NewStats: 3,264,812 , 8,184,773 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 June 2025 at 12:45 PM 3d4d1s

Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you ire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.

I swear I can relate op

I have a very good pal whom I normally visit,but it's been like over 3 months I've been there....... Whenever I visit,the mom always dishes food for me . She know I'm the shy type but being too closed to their family has bridged the gap of shyness .

These days,na me dey boldly dey ask--'momsy, anything dey the kitchen? I wan shawalene, meaning I wan eat" . She go just laugh,enter kitchen and come back with the food....

Honestly, friendship is bae especially when you're in the right one.........I miss all my nighas cha,but na hustle and struggle just keep men apart for now...

Beekeeper1:
Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you ire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.

Very valid. Some things are just natural unspoken rules you must adhere to. Like entering into a space where you meet more than 1 person or even if it's one person, you greet. I have a colleague that sees you and just act as a if you're a stranger. Even greeting this person feels like you're causing them inconvenience.

Beekeeper1:
Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you ire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.

I must commend your writing skills but the economy by T-Pain nowadays is about to turn our hospitality culture into something else. God epp us.

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
This is a general rule in life. Don't go into someone's home commenting about their sanctuary. It is their safe space. I will go further to say don't invite everyone to your home. When I was younger I did not understand this, it is not everyone that needs to come into your home, some visits are better outside. Hausa people are good at this because of their conservative nature. cho cho cho in another person's house is not your business. Respect people's privacy and act like a guest that you are.

Don't request for food

Compliment really matters in Nigerian lifes entirely.

And of course avoid asking unnecessary questions even if it seems important.

Questions like:
You don marry?
How old are you?

If it's a family you are visiting, don't go empty handed, you can buy some fruits to take along.

Nice rules

Call before you visit. Whether family or not.

Call before you visit. Whether family or not.
If you visit me without notice and the front camera picks you up, I'll tell you I'm not around.
Respect people's space

That number 2. People still ask and care if you have eaten?

reading.....

........ done reading.

Beekeeper1:
Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you ire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.

so valid points even more. nice piece here, we are just too blessed as a people but greed is really undoing us.

I could my growing up, one of the unwritten rules is parents acquaintance that came on visiting won't leave without them greasing your palm with a little something.
another is you go visiting with a little something for the younglings (kids).
don't get into people space and make a nuisance of it, like putting of your legs on their chair either the one you are sitting on or crossed to another just for comfort, (I have a friend that does this with reckless abandon to think his foot sweats and get smelly put my wife off.)
lots of unwritten rules and codes that being forgotten.

SlavaUkraini:
And when you are at the door 🚪

Leave your shoes 👟👟

Outside.

another silent rule.

WantsandMore:
I must commend your writing skills but the economy by T-Pain nowadays is about to turn our hospitality culture into something else. God epp us.

you are right on this.

Sonnobax15:

I swear I can relate op

I have a very good pal whom I normally visit,but it's been like over 3 months I've been there....... Whenever I visit,the mom always dishes food for me . She know I'm the shy type but being too closed to their family has bridged the gap of shyness .

These days,na me dey boldly dey ask--'momsy, anything dey the kitchen? I wan shawalene, meaning I wan eat" . She go just laugh,enter kitchen and come back with the food....

Honestly, friendship is bae especially when you're in the right one.........I miss all my nighas cha,but na hustle and struggle just keep men apart for now...

way back, you brought those memories following like rapid.

PotatoSalad:
Call before you visit. Whether family or not.
If you visit me without notice and the front camera picks you up, I'll tell you I'm not around.
Respect people's space

this rule is alien to us.

Dijita:

Call before you visit is not a Nigeria culture. We just show up.

