NewStats: 3,263,959 , 8,182,088 topics. Date: Monday, 09 June 2025 at 04:07 AM 624dt

Please what year is your gulf 3?

vinmol:
advice bro!
save a litte more add 250k to the 400 buy
a neat tokuboh golf3, na wetin i do be dat
and no regrets...am telling u

wen my fuel is half tank i fill up with 3k
full tank in my golf with chilling A/c takes me to and from office for one week
i leave in Ogba and work in Ijora even with the traffic on Ikorodu road
monday to friday and i will left with a little below half tank. (one advantage)

i had hub problem bought back hub N1600 front hub N1500
later i had shock absorber issue, got back shocks brand new 1500 back brand new 1600

this is no hear say..life and direct CHEAP TO MAINTAIN! A GET UP AND GO CAR! DAT IS WHY IT IS CALLED A TAXI TRY IT NO REGRETS

Thanks everyone for your advice.. I have swung into action.

chucks231:
Clearly every one will say the man is a beast, from her points....as a counsellor I never conclude on a single point of reference, she said her piece....what has the man to say for the allegations? Then we judge...domestic violence has been on play in African marriages, but it's been aired these days cos of media which is good...we cannot advise her here to make a choice....go back to your marriage sponsors, pastor or parents....dig deep and find the answers u seek....we will confuse you more here

You mean they are allegations
What will I gain by false allegations?
That he forces himself on me sexually is allegation?
That he is violent and beats me at any given opportunity is allegation?
That I pay my bills and my kids bills is allegation?
That he won't hear that am pregnant but jumps on me for sex like a hungry lion that have seen a goat to devour is allegation?
Please oga park well

extremelygolden:
Is this marriage for real? And he feels so comfortable watching you take over the responsibilities of catering for his children even when he has the wherewithal to do so? He assaults and molest you? And this is a man who prior to this time might have promised to love you forever? Gosh!

I don't know why friends fail to understand when I say I am afraid of getting married. The news, the experiences of people around, just about everything concerning marriage these days are so discouraging.

My sister, honestly I don't know the best advise to give to you. If I say divorce him, The Scripture will say NO. If I say stay, the man might kill you. And if I tell you to go see a Counselor, of what benefit will that be since your husband might not even go with you.

Now a thought just dropped into my heart as I type, why not keep on praying for God's divine intervention? I pray also that God will make you smile again, touch your husband's heart and bring back the lost love.

It shall be well again with you, Sis.

I don't know why friends fail to understand when I say I am afraid of getting married. The news, the experiences of people around, just about everything concerning marriage these days are so discouraging. Sorry I made you feel this way.....


Now a thought just dropped into my heart as I type, why not keep on praying for God's divine intervention? I pray also that God will make you smile again, touch your husband's heart and bring back the lost love.

It shall be well again with you, Sis
Amen

dangotesmummy:
are you looking for solution or pity party?

SOLUTION please.

I888:
madam, I speak from experience. It's a fact! Every girl I showed too much affection messed it up NONE, absolutely NONE could appreciate it.

It's gotten so bad that I now have a phobia and often fight between hiding my real self or revealing it. It sucks!

Oh sorry.....
Bad experience.

Dygeasy:
There's No Argument Here. As Long As I, as a man, Can Cater For My Family's Needs, My Wife Should Hold Her Money And Use It For Whatever She Likes.


What I Will Find Highly Infuriating And Annoying Is If I'm Not Around And My Kids Need Anything Or If There's Something Urgent Is To Be Done And My Wife Delays Cos I'm Not Around. Damn! That's Uselessness At Its Peak.

Define what you mean by when you are not around... I mean you could be away for months, years and so on... So you mean you should cater for your family only when you are around? It means that a man can stay away from the home in the name of "am not around" and so run away from responsibility

I888:
they always like "bad boys" na... I rarely feel sorry for women in a situation like this? You know why? An average Nigerian woman do not like a guy who over pamper them, they see you as weakling, immature, kid, pest and just name it. They always prefer the opposite even though they announce that they want attention and love. Bros, Na big lie!!!

That's not true and you know it.

Prettiepearlz:

Madam are you a Catholic?
What help do you really need? You don't want to do family planning, you don't your abusive and rapist husband and at the same time you don't want a mistress. What exactly do you want to hear?

