NewStats: 3,259,774 , 8,170,886 topics. Date: Monday, 26 May 2025 at 12:26 AM x5w30

Good morning guys......long read alert

Actually need mature advice from people who have been in this situation before and mature minds.
About 3days ago i found out I probably have a son am not aware of.
Me and the mother had a fling sometime last year between march-april.....it was Nothing serious and it lasted just about 2 month before I relocated back to my based.

June last year she reached out about being pregnant and I actually warned her off cos i thought it was a lie and maybe she trying to extort me.

On Monday I didn't know what came over me and I decided to hi her on fb chat after over a year and 8month.
I just apologize to her on how I treated her back then and all.........after awhile she asked why am doing all that and I told her am just trying to reach out to most people I think I must have wrong in the past.
(She borrowed me some money before I relocated then and I didn't return it back although it was for things she got in the house then), she told me about the pregnant stuff again and tried to warn her off again but to my surprise she started forwarding pics of the baby and videos.

She was indeed pregnant and gave birth to the baby Jan 14th this year, the baby look very much like me and to some extent I believe is mine. (From calculation and timing)

Now this my problem..........am currently in a serious relationship with someone who is very good to me ,infact we are already processing relocating together cos her siblings are over there.

When I broke the news to my mum and sister they were very sentimental and bias....they didn't even give me a chance to properly explain.
To them they felt the lady is trying to force the baby on me and trying to ruin my relationship.
The question they kept asking is why now and where was she all this while.
They are insisting we do DNA test which i agree to but I still feel it comes out positive they already feel some type of way towards him which I dont like.

This lady doesn't want anything from me, infact she told me I can't see the baby and shouldn't even think of coming for him.

Am really confuse cos I don't even know what to do ,she not replying me again on fb and refuse to give her number.
She said *** I just want you to know you have baby boy somewhere and that all**

Should I try look for them and found out if the baby is mine or I should just move on.

Or what do you think is best decision for me ??

Do DNA and take responsibility for your action if it comes positive.

Never abandon your own child, it's a very bad thing to do.

Your conscience wont allow you rest if you abandon your own child,you never know how tomorrow may be. Look for the child and take responsibility even if it's sending her money monthly for the boy's upkeep

Aldol:
Your conscience wont allow you rest if you abandon your own child,you never know how tomorrow may be. Look for the child and take responsibility even if it's sending her money monthly for the boy's upkeep

Honestly my conscience is not making me rest at all.

I just can't afford be a deadbeat father.

The mother is making things difficult for me.......she not responding and I don't know where she Is currently residing

she just wants is to let u know u have a son somewhere.??......but doesn't need u and doesnt want u to be part of his life...?? Lol...


na format to make u pursue her ..because demanding anything from you will look desperate....if she truly doesn't want anything from u, she go block u....u wont be able to message her at all
...ignore her for a while....na she go message u say u wicked ooo after all she told u ...get DNA testing once she gives u access ....and start being part of your for ur child's welfare if the child is urs.

Tell ur girlfriend the 411...if she wants to continue .... no wahala..
...if u wan go marry the first babe just because she born for u...na ur wahala be that......

advanceDNA:
she just wants is to let u know u have a son somewhere.??......but doesn't need u and doesnt want u to be part of his life...?? Lol...


na format to make u pursue her ..because demanding anything from you will look desperate....if she truly doesn't want anything from u, she go block u....u wont be able to message her at all
...ignore her for a while....na she go message u say u wicked ooo after all she told u ...get DNA testing once she gives u access ....and start being part of your for ur child's welfare if the child is urs.

Tell ur girlfriend the 411...if she wants to continue .... no wahala..
...if u wan go marry the first babe just because she born for u...na ur wahala be that......

Person wey carry belle 9 month and taking care of a baby close to a year all by her self can't play such format.

Even the boy birth certificate nah her papa name dey there which means they don't give a Bleep about me.

Anyway your input noted just that it came out very immature with the razz talk.

Godoverevery:


Person wey carry belle 9 month and taking care of a baby close to a year all by her self can't play such format.

Even the boy birth certificate nah her papa name dey there which means they don't give a Bleep about me.

Anyway your input noted just that it came out very immature with the razz talk.

Lol....them no give ur child ur name...but them tell u say u get son?? This is fvnny......

Okay oooo....na me dey immature...but wey dey chook ur penis any where without condom l, u mature well well abi?? She tell u say she pregnant..u ignore am say she wan extort you..but na me dey immature...lol ....

In 5 years time,you will definitely realize that the amount of money you must have spent raising another man's child would be more than the money you should have spent on the DNA test now....

