NewStats: 3,261,293 , 8,173,634 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 07:09 PM t522i

I got married two years ago with a kid and the one in the womb we are expecting by February next year. My wife is doing her NYSC presently and will be free around April next year.
I work in a company which i started working before getting married and i hv some savings.The condition of my job is no longer comfortable to me due to constant threat of sack and incessant sacking of workers. We work so hard that many a times i got so weak after work and it affects my conjugal union with my wife due to tiredness. My monthly salary is 100k but before the months end i will be left wt nothing considering other extended expenses as taking care of my aged parents and younger siblings.If you ask me i will choose to leave the job if i find a better alternative that will maximize my income and job satisfaction but where is the job!.
Presently,i have started learning a job that i started 4 months ago hoping to start mine by January next year. At startment,i may not be getting enough(50% lower) but with time and determination i can make 50 to 100% and above of my present salary.
Now comes my worries,i have been transferred to another state by my company. I work in Benin but have been transferred to Enugu. What should i do now considering that my wife is still doing her service and pregnant too. I used to assist her a lot due to her condition and leaving her alone in Benin while i would be in Enugu alone at this early stage of our marriage is not a good idea to me.
We would hv relocated to Enugu together but her NYSC is the bottleneck.
Pls i need any good advice on the step to follow that i wont regret or if u have experienced that b4,let me know how you solved it and get satisfied.

This touched me, I see a man that loves his wife...

A very dicey situation we have here. Moving with her is out of it, running two homes is extremely expensive considering your financial capability.

*How far has she gone in her NYSC? They might be touched to redeploy her. That's even stress and unnecessary bureaucracy.

*Do you have family/friends in Benin, who wouldn't mind her staying with them temporarily? (It isn't ideal to leave a pregnant woman all by herself) or someone you can squat with in Enugu_ so you don't have to pay another rent there.

*Get her a househelp, her sibling or a friend/fellow corp member she is in good with to come live with her .

Whatever you do, don't quit your job. Preparing for a child ain't beans! You alone know the real situation of things, captain your ship the best way you can.
Heavens guide your family.

Tough situation, in whatever decision u make now dnt leave ur wife and kid alone. if u hv a relative he or she can assist ur wife till u relocate after her NYSC.

The situation isn't all bad afterall.


But I think u need to do some planning n have a budget.

I won't suggest u quit ur job before they fire u. Who knows wat d new business has to offer.

If u have a female sibling or someone that can be assisting ur wife once in a while, that won't be a bad idea.

All d best.

Reduce your wailing and face the situation headlong as a man. Since she's not through with her service....why not go to Enugu and plan against next year April when she will put to bed. Before then u would have been more stable and might even relocate her with you. You guys need endurance and understanding of your critical condition.

Chai. D lord is ur strength

yomi007k:
The situation isn't all bad afterall.


But I think u need to do some planning n have a budget.

I won't suggest u quit ur job before they fire u. Who knows wat d new business has to offer.

If u have a female sibling or someone that can be assisting ur wife once in a while, that won't be a bad idea.

All d best.

The female sibling i hv is wt my mum,she's schooling.

Get a relative to stay and take care of your wife, preferably a mother, then move to Enugu, at the same time try and start your business as fast as you can for security purpose.

DEGABA:
The female sibling i hv is wt my mum,she's schooling.

But are they not all together in Benin?


Wat abt ur mum?

NiRfreak:
Reduce your wailing and face the situation headlong as a man. Since she's not through with her service....why not go to Enugu and plan against next year April when she will put to bed. Before then u would have been more stable and might even relocate her with you. You guys need endurance and understanding of your critical condition.

Bros,its not easy,i used to talk like this when am a bachelor bt i now understand hw it feels. She's 5 months pregnant wt a 17 months old baby,leaving her alone,God it wl be a terrible situation for me.

imas:
Get a relative to stay and take care of your wife, preferably a mother, then move to Enugu, at the same time try and start your business as fast as you can for security purpose.

yomi007k:

But are they not all together in Benin?

Wat abt ur mum? aged,in the village wt our youngest female sibling

DEGABA:
Wat abt ur mum? aged,in the village wt our youngest female sibling

Ur wife's relations?

DEGABA:
Bros,its not easy,i used to talk like this when am a bachelor bt i now understand hw it feels. She's 5 months pregnant wt a 17 months old baby,leaving her alone,God it wl be a terrible situation for me.

Shun that guy. This is NL _ you would get opinions from

1: People who have no clue whatsoever on what marriage is all about.
2: People who have been through such and dealt with the situation one way or another.
3: People who truly care and understand your pains. They would give you honest advice, which may or may not help the reality of your situation.
4: ‎People who are actually trained to give counsel on marital issues.
5: People who handle(d) their family/marital issues haphazardly, saw the consequences and are out to spread that consequence

I no send this op's labe orun tale, I'm only stalking this poster above me in order to bang her! HARD!!!

