NewStats: 3,261,189 , 8,173,346 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 01:55 PM 3t75a

apprentist:

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Bookmark my post to come back to it later.

You have to be selfish and leave religion out of your calculations and be a bit selfish because as a man when she keeps denying you sex and you say divorce is not an option, one day out of being starved of sex by your wife, you may end up impregnating one of her relatives or your house girl because no amount of religion can calm an erect penis that needs feeding unless we want to deceive ourselves and you already said that 40% of the time that she denies you sex on the guise of her being tired that she is not tired but only trying to punish you in your own words - i.e she is using sex as a weapon against you and using you as a childminder whilst she focuses mainly on her job.

Once your wife starts denying you sex, that marriage is practically over and she values her job MORE than her marriage or her childrens well being and if you have not yet started doing so already, you will eventually have to start cooking proper food for your kids when you start noticing signs of malnourishment in the corners of your kids mouths because she is too busy with her work and will only have a few minutes to give them bread, butter and jam instead of cooking them proper nutritious meals.

I saw in one of your posts from 2020 that you planned to collect or that you even collected a salary loan to give to your wife and now that same "so called" wife has the guts to deny you sex as a form of punishment

E be like say when God created us men, he inserted a mumu button inside the brains of ALL of us because i can't understand why us men no dey learn from the bitter lessons of other men or even ourselves who have been betrayed by women we helped in the past and we still FOOLISHLY lay down our cards for a new undeserving woman and ignore a lot of our needs to help empower another woman financially when that same woman WILL turn around and betray us or deny us sex sooner or later in spite of the financial stress we went through to set the ungrateful cow up in business or to pay for her education.

A man will only rest from the dangers of women including his wife and mother of his kids the day he dies and even after death, he still may not be allowed to rest in peace by his wife who may still be bad mouthing him to his kids after his death.

Bottom line is that once a woman starts on this trajectory of ignoring her husbands needs, she will NEVER stop doing so.

Go and write this down. Her job is more important than you or the marriage.

THE HAND WRITING IS ON THE WALL.

Similar to my case Bro
I am planning of marrying a second wife
Ending this Year

Kobojunkie:
Reading through the OP and several other comments, you would almost think these individuals were talking of some Stewpid child they were raising or accommodating for selfish benefits. A woman worked really hard to build her career then chose to get married afterwards but here is the man she married essentially stating she would need to abandon all of her hard work for the sake of his dick. 🤔

After making her quit, he will later get resentful he has to fully cater for all her needs when the businesses fail because he wants 24hr attention, start calling her lazy down the line and fall for another career woman outside who lures him with gifts

It’s the Nigerian man script. Imagine wanting to strip a person of her job to send her to school and start a business for her like she is his kid because he wants more time for sex

A job she had before she met him. Demonic entity 😃

apprentist:

I specially like the idea of house help. But with the way I am now, I'd have sex with the house help. And I can't even allow a young girl because it would be too risky.

My friend papa give their house girl belle and "maybe" na my friend Mama cause am by denying him sex. If my wife deny me sex, I will start nacking outside.

I was monogamous with my Ex for the first 9 and a half years of marriage until she started denying me sex and using sex as a weapon / punishment. It just took a visit to one t like than and the resT is history and the lady in question was younger and more agile than the woman wey dey deny me sex for house.

Baba you need to help yourself before you get caught nacking your neighbours housegirl or your wife's sister or cousin.

Early morning erection is a daily occurrence for EVERY normal man and that erection needs to be calmed EVERYDAY.

Oniyawo kan o kuro lapon.

(Person wey get only one wife na still bachelor hin be because when that one wife denies him sex, he automatically becomes a bachelor over again).

