NewStats: 3,264,076 , 8,182,516 topics. Date: Monday, 09 June 2025 at 02:52 PM x255

Have you gone to the village?

DaniDani:
Have you gone to the village?

I hope to take care of something first; I guess, get stronger physically before going. Am so afraid (I really don't know why). Never been so scared and insecure all my life.

I am so hated in my family (I never thought it'll get to me this much).

I can't sleep anymore and sometimes I don't even to eat until after a day or two at times and don't feel notice until I feel too weak to get out of bed. I hate to go out too except its extremely important. I get very angry for no reason at my self and destroy or set my belongings ablaze. Am loosing touch of my business and my sales girls are looting me dry and I don't seem to care.

Why? Can't I fix anything anymore?

Godlovesyou28:

It is well with you dear ,God loves you even if no one in your family does, (Jeremiah 31 vs 3.)can I send a pm?

I hope to take care of something first; I guess, get stronger physically before going. Am so afraid (I really don't know why). Never been so scared and insecure all my life.

I am so hated in my family (I never thought it'll get to me this much).

I can't sleep anymore and sometimes I don't even to eat until after a day or two at times and don't feel notice until I feel too weak to get out of bed. I hate to go out too except its extremely important. I get very angry for no reason at my self and destroy or set my belongings ablaze. Am loosing touch of my business and my sales girls are looting me dry and I don't seem to care.

Why? Can't I fix anything anymore?

Omo na wa o

vikkimimi:
Suing him won't help you make things easy, instead they'll get so bad!
Why not try going through elders within your family, like your dad's parents or even a pastor he respects in his church.....it'll be better this way even though it might take longer time than necessary for the truth to come out.

Take things easy, it's best to

Pastor what?elderly ones in the family will be OK.

Ishilove:
Then you are likely a product of away match.

LMAO

I do not trouble but, I detest lies. If you would like to sue him, I will you financially. I no kuku get much but, I can afford a lawyer. It is your right.

On this matter , I belong to the C.R.A thank u. Hit like if u are one

Godlovesyou28:


I can't even hold my tears back, my heart is bursting out. I don't even know why I feel this amount of pain. My birth certificate says I was born in a private hospital that don't exist(I have gone there and its an office complex) and mother's name, occupation and signature is that of my mum(now step mum).

You're probably a stolen child.

Ishilove:

Then you are likely a product of away match.

Most likely

@Godlovesyou28, find out if your parents had a househelp around the time you were born, someone your stepmum and dad could intimidate into giving up her child easily. I know of a case like yours where the baby was taken away from the househelp.

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

Favour(gifts) open doors. Don't take it in a biblical way please. Find one of those your relatives that's really struggling, come to his/her aids a couple of times, their children in any little way, sooner than later he/she will open up. Humans always prefer where there is something to gain.
Additional tip, , the enemy if your enemy is your friend. Preferably find the relative that has fallen out in good with your father or stepmum. It works fastest.

Probably you are adapted child,That could be the only reason there is still no trace on your mummy's where about.

Am suspecting your dad has an extra martial affairs which was how you are given birth to,and the baby was taken away from your real mother and your dad promise never to her again and your step mother takes over to raise you as her own. Reason why she treated you with so much hatred is because she can't seem to forgive your father and she kept on transferring the aggression on you.

Godlovesyou28:


I am am a replica of my dad even more than all my siblings. I don't think I was adopted since I have older siblings.

Have you considered pulling a gun on them. The fact is that most of these people will call elders in Africa are nonentities ,until you show how brutally stupid they are, they won't wake up from their dogmatic slumber.

Godlovesyou28:


My father will kill if I go that public.

The same father you were thinking of suing?

Wow, I feel your pain dear, so sad, I didn't grow up wit my mom too, but the difference is my mom died when I was very tender, if u have to sue them go ahead, make it public, kill this fear in you or it will kill u, do what u can for u and ur mom
Hugs and love from here

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

Sorry about this. Many of us went through the tribulations of growing up not with our biological parents.
You are probably stolen from Kano. Your so called Dad might as well not be your biological father.

Do you ever think maybe you are adopt from the motherless baby home or you are giving birth to by a surrogate mum or someone your dad have a fling with. I believe there is more to it for your dad not wanting to discuss about it.