I can leave him, i never said i cant leave him,he can go ahead and have fun with his mistress

[quote author=laka2016 post=56769626]madame,as it stands I want to say you married a brute of a man.And you're been adviced to run you say your marriage is only 3yeard,run to where.Would you rather he killed you before you run? Or has he not proved he could kill you?How long did you date yourselves before marriage? it appears you don't know the person you married.Or did you force yoursefe on him? I mean if you could answer these questions it would be possible to know how and why he turned this way.What of his family,father,moth er,brothers, as in you could report your experience with their son to them.What of the church,you could report him to your pastor if you people are Christians.
But I beg you don't say some options are no go areas if you want to be alive to train your children.[/

His mum, brothers and sisters are on his side. He gives them one thousand and one ingenuine reasons why he does his evil deeds.

OCTAVO:

You asked the questions that came to my mind. How some people end up in abusive marriage is unthinkable. Were the signs not there Or you chose to ignore them @OP?

The signs weren't there at all.... We had a distant relationship, throughout courtship I visited him like 3 times and they were short visit... So I just couldn't see all this bad side of him

layzie:
@ emerald557,
From all that you have written about your husband, why do u still want to stay with him? I leave u with the question to answer for yourself.

You live and work in Lagos, that's a good start. You have a job.
The man does not give u money, u don't like the way he rapes u, beats u, hits u with the car u contributed in buying and u are still there? Do u want to die?

Please quietly rent a mini flat and move out with your kids. Your life will transform remarkably for the better without that man in it. All the negative energy from that relationship is killing u slowly both psychologically and physically. Leave and keep ur address a secret from him and his family. If u don't have money for rent, save some..That's y u have job. Give urself few months to save up and leave.

Thanks... It's almost impossible to save because of the expenses am running

doyinbaby:
my sister you have to prayerfully seek direction from God...God will strengthen you

Amen

Zuriela:

I want to hear cos I don't get this whole thing at all. Did the beating start when you were pregnant or its been there? Don't you have where to go for a while to see if he'll come back to his senses or talk to someone he respect.
This type of men rarely change oh. Laying hands on a pregnant woman is a big big no no.

The started when we were 3months into the marriage... Throughout marriage, if he has not beaten me, he has beaten me 10 times. He is a woman beater. He is a woman beater because just very recently, he beat up his sales girl's girlfriend in the name of disrespect. But hey don't men disrespect him? Y has he not thrown blow with them? The highest he will do with guys is quarrel. But women he beats and of course women will always be women.

doyinbaby:
then avoid sex with him during your ovulation period....this is not 100% effective

That's what I try to do. But he won't hear I am not safe. He will claim he will withdraw. I took in for my second child in the name of withdrawal. If he wants sex, he wants sex.... No turning him down or he will have it forcefully

Seanjay:




Dont you have any friends or family in lagos at all? and i think thats more reason why he is treating you bad? what about him does he has family in lagos?

Friends, how long will friends harbour/tolerate you with 2 children.
He has relations in Lagos but they are of the opinion that I die in his hands. They are on his side. The won't let me leave him.

Coldplay007:
whatever reasons you have for not wanting to do family planning is Rubbish.

Is this the way you will be doing trial and error till the end of the life? After You have mistakenly delivered 10 times, your brain will reset, In this age and time?

How do you think you will convince a married man to be using condom for his wife?

You better go and do family planning now..

Do family planning and continue the pains I feel each day? With or without family planning my dear I have been a victim of sexual abuse. This is an abusive relationship. I have never enjoyed lovemaking in this marriage. It has always been sex, sex and sex again

doyinbaby:
Why can't you do family planning ....because family planning is seriously needed now unless you want a third child

I just can't

dangotesmummy:
my dear a victim of serial rape,verbal,emotional and psychological abuse is vulnerable, will have low self esteem,the husband will make her feel she deserves all the animalistic treatment metted out on her.right now she needs healing, soul healing, mental healing, love to see that she's valuable she deserves respect and life.it's obvious the man has dealt with her so bad that her dignity as a woman has been stripped off.she thinks she's not valuable without her husband that's why.its love she needs not judgment

Thanks dangotesmummy, you know exactly how I feel inside

Seanjay:





OP MY OWN ADVICE FOR YOU IS TEMPORARY SEPARATION FOR NOW, GO BACK TO YOUR PARENTS HOUSE FOR A WHILE, THANK GOD YOU ARE WORKING AND YOU PAY YOUR BILLS YOURSELF SO HE WONT BE MISSED, CAUSE I SEE THAT MAN KILLING YOU SOON IF YOU CONTINUE TO STAY IN THAT HOUSE WITH HIM, MAY GOD FORBID ANYWAY, TAKE FEW THINGS WITH YOU AND LEAVE FOR A WHILE.... I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU HERE... MAY GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR KIDS...

