NewStats: 3,263,793 , 8,181,421 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 11:05 PM 5y2l1j

Gbelo, gbebo, gbesi!

You would certainly think that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest. This is not really accurate. At least not in the way you might think.

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

“If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being average financially, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was average?”

You Know the Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal?

Now when men hear this some are likely to say, “That’s right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money.” In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with money that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, “It isn’t that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he has the potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable.” In fact, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially.

This same standard applies to men. If given the choice between a woman whom they believe is very attractive, or one who appears to take no interest in her appearance, they will choose the attractive one. This doesn’t mean that they will only consider a woman who is striking. Take a look at most married men and you will see that plenty of women who would not be considered “perfect” have husbands who choose to marry them.

Why would this be? The answer is that the quality of being authentic is actually more potent in the arena of love than perfection. A woman who is good at practicing the courage to be imperfect will always be more endearing to men than one who rarely if ever discloses her imperfections. Being authentic causes a woman to act in such a manner that is enchanting.

This woman is well aware that she has issues (don’t we all) and yet, she understands the balance between improving herself and being comfortable with where she is currently in her life. She doesn’t work hard at convincing others (i.e. men) that she is perfect. Rather she is very attune to the needs of her heart, and takes full responsibility for meeting those needs.

A number of people no longer see the need to sacrifice in a relationship.Self interest has taken over but relationships ain't getting any better these days with the ever so rampant pick and dump of today.How much of sacrifice would you make to make a serious relationship work?

Evaluate your feelings for that individual with this synopsis. Is it lust(infatuation) or love?

Infatuation:

Develops rather rapidly

Based on limited characteristics

Based on the emotion itself

Is self-centered

Is multi-person centered

Changes rapidly

Loses touch with reality

Largely outward or physical

Insecure/Insecurities

Jealous/Possessiveness


Love:

Is grown into

Based on the whole person

Focuses on the person with whom you are involved

Is other-centered

Demonstrates a deep commitment to one person

Is a gradual development

Maintains balance of life and priorities

Involves the total relationship

Secure/Security

Trust/Faith

@poster, did you say your boyfriend "dumbed" you?I wonder what these teenagers are getting on to these days.So nairaland's where you seek solace after you've been dumped.No one's gonna eat the stale food that you are, okay?C'mon, you're still gonna be chucked in the trash can over and over again until you change your attitude after which you might be lucky to get even an ugly guy.Can't even spell "dumped" correctly.Why won't any bloke dump you when your mouth runs around like a river full of toxins and your physical features fucking twisted?Hey louse, cut your losses and bow out in shame?

@poster, I hate to zip words with slacks like you and don't need to prove any point except that you're a mishmash of physical confusion.But since you don't seem to have any smidgen of home training and true self-worth, I'll teach you.The jacket came from the cool House of Fraiser if you ever know what that means.To be honest with you, you've been thinking with your pussy and so can't figure out that some blokes here are made and good looking.And as such you don't come here and say freak about guys on Nairaland being ugly.There're good looking and well made blokes here who wouldn't blink an eye for the shit you call beauty.You're a real lice and you lack the x-factor.

@poster, what kinda cheeky, sleazy floozie bimbo are you?There're better girls in the villages in Africa than this crap of yours you call beauty.If I see your kind on the roadside, my Bentley's alarm would go off.It's only cheap blokes that'll flash your punk ass.

@poster, shut the fuckup.You sound like your thick skull's full of beer.It's a pity you can't figure out what your unfounded pride's doing to you.

How risky or otherwise is it building your life around a woman?

@poster, seems you don't understand the meaning of beauty and being cute.A thorough diagnosis of your face suggests you need a nasal and lips transplant.Your nose is a big turn off, looks so odd, outta place and unappealing!

Relationships come and go, it is a normal part of life. While relationships can be great sometimes they have to come to an end which can leave one person or the other with a broken heart. Sometimes the break ups can seem to come out of no where which not only leaves us with a broken heart but also stumbling to regain our composure after being knocked down. How does one get over that ex boyfriend or girlfriend? How can a person move on with life? How does a person get over a broken heart?

First and foremost, keep your thoughts positive. While a broken heart may hurt never think that your life is over. A lot of people go through this everyday. You are not alone.

After a break up always implement the NC (No ) rule. It is best to end your relationship with a clean and simple break. Speaking and/or seeing each other after a break up only helps to prolong the heart break.

Reconnect with old friends. Sometimes during a relationship we forget about our friends. Start talking to as many of your friends as you can. Chances are they have been through the same thing and might be able to offer some advice. Go out and have fun. Hanging out with old friends is a great way to get your mind off of your ex.

