NewStats: 3,261,627 , 8,174,548 topics. Date: Thursday, 29 May 2025 at 08:03 PM 38701j

Plz I know there are men on this forum that has ed through what I'm facing.


I am a working class young man in his early 20s, my fiancee is in her final year in the university. She will have to do internship before service, so basically she still needs at least 3 years b4 she can settle down. she is younger than me. She is a virgin and I'm her first. She wanted us to wait till marriage which is still 3 yrs away based on her education. Our parents are aware of the relationship, so also is our religious leaders. I am not a virgin and as such it's difficult to wait. My job exposes me to different beautiful girls everyday and I give some free rides sometimes. In fact, I have one who intends to visit me this coming weekend but I haven't given her my final response. I have resorted to masturbation in order to quench my thirst for sex but it's not working.

She has made it known to me that she will rather quit than have sex before marriage.

My options are either to cheat or end the relationship ( I don't know of any other option for now). The latter is tough considering that we have both made sacrifices for the relationship, also her parents take me as their son. She is actually very good in other aspects including respect, submission, cooking, dressing etc. I don't want to loose a good woman yet I find it impossible to convince her. But I'm dying of konji everyday.

Anybody who has ed through this stage should pls give me the best advice.

P. S For the trolls here, I intentionally avoided romance section in order to get mature responses, so I wont dignify u with a response if u want to troll me.

Self control
Be determinant
Be willing
Stay focus

Since u can't wait for 3 yrs, quit now instead of playing home/away match dat'll eventually ruin u_May u not see evil.Com again,since ur parents are aware about both relationship, what stop u from walking her down the altar now? Abi student nor dey marry again?

Try and reach a compromise. Have a heart to heart talk with her and let her know the situation of things.

You both can decide to get married earlier than 3 years if you don't mind holding off pregnancy till then....that may be one of the reasons she doesn't want to go ahead yet.

Look out for sexual compatible by asking her what her sexual orientation is. This is to avoid stories that touch when you eventually get married.

Self control is also key!!! This is because your wife may not always be available when you're married for one reason or the other. When that's the case, are you going to start looking outside

Lol.

Its your life, look I regret the girls I didn't fuvk, because of stupid reasons like this.
Lemme give you a situation, imagine you starve yourself, then find out that your "virgin" was fuvked during nysc? What would you do??.
What about if she's playing you?
What if she gets assurance from another guy and dumps you?

Guy live a life without regret, please those you can afford to please, if you know that you wouldn't feel like hell if she isn't the price then be a fake virgin,

Finally I would say, take the decisions you can live with.
Because you can only control your actions, if the girl doesn't want sex, leave her, there is more to it or she doesn't love you anymore, when a girls denies you sex its just a hint( like all those stupid lights) they claim to give off.
She doesn't mind you breaking up with her, I think you should know what to do now.

Don't let any girl take u for a ride bro from experience dating a virgin will still give u headaches in d long run because she will still want to do what her mate are doing in d society if she no want give u pomon free her I dated a girl last story not always good

Baba cheat on her. While u keep her and her virgin talk one side. Your young and can never be young twice. She's a woman and sorry I don't trust women. A correct G may come along with a Benz and sweet mouth and f*ck this your glorified virgin.

Like I experienced in my school in Awka. I met a cute year 2 girl who promised her boyfriend not to cheat cos she's saving it for marriage . Well I had already graduated and bought a Camry muscle which was still a fancy car back then in 2013. I drove it to school and gave her mad trips. She fell and I disvirgined her and f*cked her two more times before I left the school. Can you imagine she told her so called boyfriend in tears?that shes no more a virgin and she regrets giving it out to me but still loves him. She even gave him my number. Nigga called me and was sounding emotional on the phone almost in tears like how could I have taken advantage of her after she genuinely told me she was serious with someone but I still carried on to bed his long time GF and that I'm wicked and all. That he must fight me if we jam. I ask am: bros did I r*pe her? Which kain stupid talk be dat. I deleted her number and blocked her off.

Moral lesson: Guy dont trust any thing that bleeds for 5days and does not die!!

Pipedreams:
Baba cheat on her. While u keep her and her virgin talk one side. Your young and can never be young twice. She's a woman and sorry I don't trust.



Moral lesson: Guy dont trust any thing that bleeds for 5days and does die!!

I love the moral quote.

As long as you’re not married, you belong to no one and everyone. This is the “very very very large scale silicon chip” age, do what you have to.

As a man, take charge of your relationship, let her know what’s happening, if she still insists on waiting for marriage then go ahead and pleasure yourself.

Young men should understand that they need this exploration to gain experience and better their sexual lives(please play it safe, use condoms).

