NewStats: 3,264,654 , 8,184,351 topics. Date: Wednesday, 11 June 2025 at 09:24 PM yk1j

That's a youth corper's belt around the first AK. Might mean something or maybe not.

Full translation:

Let the mouse in the house hear and tell the ones in the farm that all you residents around Kelebe will very shortly, receive visitors who are of the “Blood Wasters Cult” during the unholy hours of the night. Our cult is coming to collect what is rightfully ours that is currently in your possession such as money, or valuables that can be quickly converted into cold hard cash.

We are not scared of anyone who believes they can face us in combat because they have fortified themselves with “Jazz” such as “Ayeta” or “Ajabo”. However, let such people know that we too stand extremely gallant. Anybody that does not cooperate with us, our cult is prepared to waste the person’s blood in full accordance with our moniker. However, anyone that gently hands over what is rightfully ours, only that person will enjoy the rest of his/her life in good health. The Names of the of our five-man cult are:

1. Kogberegbe (I have no idea what this means)
2. Mujemuje (Blood sucker)
3. Dunbue (Cut it into pieces)
4. Akeeke Ati (Scorpion)
5. Salaake (Cut it with the Axe)

To anyone that thinks this is just an empty threat, we say go and enquire in areas we have wreaked havoc in the past such as: Oke-Baale, Agoinande, Ainosuuru, Oke-Onitii, all the way to Ikirun and Ibokun. We wish you happy Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance.

Where is the bitten tip?

We are waiting for their singles.

Refund from where exactly? her personal ? under her bed? inside her wardrobe? This lady is gradually coming to with what is coming. Better fire!

How is that guy still standing?

Kurosaki Ichigo - Bleach

Booty4me: Booty4me: THE ILLUMATI PUT THE
SOUL MICROCHIP IN
OUR LAPTOP MOUSE PAD TO BE
SUCKING OUR BLOOD FOR
OBAMA. WE CAN NEVER USE
ANOTHER OBJECT TO MOVE THE
MOUSE
AROUND THE SCREEN. WHY? NOW
OBAMA IS
HAPPY. IT WILL NOT BE WELL WITH
THEM.
THE 77 SINGS WITH JOY. I HATE
THEM TOO.
HELP!!!

Hahahaha WTF man?

7842I: I woke up by 2 am and sneaked into the bathroom, wore the special red robe I arranged with a white skull painted on the front and brought out red candles and incense and started burning them in the bedroom, I threw a pillow at her head and started shaking when she woke up, I had a machete in my right hand as I was approaching the bed where she lay.

Suddenly I started sobbing and confessing to her that I cannot kill her, that I ed a new secret cult and they asked my to bring the head of my most loved girlfriend. She ran out with her underwear and slept in the next flat till morning, she has never came back to collect her clothes and handbag ever since........... she also changed her phone number...........

Hahahahaaaa! Bros I swear u no well at all! I've seen lots of break-up antics in my time, but ur own na im bad ! How did u even think it up? Na so u hate the girl?

Babzilla:
& THEY WILL KEEP TELLING U 2 COME BACK 2MORROW. IF U WANT UR MONEY U HAVE TO TURN PSYCHO ON THEM. CREATE A SCENE
ON THAT DAY MAKE SURE U DONT
TAKE A BATH
WEAR RUMPLED CLOTHES-SLEEP IN UR CLOTHES IF POSSIBLE
DONT BRUSH UR TEETH- SO UR BREATH IS FOUL; THEY WONT WANT TO SPEAK 4 LONG COS OF THE STENCH* EAT LOTS OF GARLIC PRIOR TO THE VISIT
WEAR A PAIR OF FCKED UP FLIP FLOPS (BATHROOM SLIPPERS)
THEN ONCE U ENTER THE BANKING HALL, RUDELY DEMAND 4 UR MONEY IF THEY SAY COME TOMORROW, START BELLOWING AND ACTING CRAZY
BE VERY VERY RUDE; NO GOOD MORNING NO NICETIES. IF THEY GREET DONT ANSWER
IF POSSIBLE HOOK UP WITH A FEW AGGRIEVED CUSTOMERS AND START A MINI REVOLUTION SCREAMING AND ISSUING THREATS.