Keep yourself busy. Try starting up some old hobbies or finding new ones. Whatever keeps your mind off thinking about your ex. Hobbies are great tools because they keep your mind busy and occupied.

Try going to the local gym. Who would have ever thought working out would help you get over a broken heart? Not only does working out make you feel good about yourself it is a good way to let off a little steam. Not to mention you may see your ex again someday and you will want to look your best. If you can't afford a local gym hip try jogging. You can jog around the house or at a local park either way will help you release some frustration and burn some calories.

Go to your local bookstore and pick up something on the best sellers list. There is nothing like a good book to take a persons mind off of other things going on. Books can be useful in a breakup because they allow you to escape reality briefly and visit someone else's world.

Once you have had the proper amount of grieving time then it is time to get back into the dating scene. Start slow and don't jump in head first. You don't want to rush anything.

While a broken heart can hurt pretty bad just , this isn't the end of the world. Keep your head up and your mind off of your ex and you should come out of it with flying colors.

Can't believe you blokes saying all this crap.Guys how're you ever gonna be pleased?If a lady says how she feels 'bout you, you say she's cheap.If she puts up a bold front, you say she's playing hard to get.What the freak 'bout talking from both sides of your mouths!

Romantic relationships are seldom what they seem. We all want a relationship that is built on openness, intimacy, and trust, but the truth is, our relationships do not always work that way. More often than not, intimate relationships involve secrecy and deceit. In fact, if you want to look for deception and betrayal in your own life, the best place to start is close to home. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, often lie about their true feelings for each other, the feelings they have for others, and their level of commitment. Indeed, it is safe to say that people save their biggest and most serious lies for those they love.

For better or worse, our romantic relationships are full of paradoxes which we try to overlook, downplay and ignore. For the most part, this strategy works well. Until the day comes when it doesn't, and with little warning or preparation we have to confront face-on the reality that our close relationships are not exactly what they appear to be.

Eventually, almost everyone will catch a spouse or partner in one of their lies. Inevitably, we have a difficult time coping with what we have learned and dealing with the fact that someone close has betrayed our trust. We do not expect our partners to mislead us, nor do we have insight into how and why deception occurs.

In fairness, it should also be mentioned that it is just as likely that a partner or spouse will catch you in one of your own attempts to deceive. And ironically, we are just as unprepared to deal with this kind of situation.

Ignoring the paradoxes inherent in romantic relationships turns out to be a costly strategy and most people pay the price for this decision, unexpectedly, and all at once. It’s not so much that coming to with the use of deception in romantic relationships will solve all of the problems you are going to encounter, but it will certainty help to reduce the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty that occur when deception eventually comes to light.

When it comes to love and romance, most of the things we believe, turn out not to be true. Most people believe that all of their marital or relational problems can be solved through “communication.” We also believe that deception is difficult to achieve, that misleading a partner requires a lot of effort and thought, and that romantic partners can tell when a lover is lying, and so on. None of these widely held beliefs, however, are ed by the evidence. Rather, our romantic relationships are held together by a delicate balance of both candor and deceit. And both are critical to making our intimate relationships work.

Romantic relationships entail two important features which allow deception to flourish: abundant opportunity, as well as the need to deceive. As we get close to another person, we intentionally and unintentionally provide them with a great deal of information about who we are, revealing ourselves through both our words and deeds. Creating this kind of intimacy or shared knowledge is critical, as it serves as the foundation for a lot of important rewards. Through our close relationships, we create gains with respect to our health, wealth, and emotional well-being.

Because relationships provide so many important rewards, it should come as no surprise that people are inclined to view their romantic partners in a positive light. We place a lot of trust in our romantic partners. We think we know them well. But while our trust surely provides us with a sense of security and comfort, it also lays the ground for deceit. For as we trust our partners more, we also become more confident but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told.

Being single and happy with it requires confidence in yourself and your ability to keep a job, pay your own bills, entertain yourself, interact with family and friends as well as find satisfaction with your accomplishments and lifestyle. Over time, it becomes easier to reach those goals without seeking the approval or help of another person without the heartbreaks that are so pervasive in today's world.

The benefits of being in a relationship include having someone around to keep you company, share events of your day, give when times are tough, and fulfill the need for a human touch, whether that be a hug or sex. When you start feeling sorry that you're not in a relationship, you a partner who's hard to please, never satisfied with all you do, snooped in your e-mail, followed you around like a puppy, and subtly tried to control you whether you the male or the female. It would take quite an effort to find someone willing to put up with all your quirks and who could measure up to all the things you would require from a relationship.

After some time of being alone, you ask yourself if you're willing to change aspects of your life to accommodate another person. A relationship requires ability to another person, a willingness to compromise, share the closet and the bathroom etc. It means letting the other person know your schedule, finance, going to bed early enough that you don't interfere with the other person's ability to sleep and get up for work.

