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Ethannathan's Posts

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Ethannathan(m): 9:15am On Aug 25, 2021
O
Ethannathan(m): 9:08am On Aug 25, 2021
O

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Ethannathan(m): 7:35pm On Aug 18, 2021
Ok
Ethannathan(m): 5:40pm On Aug 18, 2021
Ok

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Ethannathan(m): 5:53pm On Aug 17, 2021
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Ethannathan(m): 9:35pm On Aug 16, 2021
Ok
Ethannathan(m): 7:02pm On Aug 14, 2021
Goaaaaaal 3 - 0

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Ethannathan(m): 10:12pm On Aug 09, 2021
O

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Ethannathan(m): 11:21pm On Aug 04, 2021
Ok
Ethannathan(m): 8:02am On Jul 16, 2021
As parents, we want our kids to feel good about themselves, so we try to praise them as much as possible.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Research shows that there are benefits to praising kids. A simple compliment can generate self-worth and pride. However, it depends on what kind of praise we give, as well as when and how frequently.
As a psychotherapist who works with parents and children, I’ve seen over and over again the negative effects of overpraising a child’s talent or outcome (“This looks amazing!” “You’re so handsome!” “Good job!”).
But these short, exaggerated reactions can cause kids to only focus on things that may harm their self-esteem. They might feel performance anxiety (“If I get this answer wrong, I am dumb”), for example, or believe that they are only appreciated for their appearance (“What if people think I look weird in this shirt? Then they won’t love me”).
So should you praise your kids at all? Of course. But there are right and wrong ways to give praise. Here’s what parents of confident, self-motivated and mentally strong kids always do:
1. They praise the process
When you praise the process (e.g., the kid putting effort into a math assignment), instead of the talent or outcome (e.g., the kid’s natural ability to solve math problems quickly), kids are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward future challenges.
In the 1990s, Carol S. Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford’s Graduate School of Education, studied the effects of these types of praises. In one experiment, a group of children was told they were successful because they were smart, while the second group was told they were successful because they worked hard.
When the two groups were given a variety of puzzles, children in the second group were more likely to choose a harder puzzle. Dweck also found that praising the process made them more likely to feel confident in a task even if they made a mistake.
2. They never make it a competition
Parents love to compare — we can’t help it! And sometimes, we’ll even tell our kids that they’re better than others (“You scored more goals than all your teammates combined!”).
Often, it’s done with good intentions. We want them to feel as proud as we do, and to be motivated to do even better the next time ... but for all the wrong reasons.
It’s not healthy to be trapped in a vicious cycle of competition. Social comparisons can teach kids to always measure success based on the outcomes of other people.
Even worse, according to research, giving kids praise in of comparison, in some cases, can cultivate narcissism, attention-seeking behavior and a lack of teamwork values.
The better approach? Encourage them to compare their past efforts with their present efforts, rather than with other people. This gets them into the habit of shifting their goals away from being better than everyone else and toward self-improvement.
3. They use observational language
Instead of saying, “That’s so good!”, you may want to say, “I love the colors in your painting. Tell me more about why you chose them.” (This is what it means to praise the process.)
Another example: Instead of saying, “You looked like a pro riding that bike!,” parents of motivated kids might say something like, “You were so careful and focused while riding your bike. Even when you wobbled a bit and almost fell off, you kept going! That was cool to watch.”
These simple language tweaks can help your kids feel proud of themselves for putting effort into something. It can also make them more excited to take on more challenging things in the future.
Lastly, it’s important to create an environment of emotional safety. If your child failed a spelling test, refrain from telling them they should have studied harder. Instead, ask them what they think they can do to improve next time.
Kids need to know that they can come to their parents not just when they’ve done something well, but also when they are struggling with a specific task or challenge.

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Ethannathan(m): 4:32pm On Jul 13, 2021
smiley
Ethannathan(m): 6:00pm On Jul 09, 2021
Ok
Ethannathan(m): 9:23am On Jul 08, 2021
cheesy
Ethannathan(m): 9:17am On Jul 08, 2021
Web design

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Ethannathan(m): 11:56am On Jun 29, 2021
smiley

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Ethannathan(m): 7:54am On Jun 29, 2021
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Ethannathan(m): 7:50am On Jun 29, 2021
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Ethannathan(m): 7:47am On Jun 29, 2021
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Ethannathan(m): 6:32am On Jun 25, 2021
O
Ethannathan(m): 6:31am On Jun 25, 2021
Cool
Ethannathan(m): 9:17pm On Jun 23, 2021
smiley
Ethannathan(m): 12:22pm On Jun 22, 2021
eTen94:
who love what? Nobody loves anybody, na when u get money u go get love but when money no dey u are on ur own, 5years now I left my family cos no money yet nobody brother, sisters know where I live and all of us na d same Lagos we dey, apapa to ikorodu nobody show to even say how far or even call, abeg forget matter
true talk,no money no love
Ethannathan(m): 5:10pm On Jun 20, 2021
If you brother cannot pay his bride price with his hustle, he is not ready for marriage

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Ethannathan(m): 11:37pm On Jun 01, 2021
Toni braxton - Unbreak my heart. Heartbreak Anniversary - Giveon
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

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Ethannathan(m): 6:28pm On May 25, 2021
Ok
Ethannathan(m): 3:12pm On May 25, 2021
Say what?
Ethannathan(m): 5:50am On May 25, 2021
Ok
Ethannathan(m): 8:53pm On May 17, 2021
My neighbor na CNN and home wrecker. She fit use 2hrs walk 5 poles spreading both fake and real news, infact her nickname plenty e.g Glo,CNN,NTA etc. Just come a mile close to our Avenue ask of Any of the above names, them go take u come her house.

6 Likes 1 Share

Ethannathan(m): 6:51am On May 05, 2021
Great

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