NewStats: 3,263,245 , 8,179,516 topics. Date: Thursday, 05 June 2025 at 08:23 AM 6s133z

Vanguard, 7th April edition, reported how a wedding was called off because the bride allegedly refused to follow the groom to his church. Both were Christians but of different denominations.

This is a sober reminder of the need to address certain issues before saying “I do.”
Don’t assume all is well just because you’re in love. Infatuation fades, but the issues you ignore today may become the cracks in your marriage tomorrow.

Ask the hard questions:

What church will we both attend?

How will we handle finances, t or separate?

How involved will in-laws be in our decisions?

What’s our stance on parenting and discipline?

Are we on the same page about roles and expectations in marriage?

Most divorce cases don’t start with big fights. They begin with these “little foxes” that go unchecked and gradually eat away at the foundation.

So what’s your take, must a woman follow her husband to his church? Or should they both find a common ground?

What other important matters do you think couples should settle before tying the knot?

Let’s talk. You just might help someone avoid a broken engagement or a broken home.

Honestly, stuff like this is why couples need to stop skipping the real convos before the wedding. Love is great, but it won’t fix deep differences like this. I don’t think it’s fair to expect the woman to just switch churches—marriage should be about compromise, not control. Both need to meet halfway, or it’s gonna be problems down the line.

InfernoNig:
Honestly, stuff like this is why couples need to stop skipping the real convos before the wedding. Love is great, but it won’t fix deep differences like this. I don’t think it’s fair to expect the woman to just switch churches —marriage should be about compromise, not control. Both need to meet halfway, or it’s gonna be problems down the line.

What are you saying!
A woman who's getting married already knows that she must switch church, unless the man doesn't care... These are long standing practices so I don't understand what you mean by you don't think it's fair to expect the woman to just switch church..

Why must husband and wife attend the same church? Which law says that? Some people and stupidity sha.

Tit4Tat1:


What are you saying!
A woman who's getting married already knows that must switch church, unless the man doesn't care... These are long standing practices so I don't understand what you mean by you don't think it's fair to expect the woman to just switch church..

Ah ah, but not every time na! So because it's "long standing" it means it must remain like that forever? Abeg, if both partners can't talk it through and find common ground, how marriage wan take work? Not every woman go just waka change church like that—some people are really committed to where they worship. Communication and compromise still dey important o.

Once you get married and move into a man's house everything changes and it's starts with the man. You need to Understand that you marrying into a new function, a new system so changes must happen. When u marry a man, you marry everything about him. I heard that's why it's hard for a Muslim woman to marry a Christian man cos she must evolve with the man. But if the man doesn't care about church differences no problem that's what marriage is all about, Understanding, agreement and peace.

InfernoNig:


Ah ah, but not every time na! So because it's "long standing" it means it must remain like that forever? Abeg, if both partners can't talk it through and find common ground, how marriage wan take work? Not every woman go just waka change church like that—some people are really committed to where they worship. Communication and compromise still dey important o.

You guys are the enablers of these women taking you for granted all in the name of been in a woke generation by tolerating certain things which are paramount then come online to cry about how ur wife doesn't respect/regard you..

That should be thoroughly explored and talked about when dating, which Church do they both want to attend as a married couple.

If you married in any religious/cultural setting that puts a man as head of family, than you are obligated to go along with your husband's decision.

However, if there are genuine reasons why you must change church, it should be a conversation between partners. Convince yourselves, if no agreement is reached, you're bound by duty to go with your husband's decision, as he is bound by duty to lead aright.

You should not marry a man who cannot lead you.

Tit4Tat1:


You guys are the enablers of these women taking you for granted all in the name of been in a woke generation by tolerating certain things which are paramount then come online to cry about how ur wife doesn't respect/regard you..

Lol abeg no be every issue be “woke generation” matter. Sometimes, respect na mutual thing — no be by force or old school mentality. If a woman no dey respect you, maybe check yourself too. Everything no be “women bad,” sometimes na the person wey no get sense.

I am not aware of any law that says that both in the Bible or the secular laws

Mindlog:
That should be thoroughly explored and talked about when dating, which Church do they both want to attend as a married couple.

Exactly. Such issues ought to have been settled before now.

InfernoNig:


Lol abeg no be every issue be “woke generation” matter. Sometimes, respect na mutual thing — no be by force or old school mentality. If a woman no dey respect you, maybe check yourself too. Everything no be “women bad,” sometimes na the person wey no get sense.

Crab

Yes. A woman should follow her husband to his church. If church is a major critical issue for you as a woman, then prolly don't date outside your church.

I have observed that the only thing Nigerians do during dating is to straff. No deep conversations, no future plans, no real time questions. In fact the only questions that pops up is: "did you cheat on me"?

Before you say, Jack Robinson, they get married, then start having issues about stuff they didn't discuss during their dating phase.

For instance, it your partner has a sibling suffering from an ailment, ask questions to know whether the sickness is hereditary and how it could affect your kids. This is common sense, but it seems sense is far from people in relationships.

