NewStats: 3,261,119 , 8,173,092 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 09:45 AM 4qe2e

Why should you be tying down a lady who is already 29, you should cut her loose since you're not yet ready for marriage!

Discharge am make she dey go!

If she’s ready and you are not, then it’s best you let her go.

Marriage is a different pot of beans, it’ll change your direction in ways you can never imagine.

At 29, your biological clock and hers are very much different, so I don’t blame her.

No try carry person if you no get shoulder

lenghtinny:
✓ If she’s ready and you are not, then it’s best you let her go.
Marriage is a different pot of beans, it’ll change your direction in ways you can never imagine.
At 29, your biological clock and hers are very much different, so I don’t blame her.
No try carry person if you no get shoulder

All these wombwatchers ,oga o! .... Biological clock this and that's . .even women of over 50 are now able to have healthy babies thanks to advancements in medical science. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

That woman should equally be worried about her financial and psychological health as OP is. Yes, OP should leave her alone, not because of her biological clock, but mainly because he is not on the same wavelength as the woman; love is not meant to be used as a cage to cage those who love us. Someone said, "If you love someone, if you love someone, set them free!"

Fixing things first is very important

End the relationship now.

Never ever put yourself under pressure because of marriage.

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.
.

Marry her immediately. She's right. And things could get better after that.

Time is important. It has a joy on its own.

Marry her but do not have kids yet at all. Wait and see first

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before ing me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Let me advice you bro, I was in your shoe some years ago, exact same story, I also create a post for it here, seeking nairaland advice.

For your own sanity and future, if the pressure is becoming too much on you, please let her go. Starting a family is no joke, it involves 100% finance, you need to keep your finances in order before considering marriage.

I understand her own plight, age is no longer on her side, but if she can't wait for you, please don't get pressured into marriage when you are not ready for it.

You guys are not in the same space, if you marry her by pressure, you may regret it, you still have a long way to go man, just free her and focus on your grind.

Young man, you will be able to meet your financial goal on time if you got no pressure of marriage from anybody, so if the pressure is getting too much on you, please free her. I know it won't be easy but you will thank me later.

I dey speak from experience

Build yourself up first young man. A man that can not provide for his family always looks disgusting to the wife.

, she won't assist you in providing. Everything will be on your head. I don't see any consideration in her part if she is solely focused on getting married without considering your current pocket, brother you're going to create big problems for yourself.

The fact that she is solely fixated on the marriage without even considering whether you can handle the expenses and fed for her shows some elements of selfishness in the whole thing.

Marriage is not a child's play. Those that will advise you to go into marriage when you are not financially ready won't be there to assist you. And the woman that is pressuring you will be the first to water down all your efforts once you find it hard to provide for her. She will be the first to start comparing you to other men.

Look before you leap!

Don't kill yourself. End the relationship immediately. She will consider waiting if she really wants you and you can restart if she agrees to your conditions.

The more the years goes back since you've known, the more "cure" your relationship will be.
Strangers pretending to be friends is the hardest thing to endure.

Once I read reach middle I already understand ur point I don't need to finish, my bro from the point you make just live her and face ur business and finish the masters you are doing, cause even if you are given 3yrs for you to plan I don't think you will have the rest of mind and satisfaction of financial security to live ur life, so calm down don't rush as the saying goes their are always plenty fishes in the river you just have to use ur hook and pick. I repeat no rush, their is time for everything, just focus.

After 6 years who you wan leave am for?

You can still marry her while she remains here till in two years' time for you to make a concrete move

You can marry a Nigerian girl without you being around, your family will handle

It high time you men started to demand these girls make money and be financially ready to marry you. Y'all can't be doing this all the time, stressing yourselves.

Just imagine how the Op is stressing over a liability...just imagine!

Let her go!!!

For her, she is a lady and u need to consider that her time must not be wasted.. so it's either a marriage in sight or release her to go!
Now, for u, do u love her greatly, do u think u can easily get someone like her and that in canada? Do u think it might not be easy to get someone like her in canada? If so, i think u should just plan towards marrying her late next yr..that's still almost 2 yrs but at least she has something definite and u should have finished schooling by then. U should possibly think of relocating to the usa.. whatever it is, u should be able to weather the storm together (without children) for some time.

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before ing me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

You're a sensible, responsible man with a sharp understanding of life.
You're also a chronic simp.

A girl fixing a marriage timeline before her next birthday is simply vain.
She's in her emotional state where reason and caution is thrown out of the window.

She doesn't want to understand your LOGICAL excuses so long as that wish is fulfilled.


I don't want to pour sand in your garri but that behavior is in itself a massive red flag.

