NewStats: 3,260,927 , 8,172,891 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 12:56 AM 1h146

I can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.

I have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older.

Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

look at the time i am writing this after having stressful day with work i can’t sleep because i am in pain
because of business i bought him toyota camry, bought big nylon machine he no work all this money na from legit struggles when i suppose package my self japa
but the business i dey use my hand do dey work even with this i dey run 2bedroom flat rent ,expensive act fees and all the bills myself include food. I no complain
my complain now is that while carrying out all this struggles one neighbor out of joblessness and jealousy of what i am not even enjoying will be bullying me psychologically publicly

Call me

SouthAmericalif:

look at the time i am writing this after having stressful day with work i can’t sleep because i am in pain
because of business i bought him toyota camry, bought big nylon machine he no work all this money na from legit struggles when i suppose package my self japa
but the business i dey use my hand do dey work even with this i dey run 2bedroom flat rent ,expensive act fees and all the bills myself include food. I no complain
my complain now is that while carrying out all this struggles one neighbor out of joblessness and jealousy of what i am not even enjoying will be bullying me psychologically publicly

we are christian’s i have been silent for more than a year now because i respect you as my husband, this person we quarrel and swear in my gate almost everyday if her fridge did not work is me, if mosquitoe bite her is me, i don’t even know her from anywhere.
ok look for another apartment even we still have arrears of six months here but i can still afford it and we can move on na me go do everything

Carry your cross and continue to do well in life.

SouthAmericalif:

we are christian’s i have been silent for more than a year now because i respect you as my husband, this person we quarrel and swear in my gate almost everyday if her fridge did not work is me, if mosquitoe bite her is me, i don’t even know her from anywhere.
ok look for another apartment even we still have arrears of six months here but i can still afford it and we can move on na me go do everything

i am 36 and i still have a young mother who is doing well in and i am her only child and helping managing the business and the finances very well
this man sees all the mess i am going through he have not one day seek for solution of either relocating or have a peace talk with the other people.
for two days now i have been indoors i have not even step to my balcony this people have started in my gate again and i hate noise i have to call my mum she was the one that came to set the boundary straight and have peace talk with them to save my head i have to apologize to them even when they say i didn’t wrong them.

SouthAmericalif:

i am 36 and i still have a young mother who is doing well in and i am her only child and helping managing the business and the finances very well
this man sees all the mess i am going through he have not one day seek for solution of either relocating or have a peace talk with the other people.
for two days now i have been indoors i have not even step to my balcony this people have started in my gate again and i hate noise i have to call my mum she was the one that came to set the boundary straight and have peace talk with them to save my head i have to apologize to them even when they say i didn’t wrong them.

i feel so depressed i have been suffering an injustice for too long and have not face anything been single living with my mum she gave me one million last year to add to what i have to japa and i converted it to usd and gave it to keep for me he misplaced it and we later find it
it’s 12:47 pm he saw me packing and told him why i am angry he has long fallen asleep when he knows am in tears

Dump his arse.


This advice is cost a grand.

SouthAmericalif:

i feel so depressed i have been suffering an injustice for too long and have not face anything been single living with my mum she gave me one million last year to add to what i have to japa and i converted it to usd and gave it to keep for me he misplaced it and we later find it
it’s 12:47 pm he saw me packing and told him why i am angry he has long fallen asleep when he knows am in tears

last week i told him since i have my port let me just leave for cape verde and he said no that may be later then this people was calling my name for things i know nothing of, once i here there shouting sometimes i will just be shock in my heart, in my house out of tiredness from house chores cooking and business i sleep before every one but am pouring my heart here so i don’t commit suicide and i mean it

Not making sense but obviously you are not happy

Please put your mental health first

Leave the marriage

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

If you're doing well for yourself as a young lady; why did you even get married? On top of that you got married without courtship, meaning that someone forced you into marriage.

If what you wrote here is to be believed, you'll certainly be better off without marriage.

WARNING: You don't need to travel outside Nigeria. You'll do better in Nigeria.