You like being able to get up in the morning, sitting in the quiet drinking coffee and checking your e-mail, fixing breakfast if and when you get around to it. You like making your own decisions, without consulting another person about how much money you can spend or what television show to watch. You like filling the closet full of clothes without having to share your limited space. You like eating the foods you like without worrying about someone else's preferences. You like visiting your family whenever you want, or being a hermit when you feel like it. Being single definitely has its benefits, yeah?

D'banj is too smart to spend a dime on such a show.Truth is he's partnered with a Nigerian bank to fund the show with the sole aim of making money off floozies, bimbos and zombies in Nigeria.With a form selling for between 5,000 and 10,000 naira and a projected subscription of 10,000 Nigerian applicants, the cash flow is likely to be in the region of 50 to 100 million naira from which the bank would recoup it's investment and the net shared in a predetermined ratio.Out of the 10,000 applicants, only about 20 will eventually be taken and that after the girls have gone through several sessions of pussy and booby screening among other things.What goes around comes around so if you're expecting to get something for nothing then you're only kidding yourself.

Considering the "grab" what you can mentality in the homeland called Nigeria, I wouldn't encourage any bloke allow their female partners to participate in that kinda show.Most hip hop musicians in Nigeria are sex insatiable cheeky bastards who would do anything to take advantage of brainless machines that some Nigerian ladies are.I really don't believe you have to prove that you're a wife material by engaging in that kinda show except you're ready to cut your nose to spite your face.From what I know 'bout D'Banj and his crew, no girl humps around them and won't get screwed.Emphatically speaking, there's no free lunch with most Nigerian musicians.If you eventually win, you'll get paid from the money they raked in from other applicants and still get bleeped.You sure will be compelled to do their bidding whether you like it or not.For the unscrupulous girls, it's your show cause you gonna be bleeped by a local music star and his niggers but for those who hold themselves in high esteem and have some self-worth don't even go near.

Relationships go all bunkers sometimes especially when a partner feels he or she's not maximizing his or her vested interest in the relationship.However, it beats my ken when a partner catches the other cheating and sometimes in the very act and the first sentence the cheating partner belches out in a scenario like this is "it's not what you think"?Why and what's the meaning?

Why do women cheat? The simple answer is because they hurt. They have pain related to loneliness, the rejection and betrayal of a cheating partner, an unexciting and unsatisfactory relationship, or feeling poorly about themselves.

Why do women cheat? Because of emotional needs not met and the hurt that accompanies this lack. Is it sometimes just physical lust? Occasionally, but I do not see much of this.

Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs or are susceptible to advances. Women who are in an unsatisfactory relationship may feel even lonelier than if they were still single. A partner who is over involved with his work or hobby may severely limit the attention and iration he gives to his mate.

She then feels unattractive, uncared for, and hopeless about getting her needs met. While this is a reason for working harder on the relationship, not seeking relief from another man, it is easy to understand the pain that makes the whole thing possible.

And then there is Revenge. I am seeing much more of this as a motive. Today's woman is not willing to just sit still and "take it." Unfortunately, the "eye for an eye" approach has become more acceptable and a woman who feels betrayed and rejected may well return the favor.

Sometimes a woman needs only to hold a suspicion that her partner is cheating to be susceptible. She may have painful memories from other, earlier relationships in her life, and she may have an expectation of being hurt in this one, as well. This is where a "self fulfilling prophecy" can take over and create pain for everyone.

One reason for a woman's affair is similar to one for men: boredom. An unsatisfying, dull, and predictable relationship that is not growing in depth can make the excitement of a new relationship very attractive.

The affair is not only exciting due to the new person involved, but also to the whole experience of sneaking around and hiding it. This can be a huge adrenaline rush. It's not saying it too strongly to say that it can even be mildly addictive. Women who have multiple affairs may be experiencing this kind of stimulus.

Underlying all these reasons for cheating is a poor sense of self-esteem. We all need an adequate amount of affection and iration from our partners. One way or another this attention falters at times and the person can become insecure and start looking for the attention is other places.

Women can especially have this problem since our culture puts so much emphasis on physical beauty, sex appeal, and the ability to attract men. The truly secure woman knows that her value rests not in these attributes but in her depth of character, her spiritual self, and in her self-reliance.

Unfortunately, there is very little in our culture to encourage this self awareness and many women unconsciously find their worth in the attention they receive from the men in their lives. And, when it is not coming from their partner they are susceptible to receiving it from other men.

