NewStats: 3,264,720 , 8,184,514 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 June 2025 at 07:54 AM 5a6125

Yinabim:
Hello Everyone,

I am writing here for the first time, i don't know how to feel about this because i a very private person but since the death of my husband i had to wake up everyday to sadness. I never knew the extent of pain people feel when they lose their loved ones until now. I cant even concentrate on anything else and his family are making things difficult for themselves already.

I'm so young and with a 2 year old daughter, i just hope God help me scale through this storm. I'll come here to update this page as things unfold.

The story
My husband is a very kind man, he is way older than I am because he was a divorcee , ultimately he loved God and was very prayerful, I’ve known him for over seven years but we got married 4years ago and legalized the marriage in 2022.
He has 5 children plus my two years old makes 6, tbh my husband is a very wonderful man and I doubt if men like him still exist. He holds my hands in middle of the night praying for me and my baby, he loved me sincerely. He met me in 100level and waited till I finished school. Anyways after I had a baby he said he wanted me to go to Canada to further my studies. I didn’t want to go because I was thinking of how he would cope without me, he promised to come every quarter and assured me it was for the best.

I left Nigeria in 2023 (April) , his last visit was January 2024, he was preparing to come again in September, however, I got the news of his death July 17th 2024. My whole world came crashing. I didn’t believe it, why did God give me such a wonderful man only to take him away from me suddenly.

For clarity purpose, it’s important to state that he has six children including mine

First child (female) married and resides in Australia
My husband told me that her mother (woman A) had walked out of the marriage because he was poor, saying “she wouldn’t sit down with him in poverty” . They never had a legal marriage. So Woman A left to marry another man.


Woman B, legally married him had four children (two males and two females), I didn’t hear her side of the story and out of respect for her, I’ll just say irreconcilable differences, he decided he couldn’t move on with her and he divorced her. He however left her in their matrimonial house and left her with the water factory which she was running, although he didn’t hand over the documents


I am woman C.

I came home for the funeral, but before I could make it home , Woman A’s daughter has gotten home, gone to my matrimonial home and cleared all documents.

Please note that , no one ever lived with my husband and I in the house apart from my younger brother, Woman A daughter has also never visited the house.

My husband was into properties and he has two schools also (primary and secondary in different locations) .
Durning my stay in Nigeria, Woman A’s daughter (lady A) has conducted herself like a kind person , although I saw red flags but in my state of grief I didn’t think much about them, from Fighting for my husband’s phones , to taking away his SUV, changing security guards at the gate etc. I honestly didn’t see her as a greedy person.

I came back to Canada that same week, she already brought in some lawyers who will handle letter of istration and help oversee estate matters. Myself and all the children were on the same page till lady A said she wanted to be the sole signatory to the schools .

I disagreed and suggested that three of us (myself, Lady A and one of woman B children) should sign concurrently alongside on all transactions.

Lady A was so adamant about the signatory issue that she started to throw shades and subtle insults , I stood my ground and it took her lawyer’s intervention before she agreed. Since then I have become lady As enemy.

Guess what?
Lady A in recent development had instructed the security that no one should enter into my matrimonial home without her permission, I sent my brother there on two occasions and he was denied access, I can’t imagine seeking the permission of lady A who is in Australia in her husbands house before entering my own husbands house, a place she has never lived in or visited!! I don’t want this to lead to legal suits here and there, but these people are not so gentle and peaceful, I paid my dues in that house it was uncompleted when I married my husband and I contributed in my own way.
I am not greedy and I’m willing to meet everyone in middle but Nigerians are so terrible, she is in Australia and she knows no one can do these nonsense abroad but they take advantage of gentility.

Come to Dunamis International Gospel Centre, Abuja, I will help direct you to counsellors and then to the church free legal aid or you can meet them without even my assistance. Meanwhile, commanding the day midnight prayer on YouTube tonight. God is set to reveal something to you.
God bless you.

iCauseTrouble:
I am not ready nor prepared for the exam now.
Can I and choose end of the year for the exam?

Yes, I think that's very possible.

mistacoco2:
Hello guys,

For some days now I have been on a serious dilemma whether to resign from my federal government job that pays me above N200k for my current position and migrate to the UK or stay in naija and set up a business to augment my salary. I will be 34 years next year, I feel traveling to the uk for studies next year September will delay my chances of getting married, as I have planned not exceeding 34 years without getting married.

I belong to the school of thought that believes can make it in Nigeria despite all odds. However, considering the economic realities of the country, I have recently contemplating of japa and maybe get a Nigerian lady for marriage after my studies.

Please I earnestly need matured advice from you guys to know how to start the coming year.

For me, I will advice you to plan well before thinking of leaving. Its a foreign land you want to go to and there's no place money is being plugged from the tree there. Also ask yourself after my masters what's the next and what kind of job can I confidently apply for and get. Do your research, don't put your trust on all that a travel agent tells you.

kettykings:
The south east is on another level. igbo land doesn't need Nigeria for anything whatsoever.
I hope the governor will use this and power Africa .