I GUARANTEE U UR MONEY WILL BE REFUNDED WITHIN 12 HRS


ALTERNATIVELY U CAN GET SOME ANIMAL SKINS AND CHALK AND DRESS LIKE A BABALAWO
CARRY A WHITE CHICKEN IN UR RIGHT HAND AND A COW HORN IN UR LEFT THEN MARCH IN2 THE BANKING HALL-BAREFOOT
RUDELY DEMAND 4 UR MONEY.

LWKMD. Bros na wah o!. Your sense of humor and imagination's top notch!!!

doofanc: . . . As I speak to you, two to three persons have paid N100,000 fine each while others have decided not to throw away such amount of money by involving themselves in any proven case of adultery that threatens their marriages.

The unproven ones nko? Moral of the story: Don't get caught.

adexsimply: thought u ve read harry potter(3) prisoner of azkaban..buckbeak the hippogriff

Haaaa! That's the thing ehn? I wonder if it tastes like chicken. I the creature from the movies (but not the name). I learnt another new thing today... thanks mate.

adexsimply: u don chop HIPPOGRIFF b4?

Wetin be that abeg? Na another mythical creature? If it is, na for chop.

Naija people no send o, even if na unicorn or dragon na him show like that, we go chop am!

Our very own "Moriaty"... We should be proud.

Hello Ikenna351,

I’ve silently followed this thread over time and the level of expertise and technical know-how you exhibit is simply amazing.

Now, here's my problem: My 2002 (Pininfarina) 406 Coupe is a beautiful car that corners like a rabbit. Problem is, there's a grinding noise in the engine compartment whenever i throttle hard. I took the car to a mechanic in APO and he said something about the piston and the "top engine". Needless to say, i took the car back home and i've stopped using it since then.

I know you need more information to help me determine what's actually wrong with the car, what caused it and how to go about fixing it. I'll be happy to bring the car to you.

Thanks

buzugee: : thats how i know the pilot was not nigerian. if the pilot was nigerian his last words to air traffick control will be ' mogbeooooooooooooo egbamiiiiiiiiii ooooooooooooooo motikerannnnnnnnn yeapaaaaaaaaaaripaaaaaaa. mokuoooooooooo heleppppp me pleaseeeee ejoooooooooooo '

they are all in a better place at rest ( ecclesiastes 12 vs 7 )

Walahi u no well. I tried so hard not to laugh, but i failed.

sopapa: @ akason: I'm currently in my 3rd Module International Management (Oil and Gas Track) University of Liverpool. The fees are not cheap (app $19,000; depending on your payment plan) and its accredited worldwide. In my class, I have CEOs and Managing Directors of Multinationals as classmates and we interact through a forum quite like this (its called a blackboard). If you want to learn, go to the schools website http://www.liv.ac.uk/study/online/ and request a call back. If you just want a degree without working hard, look elsewhere because when you start,you will see your assignments in your dreams...

^^^^^
Hahahaa. Very funny, but very true. University of Liverpool, Information Systems Management, (6th Module and final core course). I have 2 electives left before my dissertation. After this, I'm going on a loooooooooong vacation. This program has taken over my life completely. To those who say it's a blue milk run, I challenge you to enroll and let us observe your grades and how much sleep you get after your first module.

wiseguy: Easy Says who? Online degree is the most difficult. More difficult than being on campus. You wont understand till you start one. Very stressful. Infact forget about all the Owambe's by the time you start and pray to Almighty to give you the courage and determination to finish + make good grades. If you say its easy then you don't know exactly what it is. I am saying from experience. And its fully recognized both at home and abroad.

^^^^^^^^

Thank you my brother. December can't come fast enough for me. I can't the last time I had a 3-hour stretch sleep.

vikas11233: I think online degree is [/b]comes without or less studies[b],it's a gift from some universities as you give fees to them.