SouthAmericalif:

last week i told him since i have my port let me just leave for cape verde and he said no that may be later then this people was calling my name for things i know nothing of, once i here there shouting sometimes i will just be shock in my heart, in my house out of tiredness from house chores cooking and business i sleep before every one but am pouring my heart here so i don’t commit suicide and i mean it

do you have kid yet? first go and rest in your mums house then calm down and make your decisions.
I am wondering how you married a man without knowing him well at a young age of 26yr.

If you don't have kids together yet then you need to japa urgently for your mental health, even if you do, you can have them go over to your mum
. I wish you the best

SouthAmericalif:
➜i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
....Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

SouthAmericalif:

.....i bought him toyota camry,
.....bought big nylon machine he no work all this money na from legit struggles when i suppose package my self japa
but the business i dey use my hand do dey work even with this i dey run 2bedroom flat rent ,expensive act fees and all the bills myself include food. I no complain
my complain now is that while carrying out all this struggles one neighbor out of joblessness and jealousy of what i am not even enjoying will be bullying me psychologically publicly

Wait a second.... so, na your neighbor dey cause you to dey tired of your marriage? You are not truly tired of existing as a slave for someone else? If the neighbor is all that is bothering you then give her an eviction letter and avoid her for as long as it will take for her to leave. Case closed!

Watch how she will be encouraged to leave immediately and be strong.
But TuFace attempted same thing and he was crucified for it.
Was it not exactly what 2Face did?
Or Men are not permitted to leave marriages?

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

I don't have issues with you leaving.
You health, safety and Peace of mind should be your priority even b4 your kids & hubby.
But hope you are not among those who denigrated and demeaned TUFACE for doing exactly the same thing? I am just asking....

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

I am a man but trust me, you can't continue with this man. You mentioned something like japa in your accompanying post, if you still have the fund and might, you may consider this. As for the kids, if possible, look for a carer in trusted family member while you pave way overseas. There's nothing more dangerous than being with a NFA man.

donproject2:


I am a man but trust me, you can't continue with this man. You mentioned something like japa in your accompanying post, if you still have the fund and might, you may consider this. As for the kids, if possible, look for a carer in trusted family member while you pave way overseas. There's nothing more dangerous than being with a NFA man.

i have two grown kids and my mum takes very good care of them.
i didn’t sleep this night but am a bit calm this morning since i figured it out that i have to be there for my self, in health wise and all round moving to my mums place this morning and will
get a room self contained by next week and start from there.

If I don't hear the Man's version , I won't swallow everything Hook line and Sinker


Madame your health is important, do everything to make sure you are healthy

This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

pyyxxaro:
If I don't hear the Man's version , I won't swallow everything Hook line and Sinker


Madame your health is important, do everything to make sure you are healthy

i am not quarreling or fighting with him, i feel depressed and stressed each ing day and he is not making it easy for me , i am not asking him to fight for me but as a man there are some measures you put in place to protect your family especially when you know i can never do anyone wrong but he is always mute to every thing and am carry too much burden that i can’t take care of myself my blood pressure is high and it has never been this high.
He should care for himself and i will do same if he doesn’t give me a valid reason to come back and not this house we are presently in then i will let the marriage go.
He knew fully well i didn’t sleep all through the night and it has never happened before but is 5:30am he is sleeping very soundly. It’s very easy to please me but i don’t think he has a heart.

SouthAmericalif:

we are christian’s i have been silent for more than a year now because i respect you as my husband, this person we quarrel and swear in my gate almost everyday if her fridge did not work is me, if mosquitoe bite her is me, i don’t even know her from anywhere.
ok look for another apartment even we still have arrears of six months here but i can still afford it and we can move on na me go do everything

You mean you did all these for your man, yet he no work?
1. Bought a tricycle
2. Bought a Camry
3. Bought nylon making machine
4. You even pay rent, feeding, and sch fees

You are hardworking, and I respect you for that.

1. Well, if I may suggest, except you bought the Camry for Uber, you can sell it and buy a car for taxi instead. Let him drive while you manage (if you have a brother you trust, he can manage this).
2. Have a discuss with him, find out what he loves to do naturally, what he enjoys doing and can push without limits. That's his strength, invest in that.
3. Have a list of businesses, let him choose the one he likes to do. Then, navigate how to invest in it together.
4. Anything you decide to do don't contribute the 100%. Let him also have an input. Tell him to contribute 50% while you add the remaining 50%. He can get a loan for his part.

