NewStats: 3,264,423 , 8,183,696 topics. Date: Wednesday, 11 June 2025 at 03:33 AM 6a1gu

Just ask her “how does it sound coming from her mouth?” Like isn’t she supposed to put your cousin down for trying to say trash about you ? Are you kidding ? What’s wrong with your wife talking like you guys don’t leave together?

WantsandMore:
Just ask her “how does it sound coming from her mouth?” Like isn’t she supposed to put your cousin down for trying to say trash about you ? Are you kidding ? What’s wrong with your wife talking like you guys don’t leave together?

A part of me is beginning to resent the idea of family staying with me, i would in some cases rather give you money to rent a hotel than discomfort me with your words and dirty reasoning.

You could have told your wife yes, you did money ritual, atleast she could see the mansions you built and all the billions kept in the bank. That way, una go just laugh am off Your cousin no do well at all, he is nothing but an entitled idiot

Afonja101:
I've been married for the past 6years and blessed with two(2) kids. I'm just a guy hussling from being a teacher, house agent etc. My cousin came to visit me last week, he arrived when i was about going out, so i told him to just stay and wait for me since i won't stay out long. Never knew they had discussions with my wife before i came back. So when i back we gisted, ate together and laughed. Later in the evening when he was leaving i escorted him to get a cab then while i was escorting him, he said he need small cash like 5k from me cos he wants to travel to Abuja, then i told him honestly i don't have money but i can send 3k to his and he said no problem, then when he left I send the 3k to him, till today he hasn't called to say he has seen it or even thank you. Then Fast forward to today. I woke up from bed and was pressing my phone then my wife said she has something to ask me and i said to her go ahead, the next thing she asked was, did you go anywhere to get money? I answered how cos i don't understand, then she said my cousin brother told her that it seems i went somewhere (charm or babalawo) with my friends to get money because i don't like helping anybody in the family including him, that we were told not to help anybody with the money, infact the way he told my wife is as though he followed us to the place. According to her he also said i have money yet look at the phone she is using and also the phone i am using, that none of us is using a good phone.
I would have said maybe one of my friend tried to tarnish my image by telling him all these but my brother only knows two of my friends and those two, i can confidently tell you that he can't the last time he saw them because they don't stay in town and secondly talk has never ed any of them back in those days around 2007-2010 that he use to see them when he comes to my place.

Imagine what my own cousin brother would tell my wife...? I'm still in shock, how much do I have that i would help someone who doesn't have any responsibility? He's not married, neither does he have children. While i have a wife, 2 children and one of my late cousin's daughter staying with me because she's an orphan.

I'm the only one who knows the stress i face daily to cater for them. Yet, he says i don't like helping him or anyone in the family as if i have millions. I've never gone to any babalawo or whatever, I've never seen one with my eyes. To some extend I don't really trust my wife right now because only God know the conversation that led him to say all these.
Please guys what do you think?

Ask your wife too what was her reply to him.

I don't even know why you are bothering yourself and stressing yourself for nothing... people go dey talk nah, what of if to say you are wealthy true true that means you for don die of BP cos you go hear rumours about yourself tire

outside of what he said. Try to upgrade those phones. The major thing is that he believes you have money better that your living conditions. He is just trying to figure out that you are not spending your money and money you did ritual.

He started the discussion with your wife like na this phone you de use? She will laugh since you didn't buy phone give her. Your cousin they replied watin this your husband they use money so self. He has never help any body in the family. the fact you sent him 3k shows you are stingy let be frank. What's is the difference between 3 to 5k he request from you?. Not that he asked much. Also the guy has entitlement mentality . If he and your family have this mindset towards your like you are very stingy it will affect your in future time of needs. I'm not talking of needing money oh. But family in a kind of way

When will people learn to mind their business and focus on their own problem? Nigeria's economy isn't smiling on honest income earners, in fact middle class is becoming extinct these days, for the cousin to even go as far thinking of rituals shows he isn't really well in the head.