The energy God imbeded in igbo land is enough to power Africa and the rest of the world. We don't need Nigeria for anything whatsoever

We Igbos always bragging, always blowing things out of proportion thereby attracting unnecessary attention and jealousy, nawa o

Athena6:
So Nigeria have finally happen to me, I thought if I save a little to the 5M I have, it would be able to leave this country by next year.

But right now, it is impossible, I saw on Twitter how a lady was begging money for flight ticket which was about 2.2M, just flight ticket o.

Months ago, a relative of mine told me someone is looking for a dependent and he will connect me to the person, he said the payment was 4M and I was not going to pay much after that and I will stay with the person in the UK before I settle on my own but I was forming big girl saying I will do my process by myself.

Now look, dollar have increased, the money is now worthless, anyway when there is life, there is hope.

Nairaland please help me think of a business to start with 2M, I can't just leave the money in the bank to keep on depreciating.

Thank you

If you are a young person, let's talk about going into tech...

Sabadon:
Igbo kwenu....


Igbo Amaka

Igbos, we brag a lot, we are the ones attracting unnecessary jealousy and hatred from other tribes. Can we stop all these bragging and exaggerations. Let's learn to be coded alittle, that's wisdom.

BlaqScarface:
I want to pursue a masters abroad as a means of escaping this country. I’m jobless at the moment but I’ve been saving from my former job for two years and also got a couple millions from sport betting and inheritance.

I’m confused about this while japa thing as I don’t want to go abroad and start doing useless jobs or start suffering or get depressed in another man’s land. I want stability and peace in a country with a reasonable economy.

Also, I have a first degree in English language, I’m 24. I’m confused on the path of my life to take please advise me.

My candid advice to you is to save the money, people who are okay abroad are people with high demand skills. If you can discipline yourself, you can venture into acquiring a tech skill first. People who japa without planning are regretting today because they don't know how to come back.

Mwenma:
I just redeployed to Abuja and I need a good ppa that pays. Please if you know of any,kindly help me out.

What's did you study?

You want to invest in Real Estate? Are a Realtor or a Real Estate Owner?
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today and plan to attend.
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debola33:
When last did you use worm expeller? Get one

Jeez like 6months ago..

movingclouds:
The worm inside you na DJ Jimmy Jat..

Lolz, are you serious

SKhanmi:
It's your gears, they are packing up On a serious note, You probably take in air with your food. Do you rush your food most times?

Yeah I do o

Its like a frequent thing.. Alright just drank tea now and its making noise, most times its embarrassing when in official setting.

Hello guys, hope we are having a wonderful day.. Please guys my stomach has been making some noise most especially after eating or during fasting... Please who knows what could cause a noisy stomach for a guy.

Trust034:



Lagos, Ikeja precisely.

Alright chat me up 08183902404

Where is your Location?

missyojo:


I need a self con in a serene and secured area with constant electricity and water along Airport Road axis.

There is one vacant selfcon where I live, very affordable, fenced, light is like constant light and constant water with pop, location bwari. It a new house, the landlord is living with his family here too with large compound

Hideki:
"This thread is my Advise to the young man living with his wife and sister in-law in a room self con"



I read on this forum about a young man and his wife living in a room self con and the wife's sister is living with them. Everyone criticized him and advised him to save and get a bigger apartment and live comfortably (Instead of saving to increase your stream of income, you are saving to increase your liability "rent" how are you gonna get out of poverty when you are increasing your liability and expense on a fixed income? Sadly the ladies were encouraging the young man to SAVE and (become poorer) get a bigger apartment without thinking twice. (May God deliver is from partners without wisdom)

I will use a real life scenario to the subject.
My dad got married at about 26, gave birth to 8 children in a single room(3.6mx3.6m). My dad worked as a bank security guard all his life (All his eight children are/were bankers). My mum was into ajo/esusu. We lived in that single room until my oldest brother got a job.Who says you can't start a family in a single room? let alone a self con. Listen, we are all going to make different degrees of sacrifices to get a better life. You better start now.

Let us use my dad as a case. If he had waited(for years) for the situation to improve, before he started giving birth, he would have been too old/weak to give my elder ones (then teenagers) the beatings they deserve to keep them in check while growing up in the ghettos.

You will have to focus on what is important on time. I could when my dad deprived us of a coloured TV. My mum had saved a little for us to purchase our neighbors spoilt coloured TV. My dad took part of the money to buy an Oxford dictionary for my oldest brother. My siblings and I got so angry that we wanted to read up/ copy out the whole dictionary and sell it the next day.

Thirdly his income never improve! (his meager salary increase could not knock off inflation) This is life and is real. you may never have that increased income. Are you going to pause your life hoping for an increased income? "you don't get caught up on where you would rather be and fail to make the best use of where you are."

Fourthly, you will have an increased sense of responsibility. My dad knew the value of a bottle of beer. A bottle of beer then was N40 naira. That is equivalent to 4 exercise books. Instead of having Deborah waiting for him early in the morning for books, he will decline the beer.

