I've been married for four years now, and it seems my wife has become a stranger.
We've been having issues from the first year, mostly on different styles of life.
I am a guy who loves managing resources and very focused on achievements because I was born with a silver spoon but lost it due to the death of my father, I never wanted to experience the same thing as I did when he died.
She on the other hand is comfortable and okay with what she has, not too bothered about achievements.
I've been calling for management of resources for a while but she's the type that grew up in a very comfortable home and knows not how to manage resources.
Another issue on my part is that, she does not really care about how she looks and that's one of the things I care about.
I lost, or should I say resigned from my first job due to pressure and things became hard. I had to sell some of my landed properties so we could survive.
I got another Job and in six months, I made millions. We lived well until I wanted to chase my ion in banking again.
Got back into banking and to cut the story short, I met one lady where I was sent to. I loved her. I wish I had met her first honestly. In a year, she showed me a lot in the kind of woman I wanted. Then I lost my job again, this time because I wanted to go for youth service.
I got back home and I told my wife the game plan. I bought foodstuffs for at least two months and went for camp. In less than a week, my mother called me and was angry why I left my wife and two kids hungry. I exeated camp immediately and came back home. After investigating, I found out she sent the food to her mother who is an associate professor, without telling me and while she knows out conditions.
I got so angry. I wanted her out.
I considered things because my second child which she had by force is just 5months. She had the baby because she stopped taking contraceptives because of advice from people that if she has a male child for me, I'll stay.
After much, she can't leave, because who will take care of the boy?
Yesterday, she read my messages and discovered I was having an affair and wants to leave. I told the lady off this morning but, I still loved her.
I can't allow that. Even if she does, she has to wait for the boy to be at least a year old. she was the one that wanted this baby, not me. Now she wants to leave the liability for me?
And I can't allow my kids to grow with her because I don't want them to learn such lifestyle.
What should I do?
you need to understand something, we are all flawed.
None of us have it 💯
The lady you think you're in love with is just a glittering object, one you are yet to find her fault.
Please apologize to your wife for your unfaithfulness.
The day men will understand that women do not love them is the day men will start to understand women. You see that side chik, she does not love you or care about your children. Assuming you bring her in and she starts getting her own children, baba your eyes go clear. Better sit you wife down and TALK some senses into her, even as na you still need the sense , cos i no see her offending you. You and your wife na team mate o. ode
skj1377:
The woman you think behaves better is because she has not married you yet. Once she does she may be worse than your wife 4yrs down the line. No woman is better than any woman . Face your life oga.
Says who?
Even better men than their counterparts.... No dey deceive yourself abeg
JayDaily2: You allowed your wife to use contraceptives, that may be the roots and the cause of most of her problems, women should avoid contraceptives, It disbalances hormones and pollutes the mindset of a woman therein causing unnecessary behavioral switches.
The brain of a woman is naturally unstable, When she adds contraceptives to that, expect drama.
I recommend you to search and the Telegram channel called IAJ ONLINE for best financial and daily lifestyle education.
Please and please and please, settle with your wife. Many things we do, we do not for ourselves but for family.
From your story, at this point your wife is desperate to keep you, even going as far as having a child, hoping its a male child. Take the focus away from yourself for a second and think about why she Wants to keep you. She loves you and the family shes made with you. I think you are wrapped in the disappointment over her that you are seeking for love elsewhere and anywhere.
Let me prove this to you: Your mind tells you that the lady at work loves you, and she may have her iration for you, but you started the whole love thread cos of your issues at home, she only jumped on the train cos you seemed to be more than average serious or crazy about her. Tell you what, she didnt share in igniting it, she can disengage easily. Dont throw away our wife and family for someone you just met.
chatinent:
Well done, Idan, you tried so much to paint yourself as the light in this story when really you are 11pm.
Just look as how you made having an affair trivial and still shooting blanks as blames to your wife for not overlooking it when you told the lady off. Would you be so trivial if it was your wife having an affair?
Secondly, all those your NYSC prelim stories, your layoff, your this, your that, was not the problem you had! Just go straight to your adulterous sexual innuendos and stop the pity bluffs already! Your conscience was your first judge but you had to backup what you did with an introductory pity tale...well, bad news, no pity given. You were already looking for a reason to remove your wife figure in your life so you can envelope your new affair.
You need to work on yourself! You are the problem! I don't mince words.
When you have someone good, stop looking for someone better.
I've been married for four years now, and it seems my wife has become a stranger.
We've been having issues from the first year, mostly on different styles of life.
I am a guy who loves managing resources and very focused on achievements because I was born with a silver spoon but lost it due to the death of my father, I never wanted to experience the same thing as I did when he died.
She on the other hand is comfortable and okay with what she has, not too bothered about achievements.
I've been calling for management of resources for a while but she's the type that grew up in a very comfortable home and knows not how to manage resources.
Another issue on my part is that, she does not really care about how she looks and that's one of the things I care about.
I lost, or should I say resigned from my first job due to pressure and things became hard. I had to sell some of my landed properties so we could survive.
I got another Job and in six months, I made millions. We lived well until I wanted to chase my ion in banking again.