After waiting till marriage and you find out your babe is a log of wood in bed, has low libido, seeks permission from her parents or religious leaders before having sex, you’ll still come back here to seek our advice.

Don’t get me wrong, if you want to wait then fine, good for you.

Just to be on yhe safe side, answer these questions, I’ll be as straightforward as possible;

1. Do you and your girl s3x chat?
2. Have you ever talked dirty in anyway with your girl? (Did she make it fun for you?)
3. Does she give you regular blowjobs? Is she any good?
4. Does she dress sexy when she sleeps over?
5. Does she see sex as only for bearing children?

Marrying a good woman is great! Marrying a sexually boring woman is frustrating!

Virgins are grossly over-rated.....they have this sense of belonging and entitlement that is annoying....always feeling like they are doing you a huge favour...like their virginity is worth a billion dollars...zero sexxual kills...zero satisfaction...heck i don't know how guys cope with virgin girlfriends......yes one can marry one but not date them...i can't even date a woman i'm not sexually attracted to.


Oga its your call...your girl doesn't love you so much like you love her...for a woman to say ""you can leave the relationship because of sex"" speaks alot.....go and give yourself brain.

I don't know why so many guys think sex for women is a chore or some huge favour OP get this in your head and memorise it everyday. GIRLS GET HÖRNY TOO, MOST TIMES MORE THAN GUYS. For a lady to be willng to give up a relationship because you desire sex with her speaks volume of her psyche and attraction - pretty much inexistent - towards you . Personally, I'm repulsed by girls like that. Virginity is not a virtue!! maybe it was when virgins were offered up to the gods for sacrifice. I mean, who even wants someone that would feel guilty and ashamed of her body during sex for a lifetime of marriage?

You need to get your priorities right to know what you want in a marriage and SEX is very important. Like someone said, you will be easily frustrated in a marriage with someone that sees sex as a duty and not what they desire I cannot even imagine.

Pick a book on seduction and attraction written by women to understand a little about women and their sexual desires.

Warriz all this (HEART TO HEART) talk self......... he said he has talked to her about it and she refused saying she will rather quit the relationship than have sex before marriage,, is that not HEART TO HEART enuf?

eniolorunfe:
Try and reach a compromise. Have a heart to heart talk with her and let her know the situation of things.

You both can decide to get married earlier than 3 years if you don't mind holding off pregnancy till then....that may be one of the reasons she doesn't want to go ahead yet.

Look out for sexual compatible by asking her what her sexual orientation is. This is to avoid stories that touch when you eventually get married.

Self control is also key!!! This is because your wife may not always be available when you're married for one reason or the other. When that's the case, are you going to start looking outside

hmm...sum1 wants to eat his cake and still have it

Heroyalhighness:
Warriz all this (HEART TO HEART) talk self......... he said he has talked to her about it and she refused saying she will rather quit the relationship than have sex before marriage,, is that not HEART TO HEART enuf?

Why don't you try to profer solutions rather than trying to quote a few words out of context?

There are different levels of "talking" in case you don't know and what works in a relationship is when both talk openly and freely, not hiding their feelings.

The fact that he said he talked to her about it doesn't mean he shared his heart with her. Go figure!

[quote author=Pipedreams post=688246

Moral lesson: Guy dont trust any thing that bleeds for 5days and does not die!! [/quote] straight up

Dyt:
Self control Be determinant Be willing Stay focus

seconded! it's not easy am there right now

Mmmguy:
Plz I know there are men on this forum that has ed through what I'm facing.


I am a working class young man in his early 20s, my fiancee is in her final year in the university. She will have to do internship before service, so basically she still needs at least 3 years b4 she can settle down. she is younger than me. She is a virgin and I'm her first. She wanted us to wait till marriage which is still 3 yrs away based on her education. Our parents are aware of the relationship, so also is our religious leaders. I am not a virgin and as such it's difficult to wait. My job exposes me to different beautiful girls everyday and I give some free rides sometimes. In fact, I have one who intends to visit me this coming weekend but I haven't given her my final response. I have resorted to masturbation in order to quench my thirst for sex but it's not working.

She has made it known to me that she will rather quit than have sex before marriage.

My options are either to cheat or end the relationship ( I don't know of any other option for now). The latter is tough considering that we have both made sacrifices for the relationship, also her parents take me as their son. She is actually very good in other aspects including respect, submission, cooking, dressing etc. I don't want to loose a good woman yet I find it impossible to convince her. But I'm dying of konji everyday.

Anybody who has ed through this stage should pls give me the best advice.

P. S For the trolls here, I intentionally avoided romance section in order to get mature responses, so I wont dignify u with a response if u want to troll me.

How far is she willing to go in helping you out with your sexual frustration without actually having vaginal sex with you?