Amen. I will leave but no place to go as my parents live in Benin and I work here in Lagos.

baby124:
My dear your husband is mentally insane. He is a rapist, sadist and a psychopath. You will eventually die from stress and hypertension is you don't take to your heels. He already has another woman outside. Please step aside so that she can enjoy him fully and taste the wonders you are seeing inside the house with him.

Take your kids and run. It will never get better and such a man will kill you. When you are dead he won't have problems raping your daughter. When there is life, there is hope o. Your children deserve for you to be alive and take care of them. This man does not give a damn about the 3 of you. Just run away. Just it that it was a mistake marrying him and run for your life. Is this how you want your son to treat his wife? Is this how you will want your daughter to be treated? If you stay you are showing them that such a behavior is normal. It's not.

He can bring in his mistress, but obviously can't live with him and his mistress.

EfemenaXY:
This thread is a joke.

For a "woman" with a newborn, a toddler, and a maniac husband whom you have to tip-toe around for fear of getting beaten up, you do seem to have a lot of spare time on your hands - eagle watching, monitoring and rapidly responding to comments on your thread.

The kids are asleep. I am hardly awake this time. The man is not home yet. I wrote this out of pains. I needed advice

DukeNija:


Madam pls you've not answered my question. Pls I dey vex Abeg no vex me more. Didn't you see the signs while dating him. Forget the sex I'm referring to how he treats you and his character generally. Didn't you notice the violence, anger and lack of sincere love?

I didn't my dear.
We dated from a distance... He was in Lagos I was in benin

DukeNija:
Nawa o. How did you end up marrying this man? Didn't you see the signs? Didn't you date him for a while cos im really not understanding this level of hatred he has for his own family. Young family for that matter. This is not ordinary o.

Yeah, it isn't ordinary.... That's y I keep praying and trusting God

DukeNija:
Nawa o. How did you end up marrying this man? Didn't you see the signs? Didn't you date him for a while cos im really not understanding this level of hatred he has for his own family. Young family for that matter. This is not ordinary o.

I don't know oh.
You see it as hatred. He sees it as a right because he has paid bride price

Badgers14:


Was your husband like this when you too were dating

Have you had a chat with him lately about why he is mistreating you, like did you do sth wrong? Is there sth you were supposed to be doing that you are not doing, you know stuffs like that?

While we were dating no s*x
Mistreating me To him it is his normal life. He does not see it as mistreatment. He is the man. Imagine a man who doesn't have a hobby. My hubby doesn't have a hobby. I am his hobby, sex with me is his hobby.

Enoquin:
You seriously don't know what to do? You have several options;
*Separation with the aim to reconcile
*Separation with the aim to divorce
*Family planning
*Prayers
*Sexy lingere
*Talk to counselor

Choosing any of the option will depend greatly on what your personal goals are. No one can tell you what you hope for yourself, only you can and once you have identified what you want, one of the above options becomes a decision for you

Seriously looking at your first option

sybarite7:
HE OVERPOWERED YOU AND HAD SEX WITH YOU,OFFENCE no1(RAPE).

HE BEATS YOU.OFFENCE no2(DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)

WITH WAT YOU WROTE,HE'S A SEX ADDICT,AND A WOMAN BEATER,SO MY SISTER PRAYER CANNOT DO EVERYTHING, EVEN THE BIBLE SAID,HEAVEN HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES...

YOU HAVE TO SEAT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM,TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL,IF HE DOESN'T CONCUR,MY DEAR LOOK FOR A BETTER ALTERNATIVE TO STAY ALIVE

as for domestic violence I have reported him to the police. But as for rape, who do I tell? They will say he has paid bride price... I have never enjoyed love making. It has always been s*x, s*x and more s*x

TUNSBOYLE:
put on extra tight jeans on the service part, he wont be easy for him, instead of sleeping gown

you think so?

TUNSBOYLE:
put on extra tight jeans on the service part, he wont be easy for him, instead of sleeping gown

you think so

Mskrisx:
TR1212....oh lawdy lawd! What is happening?? Madam pls run oooo chaiiii

My marriage is just 3 years.... Run to where

snowlord:
madam plz kindly leave him,he will eventually come to his senses.dnt let him kill u first .plz biko

By leave him, you mean divorce or temporary separation?