Got back into banking and to cut the story short, I met one lady where I was sent to. I loved her. I wish I had met her first honestly. In a year, she showed me a lot in the kind of woman I wanted. Then I lost my job again, this time because I wanted to go for youth service.
I got back home and I told my wife the game plan. I bought foodstuffs for at least two months and went for camp. In less than a week, my mother called me and was angry why I left my wife and two kids hungry. I exeated camp immediately and came back home. After investigating, I found out she sent the food to her mother who is an associate professor, without telling me and while she knows out conditions.
I got so angry. I wanted her out.
I considered things because my second child which she had by force is just 5months. She had the baby because she stopped taking contraceptives because of advice from people that if she has a male child for me, I'll stay.
After much, she can't leave, because who will take care of the boy?
Yesterday, she read my messages and discovered I was having an affair and wants to leave. I told the lady off this morning but, I still loved her.
I can't allow that. Even if she does, she has to wait for the boy to be at least a year old. she was the one that wanted this baby, not me. Now she wants to leave the liability for me?
And I can't allow my kids to grow with her because I don't want them to learn such lifestyle.
What should I do?
Your desperation has cost you so much...one error to the other....the fact that you left a job to face nysc after touching millions in your life tells me you are NEVER coming out of this problem. God has helped you so much but you just can’t find a way to stabilize your own life.
This OP is a uselss boy,because of cheating and another woman u messed up your own marriage, he is even calling his own son liability, even if your mother inlaw is a multi billionaire she will still be very happy seeing her daughter giving her something, i have a friend too like that after 14yrs of marriage and has tasted another lady outisde,he destroyed his marriage with his own hand and start lieing up and down that the wife is a witch and that she disappear up and down in the house,can you imagine this?
Liverpoolfc:
You must either be on kolos or immature. You are in a very wrong tract. Men ought to love who they marry.
Wrong. Men ought to love whoever deserves to be loved the way women decide whether to respect a man or not depending on what he does for them. The end.
Dimaya:
OP, you have to mend your marriage. It doesn't matter whether you wanted the child or not, the child is here and has to be raised well by both his parents.
I don't care whatever the sidechic tells you, she doesn't care about you or what happens to your family and children. In all likelihood, this is how she thinks about you and your wife:
Women do NOT love men. They see men mostly as utility- an implement/instrument that can be used. If the outside lady sees you finish like your wife has, she too will start to misbehave.
Also, when women have children, they are forced to change. Raising children especially below age 5, is extremely stressful. Your wife will have sleepless nights and she won't get enough rest. Better adapt and seek of family in childcare. It seems your wife is experiencing parenting burnout. She needs your understanding. You both need patience.
OP, you can still repair your marriage. Go to your wife, plead with her to overlook your indiscretions. Tell her it was a moment of weakness. And work on getting your family back together. Don't let your children suffer the consequences of growing up in a broken home.
These are tricky love decisions. I wish you all the best.
All these things wey you write no make any meaning. Nobody sent her to have children if she wasn’t ready. All this excuse of parental stress, nobody force you marry born pikin. There’s always one long explanation when women start misbehaving, when man misbehave e go be say e just be bad person.
Special advise for you...Kindly settle your home, that side chick will leave you when road is tough, create time for your wife and let her understand you better, the future is more important than now, that lady that is showing you love and humility will change once you marry her because she knows you won't want third wife. Experience is the best teacher, most men in this situation can't share their horrible memories with people with single wife, they will give you advice to get second wife so that you too can be in their shoe.
Dimaya:
OP, you have to mend your marriage. It doesn't matter whether you wanted the child or not, the child is here and has to be raised well by both his parents.
I don't care whatever the sidechic tells you, she doesn't care about you or what happens to your family and children. In all likelihood, this is how she thinks about you and your wife:
Women do NOT love men. They see men mostly as utility- an implement/instrument that can be used. If the outside lady sees you finish like your wife has, she too will start to misbehave.
Also, when women have children, they are forced to change. Raising children especially below age 5, is extremely stressful. Your wife will have sleepless nights and she won't get enough rest. Better adapt and seek of family in childcare. It seems your wife is experiencing parenting burnout. She needs your understanding. You both need patience.
OP, you can still repair your marriage. Go to your wife, plead with her to overlook your indiscretions. Tell her it was a moment of weakness. And work on getting your family back together. Don't let your children suffer the consequences of growing up in a broken home.
These are tricky love decisions. I wish you all the best.
Ezeashawo:
she was the one that wanted this baby, not me. Now she wants to leave the liability for me?
You are so disgusting bro. See the rubbish you post on a public forum. Are you trying to defend your cheating with all the litany of things u said about your wife? Grow up. If u never loved her why did u Merry her? Your issue is that woman outside not your wife. U have divided the love you were to give to your family with a good for nothing woman out there
I knew he's stupid when he mentioned that statement you quoted up there....
I've been married for four years now, and it seems my wife has become a stranger.
We've been having issues from the first year, mostly on different styles of life.
I am a guy who loves managing resources and very focused on achievements because I was born with a silver spoon but lost it due to the death of my father, I never wanted to experience the same thing as I did when he died.