As for your neighbours, you can:
1. Report them to the landlord, let him take action.
2. Get a restraining order from the court or police (a lawyer will guide you on this).
3. Meet a lawyer on how to issue them a warning letter (if it exists) to let them know you will sue them for libel/slander if they don't desist.

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

This was what came to my mind too when I first read what she posted. But, a woman will always be a woman. Moreover, this woman played her part. Let the man play his part too.

tundebasic:

You mean you did all these for your man, yet he no work?
1. Bought a tricycle
2. Bought a Camry
3. Bought nylon making machine
4. You even pay rent, feeding, and sch fees

You are hardworking, and I respect you for that.

1. Well, if I may suggest, except you bought the Camry for Uber, you can sell it and buy a car for taxi instead. Let him drive while you manage (if you have a brother you trust, he can manage this).
2. Have a discuss with him, find out what he loves to do naturally, what he enjoys doing and can push without limits. That's his strength, invest in that.
3. Have a list of businesses, let him choose the one he likes to do. Then, navigate how to invest in it together.
4. Anything you decide to do don't contribute the 100%. Let him also have an input. Tell him to contribute 50% while you add the remaining 50%. He can get a loan for his part.

As for your neighbours, you can:
1. Report them to the landlord, let him take action.
2. Get a restraining order from the court or police (a lawyer will guide you on this).
3. Meet a lawyer on how to issue them a warning letter (if it exists) to let them know you will sue them for libel/slander if they don't desist.

thank you sir for your candid advice
i have reported my neighbors to the landlord because he doesn’t stay in same compound and after warning them dey stay clear from me for 3days and started last night, they doing this so we can pack out and then give the house to another person and eat agent fees
the car keke and machine after been packed for years i sold it then for small money.
it was last december i started studying rigidly online and found out ways to invest by myself for myself january i started tbills and mutual funds and ok with it than wasting money for 8years i can no longer partner again we did okrika business it failed where buying from togo.

SouthAmericalif:


i am not quarreling or fighting with him, i feel depressed and stressed each ing day and he is not making it easy for me , i am not asking him to fight for me but as a man there are some measures you put in place to protect your family especially when you know i can never do anyone wrong but he is always mute to every thing and am carry too much burden that i can’t take care of myself my blood pressure is high and it has never been this high.
He should care for himself and i will do same if he doesn’t give me a valid reason to come back and not this house we are presently in then i will let the marriage go.
He knew fully well i didn’t sleep all through the night and it has never happened before but is 5:30am he is sleeping very soundly. It’s very easy to please me but i don’t think he has a heart.

It's really painful,try and reach out to someone he respects so much ... If afterwards he doesn't change ,Madam carry you load vamos oh, who die naim lose

SouthAmericalif:


thank you sir for your candid advice
i have reported my neighbors to the landlord because he doesn’t stay in same compound and after warning them dey stay clear from me for 3days and started last night, they doing this so we can pack out and then give the house to another person and eat agent fees
the car keke and machine after been packed for years i sold it then for small money.
it was last december i started studying rigidly online and found out ways to invest by myself for myself january i started tbills and mutual funds and ok with it than wasting money for 8years i can no longer partner again we did okrika business it failed where buying from togo.

You've tried. Yes, I wanted to suggest mutual funds, but since you already know about it and other investments, it's okay.

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

if your stories are all true, leave lazy man now ASAP

tundebasic:

You've tried. Yes, I wanted to suggest mutual funds, but since you already know about it and other investments, it's okay.

thanks

Yenyenyen, this is what married men go through without complaining.

Do married men provide, then come home to cook and clean? Do married men work to provide while carrying pregnancies and giving birth to babies?

And who said married men don't complain? For this Nigeria, wetin eyes of most non-earning wives dey see no be here.

Women would always be women indeed.

I don't know why despite being supposedly logical, these guys would always pretend not to know the difference.