With the right training and God, you may not have to LABOUR for too long. at 56 my three of my siblings were graduates and gainfully employed and forced him to stop working. we had relocated to a three bedroom apartment. At 60 my Dad became a high chief. @65 he was Knighted and we gifted him and my mum the duplex he had always fantasised about and his Son in-laws once gifted him a car each ( imagine you have five son in-laws). At 56, the first child of my dad's closest friend was 12.

Lastly, do not allow narrow minded people impair your judgement. Narrow minded people are dangerous. They don't have a game plan. they just want to live comfortably (big rented apartment own a car with all their savings) and retire to nothing. These are the set of people that will see their children going into crime to make money and they will look away. They want to "meet-up". There is nothing wrong seeing a young man hustling and sacrificing for his family. There is something wrong seeing an old man struggling.

When I got my first job after a year, I was entitled to about 2m for a car loan, I took the loan, use one of my brother's car to front. I got married (while living in my elder sister's BQ a single room selfcon and I gave birth there.)with part of the loan, I used the other part to complete my professional certification cos I was paying in USD. After repaying part of the loan for a few months, I borrowed from my sister to pay back the outstanding on the loan. I left the company for one of the big 4 audit firm. worked there for two years and I came back to my former company on a middle management grade.

Many may disagree with the subject, but while we argue about the correctness or suitability of the subject, our greatest enemy "time" is ticking.

Finally brethren, beware of narrow minded people! flee from them. They always want chop chop and comfort at the present they are myopic.

Op you are right but most times it all narrows down to when you meet the right person to get married to.

Lisabi01:
Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

For me I would advice you to put everything on hold until you understand what you want... You are in a state of confusion now, also apart from seeking people's counsel. The number one thing you need to seek now is the face of God directly through prayers and dedication... Goodluck

TheArchangel:
How old is your brother?
Oga, stand your ground in that house.
Force your brother to rent a house for you by raising serious hell and at the same time appearing meek. Sleep in that room when you come back and if the wife and her sisters talk trash, raise hell. Do not budge one beat. Keep your bags in the shop but sleep in that room to avoid them mes your things. Take the food from that pot and raise hell while doing it. When your brother comes or is around, pretend like they are accusing you falsely.
self defense, beat the sh!t out of any of the sisters that touch you first. You can plead self-defense later. Do not touch the wife but to use your mouth to finish her. .
Do not relent. If they can be there, you can be also. It's either your brother chase you all away or peace or resemblance of it will rain in that house.

Madam calm down, there is a peaceful approach to follow issues, I don't know if you are reading what you are typing

Blesser28:
Anyone here who usés vs code and juypter and conda together

Anaconda has the other two na

What if the python had beaten you There are some things that shouldn't be joked with ooo moreover how was she able to get that snake into the lavatory

Greetings to you! And Happy New Month. Are you a python programmer, beginner, intermediate or expert, drop your number so that I can add you to the WhatsApp group, am about to create where we can help each other get to the peak through sharing of ideas, resources, projects and encouraging ourselves on how to manage time and code for long per day and finally share job notifications. Please only serious minded python programmers, any unserious person would be ejected from the group swiftly. Thanks. Drop your number or you can better still chat me up to be added to the group 08183902404

Greetings to you! Are you a python programmer, beginner, intermediate or expert, drop your number so that I can add you to the WhatsApp group, am about to create where we can help each other get to the peak through sharing of ideas, resources, projects and encouraging ourselves on how to manage time and code for long per day and finally share job notifications. Please only serious minded python programmers, any unserious person would be ejected from the group swiftly. Thanks. Drop your number

9jatriot:
You can easily receive your money with payoneer. It's easy to using this link here . Ensure you have your valid ID card ready, mostly your driver's license or international port.

OK thanks

CokeBar:


You can also order for that.

I don't have/use one, so my information is limited.

Alright thanks alot

CokeBar:


Nope, can be Naira

What about payoneer card?

9jatriot:
Unfortunately when it comes to dropshipping, I won't be able to offer you as much . I think there are a few threads on Nairaland about dropshiping, have you checked them out?

No am not talking about dropshipping, I mean doing remote jobs, receiving and withdrawing pay from abroad..

CokeBar:


I don't think creating an on Payoneer should pose any difficulty.

You will be required to a valid ID. I think they mostly accept International port.

If you encounter any difficulty, please mention me.

You simply send and receive money through email addresses. You can also withdraw to your or make a payment to a supplier

Thanks a lot but withdrawing to , must be a domiciliary ?

CokeBar:


Absolutely!

Thank you ma, can you help me with the process, from ing with payoneer, receiving money and withdrawing successfully with no stories.. Or can I DM you on that ma?

9jatriot:
Very different sir.
From your questions, I reckon you are asking from an ecommerce point of view, Payoneer is mostly suited for the freelance guys, but for ecommerce, I think people have found a way around PayPal but the risk are enormous as they can wake up one day and close your .

Exactly sir, that killed my vibe for going into dropshipping because I hate doing anything that is not 100% of getting my fruit after the struggle even the changing of location method some are using for PayPal is very risky.. Please Can I DM you for the process, from ing, receiving money and withdrawing successfully with no stories..