NewStats: 3,259,531 , 8,170,435 topics. Date: Sunday, 25 May 2025 at 01:24 PM t2o1r

Hello Fam
I am newly married.
Based in Abuja


I was in JOS in December 2022 for Christmas at my husband family house. Then back to Abua

We traveled back to Jos this February 2023 (2months ago) for our Church wedding 💍

My husband is compelling that i will travel 🧳 with him to Jos for Easter This April 2023

He Loves his parents dearly. Like our Anambra brothers usually do.
I Respect that Umunnem oo!

We are in April now. My husband wants me to travel 🧳 with him to Jos for Easter celebrations at the family house.

How do i tell tmy dear husband... I don't want to go to Jos this April
Since we will still travel to Jos in December 2023 For Christmas 🎁 by God's grace
My in-law are wonderful people.


I just feel i want to rest small, get a job. B4 December Travel to Jos for Christmas celebrations.

I even have a job interview online Easter Monday.


How do i convince my sweetheart Politely and Respectfully. Say make we no travel 🧳 now till December.


He typically does NOT take No for an answer
My husband na Alpha Male oo
Make una self me script a sweet convincing polite answer. I just weak oo since morning

Since you’re newly married, do not just see him as a husband, see, take and treat him as your best friend. In these early stages of your marriage, create more bond with him and fill any communication gap….
Enjoy the Jos vacation with him, Easter is just a-weekend holiday…… December is still far and who knows you may become double by then and have a good reason not to embark on stressful journeys..
For now, enjoy your young-blooming marriage ..

Please love, I know you don't love it when people offend you. Please can you postpone the journey to december, the you knee to make him feel pity. That will work, and don't forget to thank me later

Hello, if you both can afford to fly to and fro to enjoy the Easter break, why NOT, he is still on fire for your love, he can't understand NO at this early moment, except on health ground.

Tankful001:
Hello, if you both can afford to fly to and fro to enjoy the Easter break, why NOT, he is still on fire for your love, he can't understand NO at this early moment, except on health ground.

He doesn't take no for an answer and I don't understand why.

He doesn't respect you or care about what you want.

Just make him see reasons with you, to start with remind him of your video interview you have on Easter Monday and how travelling will affect your performance also make him feel as the head of the family while telling him that will make him accept your permission. Happy married life.

Why can't he take no for an answer I don't understand, na master slave marriage you signed up for? If you say no with good reasons what will happen? He will kill you?

Settle it on your knees in prayers first. Tell God to touch his heart.

Then prepare his favorite meal and make special nkwobi or pepper soup. Serve him on your knees. Let him suspect you're up to something to prepare his mind for what's coming than taking him unawares. When he starts smiling and nodding his head, then rub his back gently and tell him you want to ask him for a favor.

Put it to him in the most appealing and polite way expressing your concern and genuine reasons why you don't feel up to traveling now.
If he says no. Don't argue, go back to God in prayers . He'll agree.

Ayobammi20:
Please love, I know you don't love it when people offend you. Please can you postpone the journey to december, the you knee to make him feel pity. That will work, and don't forget to thank me later

Women are their own worst enemies…

OP, you see those mischievous street dogs barking up there 👆, just because you used “no for an answer” to describe your sweetheart’s personality?? Those bitter dogs up there 👆 were/are never married. They don’t know what marriage is and they do not enjoy the fulfillment of heart that comes with building one’s own family. Your status now is what many of them fervently pray/wish for but it never came their way … avoid them at all cost .. and never take marital advice from their ilks.

Like I said, it’s too early to engage in argumentative discussions with your life partner just because of a weekend vacation….

Count your blessings!!
On that Easter weekend there are many mischievous men who would leave their spouse to spend holiday with the type of married-men daters like those up there calling your beautiful union a master slave …

Early mor mor you wan invite devil

Billionaire2:
Women are their own worst enemies…

OP, you see those mischievous street dogs barking up there 👆, just because you used “no for an answer” to describe your sweetheart’s personality?? Those bitter dogs up there 👆 were/are never married. They don’t know what marriage is and they do not enjoy the fulfillment of heart that comes with building one’s own family. Your status now is what many of them fervently pray/wish for but it never came their way … avoid them at all cost .. and never take marital advice from their ilks.

