NewStats: 3,263,946 , 8,182,004 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 10:13 PM 6j3s31

I’m really sorry if I had to bore you with my love life, my last relationship ended in disaster, we had it going for 4yrs, trusted her with my life but suddenly became insecure due to some red flags, I was really broke then(as in I always have to put up with her in her room whenever I want to see her, because I was managing with my uncle in his two room apartment with his wife and two kids) but she managed with me till she started acting funny, going on date with an Ex, accepting gifts from guys, visiting guys in their houses and eventually laying her bestie even though she told she didn’t have a feeling for her and she did it because we were not dating as at then(she requested for space)…….Fast forward to some years now cos all happened in my last year at the Uni, I’m now a bit comfortable atlease I can be proud of myself(cash and I become more charming) I’m gradually becoming the man I always aspire to be and I’m now in love with this new girl of mine, she’s been all I want in a woman, submissive and loyal to a fault but I still don’t trust her and I always ruin our good time with insecurities. Sometimes I think I’m now suffering from Narcissism because I could see traits of it. I’m not happy with myself and I really want to make this lady happy because she deserves some happiness, she’s been nothing but kind and ive to me………………Lemme add this, I developed a smoking addiction (weed) while I was trying to get over my Ex.
Please help me with how I can heal up, sometimes I try to caution myself and make her happy but after a day or two or max a week I still go back to making her sad and cry. It’s breaking me.

The choice you make will only improve the situation or make it worse. How did you meet her. Did you entice her with cash and gifts like the way your ex was enticed?

My advice: Take some time off and deal with whatever is bothering you first. Before having a relationship. Don't let an innocent girl suffer from whatever baggage you carried from a previous relationship.

Relationship matter

Did you put up this write-up under the influence of the weed? Irresponsibility starts with weed smoking. Your step to peace of mind is to quit weed, the weed has replaced your natural peace of mind to artificial one. Once you don't take it, you will be sad and insecure in your relationship.

Mehn this is beyond local man logistics

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed why

You don't deserve a woman, marry your w33d

She actually caused it sha
Why she Go go lash another man?
Let the good girl go abeg
You don Dey turn damage goods

Obakashdee:
She actually caused it sha
Why she Go go lash another man?
Let the good girl go abeg
You don Dey turn damage goods

Lol its obvious you didn't assimilate what you read.

InfernoNig:
The choice you make will only improve the situation or make it worse. How did you meet her. Did you entice her with cash and gifts like the way your ex was enticed?

My advice: Take some time off and deal with whatever is bothering you first. Before having a relationship. Don't let an innocent girl suffer from whatever baggage you carried from a previous relationship.

nope in fact she’s hasn’t been demanding despite that now I can comfortably provide, always okay with whatever I give…..I just feel broken.

Isokoson1:
Mehn this is beyond local man logistics

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed why

I was really broken, I gave this girl the best of me….I did manual works to give her little I could and I even had to donate my blood at a lab when I don’t have the cash just to make sure I help out. I was down asf when she called to break up

You need to see a psychologist.

The bottom line in Nigeria, don't even think of dating if u don't have money.....

U must have sad takes to tell..all ladies are the same thing

How una dey do this love thing abeg

Beautifulearth:
nope in fact she’s hasn’t been demanding despite that now I can comfortably provide, always okay with whatever I give…..I just feel broken.

Unbreak yourself so you don't hurt her.

Oyiboman69:
Relationship matter

Beautifulearth:
I was really broken, I gave this girl the best of me….I did manual works to give her little I could and I even had to donate my blood at a lab when I don’t have the cash just to make sure I help out. I was down asf when she called to break up

Do you still love your ex? Probably why you're finding it difficult to move on properly with this new girl.

Hy I am new here

Beautifulearth:
I was really broken, I gave this girl the best of me….I did manual works to give her little I could and I even had to donate my blood at a lab when I don’t have the cash just to make sure I help out. I was down asf when she called to break up

Do you know the kind of person you are? You are the unforgiving type. You find it hard to forgive and people like you are vengeful. If you don't revenge what was done to you, you will not have peace.

