NewStats: 3,263,663 , 8,180,930 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 07:11 AM 2s3p5e

So I stumbled upon this NairaLand post about nicknames and all and I got inspired to pen this



MY NICKNAMES FROM BACK IN THE DAYS TILL THE PRESENT MOMENT


So, I kinda decide(d) I'll compile all the nicknames and "pseudonyms" that I've ever been called since I can ! It is just a form of cherished history I wanna preserve. Chances are that I update this regularly as I some or get nicknamed... Brace yourself, this list consists of the good, bad and ugly. I'll try to include the origin and the one(s) that "christened" me as much as I . E MA BA WA KALO!!!

ACTION!!!!


1 OLOYE NI SOKOTO
This means "a chief at Nickers/shorts". I really don't know How that sokoto comes in, but at least oloye is from my name. People have found it mouthful from back in the days. It's in that vein I constantly forgive those that call me "funmi",in as much as I don't really fancy it.
Only two people called/call me this,my big aunt and my own 11-years-older-than-me sister.

2 BOBO
Almost all male kids get to be called this, but if at 10years of age, you are still being called bobo,then check your birth certificate if it's not actually included
My eldest brother was the only that callED me this, and I called him bobo back too(tautology intended).I probably stopped when he was about to serve, he stopped too. I guess I became too big to be addressed as that.
(P.S) my future wife should take note, this might be a pet name I could cherish, not dear,honey,milk,chocolate,saltie,Maggi,or even sweetheart

3 AKARIGBO
This is the title of the monarch of Remo village! Whatever made people thought it's synonymous with "big head" still baffles me.
A couple of people called me this, probably to poke fun at me for being endowed at the most uppermost region of the body, but I saw it as fun, insults never got to me as a kid, just like they don't do now. Iya Ajomale is the only woman I can vividly to have called me this, and maybe occupants of the old No. 102, Ondo Road, Ijebu-Ode.

4 HEASTER
This name was euphemistically crafted o! But rather to taunt me, it was to make me feel like the head(literally and otherwiselly).
My (or let me say "our" godmother at my homechurch called me this. She still does seldomly. She was the iya-ewe then

5 OSAMA
Maybe my peers saw me as stubborn in Jss3,but the name didn't just go with the occasion of the yoruba meaning then. Back then,(03), it meant someone who loves to skip class, and that was never me. 3 years later, I was to be called the name again, at a different setting;my home church, after having "skipped" home for 3 months. Was "chilling" in Cotonou(and the name had siblings, like osanle,enilolobo,cotonou,benin,cotonou boy... I still get to be addressed by that name by these people, so unforgiving of them, it's a decade already, let it go o )
Sola Odulaja nicknamed me this in school, ironically this dude sured me in stubborness and noisemaking. He even gave me a black eye at a time, an incident that cut our friendship short back then(kids will be kids! Won't they?). Iya Olorunju gave me the name again in 06, well she's a prophet, she obviously saw the past!

6 LAROYE
This name didn't stick for long, I'm glad it didn't.I put a stop to it after 3 fights, won 2, lost 1 (it's debatable though, but I won't seek a rematch). This was in ss1, the osama name had faded because I had new classmates by "now"(and I was getting glad because I didn't like the name! I MEAN! I'M NOT A TERRORIST NITORI OLORUN). My opponents in those bouts were, Gboyega, Seni and Wale. Seni went on to become my best friend the following year.
The "useless" boys (Seni,Wale,Reuben,Kenny et al....u guys were useless back in the days for having guts to call me Satan sha) from jss maroon felt they haven't seen my type of head before, hence the name. Back in jss class, their class arm was useless, that was why they were classless in jss3.

7 funmo
This one was self-given. In ss2, we had a fake karate/Kung Fu club in class. ss2 blue. Funmo sounded Chinese, hence the name. It used to be master funmo , since Kung Fu people call Kung Fu experts master. I named my "accomplices" too, but It didn't stick. They were: funma(funmilade), dammo(damilola), muso (musa) , ezo(Ezekiel), dejo(deji), and kayo(kayode)....jado(jide) doesn't count, he was too gentle.
Sammo Hung went my the name Samuel in one of his movies, ( a childhood friend, mc summary the comedian told me this, IF NA TRUE OR SOBO, I no know o )I thought they called him sammo because his real name was Samuel. So I thought Funmiloye can bear funmo. Abi?

8 FUNMILAYO
So, in Jonquet Cotonou , back in September - December deux milli dix (05), nobody knew funmo or funmiloye. My nuclear family (I got adopted...don't worry, diaries of a runaway kid will soon be completed) called me this, I gave up trying to tell them I'm funmiloye
Felix (my Cotonou Frere) gave me this. My ten years anniversary of being away from my 2nd motherland is next year anyways,can't wait to go back home and bear that name again.

