NewStats: 3,261,468 , 8,174,105 topics. Date: Thursday, 29 May 2025 at 11:17 AM 1d33y

My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...

l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....

l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...

In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...

The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

You are her man and you tryina bring in another woman. If it were you would you be happy about that?

are u her only child

DaddyCoool:
You are her man and you tryina bring in another woman. If it were you would you be happy about that?

it still doesn't justify anything.. l will still marry and start my own family bro...how do u think l should handle this,, if l lose this girl l won't be happy with them honestly...

mmadu4:
are u her only child

no... but l am the first child

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...
l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....
l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...
In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...
The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

People with wise parents oftentimes are foolish.

Nonexisting1:
People with wise parents oftentimes are foolish.

explain... so l must build a house before l marry? if l don't have enough money to build a mansion l should not marry?

Vikto17:
explain... so l must build a house before l marry? if l don't have enough money to build a mansion l should not marry?

If you can build a house build it. No one asked you to build a mansion Sire. Ho ahead and tell your dad or family head that you intend to get married and start your wedding plans.

This is why I'll always be that one off ... I no dey hear word.

MondayOmoAdugbo:
This is why I'll always be that one off ... I no dey hear word.

it is annoying bro.. in some family once u start approaching 30 they will be the one gradually pushing u to get married...but this one it is one discouragement and the other...
if they attack my marriage plans l will make sure l send nothing to that house ever

Vikto17:
explain... so l must build a house before l marry? if l don't have enough money to build a mansion l should not marry?

I have some time and in a good mood so let me drop this. You are not 30 yet, why the rush? You have a business that is paying well now but you are not sure about tomorrow thanks to our useless government. This is your opportunity to do some things before bigger responsibilities like children school fees start coming your way and stop you from doing them. Before going into marriage, make sure you're a man first and the first step to becoming a man is to have a place of your own whether in the village or in the city where you hustle. If you don't have the means, I can understand. If you have the means which I suspect you do, build a house and get yourself a means of transport before getting married. Not when your wife is in labour now, you'll be running around to buy recharge card to call Okey the keke driver. Women always push unprepared men into marriage and when the responsibilities that come with it are not met, they blame the same men. Your mother may also sense that you're not ready and is deliberately trying to slow you down. Sit down and draw a list of things that are needed to be done first before marriage. If your girlfriend can't wait until they are done, she is not for you. You're welcome for the 'thank you'. Now let me go ahead and make my dick available to this girl, she has been waiting.

Vikto17:
it is annoying bro.. in some family once u start approaching 30 they will be the one gradually pushing u to get married...but this one it is one discouragement and the other...
if they attack my marriage plans l will make sure l send nothing to that house ever

Bro calm down o, it is your family you're talking about here o 😏

There is nothing in marriage, don't let social media and your girlfriend's pre marriage behaviour fool you,

If you enter you go know say e better u de single .

Marriage go drag you down, I kid you not, mentally, financially, socially,
No good thing for a man inside marriage,
Na only woman marriage favour,

And your mama knw this but can't tell you the truth,

U fit marry now make ur wife wey no de do anything first you buy land,

Vikto17:
it still doesn't justify anything.. l will still marry and start my own family bro...how do u think l should handle this,, if l lose this girl l won't be happy with them honestly...

Believe me, she still sees you as her baby. Once you start approaching a certain age and still sleeping around, she'll be the one telling you that all your mates are married!
How you deal with it is, unless the lady is rushing you, wait a few more years

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...
l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....
l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...
In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...
The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

U are just making falluting Noise

Tell them your plan, it's very wrong for them to decide for you at this age.

Nonexisting1:
I have some time and in a good mood so let me drop this. You are not 30 yet, why the rush? You have a business that is paying well now but you are not sure about tomorrow thanks to our useless government. This is your opportunity to do some things before bigger responsibilities like children school fees start coming your way and stop you from doing them. Before going into marriage, make sure you're a man first and the first step to becoming a man is to have a place of your own whether in the village or in the city where you hustle. If you don't have the means, I can understand. If you have the means which I suspect you do, build a house and get yourself a means of transport before getting married. Not when your wife is in labour now, you'll be running around to buy recharge card to call Okey the keke driver. Women always push unprepared men into marriage and when the responsibilities that come with it are not met, they blame the same men. Your mother may also sense that you're not ready and is deliberately trying to slow you down. Sit down and draw a list of things that are needed to be done first before marriage. If your girlfriend can't wait until they are done, she is not for you. You're welcome for the 'thank you'. Now let me go ahead and make my dick available to this girl, she has been waiting.

Bros, God bless you.

I don't understand their obsession with marriage. This guy is just 29!

What do you think will happen to your business when dollar becomes N2,500?

Bro don't let people scare you with marriage. Those who are building it, do you see them disparaging it That is life for you. Misery loves company amd those with the bad experiences make the most noise. It is like how bad news sells faster. If your business never did well, you too will blame the economy, blame Mr B and your village people. Such is life.