Few would say that any of these reasons for cheating are justifiable. Whether it is quest for material things, boredom, self-esteem, revenge, or the pain that relationships often bring, the answer is to go to work on the relationship, not to have an affair. We can understand the motivations for affairs, but we still know that they are harmful and someone usually gets hurt badly.

A bedtime lover or a lifetime lover, which one wouldya suck up to?

If she's into you, then light up the skies and rule your world!

The way our society is set now, you have to be smart so as not to waste your money, and your time (which may I say is more valuable) on vulture-like females who are out to burn the biggest hole they can in your pocket. So it’s pertinent to know if your possible catch is really into you. Interestingly if she really doesn’t like you, you’re really wasting your time. Don't get played like a banjo, lose all your money, and end up cursing all women. Learn the game so you can become the winner that lurks within you. Even in this game, its survival of the fittest. Women will take advantage of the weak and powerless as much as they can. Don't think because you’re nice and sweet towards her, that you will score any points. If you don’t have a strategy to get to her mind so as to penetrate the sweet spot you hunger for, you will be masturbating every night of your life.
Fact is, she gave you all the signs she wasn't interested, you just wasn't paying attention. She told you exactly how she felt, using subtle body language that eludes the average man. So what are the signs she is into or not into you?
She Calls - If a woman calls you once, it doesn’t mean she's into you. Some women will call just to be courteous, or to fulfil a promise. When a woman is really into you, she will call numerous times. She calls you even if you never returned her last message. She calls when she’s bored, when she’s happy, when she wants to talk. Whatever, she will find every excuse to call you. Women think about love and romance more than men, so when you seduce a woman’s mind and get her thinking of kissing you, caressing you, feeling you deep inside of her, she can't help but call you. Take note of it because it means she's into you.
Her Eyes - Ever talked to a woman and see sex or even hate in her eyes? Yes, you can tell a lot by how a woman looks at you. When she’s really into you, you’ll begin to notice that her gazes are deep and penetrating and her pupils are dilated. She seems nervous, showing this by blinking her eyes excessively or raising her eyebrows with an immediate smile. She tends to hold her stare just a bit longer than usual. Take the hint. She’s into you.
The Way She Dances - If you're on the dance floor and she’s dancing together with you, you must also take the opportunity to find out if she’s really into you. She could be just into the music and you happened to be there as a dancing partner. Some women will dance with you, and you sometimes have to laugh, because you could fit another person between both of you. However, if she dances very close and tend to wine into you and to your rhythm that’s a good sign.
Her Kinaesthetic Movements - Another clue is to notice if she rest her head on your shoulders and pretend you're her daddy. She may also rub your back to the rhythm and basically keep her hands on your body. And the obvious one is if she looks into your eyes while dancing and smiles with you. Mimic her movements and everything she does, and do the same to her - she’s into you. Other things to consider are: does she sit with her posture facing you, does she play with her hair while talking together with you, does she bite her nails, does she inadvertently touch you from time to time, does she rub her thighs unwittingly or knowingly? Any and all of these little things give you some indication of interest, the more signs you see the more she’s into you and the deeper you should take her mentally.
Once you realize she’s into you, you have to go to work, not go to work as in smothering her until she begins to dislike you. Now is the time to show her your value. Once you do that, then you pull back and make her chase after you. Don't be too concerned about losing her. She will come to you for two reasons:
-She already likes you.
-She has seen your value, your uniqueness and style.
She will make sure you become hers so go out there and meet women that are really into you, instead of wasting your time and money on women who are not.

@ThiefOfHearts, I see you're trying pretty hard to patronise me.For your information, I don't buy what your sell, okay?

@ThiefOfHearts, I see you got no scruples one bit.Unfortunately it's filthy ladies like you who dress up on a Sunday morning to go to church to worship the God you know.What's the shit you're dropping around here got to do with the thread?Bitch on with your intrigues.

@ThiefofHearts, if you ain't got any candid or honest advice on a crucial issue why not step on.You don't have to talk for the sake of talking.Everyone's not like you, okay?How do you know anal sex doesn't require much?Sure you've been there, right?If that's what you do then know it's not good for you.I'm straight to the hilt.Stay with the thread or lose it.

The guy's so cute and good looking and no lady could've known he's dead 'down south'.

@whitelexi, I guess you got a point there.

The guy's a british citizen while the lady's being here for 13 years and just 'bout getting her right of abode.For those who're conversant with british law, what's your take on this?

Yeah, that's the big issue.According to the law here, she has to share the property with the bloke if she decides to back off.She never knew before the marriage that the guy wasn't 'man enough'.

If it's a tale to you then pray it doesn't happen to you or anyone you know.The guy is so much set in his ways and won't give a bulge.As a matter of fact, the papers have both of their names on her property while he's refused to put her name on any of his properties.What's you advice?