OP you just narrated my story. Thing is I wouldn't really go deep into mine.
My step mum drastically changed when she found out that I knew she wasn't my mum, few years back.
Long story short, she played a major role in seeing that my own father kicked me out of his house just last December. He's a Nairalander so I wont talk much.
Ever since then, believe me life hasn't been funny. I almost drank insecticide believe me you. He still threatens to disown me whenever I tell him that I need money.
It was like I was brought out in the rain naked. I turned to a begger here on Nairaland, I chop insults wella ehh, fear Nairaland people. I was always insulted, I always changer monikers due to my profile being filled with begging. God where do I start in relating my story. I believe God isn't finished with me tho. He has brought me this far. Am in tears typing this like, I never knew someone could face something similar to mine. I almost became an atheist. People promised and broke my trust. People failed me woefully. I am traumatised even up till now. I haven't really seen someone to open up to.
I am still leaning on God. Pray for me

Godlovesyou28:


I don't know what the story is; and I clearly do not care how I came... Am here now, and need to know who my mother is.
But for the record, the relative told me that my father paid my real mother's dowry when he Briefly separated from my step mum but returned it afterward after sending her out to bring my step mum back. I do not care what the history is; I just want to know my real mum.

I like that. You are here now and thats all that matter. How you came is inconsequential.
Meet elders from your family and plead with them.
Meet that relative and assure her that you will keep her disclosure secret.
Where is your Dad from? If you are someone that goes to village a lot, you can dig up info from some people there.

Desperation won't get you anywhere, you'll can easily get scammed in this state you're in. Only wisdom can help here. Any gragra or pestering will only get everything worse. Don't ask your dad or relatives anything again for now. He'd probably have called and threatened them after knowing someone have snitched. Just calm down and pray to God for divine revelation and for him to guide you

Godlovesyou28:


I can't even hold my tears back, my heart is bursting out. I don't even know why I feel this amount of pain. My birth certificate says I was born in a private hospital that don't exist(I have gone there and its an office complex) and mother's name, occupation and signature is that of my mum(now step mum).

This is a criminal case. Sue the morafvkers if you are independent lady.

Godlovesyou28:


My grandparents are all late. My dads pastor sadly is not an option trust me.

Why don't you go back to the woman that exposed the whole thing to you maybe she will help you...

I want you to be grateful to God that your life has been given meaning. Show appreciation to your parents including your step-mum for training you and bringing you up. Show more love towards them and they will be the one to reveal your mother to you at the appropriate time. Rejoice and don't be bitter.

Too bad u have to suffer for others mistake. Your aunt can't show your mom but can tell you about your step mum not being your mum. Fear that ur aunt, she wants to use u against your step mum and Dad.

Godlovesyou28:
I just told my dad I was going to kill myself if he fails to tell me who my mum is and he told me not to mention his name on my death note and Hung up

lolx your papa na kolo man, no offence.

Nairaland mods dey gbana choko, Olohun!

"how I found out my stepmum is not my real mum"!

abeg which kyne headline be this wey d op post so?



how u nor take know say ya stepmum nor be ya real mum?

blame it on d mods wey shift am go for fp sha.

fake unreal daaamnn niggerz, in Slawormir voice.

This is serious. I suspects your step mother. Your Dad has answer to your question but has no power to say it without taking permission from his second wife.
My advice:
Go to God in prayer, He will surely reveal the truth one day.

This are my simple assumptions and thoughts:
1. Ur biological mum is from ur dad village or neighboring villages
2. No matter what, ur mum won’t abandon you like that if she is well and alive(am not wishing her dead)
3. There is something very serious that u don’t know for ur dad to cut u off from ur mum Nd maternal family
4. Go to ur father village and look for another family that is at loggerheads with ur family and beg them to tell you things about yourself and mum, that’s the best way to find out cos even ur dad relatives won’t help you cos they will not want to have issues with ur dad

Godlovesyou28:



I hope to take care of something first; I guess, get stronger physically before going. Am so afraid (I really don't know why). Never been so scared and insecure all my life.

I am so hated in my family (I never thought it'll get to me this much).

I can't sleep anymore and sometimes I don't even to eat until after a day or two at times and don't feel notice until I feel too weak to get out of bed. I hate to go out too except its extremely important. I get very angry for no reason at my self and destroy or set my belongings ablaze. Am loosing touch of my business and my sales girls are looting me dry and I don't seem to care.

Why? Can't I fix anything anymore?

I'm not trying to sound harsh here but do you want to run mad or fall sick? Just take it easy on yourself. If you continue like this it won't end well for you.