Godoverevery:


Honestly my conscience is not making me rest at all.

I just can't afford be a deadbeat father.

The mother is making things difficult for me.......she not responding and I don't know where she Is currently residing

Chat with her numerous friends on Facebook,disguise like her old class mate or something and ask for her address. Use any means possible

advanceDNA:
she just wants is to let u know u have a son somewhere.??......but doesn't need u and doesnt want u to be part of his life...?? Lol...


na format to make u pursue her ..because demanding anything from you will look desperate....if she truly doesn't want anything from u, she go block u....u wont be able to message her at all
...ignore her for a while....na she go message u say u wicked ooo after all she told u ...get DNA testing once she gives u access ....and start being part of your for ur child's welfare if the child is urs.

Tell ur girlfriend the 411...if she wants to continue .... no wahala..
...if u wan go marry the first babe just because she born for u...na ur wahala be that......

I doubt if it is a format.

When the guy was not serious when she told him about the pregnancy about a year ago, according to the OP, the lady did not trouble him again.

She went through the pregnancy and delivery on her own, anyone can imagine the emotional turmoil she went through.

Also, even after the delivery she did not the OP, it was the OP that initiated the and she had to let him know.

I think she is real and the OP showing interest now is making her relive the pains, emotions, turmoils, heartbreaks, etc and she has the right to go through those cycles of emotions.

My advise for the OP is not to give up, keep sending her message, make it a duty to be sending her message either twice a week or weekly, she will eventually open up.

Also discuss this with your fiancée that, there is a possibility that you may be the father of baby but you have not done the DNA test yet.

I do not think this is the right time to do a DNA test, normalize relationship with your alleged child first.

linearity:


I doubt if it is a format.

When the guy was not serious when she told him about the pregnancy about a year ago, according to the OP, the lady did not trouble him again.

She went through the pregnancy and delivery on her own, anyone can imagine the emotional turmoil she went through.

Also, even after the delivery she did not the OP, it was the OP that initiated the and she had to let him know.

I think she is real and the OP showing interest now is making her relive the pains, emotions, turmoils, heartbreaks, etc and she has the right to go through those cycles of emotions.

My advise for the OP is not to give up, keep sending her message, make it a duty to be sending her message either twice a week or weekly, she will eventually open up.

Also discuss this with your fiancée that, there is a possibility that you may be the father of baby but you have not done the DNA test yet.

I do not think this is the right time to do a DNA test, normalize relationship with your alleged child first.

They had a fling.....is she supposed to drag him to be part of the child before he was born...besides the nigga shenked her thinking she wanted to extort him when she told him about being pregnant...

So I don't get...she doesn't want him, doesn't want him to have his son or be part of his life, didn't even give the boy ops name.....so what's the point of telling him he has a son??

advanceDNA:



Lol....them no give ur child ur name...but them tell u say u get son?? This is fvnny......

Okay oooo....na me dey immature...but wey dey chook ur penis any where without condom l, u mature well well abi?? She tell u say she pregnant..u ignore am say she wan extort you..but na me dey immature...lol ....

Guy be serious jare.

No dey use me catch cruise......honestly the thing driving me crazy.

Sonnobax15:

In 5 years time,you will definitely realize that the amount of money you must have spent raising another man's child would be more than the money you should have spent on the DNA test now....

Na dis one be the most intelligent answer so far!

advanceDNA:


They had a fling.....is she supposed to drag him to be part of the child before he was born...besides the nigga shenked her thinking she wanted to extort him when she told him about being pregnant...

So I don't get...she doesn't want him, doesn't want him to have his son or be part of his life, didn't even give the boy ops name.....so what's the point of telling him he has a son??

hmmm, is a two months relationship still considered a fling? Even one night stands results in pregnancy and serious dragging.

If she truly want to drag the OP, she would take him to court, put him on and still get custody of the child since it is out of wedlock.

But, she did not do all that. I think her saying she does not want him in the son’s life is out of anger and given the circumstances, her anger is justified.

The OP should give her time but not let go, you should NEVER ABANDON your blood anywhere despite the insistence of the mother that you must do.

Godoverevery:


Guy be serious jare.

No dey use me catch cruise......honestly the thing driving me crazy.

.nor be cruise ....na the angle u decide to view my comment from dey make am look like cruise...
See guy....telling u she doesn't need u and doesnt want ur son's life after saying u have a son is a subtle power move.....It's suppose drive u crazy .....

If she comes with dragging u, and demanding for money..she will look desperate, and in need....and u will counter her like before....this move the best way to get u running after her after u technically denied her when u thought she wanted to extort you...

That's why I said...give her time ...shebi she nor answer....na she go ring u later...