She on the other hand is comfortable and okay with what she has, not too bothered about achievements.
I've been calling for management of resources for a while but she's the type that grew up in a very comfortable home and knows not how to manage resources.
Another issue on my part is that, she does not really care about how she looks and that's one of the things I care about.
I lost, or should I say resigned from my first job due to pressure and things became hard. I had to sell some of my landed properties so we could survive.
I got another Job and in six months, I made millions. We lived well until I wanted to chase my ion in banking again.
Got back into banking and to cut the story short, I met one lady where I was sent to. I loved her. I wish I had met her first honestly. In a year, she showed me a lot in the kind of woman I wanted. Then I lost my job again, this time because I wanted to go for youth service.
I got back home and I told my wife the game plan. I bought foodstuffs for at least two months and went for camp. In less than a week, my mother called me and was angry why I left my wife and two kids hungry. I exeated camp immediately and came back home. After investigating, I found out she sent the food to her mother who is an associate professor, without telling me and while she knows out conditions.
I got so angry. I wanted her out.
I considered things because my second child which she had by force is just 5months. She had the baby because she stopped taking contraceptives because of advice from people that if she has a male child for me, I'll stay.
After much, she can't leave, because who will take care of the boy?
Yesterday, she read my messages and discovered I was having an affair and wants to leave. I told the lady off this morning but, I still loved her.
I can't allow that. Even if she does, she has to wait for the boy to be at least a year old. she was the one that wanted this baby, not me. Now she wants to leave the liability for me?
And I can't allow my kids to grow with her because I don't want them to learn such lifestyle.
What should I do?
So you want us to validate your evil intentions? Does what you are doing seem right to you? Seriously, some me disgusting me. You have kids with her...imagine one day u are reading how ur father was cheating on ur mom with a hoe and tell people about how he loves her. How will that damage you
I've been married for four years now, and it seems my wife has become a stranger.
We've been having issues from the first year, mostly on different styles of life.
I am a guy who loves managing resources and very focused on achievements because I was born with a silver spoon but lost it due to the death of my father, I never wanted to experience the same thing as I did when he died.
She on the other hand is comfortable and okay with what she has, not too bothered about achievements.
I've been calling for management of resources for a while but she's the type that grew up in a very comfortable home and knows not how to manage resources.
Another issue on my part is that, she does not really care about how she looks and that's one of the things I care about.
I lost, or should I say resigned from my first job due to pressure and things became hard. I had to sell some of my landed properties so we could survive.
I got another Job and in six months, I made millions. We lived well until I wanted to chase my ion in banking again.
Got back into banking and to cut the story short, I met one lady where I was sent to. I loved her. I wish I had met her first honestly. In a year, she showed me a lot in the kind of woman I wanted. Then I lost my job again, this time because I wanted to go for youth service.
I got back home and I told my wife the game plan. I bought foodstuffs for at least two months and went for camp. In less than a week, my mother called me and was angry why I left my wife and two kids hungry. I exeated camp immediately and came back home. After investigating, I found out she sent the food to her mother who is an associate professor, without telling me and while she knows out conditions.
I got so angry. I wanted her out.
I considered things because my second child which she had by force is just 5months. She had the baby because she stopped taking contraceptives because of advice from people that if she has a male child for me, I'll stay.
After much, she can't leave, because who will take care of the boy?
Yesterday, she read my messages and discovered I was having an affair and wants to leave. I told the lady off this morning but, I still loved her.
I can't allow that. Even if she does, she has to wait for the boy to be at least a year old. she was the one that wanted this baby, not me. Now she wants to leave the liability for me?
And I can't allow my kids to grow with her because I don't want them to learn such lifestyle.
I'm shocked at why you'd call your own son a liability
I think he's referring to the situation where his wife leaves and leaves the baby behind. He knows he can't take care of the baby alone. That's what he meant.
BTW: @op is a newbie on Nairaland to have come here with this kind of story where he clearly called himself a cheat, Nairalanders would roast him alive.
I think he's deactivated his , I trust my people
lakeside30:
This OP is a uselss boy,because of cheating and another woman u messed up your own marriage, he is even calling his own son liability, even if your mother inlaw is a multi billionaire she will still be very happy seeing her daughter giving her something, i have a friend too like that after 14yrs of marriage and has tasted another lady outisde,he destroyed his marriage with his own hand and start lieing up and down that the wife is a witch and that she disappear up and down in the house,can you imagine this?
Wrong! If she has more than them, nothing stops her from assisting them so that tensions wouldn't be unnecessarily building up in their marriage like this. Why would she pack all the food in the house for her mother and start wailing again?
JayDaily2: You allowed your wife to use contraceptives, that may be the roots and the cause of most of her problems, women should avoid contraceptives, It disbalances hormones and pollutes the mindset of a woman therein causing unnecessary behavioral switches.
The brain of a woman is naturally unstable, When she adds contraceptives to that, expect drama.
I recommend you to search and the Telegram channel called IAJ ONLINE for best financial and daily lifestyle education.
What do you mean by the brain of a woman is naturally unstable?
. Calling your own child a liability 