NewStats: 3,263,156 , 8,179,278 topics. Date: Wednesday, 04 June 2025 at 09:03 PM u2i4d

historica:
The latest trend is some men wait till their women gets pregnant before they start talking of marriage.

Very bad trend...making it awkward for the woman

In my place you can't marry a pregnant woman...you have to wait until she gives birth to the baby... it can get quite embarrassing if your parents are church officials

It's a personal decision, I don't think there's any appointed time for it

Follow ur mind

midnighter:


Very bad trend...making it awkward for the woman

In my place you can't marry a pregnant woman...you have to wait until she gives birth to the baby... it can get quite embarrassing if your parents are church officials

Good thing you said in your place, everywhere is not the same.

If the woman is not complaining, other people including yourself should not complain for her.

nairalandposter:


Good thing you said in your place, everywhere is not the same.

Lol are you following me? Yeah it's good if it's not going to cause problems

;very true

jenifer007:
My brother taking in should not be delayed all because you want to enjoy yourselves as couple..The joy of marriage especially in Africa is having children.It is better you start trying immediately after marriage because you will be surprised by the time you are ready,conception might also tell you they are not ready too.

Body differs

Delay is dangerous

midnighter:


Lol are you following me? Yeah it's good if it's not going to cause problems

No, I'm not following you.

I should ask if YOU are following ME.

Waiting ..in marriage depends on the plans agreed by both parties... because you will really need to settle and rekindle the real meaning of liviing together as husband and wife... while you also map a Future and save towards it...


I personally waited 1 year before i start shooting... and no regrets on that. More also, dont rush, and try spacing too as it will allow the first baby(ies) to enjoy their parents.

Absolutely no need to rush if you get married in your late 20s and early thirties.


Note this... once the children start coming... your love life will never remain the same again. Because this time you will need to all share it... it won't be that easy. You might even grow apart while still married and be having kids...

Wife might suffered hormonal imbalance, which will affect attitude and life style...

Husband will seek side chick to be calming nerves...


Alot of things... however it takes a matured mind to understand this and encourage each other as they grow.

6 years and three months...

Pastor told me that.

THUNDER4real:
Funny question with joking answers.

Let's analyze:

If you say you will wait for 3 months to 1 year, does it mean no sex or your wife will be on family planning?

We humans are not God, if your wife is not on family planning( which is not 100% certified excluding Abstinence), you will wake up one day with pregnancy

Furthermore, I still see no reason, a newly wedded couple will start their lives with Family planning programs.?

There are some family planning programs that has adverse effect that can be detrimental to the woman.

God giveth and God taketh, Don't act too wise, so you won't be a candidate of looking for fruit of the womb.

Not trying to start an argument here but this is your opinion. And as James Blunt once said, opinions are like a*seholes. Every body has one.

Here's mine.

First, family planning is the act of planning the number of and the spacing between said children. There are many methods of family planning. The easiest and most convinient are called condoms.

Yes, many families start with a plan for the number of and spacing between the children. A family that want to have children immediately and want to have 4 on the bounce, that's their family plan. It is family planning.

Except you have problems with condoms, that's a viable method of family planning. And not everyone has problems with them. So those that don't can use that method.

God gives and takes away according to Job. But God gives us the free will to make a choice. And as long as that choice is not in opposition to Him or His plans, we are good to go. And even if they are not, Moses proved we can get Him to change His mind.

It all boils down to how ready( psychologically, mentally, financially...)the couples are to become parents. Just like marriage, birthing children shouldn't be rushed into.

Forget societal pressure nonsense, have a kid only when you can afford to raise one. No one will take up your responsibilities because you are following African norms. I have been married for more than a year, we not not ready for a baby yet. No one has the right to pressure you into raising kids. Let's stop all this African mindset that has taking us backwards.

spiritedtete:



I personally waited 1 year before i start shooting..

shooting what or who?

nairalandposter:


shooting what or who?