Like I said, it’s too early to engage in argumentative discussions with your life partner just because of a weekend vacation….

Count your blessings!!
On that Easter weekend there are many mischievous men who would leave their spouse to spend holiday with the type of married-men daters like those up there calling your beautiful union a master slave …

Guy, which one is women are their own worst enemies? Between man to man and woman to woman, who dey kill each other ? Go to Nigeria prisons and do census of men who killed their fellow men and compare it to that of women.

Who is the man or woman that can't take NO for an answer when it comes to relationship? Is getting used to hearing NO, not part of learning social skills and communication or do you expect people in your life to always say YES?🙄

They are now married and are their own nuclear family while parents on both sides are now extended family . This is their first Easter celebration as a married couple and should be exclusive to them, if they have friends in Abuja, they can decide to make arrangements with those friends to hangout and have fun, haba they were with the husband's family just 2 months ago!

Moreover, OP should be preparing for her job interview on Monday and not doing road trips and be engaged with running around in the family house in Jos as "expected" from a daughter-in-law.

The husband should realize he is now married and have to start having exclusive holidays with his wife without his birth family in the mix..

a fully charged man hardly understands. no excuses,,,
you know what?, we ed through this phase.
at a time u ll be the one begging for it while ur man will be
less interested. i advice, u prepare ur mind.

It's like you're afraid of your husband.

A spouse is someone that is supposed to be your best friend, someone that you can freely express yourself with without any worries or fear.

I really wish that I could give you a better advice, but as his wife, you're the one that is supposed to know your husband better than everyone else and how to convince him.

Will answer your question from my experience - will be 9 years in marriage in 4 months.

I really don't think of marriage as a special thing. Maybe it's because I handle everyone with utmost respect. I have always compared having a spouse with having a roommate. If my roommate wants me to go elsewhere with him and I don't want to, I just tell him, politely. This is simple and basic human conversation.

I won't advise you see marriage as one major issue. It'll only give you too much of headache. Love your husband, respect him (like you should respect other humans), care for him like you would others, him.. Of course, he should be prioritized.

I don't know if I've successfully ed my message. Just tell hubby, tell him your reasons
.. Of course, politely.

Good luck, and may God continue to bless and prosper your home.

Channah1:
Settle it on your knees in prayers first. Tell God to touch his heart.

Then prepare his favorite meal and make special nkwobi or pepper soup. Serve him on your knees. Let him suspect you're up to something to prepare his mind for what's coming than taking him unawares. When he starts smiling and nodding his head, then rub his back gently and tell him you want to ask him for a favor.

Put it to him in the most appealing and polite way expressing your concern and genuine reasons why you don't feel up to traveling now.
If he says no. Don't argue, go back to God in prayers . He'll agree.

Maybe this will work, but I honestly think ALL THESE THINGS ARE TOO MUCH! Kneel to serve your husband food? Why? As a husband (wifie and I will be 9 years in August), I won't and can't have my wife kneel for me for any reason. In fact, all she needs is to speak, if it's something that can work, fine. Otherwise, we explore alternatives.

But again, no two homes are the same. Just do what you have to do to make your home work. I just wish people can be this simplistic, not just in marriages, in life as a whole.

In the hospital, when my juniors call me "chief" (some will even bring two hands to shake me), I call them "chief" too and shake them with my two hands. I've tried to protest that they should stop, but since them no gree, we fit run am together.

Humility, love, genuine respect for each other, and absolute simplicity are the essential ingredients we need to make life here on earth sweet.