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

get a beautiful black house help or maid

Maysdevices:
➜After making her quit, he will later get resentful he has to fully cater for all her needs when the businesses fail because he wants 24hr attention, start calling her lazy down the line and fall for another career woman outside who lures him with gifts
It’s the Nigerian man script. Imagine wanting to strip a person of her job to send her to school and start a business for her like she is his kid because he wants more time for sex
A job she had before she met him. Demonic entity 😃

His comments seem geared towards stripping the woman of intelligence and maturity like she is a doll for him to turn as he wills, in this case, according to the whims of his dick. It is very sad!

apprentist:


It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x , give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

Baba, the minute your wife humiliates you to the point of begging her for sex, it means she now hates your guts and she WILL do anything to humiliate you daily.

Its up to you if you want to stay in a LOVELESS MARRIAGE in the name of letting your kids grow up in a lovely home.

Forget what your Pastor and his wife are displaying to the public. Remove the fat salary the pastor is collecting from your tithes and offerings to fund his wife's expensive lifestyles and you will see that the wife will dump his sorry ass the next day.

Do you think your wife can not ask for a divorce and mess up the so called family you are trying to build for your her children or do you think that if God forbid you die today that your children will not survive without you

apprentist:



Thank you so much for the advice. It means a lot to me.

I specially like the idea of house help. But with the way I am now, I'd have sex with the house help. And I can't even allow a young girl because it would be too risky.

..then go for a male house maid

Mariangeles:


Selfishness is one spouse demanding the other to give up a part of their life, just so they'd always be available to them whenever.

For there to be fulfilment in the marriage, what they need to do is find a balance.

Who would want their spouse to be unfulfilled for their own selfish needs?

Firstly there's nothing selfish about a woman making time for sex or her kids. A lot of people miss the point. He's not doing it for himself, rather it's for the family.

If it's all about him don't U think he can get the sex from any other woman apart from her? He needs her attention, the kids need their mother but she's ignoring everything and focusing solely on her work. Now tell me who's being selfish here?

If it's the other way round, say the man neglects her intimate needs and bonding time with the kids, leaves home around 5:30 AM before anyone is fully awake and comes back around 10pm when everyone has slept. I know U wouldn't be singing same song here.

Do U know child neglect is an abuse and it causes trauma, which can impair brain development and is linked to physical, emotional, and behavioral issues in the affected kids later in life?

Child abuse & neglect have long-term effects on the child and the community and is the most pervasive form of child abuse today. It robs children of the childhood they deserve. Something that is their right. So tell me now who amongst the parents is being selfish and self centered here?

Who is putting themselves above the needs of everyone else as a family? Who amongst them is sacrificing family on the altar of 9-5 like a lot of people do today? And the consequences are obvious in society. Confused, weak and unstable kids who grow up to be so as adults and then those who made them that way will be expecting more from them when U reaping just what U have sown . How can U expect something else? You see it as his own immediate needs but it's the needs of the family as a unit.

Firstly what kind of job is she doing? If it is a government work, then let her continue. If she is working for a private firm, then it depends on how much she is bringing home and the significance of her pay to the home.
Secondly, can you afford to pay her as a monthly stipend what that job is paying her, or at least something close? If you can, then encourage her to resign from the job, if it is a private firm. There is no job as tasking as raising your kids and catering for family.
Thirdly, plan a business for her that will enable her earn a living, and interact with a fast developing world around her.
As for sex, try and reduce your libido. You can't be making love everyday. In today's world, there are more important things to worry about than having sex 24/7.

My opinion may rattle you a bit. But as a father of four kids and a husband to a lovely wife, I know what I am telling you. I wish you the best of your married life 💖

Kobojunkie:
His comments seem geared towards stripping the woman of intelligence and maturity like she is a doll for him to turn as he wills, in this case, according to the whims of his dick. It is very sad!