As for following your husband to his church...well...it is up to the woman to take a stand before saying "I do". Nonetheless, a man has no right to impose his religion or beliefs on his wife. Your wife is your partner and not your slave.

Justbehave:
Crab

Wetin concern me with the church whey you dey go?

Me whey no even wan go church at all.. if you say na cele, na your business, if you say na Jehovah witness, na u know, no just do the one whey go dey carry you go night vigil every time and the one whey go hinder you from performance in the other room.

Though, it doesn't suppose to be an issue, but any woman insisting she is not ready to follow his husband to church,.........such husband should look out for red flag in her.

First, she won't be submissive

2. She would be dicrimating towards her husband family.

And lastly, such husband should be vigilant in case of infidelity on the part of such woman.


...... that's why Muslim used to make jest on us, Muslim would get to unknown land, the next is to be looking for ANY available mosque, but for Christian, if he doesn't see his denomination, he won't attend, yet it's the same Jesus we do call unto.

That is why Yoruba marriages are the yardstick for a peaceful coexistence in marriages with different religious beliefs

Many homes in Yoruba land have husbands and wives with different religions. Christianity, Islam and Ifa all no wahala 🤷🏻

Yes! Except agreed otherwise

Chummynoni:
Why must husband and wife attend the same church? Which law says that? Some people and stupidity sha.

when the Bible said wife be submissive to your husband you didn't read that part.

If a woman can leave her biological family for a man she she has no relationship with all in the name of marriage, what is church that she cannot also abandon?

If a woman decides not to follow her husband, she is not ready for marriage yet.

Did she not consider the husband's church before accepting to marry him?

If you want your wife to follow you, tell her before you marry her.
If you don't want to follow your husband, tell him before you marry him.

Israel and Hamas war dey there, we never settle am. No come add your own wahala

I noticed I wasn't asked to declare that I was a Christian before being able to comment here, but when I tried commenting on a Muslim thread, I was asked to declare that I was muslim...

Can anyone explain the reason for that? I am new here. Thanks.

Chummynoni:
Why must husband and wife attend the same church? Which law says that? Some people and stupidity sha.

There is this perception that going to the same church brings the family together spiritual.

Hmmm

So far both of them are christians it's not compulsory but necessary and important especially for their children sake.

Why getting married when the wife is not ready to follow her husband to their church? Not a big deal
My wife attends the same denomination with me, but different branch and we have been married for long. Most of their church know me very well because it is close to our residence

It's the right thing to do

LawWithEbele:


Vanguard, 7th April edition, reported how a wedding was called off because the bride allegedly refused to follow the groom to his church. Both were Christians but of different denominations.

This is a sober reminder of the need to address certain issues before saying “I do.”
Don’t assume all is well just because you’re in love. Infatuation fades, but the issues you ignore today may become the cracks in your marriage tomorrow.

Ask the hard questions:

What church will we both attend?

How will we handle finances, t or separate?

How involved will in-laws be in our decisions?

What’s our stance on parenting and discipline?

Are we on the same page about roles and expectations in marriage?

Most divorce cases don’t start with big fights. They begin with these “little foxes” that go unchecked and gradually eat away at the foundation.

So what’s your take, must a woman follow her husband to his church? Or should they both find a common ground?

What other important matters do you think couples should settle before tying the knot?

Let’s talk. You just might help someone avoid a broken engagement or a broken home.

They should understand that their home is the church. "Going to church" is an aberration to begin with so the issue cannot be resolved biblically.

The issue had been a problem for the modern church leaders to solve because either way you decide as a neutral, one church will lose a member to the marriage and that's why they encourage inbreeding marriages that says marry a brother or sister in the church you attend whether compatible or not, whether in love or not just do it now and breakup later.... It's all evil the idea of a "church building" because the true church of Christ is based on the fact that Jesus is the son of the living God, so anyone who believes that is a church of Jesus which the gate of hell shall never prevail over.

If you truly are a follower or believer in the salvation found in Jesus it won't be hard for you to go to any place where the name of God is being praised either a mosque or a shrine but if you pretend to follow Jesus or believe in him you'll go to 1000 kilometers away to "attend church" services when there's a "Christian church" beside your house. That's also why you will have some people in the same church who you wouldn't like to sit with or have your own sitting area in the same church. It's shameful to see how some "church going Christians" live. It's better to be a Muslim than be a "church going Christian" .

Tit4Tat1:


You guys are the enablers of these women taking you for granted all in the name of been in a woke generation by tolerating certain things which are paramount then come online to cry about how ur wife doesn't respect/regard you..

Bro stop wasting your precious time with that one. They never learn. With the way everyone, especially 9ja women are trying to stay woke and imitate foreign systems, it is only a matter of time before it comes back crashing at our faces. Well, not on all of our faces though, because some of us men already planned a way out. In this game or next game, Nigerian men (only SIMPs will suffer) will always be ahead of it all...