Afonja101:
I've been married for the past 6years and blessed with two(2) kids. I'm just a guy hussling from being a teacher, house agent etc. My cousin came to visit me last week, he arrived when i was about going out, so i told him to just stay and wait for me since i won't stay out long. Never knew they had discussions with my wife before i came back. So when i back we gisted, ate together and laughed. Later in the evening when he was leaving i escorted him to get a cab then while i was escorting him, he said he need small cash like 5k from me cos he wants to travel to Abuja, then i told him honestly i don't have money but i can send 3k to his and he said no problem, then when he left I send the 3k to him, till today he hasn't called to say he has seen it or even thank you. Then Fast forward to today. I woke up from bed and was pressing my phone then my wife said she has something to ask me and i said to her go ahead, the next thing she asked was, did you go anywhere to get money? I answered how cos i don't understand, then she said my cousin brother told her that it seems i went somewhere (charm or babalawo) with my friends to get money because i don't like helping anybody in the family including him, that we were told not to help anybody with the money, infact the way he told my wife is as though he followed us to the place. According to her he also said i have money yet look at the phone she is using and also the phone i am using, that none of us is using a good phone.
I would have said maybe one of my friend tried to tarnish my image by telling him all these but my brother only knows two of my friends and those two, i can confidently tell you that he can't the last time he saw them because they don't stay in town and secondly talk has never ed any of them back in those days around 2007-2010 that he use to see them when he comes to my place.

Imagine what my own cousin brother would tell my wife...? I'm still in shock, how much do I have that i would help someone who doesn't have any responsibility? He's not married, neither does he have children. While i have a wife, 2 children and one of my late cousin's daughter staying with me because she's an orphan.

I'm the only one who knows the stress i face daily to cater for them. Yet, he says i don't like helping him or anyone in the family as if i have millions. I've never gone to any babalawo or whatever, I've never seen one with my eyes. To some extend I don't really trust my wife right now because only God know the conversation that led him to say all these.
Please guys what do you think?

It is good to know your enemies. You just discovered one

AutoManual:
outside of what he said. Try to upgrade those phones. The major thing is that he believes you have money better that your living conditions. He is just trying to figure out that you are not spending your money and money you did ritual.

He started the discussion with your wife like na this phone you de use? She will laugh since you didn't buy phone give her. Your cousin they replied watin this your husband they use money so self. He has never help any body in the family. the fact you sent him 3k shows you are stingy let be frank. What's is the difference between 3 to 5k he request from you?. Not that he asked much. Also the guy has entitlement mentality . If he and your family have this mindset towards your like you are very stingy it will affect your in future time of needs. I'm not talking of needing money oh. But family in a kind of way

phone is not my problem ooo.. I have too much responsibility on my head. See house house rent, feeding, school is about resuming and na first term ooo, my niece staying with me. Guy i wish you know stress dealing with me. This cousin of mine is single without any responsibility. He even told my wife that he went and paid his girlfriend's school fees and also paid for her to learn work somewhere

Get rid of the idiot plsss

Afonja101:
I've been married for the past 6years and blessed with two(2) kids. I'm just a guy hussling from being a teacher, house agent etc. My cousin came to visit me last week, he arrived when i was about going out, so i told him to just stay and wait for me since i won't stay out long. Never knew they had discussions with my wife before i came back. So when i back we gisted, ate together and laughed. Later in the evening when he was leaving i escorted him to get a cab then while i was escorting him, he said he need small cash like 5k from me cos he wants to travel to Abuja, then i told him honestly i don't have money but i can send 3k to his and he said no problem, then when he left I send the 3k to him, till today he hasn't called to say he has seen it or even thank you. Then Fast forward to today. I woke up from bed and was pressing my phone then my wife said she has something to ask me and i said to her go ahead, the next thing she asked was, did you go anywhere to get money? I answered how cos i don't understand, then she said my cousin brother told her that it seems i went somewhere (charm or babalawo) with my friends to get money because i don't like helping anybody in the family including him, that we were told not to help anybody with the money, infact the way he told my wife is as though he followed us to the place. According to her he also said i have money yet look at the phone she is using and also the phone i am using, that none of us is using a good phone.
I would have said maybe one of my friend tried to tarnish my image by telling him all these but my brother only knows two of my friends and those two, i can confidently tell you that he can't the last time he saw them because they don't stay in town and secondly talk has never ed any of them back in those days around 2007-2010 that he use to see them when he comes to my place.

