NewStats: 3,260,962 , 8,172,917 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 03:07 AM 1u233k

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

you are 21 you are still small so stop blaming your parents I'm sure ur other siblings are not like that.its ur nature. look for one book and read it. The tittle of the book is learn how not to give a fork.

Instant cure is to take alcohol or hard drugs, the issue with it is that you will most likely get addicted. Trust me, addiction is worse than your present situation.

Make friends with happening guys in your area, go where they go, learn from them, let them ginger you.

Try to see a therapist, they are not that expensive. The results you will get will surprise you.

There is this #100daysOfRejection challenge on YouTube. Check it out and get inspired.

Also, listen to motivational videos on YouTube regularly and consistently. Motivation has expiry dates, you need them on a daily basis.

Trust me bro, one day the confidence will kick in. It must!

Lastly, if you are 21 it means your parents are still young. Let them hustle for their own money, stop sending them money. You need the money more.

Op you belong to these categories
- Shying away from rejection

- inferiority complex

- people pleaser

My advice to you is find books that can help you in that area.. if not people will keep preying on your deficiency...

You are not alone. Sucide is not an option trying doing things you can't do before don't do drugs and get a girl friend. Fvck your anxiety and shyness awayl

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

Do you struggle with any of the following symptoms?
■Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
■Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
■Irritability
■Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
■Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
■Decreased energy or fatigue
■Moving or talking more slowly
■Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still
■Difficulty concentrating, ing, or making decisions
■Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
■Appetite and/or weight changes
■Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
■Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

yeminero:
my try to make money. Your money will speak for you.

Doesn't work like that sha

Demigod22:
I have been there before, it's a terrible thing to experience. Depression is lack of expression. Just go out more and mingle with people. Build your self confidence by reading books, chatting with people and go out.

Self confidence comes from reading books, chatting with people and going out?

Brother if at 21 u have not learnt how to apply the word NO then b sure to leave this earth with plenty regrets.
Am sure u cant stand to express your feelings towards the opposite sex.
Thank God for the music ion He gave you, music is a way of expression; u can really pour out your self/inner content through music and relate this experience so others in your shoe could learn a thing. Gather yourself and trust God for help.
As per your parents, do the much u can to help them but u must realise that u need to carter for ur own needs too.
Read books, listen to music, tutorial videos on this kind of issues and u c that u did learn remarkable approach to handle this situation.
Good luck!!!

Lack of self-confidence is the major issue you have here.Don't look down on yourself and do proper intrapersonal communication before moving ahead to interpersonal communication wherever you engage in conversation,mistakes might come up but don't allow them to weigh you down.As you engage people in conversation from time to time you will gain more self-confidence and even do it on impulse.

siofra:


I'm saving some money to buy a violin by the end of this year.

YouTube tutorials will help, I've learned a lot of things through YouTube.

person need money and confident you dey talk about violin

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

I counsel you to come to Jesus. It is for you that His body was broken.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
You're an introvert.
Honestly, it's a hard life for people like us. But you go dey talk NO!
Cause this people can't sacrifice anything for your sake even when you go above and beyond for them. My first best friend in pry school was a bully but I no wise then. Still an introvert decades after but I've learnt to say no.

You're not alone is what I'm saying.

Being introverted does not imply one has low self esteem. Confidence levels or the sorts.

shegzhkn:
Read Books.
Watch documentaries
Watch interviews and news conferences.
Watch tonnes of those.

And this will what? Increase his self esteem and self confidence?

God is shielding you from negative influences that cosumes many youth your age, depriving them the God giving opportunity to actualize and fulfil their destiny. Many your age are already deep in fornication, abortion, drunkenness, masturbation, pornography and the like. What you need do primarily now is to get right with God, you need a strong and enduring relationship with God to buttress your life purpose, not R&B or any music that offers temporal remedy.
Do so quickly or else by the time the much awaited change hit you, it will either leave you permanently face down going negatively downdard or face up going positively upward. May you make the right decision to
choose Jesus today!

nosagold:
I counsel you to come to Jesus. It is for you that His body was broken.

Jesus Christ never said that at all. He came for those who are tired of the world not those who are simply sick.

simplesearch:
God is shielding you from negative influences that cosumes many youth your age, depriving them the God giving opportunity to actualize and fulfil their destiny. Many your age are already deep in fornication, abortion, drunkenness, masturbation, pornography and the like. What you need do primarily now is to get right with God, you need a strong and enduring relationship with God to buttress your life purpose, not R&B or any music that offers temporal remedy.
Do so quickly or else by the time the much awaited change hit you, it will either leave you permanently face down going negatively downdard or face up going positively upward. May you make the right decision to
choose Jesus today!

Stop lying thinking you do so on behalf of God. God never say he wants to shield people in any way from all you have listed.

Kobojunkie:
Being introverted does not imply one has low self esteem. Confidence levels or the sorts.

Yah.
But sometimes there's always a correlation. That's why I didn't say much about being an introvert as a bad thing but mainly about learning to say NO!

That's Good Advice.

Don't worry, you have been in an environment that discourages self-expression, but you can express yourself in other ways, and you need to focus on enhancing your strength, which is your music I believe.

