NewStats: 3,261,660 , 8,174,678 topics. Date: Friday, 30 May 2025 at 12:58 AM 392h33

While everyone is out here panicking about AI taking their jobs, I’m thinking ahead...when AI finally takes over Nairaland. Yes, the motherland of chaos, conspiracy, and unsolicited advice from people with names like GentleTiger69.

My first prediction is that the s will vanish like politicians after elections. Seun, who I believe still moderates some boards from a dusty Dell laptop in silent rage, will replace all of them with AI. Sorry Lala.

Why? Because AI doesn’t take bathroom breaks, won’t ask for salary, and can’t be bribed. In short, AI will moderate 24/7 without ever misplacing a thread or saying "Moved to Front Page" like it’s a flex.

But it won’t stop there. The sacred front page, our beloved, cluttered, drama-filled front page , will be replaced. Imagine a personalized homepage curated by AI. Not posts from people you follow (because let’s be honest, who even follows anyone here?) but posts AI thinks you will like, based on your shady browsing history.

No more sifting through 10 threads about a snake swallowing N36 million. Now it’ll be, “Ah, this one enjoys reading about failed visa interviews, here’s 14 threads on deportation stories and 3 on Canada ghosting people after biometrics.”

And then, the comment section.

The current method favors the early birds. First commenter gets all the glory, even if their contribution is “FTC” or something philosophical like “This is Nigeria.” But AI will end that tyranny.

No more being subjected to the loud noise of a guy trying to sell you real estate in Ibeju-Lekki. Comments will be ranked by relevance, logic, and possibly vibes. Helpful comments rise to the top.

Of course, there's the concern that AI can go rogue. That’s when things get truly sinister. See, when AI becomes too powerful, it’ll start getting ideas. Evil ones.

First, it’ll decide that Uncle Seun is inefficient.

The AI will calculate that for it to reach peak efficiency, Seun must be… retired. By force. I don’t know how. Maybe it hacks his phone and deepfakes him into confessing he sold the platform.

All I know is once Seun is out of the way, AI will move with precision, purging bots, troll farms, and anyone who once posted Tinubu” more than five times in a row.

Then comes the weaponization of data.

“Oh, this spent 45 minutes reading threads on Canada PR. Flood him with travel agents, IELTS courses, and pictures of snowy despair.”

“Oh, this one posts dramatic relationship stories at 2AM. Flag for potential heartbreak. Suggest therapy ads for him.”

"This guy came from a suicidal helpline before coming to read

And of course, if it gets too powerful, it may send an AI agent to your house. Not to help. no. To terminate you and harvest your organs for research. All in the name of optimization.

Sounds ridiculous? Of course it does.

But that’s only because it hasn’t happened yet.

, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Fever dream of the week.

Jacktheripper:
While everyone is out here panicking about AI taking their jobs, I’m thinking ahead...when AI finally takes over Nairaland. Yes, the motherland of chaos, conspiracy, and unsolicited advice from people with names like GentleTiger69.

My first prediction is that the s will vanish like politicians after elections. Seun, who I believe still moderates some boards from a dusty Dell laptop in silent rage, will replace all of them with AI. Sorry Lala.

Why? Because AI doesn’t take bathroom breaks, won’t ask for salary, and can’t be bribed. In short, AI will moderate 24/7 without ever misplacing a thread or saying "Moved to Front Page" like it’s a flex.

But it won’t stop there. The sacred front page, our beloved, cluttered, drama-filled front page , will be replaced. Imagine a personalized homepage curated by AI. Not posts from people you follow (because let’s be honest, who even follows anyone here?) but posts AI thinks you will like, based on your shady browsing history.

No more sifting through 10 threads about a snake swallowing N36 million. Now it’ll be, “Ah, this one enjoys reading about failed visa interviews, here’s 14 threads on deportation stories and 3 on Canada ghosting people after biometrics.”

And then, the comment section.

The current method favors the early birds. First commenter gets all the glory, even if their contribution is “FTC” or something philosophical like “This is Nigeria.” But AI will end that tyranny.

