NewStats: 3,263,459 , 8,180,201 topics. Date: Friday, 06 June 2025 at 01:58 AM 333a2b

I don't know how i can help this situation gaskiya. My sis has been troubled ever since she went through her husband's WhatsApp chat with one particular woman. She told me she has been suspecting her husband who is always with his phone 247 for like 4 months now. She said he is always pressing his phone even till past 12am. When she noticed this she talked to him about it but he told her "it is his phone not hers, everyone should do whatever they like with their phone" she said she even denies him s3x sometimes because of this and also she's nonchalant about cooking and house chores all so that he can change and stop. But he doesn't seem bothered. And they have 2 kids.

So one particular night he slept off and the phone fell off his hand so she took it b4 it locks and went through his chats. She discovers he has been having emotional affairs with a divorced woman. It seems to her the woman was his ex. He is planning on marring her as his 2nd wife. And the woman also has two kids.

She said he hasn't defaulted in his responsibilities to the family. Me personally, i don't know what to do to console her to accept reality. Since our religion permits polygamy.

Nairalanders please what can you say about this situation now.

Your sister should go and seek for Allah forgiveness and allow the megida to have second wife in peace.

Your sister’s husband reserves the right to take more than one wife. After all your sister has not been performing her duties as a wife.

All I can say is that your sister should improve on her communication skills, discuss with her husband or better still consult a respected elder in the family to intervene

Otherwise her new ringing tone will be “ o ti lo...it’s gone!!!

She doesn't cook for him nor let him have access to his bed rights yet don't want him to have a second wife

Your sis needs her brain checked instead of trying to stop him from having a second wife and I'm pretty sure those were the bad attitudes in her the husband saw before seeking a second wife... She can't eat her cake and have it at the same time.

Tokskob2008:
She doesn't cook for him nor let him have access to his bed rights yet don't want him to have a second wife

Your sis needs her brain checked instead of trying to stop him from having a second wife and I'm pretty sure those were the bad attitudes in her the husband saw before seeking a second wife... She can't eat her cake and have it at the same time.

My thoughts exactly. The husband has justified the need for another woman why she was busy thinking he would yield to her blackmail. The truth is that our society favors men and a woman should try and be submissive so that no fault comes to her

Ok

madridguy:
Your sister should go and seek for Allah forgiveness and allow the megida to have second wife in peace.

Lol... i see you are the husband ally

gasparpisciotta:
Your sister’s husband reserves the right to take more than one wife. After all your sister has not been performing her duties as a wife.

All I can say is that your sister should improve on her communication skills, discuss with her husband or better still consult a respected elder in the family to intervene

Otherwise her new ringing tone will be “ o ti lo...it’s gone!!!

I have given same advice at some point but it seems all fell on deaf ears.

She doesn't know how to handle her man

She needs to learn that

Your sister denies him sex?
God punish your sister.

I wish I knew the man personally I will contribute to his second marriage.

Instead of you to caution your stupid, I'll-mannered sister, you're here asking foolish questions.

Worthless woman (your sister).

satandeterrible:
Your sister denies him sex?
God punish your sister.

I wish I knew the man personally I will contribute to his second marriage.

Instead of you to caution your stupid, I'll-mannered sister, you're here asking foolish questions.

Worthless woman (your sister).

Shooo why all this insults naa... it is just a harmless advice that is needed here.

fyzaila:


Shooo why all this insults naa... it is just a harmless advice that is needed here.

What kind of harmless advice do you need again?

The man provides for her jobless, wretched and broke self, the man sponsors her education, the man still participates in house chores yet she denies him sex and doesn't cook.

May God punish her again and again.
Useless and worthless woman.

satandeterrible:


What kind of harmless advice do you need again?

The man provides for her jobless, wretched and broke self, the man sponsors her education, the man still participates in house chores yet she denies him sex and doesn't cook.

May God punish her again and again.
Useless and worthless woman.

God will not answer your prayer... it is my sis issue i brought here. She isn't even aware. Please control your tongue and stay off.

I know there are some certain people who learn the hard way probably she's one of them.

Since your religion permits polygamy, then she should just stop being dramatic and deal with it.

I'll suggest that your sister looks inwards first of all and make amends from within.
If she's truly concerned about sharing her husband with another woman then she should go to him and apologize and do right by him first and then hopefully he sees the reason he made you his first choice.
Wish her the best of luck.

Samantha123:
Since your religion permits polygamy, then she should just stop being dramatic and deal with it.

Ok thanks

Day169:
I'll suggest that your sister looks inwards first of all and make amends from within.
If she's truly concerned about sharing her husband with another woman then she should go to him and apologize and do right by him first and then hopefully he sees the reason he made you his first choice.
Wish her the best of luck.