Imagine what my own cousin brother would tell my wife...? I'm still in shock, how much do I have that i would help someone who doesn't have any responsibility? He's not married, neither does he have children. While i have a wife, 2 children and one of my late cousin's daughter staying with me because she's an orphan.

I'm the only one who knows the stress i face daily to cater for them. Yet, he says i don't like helping him or anyone in the family as if i have millions. I've never gone to any babalawo or whatever, I've never seen one with my eyes. To some extend I don't really trust my wife right now because only God know the conversation that led him to say all these.
Please guys what do you think?

You broke a code. Which is not to allow your wife in company of anyone that visits you while you are not around. That's what led to all of these in the first place.

Secondly, you should have learnt not to have f*cks to give for irrelevant things in life such as this.

That's all I have to say.

Afonja101:
phone is not my problem ooo.. I have too much responsibility on my head. See house house rent, feeding, school is about resuming and na first term ooo, my niece staying with me. Guy i wish you know stress dealing with me. This cousin of mine is single without any responsibility. He even told my wife that he went and paid his girlfriend's school fees and also paid for her to learn work somewhere

I understand all of that. But atleast try to release when it come to family matters. E get why.

I dint have much. But anytime family called me for money issue. I de release anything i get.

Anyway i have a family that will never call you for money or help. But once they call just know the matter done de serious.

Mariangeles:


A married woman with a clean heart sees her husband's relatives as hers.



How long do you think she waited?

What is important is she didn't keep it from her husband.

Fault seekers!

This gender defence is unnecessary in this case.
The wife waited too long to bring up such a sensitive issue after hearing it from the cousin
A good spouse would have brought it up the same day.
Why was she keeping it? Because she believed it and was probably secretly looking for evidence?
That's unacceptable.

ChybuzzDD:


This gender defence is unnecessary in this case.
The wife waited too long to bring up such a sensitive issue after hearing it from the cousin
A good spouse would have brought it up the same day.
Why was she keeping it? Because she believed it and was probably secretly looking for evidence?
That's unacceptable.

Like I asked before, how long do you think she waited?
How long is "too long"?

The kOkO be say una dey find wetin no lost.

AutoManual:
I understand all of that. But atleast try to release when it come to family matters. E get why.

I dint have much. But anytime family called me for money issue. I de release anything i get.

Anyway i have a family that will never call you for money or help. But once they call just know the matter done de serious.

You didn't read where he talked about sending 3000 to the guy as what he could afford, the same way you "release anything you get" when called upon by relatives?

Or you want him to give everything he has?

Mariangeles:


Like I asked before, how long do you think she waited?
How long is "too long"?

The kOkO be say una dey find wetin no lost.

From the Op's write up, it took about a week(cousin came last week, wife asked him the question yesterday). That's too long for something that shouldn't have gone beyond the first day.

What was she processing? Was she secretly looking for evidence to confirm it?

ChybuzzDD:


You didn't read where he talked about sending 3000 to the guy as what he could afford, the same way you "release anything you get" when called upon by relatives?

Or you want him to give everything he has?

I wonder oooo.... I just tire for the way some people think. That same cousin of mine is living in a house that his parents left for him while me na rent ooo.

Afonja101:
I've been married for the past 6years and blessed with two(2) kids. I'm just a guy hussling from being a teacher, house agent etc. My cousin came to visit me last week, he arrived when i was about going out, so i told him to just stay and wait for me since i won't stay out long. Never knew they had discussions with my wife before i came back. So when i back we gisted, ate together and laughed. Later in the evening when he was leaving i escorted him to get a cab then while i was escorting him, he said he need small cash like 5k from me cos he wants to travel to Abuja, then i told him honestly i don't have money but i can send 3k to his and he said no problem, then when he left I send the 3k to him, till today he hasn't called to say he has seen it or even thank you. Then Fast forward to today. I woke up from bed and was pressing my phone then my wife said she has something to ask me and i said to her go ahead, the next thing she asked was, did you go anywhere to get money? I answered how cos i don't understand, then she said my cousin brother told her that it seems i went somewhere (charm or babalawo) with my friends to get money because i don't like helping anybody in the family including him, that we were told not to help anybody with the money, infact the way he told my wife is as though he followed us to the place. According to her he also said i have money yet look at the phone she is using and also the phone i am using, that none of us is using a good phone.
I would have said maybe one of my friend tried to tarnish my image by telling him all these but my brother only knows two of my friends and those two, i can confidently tell you that he can't the last time he saw them because they don't stay in town and secondly talk has never ed any of them back in those days around 2007-2010 that he use to see them when he comes to my place.

