, do it because you want to enjoy the process of being a parent and enabling your child to be able to survive with or without you and not because you want them to fill that void you called loneliness, you'll end up more depressed than ever.

P.S if you want to have peace in any form, you have to unlearn what you have been taught and these include all the problems you've listed above. Your depression stems from all that and more.

If you are diagnosed with these mental issues, am sure same doctor would give you treatment
Not really sure mental issues need advise
However if it's your thoughts that you have mental health issues, you may be self deluding and probably don't need to believe and trust your thoughts

Marriage and kids solves depression or such cases you mentioned provided you make a good choice of partner that can handle your emotional and mental states

I am a psychologist and I dont really think you have a problem.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

You haven't experience a true , selfless ,natural, sacrificial romantic love

My dear ♥ conquers all

Experience it and the emotional instability will fissile out

How many times una wan bring this thing come FP

Vulcan24:
Marriage and kids solves depression or such cases you mentioned provided you make a good choice of partner that can handle your emotional and mental states

I am a psychologist and I dont really think you have a problem.

A psychologist stating that marriage and kids are solutions for depression?

Dear that every problem or sickness has a cure or solution,the Issue here is having the mind set that you can still get married and have kids,as it stands now you really need someone or a specialist, moreover you can still me ok

[quote author=Kobojunkie post=113011728] She should take on additional stressor to overburden her already burdened mind, that is your idea of a normal life?

It seems God's wisdom eludes you there. [/quote

It only depends on what you perceive as wisdom.
For me, it is the sound application of the knowledge of God.

Until u know the ways of God,u can't be a commander of life bugging issues.

Life is spiritual. Hence control's our physical life experiences.

Sixthsense2021:
It only depends on what you perceive as wisdom.
For me, it is the sound application of the knowledge of God.
Until u know the ways of God,u can't be a commander of life bugging issues.
Life is spiritual. Hence control's our physical life experiences.

I perceive wisdom as that that aligns with commonsense and none of what you said aligns with it.

I know God enough to know that what you claimed amounts to bullsheet where God is concerned.

Kobojunkie:
A psychologist stating that marriage and kids are solutions for depression?

Within this context, the subject mentioned marriage and kids as the object of fear
I'm general I would have mentioned companion but that's half way to the truth of the actual solution

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

That’s a wrong move.
Don’t allow the circumstances or challenges of life to mislead you in to your thinking right now.

Go see psychologist.

Vulcan24:
Within this context, the subject mentioned marriage and kids as the object of fear
I'm general I would have mentioned companion but that's half way to the truth of the actual solution

Object of what fear?

She expressly indicated she would rather forego marriage and kids because of her struggles with clinical depression, and anxiety. Why would any one suggest marriage and kids as solution to her situation, let alone a one who claims to be a professional in the field?

Reach out to me for help

https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7129967/woman-decided-im-never-getting