Mmmguy:
Plz I know there are men on this forum that has ed through what I'm facing.


I am a working class young man in his early 20s, my fiancee is in her final year in the university. She will have to do internship before service, so basically she still needs at least 3 years b4 she can settle down. she is younger than me. She is a virgin and I'm her first. She wanted us to wait till marriage which is still 3 yrs away based on her education. Our parents are aware of the relationship, so also is our religious leaders. I am not a virgin and as such it's difficult to wait. My job exposes me to different beautiful girls everyday and I give some free rides sometimes. In fact, I have one who intends to visit me this coming weekend but I haven't given her my final response. I have resorted to masturbation in order to quench my thirst for sex but it's not working.

She has made it known to me that she will rather quit than have sex before marriage.

My options are either to cheat or end the relationship ( I don't know of any other option for now). The latter is tough considering that we have both made sacrifices for the relationship, also her parents take me as their son. She is actually very good in other aspects including respect, submission, cooking, dressing etc. I don't want to loose a good woman yet I find it impossible to convince her. But I'm dying of konji everyday.

Anybody who has ed through this stage should pls give me the best advice.

P. S For the trolls here, I intentionally avoided romance section in order to get mature responses, so I wont dignify u with a response if u want to troll me.

Nice one guy, my advice don’t ever talk about sex to her again,period! Just see her as ur sister. Anyway pM me let’s chat very well, I can be of good help to u

Una harsh o
haba!!!

I'm not suprised of the comments I'm seeing
I pity anyone that takes his/her relationship to nairaland because if you take their advise seriously such relationship will surely end. Op if you know you can't wait for her instead of cheating just break up, you couldn't have agreed innitialy when you know you won't cope with the no sex law cos cheating might cause something you don't want. You can still marry her now than waiting for 3years talk to her about it and make her understand you and your needs
Goodluck

Pipedreams:
Baba cheat on her. While u keep her and her virgin talk one side. Your young and can never be young twice. She's a woman and sorry I don't trust women. A correct G may come along with a Benz and sweet mouth and f*ck this your glorified virgin.

Like I experienced in my school in Awka. I met a cute year 2 girl who promised her boyfriend not to cheat cos she's saving it for marriage . Well I had already graduated and bought a Camry muscle which was still a fancy car back then in 2013. I drove it to school and gave her mad trips. She fell and I disvirgined her and f*cked her two more times before I left the school. Can you imagine she told her so called boyfriend in tears?that shes no more a virgin and she regrets giving it out to me but still loves him. She even gave him my number. Nigga called me and was sounding emotional on the phone almost in tears like how could I have taken advantage of her after she genuinely told me she was serious with someone but I still carried on to bed his long time GF and that I'm wicked and all. That he must fight me if we jam. I ask am: bros did I r*pe her? Which kain stupid talk be dat. I deleted her number and blocked her off.

Moral lesson: Guy dont trust any thing that bleeds for 5days and does not die!!

Is this something to be proud of??...you should be ashamed of yourself. What if someone does this to your sister or wife??. We live in the world where men are proud of how many girls they disvirgined like there is a trophy for it. Good riddance.

So you wanna give up a working relationship with a wonderful woman cos of sex??....... you are in your early twenties so it's save to say you r not mature! (No Offense intended). A mature man will understand that good women are not easy to come by this days. Besides, after the sex? what next?? its not like you would die if you don't have sex!!...why not try as much as you can to control yourself and think of other things other than sex. Trust me if you cheat on that girl with other girls you will lose her, and if you leave her because of sex you will regret it. It will be your lose. And you will realise sex is not everything at all..... a lot of other things matters.


Good morning.

In the meantime. Check my signature to grab this new device

I think she's not just ready to be put in the family way yet, that is, having kids which may be a burden with her schooling.

You may be surprised to see that if you ask her to marry you but wait until she's done to start having kids, she might have a rethink. It's a phobia I guess - parenting.

Well, you guys may love each other but how long have you known each other. Can you wait, if not, take a bow. If she's just gullible, she'll regret it that she allowed a good man go because of her naievity, immaturity and unreadiness; yes, even if she gets married to someone else.

I don't blame you for wanting to get intimate with her as far as you have good intentions but who's to be blamed for delaying you? Opportunity is not easily gotten these days.

As for the lady who wants to spend the weekend, DON'T DO IT!

UNTIL IT'S OVER, IT'S NOT OVER.

Mmmguy:
Plz I know there are men on this forum that has ed through what I'm facing.