9 FUNMO DU BENIN (DU BENIN)/ FUNMI / MC FUNMO / EMCEE FUNMO / FUNMO BABY
These ones just became nicknames by default, the first means funmo of benin, I gave myself. My roomie of 3 years gave me the second, and Zion hostel people and CSU,...these "lazy" folks say my full name is mouthful. Mc funmo was given to me by one of my ogas in publicity unit of my fellowship(CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM UNIFICATION, LAUTECH CHAPTER ),(Bro) Taiwo Oladimeji ,I was the compere at the singles' summit for that year(010),and I kinda did well comically, I even dropped two original jokes that got laughs... come two Sundays later, I see my name on the publicity board with the tag "mc funmo doing his thing at the singles' summit"...so I had to become the official mc of the great fellowship all through school.(so, the whole comedy thing started from there, and p s ,the p s won't be even aware he gave me the name). Emcee funmo was self given, it's pronounced mc too, but it's a lyrical title for rappers (A HOST OF PEOPLE ON MY FACEBOOK LIST DON'T KNOW I RAP, I go shock una soon)....and that happened to be my 2go name... funmo baby too is just a rap stuff, you add baby to your name when you are "feeling" yourself lyrically..

THE NICKNAME BODA ELEHA DOESN'T COUNT!!!


if I ever get any more nicks or any old faded ones, I'll be back to edit!

no new adventures yet na bros......

DIARIES OF A FRESH GRADUATE

epilogue
Back in 2010,I started my diary series. Diaries of a runaway kid, diaries of an i.t kid, diary of a good Samaritan, and then this "episode",diaries of a fresh graduate. Like all others, this too is 100% non-fiction(al)...

Story story! Story! Once upon a time! Time time!



So, it was a cool Sunday morning, 21st September, this year. Was my way to the atm, and church, but the result at the atm was going to determine which church I was to go, my fellowship or another "branch" .(Cherubim and Seraphim churches are rife in Ogbomoso). No withdrawal-able cash was in my , So I chose to attend a church I had wanted to visit anyways... On my way, I was handed this flyer. Here is the content


Employment opportunity
Weekly
Part time #7000
Full-time #10,000

Monthly
Part time #30,000
Full-time #50,000
Call for interview and come with this flyer

I was kinda awed,I mean this is Ogbomoso village!!! You don't see such opportunities like that!!! I wanted to beckon to the bros that handed the "WONDERFUL" flyer to me, but I was running late for service. As you can imagine, I couldn't concentrate all through service, a 50k payment at the end of October kept flashing through my mind. I mean,such Buck made in few months before the national youth service corps (aka NOW YOUR SUCCESS CONTINUES) where a measly 18k awaits, isn't bad. It will come handy till then, I've a mind that multitasks, so I drew up list of what to get that first month! I've ph.d in daydreaming.