What is sad is the short sightedness of most of U supposed ladies which is appalling cos it's just a reflection of the sort of ladies we have in society. It's always about U. The only thing y'all can pick out from the man's complaints and frustration is his dick? Shallow and empty and I'm not even surprised

dkidd:
➜What is sad is the short sightedness of most of U supposed ladies which is appalling cos it's just a reflection of the sort of ladies we have in society. It's always about U. The only thing y'all can pick out from the man's complaints and frustration is his dick? Shallow and empty and I'm not even surprised

But that is his major concern after all. He is not worried about his kids or his wife's health and safety but his dick! Look at the numerous comments instructing him to either get a side-chick or a second wife, all in order that his dick may receive regular servicing. So, why are pretending it is all not about his dick here? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

apprentist:



Thank you so much for the advice. It means a lot to me.

I specially like the idea of house help. But with the way I am now, I'd have sex with the house help. And I can't even allow a young girl because it would be too risky.

Get a mature woman over 50 to come help with housework during the day and go home at night.

That is why I stated that what they need is to find a balance, like the wife looking for another job that can afford her time for her family [It is possible].
Not the husband outrightly telling her to quit her job.

Wetin op really want na that COVID-19/honeymoon phase wey them don , and e no go dey possible since children don dey involved.

dkidd:


Firstly there's nothing selfish about a woman making time for sex or her kids. A lot of people miss the point. He's not doing it for himself, rather it's for the family.

If it's all about him don't U think he can get the sex from any other woman apart from her? He needs her attention, the kids need their mother but she's ignoring everything and focusing solely on her work. Now tell me who's being selfish here?

If it's the other way round, say the man neglects her intimate needs and bonding time with the kids, leaves home around 5:30 AM before anyone is fully awake and comes back around 10pm when everyone has slept. I know U wouldn't be singing same song here.

Do U know child neglect is an abuse and it causes trauma, which can impair brain development and is linked to physical, emotional, and behavioral issues in the affected kids later in life?

Child abuse & neglect have long-term effects on the child and the community and is the most pervasive form of child abuse today. It robs children of the childhood they deserve. Something that is their right. So tell me now who amongst the parents is being selfish and self centered here?

Who is putting themselves above the needs of everyone else as a family? Who amongst them is sacrificing family on the altar of 9-5 like a lot of people do today? And the consequences are obvious in society. Confused, weak and unstable kids who grow up to be so as adults and then those who made them that way will be expecting more from them when U reaping just what U have sown . How can U expect something else? You see it as his own immediate needs but it's the needs of the family as a unit.

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Take advice from only married men,
1. Let her be, it's all women, sex is no longer top of her priority, that should be the same for you too.
2. Don't allow her to dictate when to do it, do it anytime you want, put her in the mood, damn it.
3. Get sex outside while showing her love and care.
4. Understand and her carrier

Get a Nanny.

10fingers =👇👇

Exceed15:
Ok, give her an impression there's another woman.(or get one sef ).her brain go reset. No woman likes rival. Stop tormenting yourself.

you're a foolish man, w home breaker. Omo. The number of failures I see in this comment ehh advising this man. All I see I pure self-centredness. No woman ever ever wants to work herself to death. That man clearly doesn't earn enough for the home. This man still doesn't understand why the wife needs financial security from him. He has definitely said things that threatened her security and she's not going to play with it. Y'all are wicked for your foolish advise. Let him go ahead and destroy his home. You know God walks in mysterious ways. Na better and richer husband go marry the wife.

DeipTruth:
you're a foolish man, w home breaker. Omo. The number of failures I see in this comment ehh advising this man. All I see I pure self-centredness. No woman ever ever wants to work herself to death. That man clearly doesn't earn enough for the home. This man still doesn't understand why the wife needs financial security from him. He has definitely said things that threatened her security and she's not going to play with it. Y'all are wicked for your foolish advise. Let him go ahead and destroy his home. You know God walks in mysterious ways. Na better and richer husband go marry the wife.

Interesting detail to all of this.