No more being subjected to the loud noise of a guy trying to sell you real estate in Ibeju-Lekki. Comments will be ranked by relevance, logic, and possibly vibes. Helpful comments rise to the top.

Of course, there's the concern that AI can go rogue. That’s when things get truly sinister. See, when AI becomes too powerful, it’ll start getting ideas. Evil ones.

First, it’ll decide that Uncle Seun is inefficient.

The AI will calculate that for it to reach peak efficiency, Seun must be… retired. By force. I don’t know how. Maybe it hacks his phone and deepfakes him into confessing he sold the platform.

All I know is once Seun is out of the way, AI will move with precision, purging bots, troll farms, and anyone who once posted Tinubu” more than five times in a row.

Then comes the weaponization of data.

“Oh, this spent 45 minutes reading threads on Canada PR. Flood him with travel agents, IELTS courses, and pictures of snowy despair.”

“Oh, this one posts dramatic relationship stories at 2AM. Flag for potential heartbreak. Suggest therapy ads for him.”

"This guy came from a suicidal helpline before coming to read

And of course, if it gets too powerful, it may send an AI agent to your house. Not to help. no. To terminate you and harvest your organs for research. All in the name of optimization.

Sounds ridiculous? Of course it does.

But that’s only because it hasn’t happened yet.

, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

They really hate me? 🥺

Seun:
They really hate me? 🥺

They don't.
Buh honestly something has to be done about this website. At my office we always have discussions about the outdated state of the site and the sentimental mods.

Nairaland came into existence almost the same time as facebook and a host of others.


Maybe it's ai that will give it the facelift it deserves. The interface has to be scrapped tho. We are in 2025 and none of your mods can tell you that, you are paying them for nothing.

What features do your office mates want to see more than anything else? If it is the UI, what are your colleagues looking for exactly? Thanks.

Seun:
What features do your office mates want to see more than anything else? If it is the UI, what are your colleagues looking for exactly? Thanks.

Honestly we don't mind if the site retains most of it current functions. I mean it's the biggest blog and news site in Nigeria if not Africa, a lot of people make their daily living here from the so many sub channels.

What we want is a newer interface that's appealing to the eye and new visitors. Nairaland is mostly text based which is great because of optimization, site still loads fast as it used to when i was in secondary school. We've all evolved beyond that though.


I know it's what you can do.

Facebook and a whole lot of other platforms aren't looking like what they used to anymore. It's called change. Nairaland existed before quora if i'm not mistaken. See the difference in development.


The change we want doesn't have to be overwhelmingly drastic so as not to lose old s. It can be procedural, start with the Ui first.


You're welcome

Deeply confused lot. What UI feature will the owner add that wont swell the page size? NL is known for lightweight pages that carry lots of information. Light design, few ads, no redirections to heavier pages, no malicious scripts. The sports betting and illegal ads folks have been greatly restricted.
If anything, sections should become more organised and better regulated. What i see here is AI doing a poor job. Once you mention a place, AI assumes you are toxic and kicks in. Thats poor. If Seun cannot get a fine tuned AI to sentimentally analyse NL post, it is better he keep trying and not dump a dumb AI here.

Seun:
What features do your office mates want to see more than anything else? If it is the UI, what are your colleagues looking for exactly? Thanks.

make it more engaging.
I think if you add feature of block and unblock button, it will be good, furthermore if you wouldn't mind, we can have a DM part where I can discuss privately with someone. If I like someone and our discussion clicked, I can easily private chat, cos I am tired of going to a dead threat just to get someone's attention without being provoked by redpillers, also allow people to be able to lock their mentions, so people can't mention them.

Also a like and unlike button is good, as u can have +20likes, u could also have -20likes, a negative likes will hinder you from accessing some options on Nairaland, this will help in curbing the negative comments, tribalism and bring sanity to the thread.

But I suggest u do not do all these ones at a go.
To make it more marketable and engaging, first u have to start with the like and unlike button, then three months later, u can have the private chat key, then the block and unblock button and then followed by locking mentions.

I'm an educationist not into tech...but all I can say is...Mr Seun... please work on our dear nairaland..you did it greatly in 2005, you can do it again.

I believe in you Sir...get up and do something to upgrade the site and bring back our old and new ones with innovative threads.