Targeting for children... come on now... lol

LewsTherin:
I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

this is how it should be

nairalandposter:
No, I'm not following you.

I should ask if YOU are following ME.

I tend to comment on posts without really noticing the moniker...forgive me , I can't quoting you

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

What if it is the man That is not fertile or you think infertility is found only in women.

Immediately after the wedding, the job starts, because time wait for no man.

midnighter:


I tend to comment on posts without really noticing the moniker...forgive me , I can't quoting you

@ bolded

I believe I mentioned that about myself on another thread which you probably saw and are now quoting verbatim.

With time, you'll reveal more of yourself no doubt.

Quite sure this is a new moniker for you, your old ones must be somewhere.

I know a couple that waited for 5 years for pleasure and career....but ended up trying to get pregnant for another ten years. ... delay is risky Biko

nairalandposter:


@ bolded

I believe I mentioned that about myself on another thread which you probably saw and are now quoting verbatim.

Not at all! That's a genuine answer to your post. I tried searching for our monikers together, but it came up with nothing..so I had to confess that I couldn't where we'd spoken... or rather where I'd followed you

Not everyone get married because of this sole reason. It shouldn't be a criteria to send her packing. Some persons get married because they see a partner in the person. Babies are product of a union and shouldn't be the only reason for the union.

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

AkupeMBANO:

from their monikers you shall know them.

Chill2:
Forget societal pressure nonsense, have a kid only when you can afford to raise one. No one will take up your responsibilities because you are following African norms. I have been married for more than a year, we not not ready for a baby yet. No one has the right to pressure you into raising kids. Let's stop all this African mindset that has taking us backwards.

That's just the truth

nairalandposter:


If the woman is not complaining, other people including yourself should not complain for her.

You and I both know that placing a fertility clause on an engagement can make it awkward for women and get the lady in trouble with her family and wider society...

How is that complaining for her...

Are you out of your mind? A public forum you seek for advice on intimate issue like this?

Tela101:



Why so rude?

Chill2:
Forget societal pressure nonsense, have a kid only when you can afford to raise one. No one will take up your responsibilities because you are following African norms. I have been married for more than a year, we not not ready for a baby yet. No one has the right to pressure you into raising kids. Let's stop all this African mindset that has taking us backwards.

I tire.

A fellow I know was berating me for wanting to have only 2 children. He said the African way is to have at least 4. He has 3 and is going to try for one more. Homeboy is seriously struggling in business. Hasn't been able to pay his rent for 4 years. Could barely pay for his Wife's last delivery.

This is basically what I told him.

How many of us in Africa have farms? The "traditional African" thing was when we had large farms and needed as many hands as possible to man these farms. Or herds. Even the white man did the same thing. But once the industrial revolution came and they left the farms for industrialised towns and cities, the need for many children was dumped for as few as possible making it easier to care for them.

While we "Africans" have left our farms for industrialised cities and towns, we are still trying to maintain the need to have many children in the name of tradition. For what? What benefit? When many people can barely take care of one.

U be God wey dey decide ni?

nairalandposter:


With time, you'll reveal more of yourself no doubt.

Quite sure this is a new moniker for you, your old ones must be somewhere.

I should say the same to you.

It seems I should watch you more closely so that I'll know when I'm apparently stealing words straight from your fingertips...since you think I couldn't possibly be coming up with my replies by myself

joepepsy:
Are you out of your mind? A public forum you seek for advice on intimate issue like this?

.

joepepsy:
Are you out of your mind? A public forum you seek for advice on intimate issue like this?

It is a faceless forum.

And people ask questions more intimate than this on this forum.

No, I am not out of my mind.

If you don't have anything to say don't comment.

Please don't quote me again.

midnighter:


I should say the same to you.

It seems I should watch you more closely so that I'll know when I'm apparently stealing words straight from your fingertips...since you think I couldn't possibly be thinking of my replies myself

Going by your post history today, and probably other days, can you blame anyone for watching you more closely?