The service took longer than I was used to, but I looked forward to it ending! My joy knew no bounds when I left the church, I picked my phone, made a call to the only number attached to this flyer, and started my polished Ijebu-English. "Hello,I'm Benjamin from lautech,I am calling to make enquiries as per a flyer I got from your company ma'am.... bla bla bla". The voice at the other end didn't sound as Behind as mine, but I mean, this is Ogbomoso!!!!! I asked what type of job we were talking about, she told me I would find out at the interview. As she was about to give me the address, my credit burnt patapata! I let out a silent scream, "BOLU!!!" ,that was a sister from church I called on Saturday night after she flashed me. I put the low airtime palava blame on her. You know, when opportunities as such present themselves as seldom as this, many barriers arise. I asked MTN to lend me airtime for the time being, and all "they" felt I deserved was #50! Ehen that lady did tell me to send my details to her, and she would forward necessary details. I did that pronto, and some few hours later, a call from another man came in. I felt the lady was the junior PR and this was the senior PR calling. He gave me the address for the interview slated for 8am the next morning. (Una say I been tell u say money been no dey my hand) The venue is like 1km from my base, I knew I had to trek,I mean, who won't sacrifice a 1hr leg-ride for 50gees,I mean!!! I planned to leave home 7am, I'm such a slow walker, but a steady one, only people like us win the race they say.
I couldn't sleep all through the night, woke up like four times .I didn't want to get late for the interview, I even had to consciously reserve my cell phone's battery so as to place a call through to these PRs. 7am, Monday, I was good to go, good to go, good to go. NA HIM RAIN START. Like seriously!!! Like seriously I couldn't get mad at the rain.7:25am, this rain kept displaying it's skills. But it was a mild rain, and even the heaviest torrent won't make me miss that 50k walahi. I added a hoodie (that cardigan with attached cap)and a bag underneath. The hoodie to protect my tshirt and head from getting bathed, and the bag to dump my wet hoodie pre-interview. I never knew my secondary school days trekking-fast talents were still in me. O boy, come see trek.I got to the address 8am dot.I mean,who gets to an interview late,this is business and my soul's nickname is punctuality. I called the male PR, feeling proud of myself to have made it on time. The rain hadn't stop! ! He told me to wait 30/40 minutes since the rain was still drizzling. Big deal? I can even wait till 5pm.
He called 20 minutes later to tell me someone was coming to pick me up. She came, and we headed for this primary school like that, like 2 minutes away from where I waited. I felt I shouldn't ask the lady what sort of job it was, but I hesitated, I mean, why disturb people that want to employ you.I mean!!! From my incomplete diaries of a runaway kid, I did mention how I absconded home for 3months, and was "chilling" in the streets of Cotonou(I was just one stupid rebellious 14years old kid at the time, forgive me!!!),I survived, so any type of legal job for 50k pending the time I turn full-time superstar/celebrity won't move me. I have all it takes. So we got to this school jare, I was the first to turn up, u no say I serious. So a desk was given to me, and another placed in front of me. Met like 6 or 7 young people I assumed to be "prospective coworker". One even happened to be on hijab, I quickly "salam alekumed" her,I mean! Who wouldn't employ someone who even greets someone of another religion in the "proper" manner.(p s salam alekum is Arabic greeting for "peace be unto you". So, the "interview" kicked start, introduction et al, she asked if I understand the mother tongue, because I had been phoneticalizing all the while, I quickly went to the speech setting of my mouth, changed it to yoruba,and clicked on the ogbomoso-type option.emi ke. So she started what I thought was a preamble and literature review of "our" company. Robert Kiyosaki will be proud of this lady, she reeled off the yoruba version of his financial books. I was listening with rapt attention, the raptest actually. 40minutes into her speech or so, we were ed by two other guys, seemingly in their mid or early-late twenties. It was still raining, but very slightly. I said to myself, "I first una come,na me them go first give 50k October 31st"...

Two hours later, madam was still lecturing us on financial dependence and efficiency 101. First off, if any course I should be receiving lectures for should have a code, it will start with 6, the ones starting with a 1 were done in 2009. At this point, I knew the job was a scheme I couldn't the name. But I mean! Why not wait till the end of the class, who knows if they wanted to test us on endurance and patience. 30minutes later, she stopped beating around the bush, bush wey we suppose Don use mower cut since 2:30mins ago. SMH. GNLD!!! I knew it! [That moment , a dude we attended secondary together came to my mind, a namesake sort of, I call him funma,he did tell me about it in 2009,during the 3-month ASUU strike] Nice one. She finished, asked us if we had questions, to which we chorused no!!!.. she forced us to ask question by force o o! We did sha!she told us of one 11k starter pack/kit like that. (I mean, back in 09, it was 5k, but thanks to the Naira)We thought we were free to go, until a senior spokesperson came to "summarize" the lecture. The guy too try sha.he spent like an hour and few minutes. They portrayed a good image of the brand, showed us pictorial evidences, he even showed us his own 50k cheque for August. But I was hungry, and I couldn't stomach any more words. They now released us sha, and I promised to get back at them ... I switched on my phone (did I tell you that we were instructed to switch it off to prevent distractions, I mean,who puts his phone on in an interview),expecting a bank alert by miracle. Sms no gree enter. Checked at a nearby atm and it was still the same story of Sunday, I trekked back home with the image of 50k ripped off my mind. I had to alt+del all those plans I had for October's 50k and other months' 50ks.

But the experience was fun, the ment stunt they pulled was classical. At least, they didn't lie, they just didn't mention that 11k work-permit and the process of convincing people to buy health products and 11k starter packs. AND I HAVE PUT THE NUMBERS I CALLED ON AUTO-REJECT ON MY PHONE. But it's a nice scheme sha, if you can sacrifice 11k,time and a willing never-give-up attitude, you will get your first 50k cheque in less than 2 years.( the cheque grows from 12k or so sha). And if you get sweet mouth and a long patience too, I urge you to me


PROLOGUE
o boy!! U read am finish?? U get work sha!!
Well, life remains beautiful, I will keep brainstorming my head for inspiration till I hammer comically,lyrically and otherwisecally