To improve yourself, you need a richer source or rich environment in of ideas, you can find inspirations, from books, articles, from self-training in new skills, you can also use rich media sources, like Quora, LinkedIn, Twitter, or Reddit.

In essence, you have to identify richer sources of ideas and have developed a habit of immersing yourself in places of rich experiences.

It is also possible you have other innate talents, now is the time to discover all your strength and develop them.


Other places of richness are sports or nature, new places, new people. Good luck fellow.

shegzhkn:
Read Books.

Watch documentaries

Watch interviews and news conferences.

Watch tonnes of those.

Guy buy good motivational books it will give you the confidence you needed I was a shy guy until I read books I came out of them All I I get a lot of confidence talking to female older than me..
Good books change my life I always have my ways when.i was younger I go where ever I want and always return back home fine n no trouble.


All of you telling him to take weed and drink beer to gain his self confidence .so thts hw u gain yours no wonder you are on social media hiding in the back of keypad.

Key pad warriors .

Sipping my henesey

Just try annd adapt.
Me am shy o but not that much....i speak when i want to and most of my friends senior me for age even my 2 roommates......
In fact whenever i go to school to read i talk and make my other niggas laugh and in of social activities i dont participate but if them play better music ah go follow my friends dance too......
And again Relationship helps ....once you enter relationship and u start to dey knack woman ur shyness will reduced .......


And like this i dontdrink alcohol nor smoke and i always say no to what i cant afford to do if u are okay wit that fine if you are not u get out.......

Tadeknkeepcalm:

Yah.
But sometimes there's always a correlation. That's why I didn't say much about being an introvert as a bad thing but mainly about learning to say NO!

No there isn't a correlation. Introvertedness is not a symptom of mental illness but low self-esteem and low-confidence are both signs of possible mental illness.

You can also light a fire at night and sit near the fire with your bare skin bringing out all your fears. .and speaking to the fire as you will do to a real person face to face stay that way for 20minute you will have a heart beat and you will be getting your confidence back .


Sweat out all your fears.

Don't be shy guy .

Lattop:
Try dey smoke but no near Colorado

Is Colorado the oga patapata ?

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

Seek therapy or write a novel. The later isn’t me being facetious. Depending on where you live, therapy may either be prohibitive or professional therapists unavailable. The act of writing a novel is inexpensive and almost always cathartic.

Or a boxing club, thank me later.

confirmedniggae:



Is Colorado the oga patapata ?

No be am be oga Pata Pata but Colo no be hin mate

I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me.

Your parents raised you till you're an adult and Now you're complaining with the little that you're giving them, sounds like ungrateful child.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Typical of a pussy ass niggar....
This is what happened when father raised weak men and mother reinforced it

This is why I detest boarding school ....bros op story sounds just a like a kid who spent his entire gnnn life in boarding school

No exposure to the real society...no street ruggedity, no toughness....

Ogbeni start hanging around with friends..come out of your house....visit play house, bar, football viewing centres...get high with beer....play Saturday football with hood niggars ....involve yourself when niggarz are arguing...
I don't know if Ogbeni op is in Benin city...make I instil some street and self confidence into am...as I dey type so....I still dey outside with my niggarz...probably before we go enter house today he go be around 1am

Shut up if u have nothing to say to help the dude. U talk too much.

Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad
I lack self confidence too
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world!

The longer you stay in your cocoon, the more hermitic you will become. Go out there and out yourself in difficult situations. As you engage in it more frequently, you'll begin to find some release and gain back your voice.

Kobojunkie:
No there isn't a correlation. Introvertedness is not a symptom of mental illness but low self-esteem and low-confidence are both signs of possible mental illness.

Introversion as a sign of mental illness?
Never heard that before


And yes, introversion and low self esteem are very much linked.
https://www.pickthebrain.com/is-being-introverted-affecting-your-confidence/#:~:text=What's%20more%E2%80%94because%20lack%20of,worth%20leads%20to%20higher%20introversion.

Who says you don't have confidence?? Your confidence brought you out here to express your self on this platform. Your parent tried their best to keep you out of danger, hence, the reason you weren't allowed to go out. But now you re matured and your maturity started growing when you were in school. I was and I am still one like you. I really helped myself by making the best out of myself. Best way you can do that is when you're alone and think about yourself. Goodluck brother!!!!

sirp9898:
Guy start to dey high u get your confident

op. Always get tipsy whenever u need to face people but do not get drunk.

Yes.... too many over protective parents do not look down the road .... if they did they will see they are doing their children more harm than good. Later in life they cannot face the outside world on their own ... never exposed. You're now 21... an adult worldwide ... your parents made a mistake and guide you to this valley ... are you going to continue looking back and be bitter blaming them?... or are you going to focus on getting out of the valley?... moving ahead? I would suggest you start being social here online. Take part in discussions here on NL .... you are faceless here .... nobody knows you ... some of your comments will be ed .... some will be condemned .... you will learn to be mentally tough here ... preparation for when you go out on the streets ... go to football games etc.... you will have the confidence to free your mind. Even if someone disagrees with you ... they will never tell you something worse than you were told here on NL. If you can hold conversations here with people home and abroad ... why can't you then have the confidence to hold conversations with locals? I said my own.... what do you think?... what do you agree with?... what you disagree with?