NewStats: 3,265,392 , 8,186,589 topics. Date: Saturday, 14 June 2025 at 06:13 PM 6k675s

I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Ionknow!
I had such an experience where a female friend of mine, shocked my azz by telling she loves me. At first it didn't cause any change of my attitude towards her, but after while, I began to see involuntary indifference all over my attitude towards her. I believe it is just a matter of feelings. She has feelings for a guy but he doesn't have, so that while she expects the guy to behave towards her according to her feelings, she gets disappointed when he doesn't therefore appearing as though the guy is losing interest or has lost interest.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit.I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

I'll stay here to read comments. At times when the guy pursues and purses and purses, it's oftentimes when the other party picks interest, his begin to dry up

Let me tell you the parable of the lost sheep.
A shepherd once lost a sheep. He left the other 99sheep in search of that one lost sheep. He searched every nooks and crannies till he found what he was looking for.

Moral of the story: you don't search for what you have.

Cant relate dunno who you have been dating. These days people Bleep on the same day they meet or first date. You con dey expect man to chase u for long. Who u Who born you How do you exist

No the guy hasn’t even chased and chased , he just started and is doing shakara because the woman acts interested. I really don’t understand if men expect women to chase them.

Won’t he kill his ego?

Renida:



I'll stay here to read comments. At times when the guy pursues and purses and purses, it's oftentimes when the other party picks interest, his begin to dry up

Explain

Dobson43:



Let me tell you the parable of the lost sheep.
A shepherd once lost a sheep. He left the other 99sheep in search of that one lost sheep. He searched every nooks and crannies till he found what he was looking for.

Moral of the story: you don't search for what you have.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit.I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Tell us your experience

Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Dreiwizzy:
Tell us your experience

piamily:

No the guy hasn’t even chased and chased , he just started and is doing shakara because the woman acts interested. I really don’t understand if men expect women to chase them.

Won’t he kill his ego?

We don't expect you to chase us. The same way some girls do shakara for guys wooing them, the same way some guys do shakara for girls interested in them. So it is a two way traffic. But I don't do shakara sha!

piamily:

No the guy hasn’t even chased and chased , he just started and is doing shakara because the woman acts interested. I really don’t understand if men expect women to chase them.

Won’t he kill his ego?

I feel sorry if such is the scenario. People lose interest once their person of interest for so many reasons. One of this which I think is the case here is psychological posturing. What this means is some people are used to working extremely hard aka hustling for things. Their entire life rests on a perspective that what they must have, they must work for, unfortunately some of this whole way of thinking affects even not working aspects of their lives. So in relationships for example, this kinds want to toast toast, chase and beg the woman, but if it doesn't follow this narrative and the lady makes asking her out easy, it poses no challenge and isn't mentally tasking. This makes them see lesser value however good such a partner maybe.


I believe the narrative above is the scenarios playing out here. It happens with women also. When people in this category don't suffer for a thing, their brain tricks them to assume it's worth lesser. It's purely psychological

This is a different scenario.cos here you’re saying the girl made the move.

I’m actually saying that In my case the man made the move

ibksiv:
Ionknow!
I had such an experience where a female friend of mine, shocked my azz by telling she loves me. At first it didn't cause any change of my attitude towards her, but after while, I began to see involuntary indifference all over my attitude towards her. I believe it is just a matter of feelings. She has feelings for a guy but he doesn't have, so that while she expects the guy to behave towards her according to her feelings, she gets disappointed when he doesn't therefore appearing as though the guy is losing interest or has lost interest.

Get a standard America table tennis court to keep busy during this lockdown. Delivery within and outside Lagos. Whatssap:

Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

Renida:


I feel sorry if such is the scenario. People lose interest once their person of interest for so many reasons. One of this which I think is the case here is psychological posturing. What this means is some people are used to working extremely hard aka hustling for things. Their entire life rests on a perspective that what they must have, they must work for, unfortunately some of this whole way of thinking affects even not working aspects of their lives. So in relationships for example, this kinds want to toast toast, chase and beg the woman, but if it doesn't follow this narrative and the lady makes asking her out easy, it poses no challenge and isn't mentally tasking. This makes them see lesser value however good such a partner maybe.


I believe the narrative above is the scenarios playing out here

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

.