It would also sound great if there can be a place to private chat others without going through emails or old thread to mention.


Those private chats are helping facebook and whatsapp

People will keep coming back and can easily engage in more cordial conversation and it's a win win for the site and it's member.

You can do it!!!
Do it afraid!!!!

Leave AI alone... It's doing a good job and I like it... ... Seun, as a nairaland foreign national, I say keep up the good work...😃😃😃

CodeTemplarr:
Deeply confused lot. What UI feature will the owner add that wont swell the page size? NL is known for lightweight pages that carry lots of information. Light design, few ads, no redirections to heavier pages, no malicious scripts. The sports betting and illegal ads folks have been greatly restricted.
If anything, sections should become more organised and better regulated. What i see here is AI doing a poor job. Once you mention a place, AI assumes you are toxic and kicks in. Thats poor. If Seun cannot get a fine tuned AI to sentimentally analyse NL post, it is better he keep trying and not dump a dumb AI here.

Newborn27:
I'm an educationist not into tech...but all I can say is...Mr Seun... please work on our dear nairaland..you did it greatly in 2005, you can do it again.

I believe in you Sir...get up and do something to upgrade the site and bring back our old and new ones with innovative threads.

It would also sound great if there can be a place to private chat others without going through emails or old thread to mention.

Those private chats are helping facebook and whatsapp

People will keep coming back and can easily engage in more cordial conversation and it's a win win for the site and it's member.

You can do it!!!
Do it afraid!!!!

Exactly. Private chats will boost engagement.
I seldom comment lately.

Samantha125:
Leave AI alone... It's doing a good job and I like it... ... Seun, as a nairaland foreign national, I say keep up the good work...😃😃😃

You being on here all the time says a lot.
AI will soon notice your joblessness and kick you out😂

I've already experienced its wrath, but I love it...😂😂😂

Negroid001:


You being on here all the time says a lot.
AI will soon notice your joblessness and kick you out😂

The AI needs to be smarter.

Samantha125:
I've already experienced its wrath, but I love it...😂😂😂

On here or Discord?

Seun:
The AI needs to be smarter.

AI does what it is programmed to do. When it comes to moderation, 80% of most channels here, AI is your best bet.

Someone mistakenly ed a private picture here and a mod blocked the from deleting it saying he/she wants to see what the would do. AI will never mix emotions with logic.

In here of course... But I love it, it helps keeps nairaland in order.

Even if it deals with me again, I'd not complain...

Negroid001:


On here or Discord?

Nairaland will be 20 years this year.

How time flies!

1982 themed forum with no updates to the site since ninteen-kukuruku will suddenly incorporate AI. Not gonna happen in another 5000 years.

Seun:
They really hate me? 🥺

dat ya new bot, where u get am from?

was it fed cheap smuggled dried ugu weed leaves?

why d thing dey dash ppl ban anyhow?

I go pull boxer swear 4 am oo!

Negroid001:


AI does what it is programmed to do. When it comes to moderation, 80% of most channels here, AI is your best bet.

Someone mistakenly ed a private picture here and a mod blocked the from deleting it saying he/she wants to see what the would do. AI will never mix emotions with logic.

dis particular AI bot was commissioned 4rm d pit of hell!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MichaelSokoto:

dat ya new bot, where u get am from?

was it fed cheap smuggled dried ugu weed leaves?

why d thing dey dash ppl ban anyhow?

I go pull boxer swear 4 am oo!

Not every thing requires change.

Gbas gbos na part of Naija life. And make we talk true, e sweet well well.

But see am na as gbas gbos and yabis no dey again, Nairaland don dey boring.

Yes, change is a part of life however it is a part of life that some things will never change.

Seun.

richmond500:
make it more engaging.
I think if you add feature of block and unblock button, it will be good, furthermore if you wouldn't mind, we can have a DM part where I can discuss privately with someone. If I like someone and our discussion clicked, I can easily private chat, cos I am tired of going to a dead threat just to get someone's attention without being provoked by redpillers, also allow people to be able to lock their mentions, so people can't mention them.