Don't listen to all the noise in the marriage. Those experiences are part of life and this is how you learn. Marriage will teach YOU how to build a family, build a home, manage your in-laws and your mother, raise kids and leave a legacy. Men who build start with the building blocks of their houses first. Don't let the failures stop you. Rich man wey do business no de stop because him business fail many times or because dem dupe am. Listen to advice from those who want you to grow and be better.


Marriage is what protects the structure of society.. You see some comments you read, it is one way you will know those who came from a dysfunctional family system. I am not judging anyone because not all marriages are perfect but a lot of adults you are seeing are adults in baby bodies who have yet to address their trauma. Their trauma is causing them pain and they don't want to look into the mirror. That's why the only advice I will give you before marriage is that you and her must know yourself first. Deal with the unexplained pain that happened in your childhood. Deal with the problems your mom and dad had and you think it is still yours to carry. Deal with the misconceptions you have been carrying, thinking it is normal for a man to do x or a woman to do z. Experiences make us more mature. Have a good experienced man to guide you. Don't take advice from us on the internet, these people don't care so much about your life. Have a mentor who is a man to help you navigate these issues.

Real men choose the house they want to build. And real men choose good women to make it a home. You see this thing you are going through? This is how men learn how to handle women. You will know how to handle your mom, sister, wife, her sister. You will become a political animal because women have their own games which you must learn. Men learn these things through experience. It is what makes them sharper and more decisive.
It is a ritual you must through but if you don't experience it, you will never know how to handle women. When they say 'na man you be', there is something deeper to it.

Listen to your mom bro...what an elder sees while sitting down...a child won't see it even if he climbs a tree!!!

My candid advise to you is that heed to your mother advise by having a room over your head first and commence your wedding program as soon as that is done. Because life is not bed of roses now that you have a good job but that you are employee in the good paying job.

Vikto17:
My mother is becoming something else honestly... l don't know if it selfishness or something else...
l will be 30yrs next year ,have a business that is paying me well , my fiancee is also doing well for herself .....
l realize that each time l raise issue regarding marriage. my mother keep on emphasizing on building house first and riding cars...l feel she is either not in touch with reality or she is afraid the help l am giving the family will stop once l get married...
In either way l am gradually smelling danger...my parents may disapproved my marriage because of their selfish reasons...
The thought of it annoys me honestly,, because l intend doing this marriage with or without their concept.. how do l start handling this issue? l intend getting married highest by 2026.please l need ur advice nairalanders..

PapaNnamdi:
There is nothing in marriage, don't let social media and your girlfriend's pre marriage behaviour fool you,

If you enter you go know say e better u de single .

Marriage go drag you down, I kid you not, mentally, financially, socially,
No good thing for a man inside marriage,
Na only woman marriage favour,

And your mama knw this but can't tell you the truth,

U fit marry now make ur wife wey no de do anything first you buy land,

The only advantage in marriage for men is social value. Politically,you won't go far without a spouse.

Also,some contracts and connections will you by if you're not married. Other than these things i mentioned,there's absolutely no gain for a man in marriage.

Them no dey use 1million build house o.

If your babe dey work and you dey work. Marry am. Una save money comot this country

Omo gboro si obi e lenu

What most single men yarning dusts here doesn’t know is that getting married to the right woman of your choice makes a man to become a real man. You will become more focused, your hustle will be doubled, your thinking will be ginger, your goals will be endless.
@op, don’t let anyone tell you what to do and what not to do. As long as no one is feeding you, clothing you or housing you. Take decision you think is best for you irregardless of what anyone think including your mother. As long as you don’t stop whatever help you are giving to your family, you are good.

Marriage is not for the faint hearted, after marriage don’t rush to have kids and don’t have more than two kids.

You don’t need to have a house or a car before you can marry, that’s just an excuse for your mother to delay you getting married.

Vikto17:
if l lose this girl l won't be happy with them honestly...

If truly you meant what you typed above, then, you've just confirmed their worry that you're still immature and not fit for marriage yet.

There's no point explaining anything to someone like you, it's obvious that you're under a Naija lady's spell.

THREE CATEGORIES OF PEOPLE THAT ONE SHOULD NEVER ADVISE.

1- A man who is under a NAIJA LADY's spell.

2- A person who s Arsenal FC

3- A card carrying member of the APC.

ravensckar:
If truly you meant what you typed above, then, you've just confirmed their worry that you're still immature and not fit for marriage yet.

There's no point explaining anything to someone like you, it's obvious that you're under a Naija lady's spell.

THREE CATEGORIES OF PEOPLE THAT ONE SHOULD NEVER ADVISE.

1- A man who is under a NAIJA LADY's spell.

2- A person who s Arsenal FC

3- A card carrying member of the APC.

Why do you want to get married.

At 30, you shouldn't let anyone tell you what to do with your life .

Ogbanje style...

Marry nothing will happen. Heaven no go fall

Fool. Your mother wants to save you from sure disaster and you are here talking rubbish.

From your post I can see that you lack the maturity required to handle a home. It will be a waste to even advice you.