Whatever happens....don't quit your job

The OP truly loves his wife.

I'm not married, so I can't claim to understand your situation. But, from what you wrote here, there' re two important things to consider because every other thing depends on it.

1. How much savings do you have, can it last you for at least a year?

2. How soon can your business kick off in of profitability? Will it exceed the maximum period your savings can last you?

If the answer to 1 and 2 is yes, you can quit your job and stay close to your family.


If the answer is no, you can't quit your job. Both of you have to find a way to adapt to the situation. People have survived worst situations. If you can hire a househelp for your wife the better, at least standard of living in Benin is quite low.

The way I see it, there's no right or wrong decision here. Just tough decision that will help toughen your family and build you guys to outlast tougher times.

Wish you all the best.

Op you for slow down on your procreation since

1. You income isnt very good

2. Your job isnt stable

3. Your wife isnt working to you yet

2yrs of marriage and 2 looks like a rush

Regarding your new business you know everything is a risk even business, Assuming the business doesnt pay off for like 6months how would your family survive?

the good thing about NYSC is their respect for marriage especially as it affects couples getting the opportunity to be together. April is a long while from here, so my advice would be that you seek for relocation on behalf of your wife; that wouldn't be a big deal so long as both of you are legally married.

I think a house help is the answer here Sir

Benin to Enugu is not really that far. You can always shuttle home during weekend

Also inform your mum and your siblings to keep an eye on her while you were away.

But my brother, did you just say you were tired after work and you don't have time for................

please I suggest you stop kidding yourself. no one is as busy as you do. 2years of marriage with two kids?
In my Opinion, I think your company deliberately transferred you because the way i see it Hmmmmmmm,

In four years Time it will be.........,

how I wish my dear Nairaland family, can help me out here and forecast it like weather channel.....

Richy4:
I think a house help is the answer here Sir

Benin to Enugu is not really that far. You can always shuttle home during weekend

Tnks,I wl consider this.

mcdokwe:
the good thing about NYSC is their respect for marriage especially as it affects couples getting the opportunity to be together. April is a long while from here, so my advice would be that you seek for relocation on behalf of your wife; that wouldn't be a big deal so long as both of you are legally married.

God bless u,I wl be very happy if this works,I wl try it.

raumdeuter:
Op you for slow down on your procreation since

1. You income isnt very good

2. Your job isnt stable

3. Your wife isnt working to you yet

2yrs of marriage and 2 looks like a rush

Regarding your new business you know everything is a risk even business, Assuming the business doesnt pay off for like 6months how would your family survive?

Tnks for ur advice bt the procreation part lol.no be God dey give pikin, some people married for several years and one never enter there home.

YourCoffin:
I'm not married, so I can't claim to understand your situation. But, from what you wrote here, there' re two important things to consider because every other thing depends on it.

1. How much savings do you have, can it last you for at least a year?

2. How soon can your business kick off in of profitability? Will it exceed the maximum period your savings can last you?

If the answer to 1 and 2 is yes, you can quit your job and stay close to your family.


If the answer is no, you can't quit your job. Both of you have to find a way to adapt to the situation. People have survived worst situations. If you can hire a househelp for your wife the better, at least standard of living in Benin is quite low.

The way I see it, there's no right or wrong decision here. Just tough decision that will help toughen your family and build you guys to outlast tougher times.

Wish you all the best.

my regards.

DEGABA:
I got married two years ago with a kid and the one in the womb we are expecting by February next year. My wife is doing her NYSC presently and will be free around April next year.
I work in a company which i started working before getting married and i hv some savings.The condition of my job is no longer comfortable to me due to constant threat of sack and incessant sacking of workers. We work so hard that many a times i got so weak after work and it affects my conjugal union with my wife due to tiredness. My monthly salary is 100k but before the months end i will be left wt nothing considering other extended expenses as taking care of my aged parents and younger siblings.If you ask me i will choose to leave the job if i find a better alternative that will maximize my income and job satisfaction but where is the job!.
Presently,i have started learning a job that i started 4 months ago hoping to start mine by January next year. At startment,i may not be getting enough(50% lower) but with time and determination i can make 50 to 100% and above of my present salary.
Now comes my worries,i have been transferred to another state by my company. I work in Benin but have been transferred to Enugu. What should i do now considering that my wife is still doing her service and pregnant too. I used to assist her a lot due to her condition and leaving her alone in Benin while i would be in Enugu alone at this early stage of our marriage is not a good idea to me.
We would hv relocated to Enugu together but her NYSC is the bottleneck.
Pls i need any good advice on the step to follow that i wont regret or if u have experienced that b4,let me know how you solved it and get satisfied.

u are a great husband and family man. I think ur wife should seek for redeployment or she should quit nysc for now. Its the best soln ryt now since u can't quit ur job coz u are the breadwinner.