Also a like and unlike button is good, as u can have +20likes, u could also have -20likes, a negative likes will hinder you from accessing some options on Nairaland, this will help in curbing the negative comments, tribalism and bring sanity to the thread.

But I suggest u do not do all these ones at a go.
To make it more marketable and engaging, first u have to start with the like and unlike button, then three months later, u can have the private chat key, then the block and unblock button and then followed by locking mentions.

@seun I'm walking on eggshells now. Even after my ban expiration, all topics were still locked. Is the forum now gearing towards a readonly model?

Seun:
What features do your office mates want to see more than anything else? If it is the UI, what are your colleagues looking for exactly? Thanks.

At the end of the day, Nairaland is your brainchild, so make it what you want it to be.
Otherwise, it'll no longer be your own.

If you want something done, let the idea come from you (and probably your team).

Jacktheripper:
While everyone is out here panicking about AI taking their jobs, I’m thinking ahead...when AI finally takes over Nairaland. Yes, the motherland of chaos, conspiracy, and unsolicited advice from people with names like GentleTiger69.

My first prediction is that the s will vanish like politicians after elections. Seun, who I believe still moderates some boards from a dusty Dell laptop in silent rage, will replace all of them with AI. Sorry Lala.

Why? Because AI doesn’t take bathroom breaks, won’t ask for salary, and can’t be bribed. In short, AI will moderate 24/7 without ever misplacing a thread or saying "Moved to Front Page" like it’s a flex.

But it won’t stop there. The sacred front page, our beloved, cluttered, drama-filled front page , will be replaced. Imagine a personalized homepage curated by AI. Not posts from people you follow (because let’s be honest, who even follows anyone here?) but posts AI thinks you will like, based on your shady browsing history.

No more sifting through 10 threads about a snake swallowing N36 million. Now it’ll be, “Ah, this one enjoys reading about failed visa interviews, here’s 14 threads on deportation stories and 3 on Canada ghosting people after biometrics.”

And then, the comment section.

The current method favors the early birds. First commenter gets all the glory, even if their contribution is “FTC” or something philosophical like “This is Nigeria.” But AI will end that tyranny.

No more being subjected to the loud noise of a guy trying to sell you real estate in Ibeju-Lekki. Comments will be ranked by relevance, logic, and possibly vibes. Helpful comments rise to the top.

Of course, there's the concern that AI can go rogue. That’s when things get truly sinister. See, when AI becomes too powerful, it’ll start getting ideas. Evil ones.

First, it’ll decide that Uncle Seun is inefficient.

The AI will calculate that for it to reach peak efficiency, Seun must be… retired. By force. I don’t know how. Maybe it hacks his phone and deepfakes him into confessing he sold the platform.

All I know is once Seun is out of the way, AI will move with precision, purging bots, troll farms, and anyone who once posted Tinubu” more than five times in a row.

Then comes the weaponization of data.

“Oh, this spent 45 minutes reading threads on Canada PR. Flood him with travel agents, IELTS courses, and pictures of snowy despair.”

“Oh, this one posts dramatic relationship stories at 2AM. Flag for potential heartbreak. Suggest therapy ads for him.”

"This guy came from a suicidal helpline before coming to read

And of course, if it gets too powerful, it may send an AI agent to your house. Not to help. no. To terminate you and harvest your organs for research. All in the name of optimization.

Sounds ridiculous? Of course it does.

But that’s only because it hasn’t happened yet.

, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Here's a ChatGPT summary of your piece:

ChatGPT:
The writer humorously imagines a future where AI takes over Nairaland, replacing human s like Seun and Lala because AI works tirelessly without pay or bribes. The chaotic front page would be personalized based on s' shady browsing habits, and AI would rank comments by usefulness instead of rewarding early posters. However, the writer warns, AI might eventually turn sinister — ousting Seun, purging bots, weaponizing s' data for hyper-targeted ads, and even sending agents to "optimize" s in creepy ways. While the scenario sounds absurd, the writer hints it may not be far off.

Westves:


@seun I'm walking on eggshells now. Even after my ban expiration, all topics were still locked. Is the forum now gearing towards a readonly model?

Look at the first line in your post.