I didn't say Nigerian men. I simply wrote about some persons, male and female, humans in general. It's psychological immaturity. Don't let their immaturity lead you to form new unhealthy habits. If you like the person, keep them far, and watch them beg for your attention as they outgrow their mental posturing. For now, go for where you're worshipped, not where you're tolerated


As for me, I don't want a lady I have interest in making it hard, at my age, level of maturity, five minutes is what I want to bear chasing anyone. Nothing more. In fact, I rather be chased

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Force him to miss you; start conversating with him as if he's still seeking for your . It will hurt, but continue; this singular act will bring out his real intention towards you. Let nobody waste your time.

Lol
I love that line” be where you’re worshipped not where you’re tolerated .

So you love to be chased huh

I see

Renida:
.

I didn't say Nigerian men. I simply wrote about some persons, male and female, humans in general. It's psychological immaturity. Don't let their immaturity lead you to form new unhealthy habits. If you like the person, keep them far, and watch them beg for your attention as they outgrow their mental posturing. For now, go for where you're worshipped, not where you're tolerated


As for me, I don't want a lady I have interest in making it hard, at my age, level of maturity, five minutes is what I want to bear chasing anyone. Nothing more. In fact, I rather be chased

Exactly

Dreiwizzy:
Force him to miss you; start conversating with him as if he's still seeking for your . It will hurt, but continue; this singular act will bring out his real intention towards you. Let nobody waste your time.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit.I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

That may be becos they sensed that the reason for you getting interested in them is for your personal benefits and not for a mutual benefits

Wrong impression

frankkydee:










That may be becos they sensed that the reason for you getting interested in them is for your personal benefits and not for a mutual benefits

frankkydee:










That may be becos they sensed that the reason for you getting interested in them is for your personal benefits and not for a mutual benefits

Exactly hit the spot

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

Do not accept what that guy is saying, for me I easily lose interest once a girl plays hard to get.Individual cases differ my dear

piamily:


Explain

My dear, the hunter does not chase after a prey he has caught

piamily:
Lol
I love that line” be where you’re worshipped not where you’re tolerated .

So you love to be chased huh

I see

I love not to be stressed. Chasing is stressing and oftentimes make one begin to question oneself and experience constant self doubt, I don't want to be in this position. If I like a lady, I'm ready as a guy to work with her pace, but then, a guy chases, today lady's head is on her shoulder, the next day is not. Instability and heart issues is a mixture many men hate to deal with. In the end, we must be ready to deal with some drama in issues that affects the heart.


Oh I'm yet to see a lady I really really like since I was created

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit.I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

It apply to both genders, if u show interest in someone that does not like u, it won't change what they feel towards u. But when u show interest in someone who likes u, he will naturally reciprocate. U ladies feel once u show interest in any man, he should reciprocate, because u are a lady, it doesn't work like that. A man also need to feel something for u.

So men stop becoming sweet when they get their woman ��

Nawa o

Dobson43:



My dear, the hunter does not chase after a prey he has caught

The pleasure is in the chase.

piamily:
So men stop becoming sweet when they get their woman ��

Nawa o

It's sad

The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

Why?

Are you attracted to guys?

Renida:



I love not to be stressed. Chasing is stressing and oftentimes Lexmark one to question oneself and experience constant self doubt, I don't want to be in this position. If I like a lady, I'm ready as a guy to work with her pace, but then, a guy chases, today lady's head is on her shoulder, the next day is not. Instability and heart issues is a mixture many men hate to deal with. In the end, we must be ready to deal with some drama in issues that affects the heart.


Oh I'm yet to see a lady I really really like since I was created

piamily:

Wrong impression

How wrong could it be? Though as for me, I don't take any lady that shows interest in me for granted, I was just talking from the experience I had with some of my male friends

piamily:


Why?

Are you attracted to guys?

Nah. Attraction and soul interest are two different issues. Anyone can be attracted to persons, but then your person of interest may not be available or may not want to be in a relationship for reasons like ethnicity, attraction is first, in loving relationships people develop an extensive list that's almost many times designed to keep them single, not help them find love, another mental imbalance issue in the psyche of a lovers interest


I'd rather be working on my combustion engines blueprint, factory manual review, conducting improvements in my engineering systems designs, unravelling nuclear chemistry complexities, thermodynamics and redeg engineering modules for my future tech innovations, solving mysteries in quantum physics, writing scientific papers than let love exhaust me now. Love drains. I'd rather be willing to forfeit my ego and be chased at this moment.