TONYE001:


Maybe this will work, but I honestly think ALL THESE THINGS ARE TOO MUCH! Kneel to serve your husband food? Why? As a husband (wifie and I will be 9 years in August), I won't and can't have my wife kneel for me for any reason. In fact, all she needs is to speak, if it's something that can work, fine. Otherwise, we explore alternatives.

But again, no two homes are the same. Just do what you have to do to make your home work. I just wish people can be this simplistic, not just in marriages, in life as a whole.

In the hospital, when my juniors call me "chief" (some will even bring two hands to shake me), I call them "chief" too and shake them with my two hands. I've tried to protest that they should stop, but since them no gree, we fit run am together.

Humility, love, genuine respect for each other, and absolute simplicity are the essential ingredients we need to make life here on earth sweet.

God bless you all
Wonderful Family NLanders

For your advice and onition...
True true, no 2 homes are the same

Ayobammi20:
Please love, I know you don't love it when people offend you. Please can you postpone the journey to december, the you knee to make him feel pity. That will work, and don't forget to thank me later

Thank you ❣️
Daalu

TONYE001:
Will answer your question from my experience - will be 9 years in marriage in 4 months.

I really don't think of marriage as a special thing. Maybe it's because I handle everyone with utmost respect. I have always compared having a spouse with having a roommate. If my roommate wants me to go elsewhere with him and I don't want to, I just tell him, politely. This is simple and basic human conversation.

I won't advise you see marriage as one major issue. It'll only give you too much of headache. Love your husband, respect him (like you should respect other humans), care for him like you would others, him.. Of course, he should be prioritized.

I don't know if I've successfully ed my message. Just tell hubby, tell him your reasons
.. Of course, politely.

Good luck, and may God continue to bless and prosper your home.

God bless you for the advice 🙏
Daalu!

Billionaire2:
Since you’re newly married, do not just see him as a husband, see, take and treat him as your best friend. In these early stages of your marriage, create more bond with him and fill any communication gap….
Enjoy the Jos vacation with him, Easter is just a-weekend holiday…… December is still far and who knows you may become double by then and have a good reason not to embark on stressful journeys..
For now, enjoy your young-blooming marriage ..

Thank you ❤️
For the advice. God bless you
Daalu

Davidave:
He doesn't take no for an answer and I don't understand why.

He doesn't respect you or care about what you want.

I appreciat you all for your inputs
And advice
Daalu

Samantha124:
It's like you're afraid of your husband.

A spouse is someone that is supposed to be your best friend, someone that you can freely express yourself with without any worries or fear.

I really wish that I could give you a better advice, but as his wife, you're the one that is supposed to know your husband better than everyone else and how to convince him.

Thank you ❤️ God bless you all Family session of NLander
For the advice.
Daalu.

Ayobammi20:
Please love, I know you don't love it when people offend you. Please can you postpone the journey to december, the you knee to make him feel pity. That will work, and don't forget to thank me later

Thank you ❤️
For the advice.
Daalu

Samantha124:
It's like you're afraid of your husband.

A spouse is someone that is supposed to be your best friend, someone that you can freely express yourself with without any worries or fear.

I really wish that I could give you a better advice, but as his wife, you're the one that is supposed to know your husband better than everyone else and how to convince him.

Thanks for your input
God bless you all

Billionaire2:
Since you’re newly married, do not just see him as a husband, see, take and treat him as your best friend. In these early stages of your marriage, create more bond with him and fill any communication gap….
Enjoy the Jos vacation with him, Easter is just a-weekend holiday…… December is still far and who knows you may become double by then and have a good reason not to embark on stressful journeys..
For now, enjoy your young-blooming marriage ..

I appreciate your advice.
I hold you all in high esteem.
Daalu

I don't know what daalu means, but I like it..

thatigbogirl4NL:




Thank you ❤️ God bless you all Family session of NLander
For the advice.
Daalu.

You sound too humbled and I have a feeling that you're married to a beast of a husband...