You are taking your revenge out on an innocent woman. I will close my comment with this advice I gave someone earlier today, if you close your eyes just because you don't want to see an evil person, when a good person comes, you will also get to miss it.

Find your old flame and trash whatsoever you had with her out in the open.

luvmijeje:


Do you know the kind of person you are? You are the unforgiving type. You find it hard to forgive and people like you are vengeful. If you don't revenge what was done to you, you will not have peace.

You are taking your revenge out on an innocent woman. I will close my comment with this advice I gave someone earlier today, if you close your eyes just because you don't want to see an evil person, when a good person comes, you will also get to miss it.

Find your old flame and trash whatsoever you had with her out in the open.

this hits deep…..I really don’t have peace unless I avenge myself of anything even the little stuffs, just felt it’s some bad aura cos I’m sometimes not happy with myself……I don’t think I can stand her again unless I want to ignite an old flame. Let me chip this in, there is this part of me now that get irritated easy, I flare up at the slightest of things even with outsiders. I think I have really messed myself up, as in even things that doesn’t makes sense get me angry easily

luvmijeje:


Do you know the kind of person you are? You are the unforgiving type. You find it hard to forgive and people like you are vengeful. If you don't revenge what was done to you, you will not have peace.

You are taking your revenge out on an innocent woman. I will close my comment with this advice I gave someone earlier today, if you close your eyes just because you don't want to see an evil person, when a good person comes, you will also get to miss it.

Find your old flame and trash whatsoever you had with her out in the open.

How can you draw up with the conclusion that OP is revengeful..
Men are more affected emotionally when in love in case of a breakup..
Woman heal easier than guys and that's because a lady even during her breakup phase has one or two guys trying to remind her they want her and appreciate her..
A guy is different especially when broke, if at all the guy will have a lady to communicate with, its mostly the ones with who he made moves on but if broke nothing for him..
Those days of desperation with no one to remind him he is wanted is depressing..
His fellow guys go follow yab am self...
Don't draw such conclusions because women care to early and men care too late..

Beautifulearth:
this hits deep…..I really don’t have peace unless I avenge myself of anything even the little stuffs, just felt it’s some bad aura cos I’m sometimes not happy with myself……I don’t think I can stand her again unless I want to ignite an old flame. Let me chip this in, there is this part of me now that get irritated easy, I flare up at the slightest of things even with outsiders. I think I have really messed myself up, as in even things that doesn’t makes sense get me angry easily

you still haven't gotten over your ex deal with it..
Your emotions are still tied with her, it not about revenge its about what you still feel for her..

W

toren:


Do you still love your ex? Probably why you're finding it difficult to move on properly with this new girl.

my new girl is everything I want in a woman both in looks, shape and character. Just don’t know why I’m misbehaving

Tobichuks08:

How can you draw up with the conclusion that OP is revengeful..
Men are more affected emotionally when in love in case of a breakup..
Woman heal easier than guys and that's because a lady even during her breakup phase has one or two guys trying to remind her they want her and appreciate her..
A guy is different especially when broke, if at all the guy will have a lady to communicate with, its mostly the ones with who he made moves on but if broke nothing for him..
Those days of desperation with no one to remind him he is wanted is depressing..
His fellow guys go follow yab am self...
Don't draw such conclusions because women care to early and men care too late..

No matter how many men surrounds a woman, when a man she love breaks her heart, she also get shattered. A shattered hearts mends with time.

But a heart that is vengeful never mends until an atonement is carried out.

Beautifulearth:
this hits deep…..I really don’t have peace unless I avenge myself of anything even the little stuffs, just felt it’s some bad aura cos I’m sometimes not happy with myself……I don’t think I can stand her again unless I want to ignite an old flame. Let me chip this in, there is this part of me now that get irritated easy, I flare up at the slightest of things even with outsiders. I think I have really messed myself up, as in even things that doesn’t makes sense get me angry easily

That's your nature. You are vengeful by nature. You must first of all recognise it as a flaw. It's when we recognise our flaw it becomes a strength.

You can't avenge what you don't see. Chat your ex up. Let her know how deep she hurts you. Express your hurts feelings to her. The only way that you can control your vengeful nature is to be open about your pain. The more you bottled up an issue, the more power it has over you.