It is this kleg argument they use in getting women like the OP into a sham 50:50 arrangment while whining her that she is different. Until e clear her for eye that she is being severely ripped, given the way most Nigerian marriages/homes work.

_________________
By the way, OP is not going to leave.
Manage your husband, Madam.

Bittersweetnig:
if your stories are all true, leave lazy man now ASAP

all true what do i stand to gain
i was able to build a small rental property at the outskirts of town and left it for him to manage
am still the one reminding to call tenants that are owing presently almost all tenants are owing and two rooms are vacant for some months because once someone ones to take the rooms he will say he is busy because he doesn’t likes going there.Because of poor management i always have the urge to sell the property
i have the one i inherited and i am managing it well for 15years now
there was a time i fell sick and i stayed at my moms for 2months i raise 1million profit from my business because i wasn’t making any expenses i almost find it difficult go back because i got well and was doing great in business but i choose my marriage.

SouthAmericalif:
i can’t keep quiet anymore,i lost my mum sister to abusive marriage because she was left to struggle and care for her children alone while her husband was doing fine boy all along and carrying woman even till now this february making 6years of her demise. she begged to live but high blood pressure and liver damage no be your mate.
i have started developing hbp too because i need to stay in marriage. got married at 26+ with out courtship never knew i was marrying a lazy man.
i was doing well when he met me, so i taught i could wage any challenge but trying to fix him up i was going down and he is 7years older
Firstly i bought keke napep after much training for months he still couldn’t handle it na so so accident call i dey receive it was so tiring so we decide to give it out,the story long but to cut it short

In pure traditional Igbo culture as practiced in the past, marriage is not a childsplay.


Before a man marries a lady, the elders of his family do embark on spiritual journey to make findings about the woman he intends to marry and her true family background. The woman's family too also embark on their own physical and spiritual findings after the man makes his intention to marry their daughter known.


Some families will never be wealthy. Some men will never be rich or wealthy, some will depend on others to survive, that is how their chi programmed their life. So for such men, his family elders do embark on a spiritual journey to unravel the background of the girl he intends to marry, if they carry same negative destiny or fate in life, the marriage will be aborted to save their future and that of their unborn kids from untold hardship and sufferings.


Instead the family elders will then look for a girl from a family with success or wealth trait or fate or destiny, whatever you call it, to get a wife for the man to help his own destiny. That was how marriage was done in the past in Igbo land but today youths marry anyhow in the name of love without consultations.


Some family carry the fate or destiny of untimely death too and people foolishly go into such families to marry without due consultations and when the consequences come, they start crying.


Marriage is not a childsplay.


To all single ladies and guys reading, dont marry anyhow oh. Dont just marry because of what you are seeing physically at the moment, make some spiritual consultations through your Pastor if he is truly ordained and spiritually carried or through your native tradition. Don't marry anyhow to avoid plunging your life to a perpetual misery

franchasng:
In pure traditional Igbo culture as practiced in the past, marriage is not a childsplay.


Before a man marries a lady, the elders of his family do embark on spiritual journey to make findings about the woman he intends to marry and her true family background.


Some families will never be wealthy. Some men will never be rich or wealthy, some will depend on others to survive, that is how their chi programmed their life. So for such men, his family elders do embark on a spiritual journey to unravel the background of the girl be intends to marry, if they carry same destiny or fate in life, the marriage will be aborted to save their future and that of their unborn kids from untold hardship and sufferings.


Instead the family elders will then look for a girl from a family with success or wealth trait or fake or destiny to get a wife for the man to help his own destiny. That was how marriage was done in the past in Igbo land but today youths marry anyhow in the name of love without consultations.


Some family carry the fate or destiny of untimely death too and people foolishly go into such families to marry without due consultations and when the consequences come, they start crying.


Marriage is not a childsplay.


To all single ladies and guys reading, dont marry anyhow oh. Dont just marry because what you are seeing physically oh, make some spiritual consultations through your Pastor if he is truly ordained and spiritually carried or through your native tradition. Don't marry anyhow to avoid plunging your life to a perpetual misery

most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it