I am a working class young man in his early 20s, my fiancee is in her final year in the university. She will have to do internship before service, so basically she still needs at least 3 years b4 she can settle down. she is younger than me. She is a virgin and I'm her first. She wanted us to wait till marriage which is still 3 yrs away based on her education. Our parents are aware of the relationship, so also is our religious leaders. I am not a virgin and as such it's difficult to wait. My job exposes me to different beautiful girls everyday and I give some free rides sometimes. In fact, I have one who intends to visit me this coming weekend but I haven't given her my final response. I have resorted to masturbation in order to quench my thirst for sex but it's not working.

She has made it known to me that she will rather quit than have sex before marriage.

My options are either to cheat or end the relationship ( I don't know of any other option for now). The latter is tough considering that we have both made sacrifices for the relationship, also her parents take me as their son. She is actually very good in other aspects including respect, submission, cooking, dressing etc. I don't want to loose a good woman yet I find it impossible to convince her. But I'm dying of konji everyday.

Anybody who has ed through this stage should pls give me the best advice.

P. S For the trolls here, I intentionally avoided romance section in order to get mature responses, so I wont dignify u with a response if u want to troll me.

@OP:

Your problem is that you and your girl are mixing and matching.

How?

You cannot have a relationship, claim to 'love' the person and yet not desire sex.

It is natural just like hunger.

What you two are doing is cooking delicious meals and pastries with the aroma all over the house at 12 noon when you want to break your fast at 9pm.

In plain English?

If you want to have a no sex relationship, don't date..... wait till a year plus or two you are ready to marry.... approach the girl you are sure is the one and study her character. When you are set, get married.

You are doing it the 'worldly' way to achieve 'godly' results. Take stats of people who waited until marriage and investigate what is common to all of them (religious or not).

And truthfully, if your girl has not shown any restrained sexual desire for you, then there is something wrong with the feelings she professed for you.

My advise: get married or end the relationship. You can decide to delay kids until she is done with school.

There is also no difference between her giving you BJ or whatever and the actual sex if she is staying pure for the spiritual aspect and one day, you guys will have sex.

Goodluck.

zaragal:
So you wanna give up a working relationship with a wonderful woman cos of sex??....... you are in your early twenties so it's save to say you r not mature! (No Offense intended). A mature man will understand that good women are not easy to come by this days. Besides, after the sex? what next?? its not like you would doie if you don't have sex!!...why not try as much as you can to control yourself and think of other things other than sex. Trust me if you cheat on that girl with other girls you will lose her, and if you leave her because of sex you will regret it. It will be to lose. And you will realise sex is not everything at all..... a lot of other things matters.


Good morning.

In the meantime. Check my signature to grab this new device

Rid yourself of this mentality before you get married if you want to have a fulfilling sex life except if you have a different code for the married.

The OP is one of the most mature 20+ guys I know.

What do guys want?

In one moment they are desiring virgins for marriage and in the next moment they have a problem waiting for the so called virgin.

Unserious

bukatyne:


Rid yourself of this mentality before you get married if you want to have a fulfilling sex life except if you have a different code for the married.

The OP is one of the most mature 20+ guys I know.

So I should encourage sex before marriage like it's not wrong smply because it now a norm??. What in what I wrote is a wrong mentality??

Young lady, I believe I am entitle to my own opinion and you are entitle to yours so please respect that I am not you and you are not me. Thnx!

Dyt:
Self control
Be determinant
Be willing
Stay focus

buhahahhahahah
Person talk say konji don drive am to masturbate and you are preaching self control

@OP
Consider the following:
No guarantee her needs won't change after the 3 years
3 years is a long term to suppress something you've highlighted to be very important to you
Is she truly a virgin?


It's better to let her know you going to cheat or simply break up with her since sex is equally important to you

Dami12345:
Lol.

Its your life, look I regret the girls I didn't fuvk, because of stupid reasons like this.
Lemme give you a situation, imagine you starve yourself, then find out that your "virgin" was fuvked during nysc? What would you do??.
What about if she's playing you?
What if she gets assurance from another guy and dumps you?

She could also be a virgin that has experimented all sort but manliness penetration. Virginity isn't an indicator or contributing factor to future outcome

jaybee3:


buhahahhahahah
Pmu

Funny thing
I just thought about you

Guy, 3 years is far. I know you will sleep with someone else before then, yet you appreciate her virginity and want her to remain that way for you. What if she makes a mistake one cold night and sleeps with her male friend? Guy you will hate urself if another man enter there first if she's truly a virgin

Solution; tell her parent and yours that you want to marry her but she can complete her education and you will pay(if there's money). You don't need big wedding, as a young man, go to court for simple wedding, go to your pastor for prayers on your Union. Postpone celebration until 5 years time. Postpone child bearing until two of u are ready. Finish!!, have sex freely with her after that.

Dyt:


Funny thing
I just thought about you

awwwwww niceeeeee