Imagine what my own cousin brother would tell my wife...? I'm still in shock, how much do I have that i would help someone who doesn't have any responsibility? He's not married, neither does he have children. While i have a wife, 2 children and one of my late cousin's daughter staying with me because she's an orphan.

I'm the only one who knows the stress i face daily to cater for them. Yet, he says i don't like helping him or anyone in the family as if i have millions. I've never gone to any babalawo or whatever, I've never seen one with my eyes. To some extend I don't really trust my wife right now because only God know the conversation that led him to say all these.
Please guys what do you think?

I think you should make a call and put it on 🔊, ask him if he received the money you sent to him

Followed by the gossip he had with your wife. Ask him about all your wife said about his statement.

Wether he accepts it or not tell him to stop coming close to your wife and your home because that statement he made is already breaking your home apart

After that make sure he head you, then tell him good bye

Dont ever call him again

Then over to your wife, face her for not defending you while he makes that statement

This will sound as a warning to her and other related issues that may come up with such from other external family

EreluRoz:
Create a metal fence and stop letting intruders come steal your peace

You meant mental right?

frozen70:


I think you should make a call and put it on 🔊, ask him if he received the money you sent to him

Followed by the gossip he had with your wife. Ask him about all your wife said about his statement.

Wether he accepts it or not tell him to stop coming close to your wife and your home because that statement he made is already breaking your home apart

After that make sure he head you, then tell him good bye

Dont ever call him again

Then over to your wife, face her for not defending you while he makes that statement

This will sound as a warning to her and other related issues that may come up with such from other external family

honestly you're so on point. I think that is what i should do but my wife would be angry about it. Well, to hell with her.

Afonja101:
honestly you're so on point. I think that is what i should do but my wife would be angry about it. Well, to hell with her.

If you wife will be angry let her be, this particular call will stop her from listening to nonsense from family

What concerns you now is to redeem your name and not her reaction

After all she didn't care to defend you when that statement was made

Afonja101:
I've been married for the past 6years and blessed with two(2) kids. I'm just a guy hussling from being a teacher, house agent etc. My cousin came to visit me last week, he arrived when i was about going out, so i told him to just stay and wait for me since i won't stay out long. Never knew they had discussions with my wife before i came back. So when i back we gisted, ate together and laughed. Later in the evening when he was leaving i escorted him to get a cab then while i was escorting him, he said he need small cash like 5k from me cos he wants to travel to Abuja, then i told him honestly i don't have money but i can send 3k to his and he said no problem, then when he left I send the 3k to him, till today he hasn't called to say he has seen it or even thank you. Then Fast forward to today. I woke up from bed and was pressing my phone then my wife said she has something to ask me and i said to her go ahead, the next thing she asked was, did you go anywhere to get money? I answered how cos i don't understand, then she said my cousin brother told her that it seems i went somewhere (charm or babalawo) with my friends to get money because i don't like helping anybody in the family including him, that we were told not to help anybody with the money, infact the way he told my wife is as though he followed us to the place. According to her he also said i have money yet look at the phone she is using and also the phone i am using, that none of us is using a good phone.
I would have said maybe one of my friend tried to tarnish my image by telling him all these but my brother only knows two of my friends and those two, i can confidently tell you that he can't the last time he saw them because they don't stay in town and secondly talk has never ed any of them back in those days around 2007-2010 that he use to see them when he comes to my place.

Imagine what my own cousin brother would tell my wife...? I'm still in shock, how much do I have that i would help someone who doesn't have any responsibility? He's not married, neither does he have children. While i have a wife, 2 children and one of my late cousin's daughter staying with me because she's an orphan.

I'm the only one who knows the stress i face daily to cater for them. Yet, he says i don't like helping him or anyone in the family as if i have millions. I've never gone to any babalawo or whatever, I've never seen one with my eyes. To some extend I don't really trust my wife right now because only God know the conversation that led him to say all these.
Please guys what do you think?

Just let him go, focus on fixing your home and your marriage; don’t listen to what people say.