Piro18:


This rule cause a problem between me and a close friend, it's been a while since he visited me. Only for me to come home and saw a message from that he and his wife came to my house. The annoying thing v that this my friend has my phone number, he could have called that he came my house or even leave a text message. He only messaged one of my siblings. Me too I did not call him, I only sent a text message to his phone. It's over 20 years, he doesn't call him or talk to me. Please is there anything wrong with my actions.

you and your friend got it all wrong (besides the rule is alien to us in this part, it is more of a western thing, we show up unannounced even till now.) true friendship don't break based on inconsequential issues (you both are being egoistic.)

okay i will say thank you before leaving.

Call before coming!! Very important.

PotatoSalad:
Call before you visit. Whether family or not.
If you visit me without notice and the front camera picks you up, I'll tell you I'm not around.
Respect people's space

This rule cause a problem between me and a close friend, it's been a while since he visited me. Only for me to come home and saw a message from that he and his wife came to my house. The annoying thing v that this my friend has my phone number, he could have called that he came my house or even leave a text message. He only messaged one of my siblings. Me too I did not call him, I only sent a text message to his phone. It's over 20 years, he doesn't call him or talk to me. Please is there anything wrong with my actions.

PotatoSalad:
Call before you visit. Whether family or not.
If you visit me without notice and the front camera picks you up, I'll tell you I'm not around.
Respect people's space

Call before you visit is not a Nigeria culture. We just show up.

Piro18:


This rule cause a problem between me and a close friend, it's been a while since he visited me. Only for me to come home and saw a message from that he and his wife came to my house. The annoying thing v that this my friend has my phone number, he could have called that he came my house or even leave a text message. He only messaged one of my siblings. Me too I did not call him, I only sent a text message to his phone. It's over 20 years, he doesn't call him or talk to me. Please is there anything wrong with my actions.

20 years ago, I don't think phone is rampant as it is now. The way we do in our culture is to call the person and apologize and say uncle I am sorry when you came. I am not home. You should have called me sir. If the person is your mate you call and ask him why he could not have called you to let you know. You feign annoyance.

Make sure you start the gist about Tinubu...it is a good line to start conversations!

ExtremeDot:
That number 2. People still ask and care if you have eaten?

Not again my brother

And when you are at the door 🚪

Leave your shoes 👟👟

Outside.

Sonnobax15:

I swear I can relate op

I have a very good pal whom I normally visit,but it's been like over 3 months I've been there....... Whenever I visit,the mom always dishes food for me . She know I'm the shy type but being too closed to their family has bridged the gap of shyness .

These days,na me dey boldly dey ask--'momsy, anything dey the kitchen? I wan shawalene, meaning I wan eat" . She go just laugh,enter kitchen and come back with the food....

Honestly, friendship is bae especially when you're in the right one.........I miss all my nighas cha,but na hustle and struggle just keep men apart for now...

May the hustle and struggle br fruitful in Jesus name

SlavaUkraini:
And when you are at the door 🚪

Leave your shoes 👟👟

Outside.

This rule is also forgotten

Nice

Dijita:

Call before you visit is not a Nigeria culture. We just show up.

If you tolerate that, many others don't. I personally don't.

Dijita:

Call before you visit is not a Nigeria culture. We just show up.

That was before the digital era bro...

Beekeeper1:
Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you ire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.

What a nice fiction!

Rule 1:
When I was living in face-me-I-clap-you you have to announce your presence before you see some naked bodies that will embarrass both you and your host

Rule 2: Have You Eaten.
Got me into problem as a youth corper with a Kogi lady. You don't reject food in their house, You don' compliment food and cooking skills, above all while she was fuming, I initially rejected her food, complimented her, talked while I was eating, I washed my hands inside the empty plate, when she refused to bring water for washing hand. I sworn never to visit her again

Rule 3: Caused me a friendship.
A newly acquired friend took me to his house, as an NNPC worker, I had a idea how his house was supposed to be, but I was shocked to a 14 inches TV, old cane chairs that looked like ed down items, I voiced out my surprised, Oga threw me out of his house and stopped talking to me for a very long while.


Rule 4. We don't talk much in my family, so we always go straight to the business that brought us to your house or to our own house

Beekeeper1:
Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you ire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.