She will soon start doing things you won't approve of as a wife so long as they satisfy hr cravings.


A man has the responsibility of managing the chaotic nature of his woman.

If you fail in this regard and allow her to lead you on, she will destroy you both.


My advice; since you'll be the one shouldering the family responsibilities, the buck of when to marry stops at your table.

Marry ONLY when you're very comfortable.
From the day you get to meet her parents, you will continue dishing out money till infinity.

And once babies come into the picture, your financial responsibilities will keep increasing every year.

Btw, is she a virgin?

If she's not, tell her she's free to marry anyone else while you focus on your hustle.

When you're ready to settle down, you'll find younger, more beautiful well-cultured and even virgin achalugos to settle down with.

You want to marry your age mate who can manipulate you into unreasonable decisions?

Don't shortchange yourself Brotherman.

Guy focus on why you came to Canada and do your very best to improve on your financial status!

Marriage should be the least of your priorities for now!

If she wants to get married based on her target,then let her be and don't let her pressure you into taking a very important decision of your life in a haste!

All the best in your hustle!

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before ing me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Let her go

In life, don't allow woman to put pressure on you into

1. Marriage

2. Having kids

Cos when things go wrong, she will still put the blame on you

Loose her n let her go

Let her bounce ... if you are in Canada, there are many decent ladies here. Go to church and see for yourself.

Don't waste anytime. If you like her marry her.

Finding a good cultured woman while in Canada would never be easy. Marry this one you know now, other things will fall in place.

Validated:
Let her bounce ... if you are in Canada, there are many decent ladies here. Go to church and see for yourself.

That's not true.

All of you just put my brother into an incredible confusion right now. He wouldn't be able to think straight for a long time and I bet you all, you guys really gave very good and sincere advice but they are all very delicate advice. Difficult to adhere to one and at the same time inconsiderate to just ignore. I believe, it's only the OP that can decide for himself at this stage. Think only about yourself and your betterment first before making a decision. Do whatever that would benefit you personally, do your master's, get a good job, improve your standard of living. Put all these into consideration before making a final decision. Let me be frank with you, your gf must have thought things through and saw that you are the best bet to enhance her own personal progress and fulfillment in life. Presently, people have started thinking "me alone" and not "we" to ease the burden of lives and also to be able to make a quick progress. God shall direct your decision 🙏

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before ing me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

The answer you seek life will give to you and not people's comment on nairaland

My advise to you as someone who also lives in canada is this; if it is possible, find a good Nigerian lady to marry in Canada. That lady in Nigeria you think loves you so much, if you go marry her and sponsor her to come meet you in Canada, she can change o. Ask some Nigerian men that have gone back to Nigeria to marry and brought their wives to Canada. Some of these women don't have conscience when they start dealing with these men here o.

For the lady, I would advise her to move on. Telling her to wait for you for 2 years doesn't make sense. Within that 2 years, you can fall in love in Canada, marry in Canada while someone in Nigeria is waiting for you to come back to marry her.

Also, as a student in Canada yet to be a PR, going back to Nigeria to marry, then coming back to Canada, then applying to sponsor her to you will really tell on your finances. Na from booking flight to and from Nigeria na you go first feel am. It would have been easier if you were a PR. But as a student? E nor go easy o. And God forbid She later switch on you after coming to Canada, you nor go forgive yourself.

If you marry her now because she is rushing you for marriage, when challenges comes,one day she'll still insult you that she regrets rushing the marriage....fear this gender at all cost

“If you love something, let it go.”

This is an amazing example.

Assuming she's your sister, what will you advise her to do? Apply your answers to your case.

Better do what you have to do, so you don't start getting notifications from your kids in heaven that they want to come to earth from the realm ... Told my friend why me and not the mother, he said I carried the seeds ... Me I just ed Father Abraham.

immortalcrown:
Her desperation for marriage seems to be the secret of her love for you.

Marry when you are willing and capable, not because you are being pressured.

She is waiting on you for marriage because she has not found another man that meets her requirements. But you might think that she is rejecting good men for your sake. A woman who is desperate for marriage goes into it with a man not because she loves him nor because he loves her. She goes into the marriage because he is ready.

If she is yours, she will not be able to find another man until you are ready to marry her. If she finds another man now that you are not ready, she is not yours. Don't ask her to wait for you. What if she waits and you later choose another person?

Never blame anybody for leaving one relationship into another due to history of regret from people who have done so. Sometimes you will wait for a guy and he will end up marrying someone else or never ready. That 2 years he said is never guaranteed because anything can happen in the space of two years.

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before ing me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Let her go..

Otherwise, see you see regrets. I love you no dey pay bills.

Otherwise same her,go change am for you if you can't provide.