YemyTemmy:
➜Getting urself a side chic isn't cheating...Abi u wan cheat nature Abi u wan make prostrate Kee you....if you kpai, ur wife and kids will move on fast.... Ur case is similar to a neighbour who is a pastor, he was sex starved, he no dey nack, he just died of prostrate cancer

. Abstinence or lack of sex causes prostate cancer? It is 2025, yet this useless myth is still being used to deceive the gullible into throwing it all away for the sake of sex. WOW!

MaziObinnaokija:
dnt be tired/RETIRED nor let her quit her job.Some biz are struggling/some are making it. Be sweet,E GO BETTER

How many are making it compared to the number that have gone bust in the last 5 months of this year alone? Imagine suggesting business as a replacement for what seems to be a stable job in the current economy?

apprentist:


See eh... I had to type this here cus I've run out of ideas. Don't know who to talk to or even next step to take.
Back then I used to blame men for cheating or fighting with their wife. But now, I'm pushed to do either.

Welcome to the club, sir!

I'm sure you know what to do, else, see you, see prostate cancer. Black men kuku are the highest risk category.

abbey621:
➜You're simply selfish and one sided! You think a woman's entire existence is to satisfy you and raise children? Did you even consider that her fixation on work is to escape the children and the stress that comes with it? Did you ever consider that your sexual appetite is way beyond what she can keep up it?
Your idea of business is a good one but can you also give her monthly allowance and hire a maid/nanny? a woman that's stressed and unhappy can never ever priotize freaky freaky over the things stressing her!
If you want to win this battle, you have to see things from her point of view, it's the only way to tackle the root cause rather than the symptoms!

A good one in the same Nigeria that we all know of today, abi na for some fantastical place somewhere?
Also, his woman is having to work herself like a horse for the sake of her career— maybe she is expecting promotion of some sort —a career she worked hard on before she met him. Why does she need to let it go for the sake of his dick?

Kobojunkie:
A good one in the same Nigeria that we all know of today, abi na for some fantastical place somewhere?
Also, his woman is having to work herself like a horse for the sake of her career— maybe she is expecting promotion of some sort —a career she worked hard on before she met him. Why does she need to let it go for the sake of his dick?

She does not need to do anything, if he plays his cards right, she'll willingly do it......Gone are the days of forcing women to do ANYTHING!

@apprentist Mr. Man go into the bathroom and relieve yourself like you did before you got married.
Be grateful that you have a productive wife with a JOB and that she bore you children.

You too like sex . May be the lady don't want to have more kids that's why she's denying you sex. You guys should go for family planning, that would assure her she won't unwanted pregnancy anytime- then she'll give you enough Bleep.

Mariangeles:
That is why I stated that what they need is to find a balance, like the wife looking for another job that can afford her time for her family [It is possible].
Not the husband outrightly telling her to quit her job.

Wetin op really want na that COVID-19/honeymoon phase wey them don , and e no go dey possible since children don dey involved.

And she will still quit the job which is too draining and demanding for another one.

And I believe he's just fed up with her constant excuses to denying him his conjugal rights which is normal for even a man that gets it elsewhere as I do believe at some point they'll miss intimacy with thier wives. It's just a terrible situation to be in especially him being the type that doesn't cheat naturally. Another man would get it elsewhere and stop bothering her completely.

MrCaesar:
Get a Nanny.

To do what exactly? Quench his desires or raise the kids. Lol Una dey play with Una lives. Nanny indeed 😁

Mariangeles:


Selfishness is one spouse demanding the other to give up a part of their life, just so they'd always be available to them whenever.

For there to be fulfilment in the marriage, what they need to do is find a balance.

Who would want their spouse to be unfulfilled for their own selfish needs?

She knew how and who he was before saying yes to his proposal. She knows he has a high libido. So how does she expect him to cope from the steady denials? What sort of woman will deny her husband sex constantly because of work? It's possible she's getting it elsewhere because people do not just change. She used to like it now she detests it and according to op she even acts like he's irritating now so obviously he's most likely replaced. He's a good man sha. I pity the woman that will try sex as a tool with me under any guise lol a real pity 😂