Don't make me laugh! Start one and let's observe the following: (1). The hours of sleep you get in a day (2). Your grades.

@OP. Online degrees are very much recognized because there is no difference between the certificate you are presented with and that of the student that was actually on campus. -Absolutely none. In fact, you guys will attend the same graduation ceremony. But i do have to warn you. It's extremely stressful (especially if you have a full-time job) and it's not for the faint-hearted. It’s for disciplined people who are focused on an objective because you can easily lose track of yourself because of its flexibility.
It takes about 18-25 months.

I wish you the best.

You can't! what's a Leopard without it's spots?

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A lot of daddies and mummies with zero attention span at the moment.

knotty: If the story had ended there, sad as it would have been, not much lessons would have been learnt.

LAGOON HOSPITAL

The other person that died was someone I knew ingly.
He was hit on the back and did not die on the spot. He held on to life, as though his life depended on it, of course, it did.

His friends around were able to spirit him to LAGOON HOSPITAL, a distance of 500meters away. Seeing his condition, the hospital hurriedly itted and put him on oxygen. His friends at this point were relieved and in high spirit that JAGABAN was going to pull through, once again. They never knew LAGOON HOSPITAL takes care of the bare necessities and not a penny more, not a penny less.

The hope of survival dimmed when in no time LAGOON HOSPTITAL flashed a deposit bill of 1.3m on the friends, on a Sunday morning. The terse message was pay this deposit before further treatment can be istered. In a cashless Lagos, and on a Sunday how were they, in Jove,s name, going to raise that kind of money.
Well, they scurried hither thither and raised 800,000 which was paid to the Hospital. That money did not touch the right cord, it did not melt their hardened heart. All or nothing was their stance.

The friends were still running from pillar to post to raise the balance 500,000 when the man died at 6pm right in the hospital without receiving Panadol Extra.
When the family requested that the deposited 800,000 should be returned since they did not provide any treatment, LAGOON HOSPITAL reminded them that on the receipt issued to them is a clause: ANY MONEY PAID TO THIS HOSPITAL IS NON-REFUNDABLE.

Ha! iya won!!! That hospital will burn!!! 800k just like that. Abeg pay me my money!!!

Violent:
Senator Mark surely understands that there are more than a thousand hospitals in Nigeria and equally likely many thousands of home trained medical experts that could attend to his flagging health. Why travel to Israel?

...ah of cos, none of these hospitals are adequately equipped and perhaps even more frightening is the fact that the local medical experts are under-trained, overworked and underpaid miserable fellows.

Senator Mark doesn't have an incentive to fix this terrible mess even though his office carries enough influence to effect the much needed change....Senator Mark and his family could always jet off to Israel or the United States, the rest of us Nigerians should make do with the terrible medical facilities and frustrated doctors.

In as much as i really want to, It's difficult for me to wish Senator Mark a prompt recovery. I respect more, people who can put their money where their mouth is. If you don't have enough faith in the Medical system after four years of being a Senate President, the individual deserves to be hanged by the balls and his dead body shot for being a miserable failure

Violent, Thank you so much!

Jawn: I will take everything to a brothel, give it to one ashawo as a down payment for everyday sex till I die

^^^
Best post ever! LMAO

Get help.

LMAO

I'll say leave android alone and go for a Windows Phone 7.

I've been using the HTC HD7 for close to two years now and it has never frozen up on me.

What an amazing device!

Bawss1:

This calls for deep introspection if we as a people will honor what every thinking individual will call carelessness. Is it the desire to come across as patriotic that informs this thread or that we refuse to learn from our mistakes?

The police officer has ed on in a manner that can be best described as needless and reckless. If any honor is to be attached to this incident it is that we learn not to repeat such folly. All other talks are either hypocritical or aimed at stirring weak sentiments which serve no noble purpose.

^^^^^^
THANK YOU SO MUCH!