Thanks

fyzaila:


Shooo why all this insults naa... it is just a harmless advice that is needed here.

<<The religion that the husband practice, does it permit polygamy?
<<If yes, While your sister was courting the husband before marriage, was there any time the issue of getting another wife ever came up?
<< where they having misunderstanding in their marriage prior to her discovering the chat?...and she was denying him the conjugal right as some claimed?
Please make it more clear

She should allow him now

Your sister should also learn to mind her business once he takes the second wife, to prevent hypertension.

Serves her right




Take ya husband serious next time

Richy4:


<<The religion that the husband practice, does it permit polygamy?
<<If yes, While your sister was courting the husband before marriage, was there any time the issue of getting another wife ever came up?

Yes the religion permits polygamy but he never mentioned it when courting because my sis that i know won't accept marriage from such.

Richy4:

<< where they having misunderstanding in their marriage prior to her discovering the chat?...and she was denying him the conjugal right as some claimed?
Please make it more clear

She didn't mention any serious misunderstanding, he only became addicted to his phone few months back which i think that was when him and his ex divorcee reconnected. So the conjugal right denial started of since she made the discoveries. She did it thinking he will stop those chats and put his head back home.

ukaface:
She should allow him now

Your sister should also learn to mind her business once he takes the second wife, to prevent hypertension.

Like seriously Is it easy to be sharing one man

No 1, let her see herself as husbandless, take up her cross, find pleasure in making money and face her children squarely, making sure she has
d number of children she can handle alone.
Your sister should leave him to marry second wife and still encourage him to marry third and fourth sef, na him go get problem last last.

fyzaila:
she said she even denies him s3x sometimes because of this and also she's nonchalant about cooking and house chores all so that he can change and stop. But he doesn't seem bothered. And they have 2 kids.

Nairalanders please what can you say about this situation now.

This woman's brain is immature and entitled. Spoiled. Shouldn't be marrying...
She is lucky that the man is not divorcing her instead.
In my book, once a woman fails to do house chores, and even chase down her husband for sex (yes I believe that men get tired of their wives at some point and she should initiate or spice up sex more in the later years of marriage), she is sowing trouble. lol
Nearly every man wakes up everyday asking himself why he is marrying "this woman".
A good wife provides SOLID answers to that question effortlessly.
That is why one man marries only one wife and swears to die by her side. While another man divorces or marries a second wife.

It's obvious your sister is fighting a battle she isn't going to win. Once a man's mind is made up to take a second wife, nothing in this world would stop him. It's even more certain if the man is a Muslim that enjoys unquestionable religious privilige.

There's nothing she can do about it. She should start learning how to cope with the forthcoming reality... To even think she deprived her husband se.x and food to caution him. Orisirisi!

.

fyzaila:


God will not answer your prayer... it is my sis issue i brought here. She isn't even aware. Please control your tongue and stay off.

I know there are some certain people who learn the hard way probably she's one of them.

now you agree she needs to learn. If I were the man no need to hide my phone what nonsense. You want the man to die of high bp cause of your sisters wahala.

fyzaila:
I don't know how i can help this situation gaskiya. My sis has been troubled ever since she went through her husband's WhatsApp chat with one particular woman. She told me she has been suspecting her husband who is always with his phone 247 for like 4 months now. She said he is always pressing his phone even till past 12am. When she noticed this she talked to him about it but he told her "it is his phone not hers, everyone should do whatever they like with their phone" she said she even denies him s3x sometimes because of this and also she's nonchalant about cooking and house chores all so that he can change and stop. But he doesn't seem bothered. And they have 2 kids.

So one particular night he slept off and the phone fell off his hand so she took it b4 it locks and went through his chats. She discovers he has been having emotional affairs with a divorced woman. It seems to her the woman was his ex. He is planning on marring her as his 2nd wife. And the woman also has two kids.

She said he hasn't defaulted in his responsibilities to the family. Me personally, i don't know what to do to console her to accept reality. Since our religion permits polygamy.

Nairalanders please what can you say about this situation now.

Your religion permits polygamy. But, IBB, Emilokan Tinubu, Raji Babatunde Fashola, Rauf Aregbesola are all stinkingly Rich, yet they all have only one wife. I am very comfortable, I am also a Muslim, I have only one wife. So, give me another reason why your brother in-law should have another wife. Marrying many wives is not religious, but simply personal. Obasanjo is a Christian with many wives, likewise several Christians with one wife and several mistresses

The only reason I see is that your sister has used stubbornness to drive her husband to another woman. If she continues her stubborness, her husband will not just marry another wife, she will be kicked out totally and she will be free to practice her feminism.