I'm guessing you're the kind of a woman most Nigerian men see as a wife material.

thatigbogirl4NL:



Thanks for your input
God bless you all

thatigbogirl4NL:
Hello Fam
I am newly married.
Based in Abuja


I was in JOS in December 2022 for Christmas at my husband family house. Then back to Abua

We traveled back to Jos this February 2023 (2months ago) for our Church wedding 💍

My husband is compelling that i will travel 🧳 with him to Jos for Easter This April 2023

He Loves his parents dearly. Like our Anambra brothers usually do.
I Respect that Umunnem oo!

We are in April now. My husband wants me to travel 🧳 with him to Jos for Easter celebrations at the family house.

How do i tell tmy dear husband... I don't want to go to Jos this April
Since we will still travel to Jos in December 2023 For Christmas 🎁 by God's grace
My in-law are wonderful people.


I just feel i want to rest small, get a job. B4 December Travel to Jos for Christmas celebrations.

I even have a job interview online Easter Monday.


How do i convince my sweetheart Politely and Respectfully. Say make we no travel 🧳 now till December.


He typically does NOT take No for an answer
My husband na Alpha Male oo
Make una self me script a sweet convincing polite answer. I just weak oo since morning

Thank you ❤️ all family.
I just clocked 29 in December.
A lot is changing and happening to me so fast.
The picture is really changing...


From my baby experience...
we are going to Jos.

Reason. My in-laws are 70 & 80yrs

They are retired. Often feel lonely.
My husband never misses JOS . Easter and December...
He is not the only Son.
But he is the one who bonds most with them.
Omo... So i have just decided to be empathetic also...cus i also have although no too aged Parents. ( dad and mum alive

So i will him. Against my will or comfort, for good conscience and posterity sake, I have no choice.
If i don't it might send the wrong 🚦 signals. I might be grossly misunderstood
His parents are wonderful people i say again.



Notabene: Abeg beautiful single ladies. Before you marry. If a guy is glued to his parent or bonds well with them. Just know after marriage. You can not change that. ...
You either complement him and u too become super glue to his parents. Else. E no go funny. Especially if na igbo guy.


Also if a guy likes watching Football at viewing center before you married him. He will not change after marriage... If he hangs out late and chills out with his male friends. After marriage,that will not change.. also if his an introvert that has zero or no friends before marriage. After marriage. He the husband might cut u off from your social life style or your harem of girlfriends. U either accept it
Or una go dey fight everyday...
Accept it oo... Once they marry us. They become fully in charge expecially igbo guy who have the financial upper hand. Omo i stubborn
Ooo ... i enter relationship plus I con marry turn sheep!

you can not change a man above 30. Niether can you force ur opinion or political correctness. Else na hellfire.

I am saying this from the experience of the Sheges and Shege promax i have experienced in the past. Thank you all and God bless you.

thatigbogirl4NL:

I just feel i want to rest small, get a job. B4 December Travel to Jos for Christmas celebrations. I even have a job interview online Easter Monday. How do i convince my sweetheart Politely and Respectfully. Say make we no travel 🧳 now till December. He typically does NOT take No for an answer. My husband na Alpha Male oo
Make una self me script a sweet convincing polite answer. I just weak oo since morning

Forget everythinh else and focus on the fact that the need for a job is a must for you. Convince yourself that even as a married woman you need to have something doing and need to have your own income coming in regardless of everything else. There is a desperate reason why you need to do this for yourself and your future.

You can always visit your in-laws after your job interview or maybe visit them before and leave the Saturday of so you don't miss the interview.

Husband and wife matter, we no dey chook mouth🌝

Kobojunkie:
Forget everythinh else and focus on the fact that the need for a job is a must for you. Convince yourself that even as a married woman you need to have something doing and need to have your own income coming in regardless of everything else. There is a desperate reason why you need to do this for yourself and your future.

You can always visit your in-laws after your job interview or maybe visit them before and leave the Saturday of so you don't miss the interview.

Thanks for the reminder. in the meantime
I do sales of clothing as a side hustle.
I just needed to go back to my 9:5 routine