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Calamus's Posts 3o2p2a

Calamus's Posts

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calamus(m): 3:01pm On Aug 26, 2018
Chai! I no go lie you, Centino, me and you nearly get problem as you begin dey mention all the things wen damage for inside im eye, but as you come mention say surgery go solve the matter, no wahalla, we don settle. I believe we all go No. 225 people dem raise the money, because Chisco cannot the 'One-eyed Club'.

As for this update, na the meme wen I dey find since I don see; besides, this last part wey make me laff like mad person for trend wella if to say I good with Twitter:

Centino:

...
As they spoke, a white ambulance pulled up in front of the house and a smartly dressed hospital official alighted and jumped the gutter into the compound.

“Good afternoon sirs” he greeted.

“Yes, good afternoon, how can we help you?”

“Is this number 225 Katakata street?”

“Yes it is.”

“Okay we are from Yaba left psychiatric hospital. We brought home a patient you people brought to us some months ago.”

“Yes yes Akunna. How is he now?”

“He is fine. He is in the van.”

“You mean he is well?”

“Oh sure. We did not have a phone number to anyone and no one had come to see him for three months. But since his condition has improved, we decided to bring him home. The hospital has written off his bill in sympathy for the circumstances that led to his commitment.”

“That is so kind of you. Erm, you say he is in the van?”

“Yes,” the man said and turned and snapped his fingers. Then the door of the ambulance slid open and Akunna alighted. Two other hospital staff dressed in the same cream robes stood each side of him.

It was Akunna all right. To everyone’s amazement, he did look well. Only he was now more noticeably grey in the head and the freckles on his face seemed to have multiplied. Everyone rushed out to welcome him but as they got close, he stretched out his hands and said, “Stop! The champ is here!”

The hospital staff looked surprised. His neighbors looked at each other and then at the men that brought Akunna. Then Akunna said, “I am Cena. Call me Cena!”

Mama Akunna rushed out from the backyard ululating and swinging her waist in delight as she heard her son was back. Everyone cleared the way for her as she rushed to embrace Akunna. As she stretched her arms towards him, he deftly seized one arm and brought his shoulder to her waist level and allowed her momentum to carry her onto his shoulders and then he eased up again. Then he put a hand over her neck and the second on the back of her knees and everyone watched in horror as Akunna spun and slammed his mother onto the concrete with John Cena’s famous "FU" move.

In other news, you have made my Sunday. Thank you.

**But that one no mean say we go accept this failure of a leader as a leader ... wink

I am Calamus! Call me calamus!!!

26 Likes 3 Shares

calamus(m): 10:11am On Aug 25, 2018
Chai!

Innocenti nwa mamaa!
You are just on heat! grin
Better heat.

I predicted something like this, but not exactly. And about the eye, you better find a twist oh! I can't agree that we should now fear the risks of doing good.

That Chisco guy just encouraged me! Centino ride on. Even I no comment, I go dey pray for you. wink

1 Like

calamus(m): 7:11am On Aug 15, 2018
ossyjxmmi07:
The portal is not opening for registration or can anybody send me the link

definitely you've done your registration by now, no?
calamus(m): 9:09pm On Aug 06, 2018
DragonKnight:

I will be really grateful if you'll help me do so, I already have the post-utme past questions and I want to know if the questions are similarly structured with the direct entry questions.

A source said that the examination questions are different from the Post UTME questions, as are the examination dates.
calamus(m): 12:11pm On Aug 05, 2018
let me update my thread followers
calamus(m): 5:01pm On Aug 04, 2018
I have been reading for quite a while without commenting Centino; not because I don't want to, not that I am not enjoying the story, but mehn, typing such a long reply as this will always sound like torture to me.

Now that I am on PC however, I don't want to write long episode. I just want to encourage you.
Keep up the good work bro. Your story is an award winner! cheesy

1 Like

calamus(m): 4:03pm On Aug 04, 2018
Punctual:
Good evening, please while trying to for this nnpc/chevron scholarship, there is a tab there telling me to fill community but don't know what community means....please who has an idea?

tysonnn:
pls did you later get an answer to this question? I'm stuck here too.

Ah ah! Seriously guys? shocked Community, like your village, or town.
calamus(m): 3:59pm On Aug 04, 2018
Thread updated.
Forms not on sale yet.

Mods: cc mynd44 lalasticlala dominique please help modify name to read:
Unizik 2018/2019 Post UTME/Undergraduate/Direct Entry Discussion Thread

instead of me having to create new threads. Please.
calamus(m): 3:48pm On Aug 04, 2018
CyrilPatrickk:
hello.. can u help us with tips on how to smash 80+ in unizik post ume..
I'm a medic aspirant

Hmm. lipsrsealed How to smash 80+?
I know a lot of people are out there carrying "guaranteed" success tips that will grant one ission or obtaining above 90%, but the only points I will make are as follows:

1. FEAR: is the beginning of failing in any exam, including the post UTME. A lot of students begin to fear before they enter the exam hall, and it is evident in the nervous manner they handle the computer system (in CBT exams) or writing materials. You will have to exorcise fear from your mind, and you can only do that if you...

2. PREPARE: Seriously, the importance of preparation cannot be overemphasized. Read to learn. Avoid cramming information into your head, unless where necessary. Tell yourself that every topic you are reading is for you to KNOW, not . When you know, you can always .
Get Past Questions and Answers and consume as much information as you can from the material. Quite often, questions are repeated, and who knows? You just might find out in the exam halls that all your questions look familiar.
Approach the exam hall with confidence, not too much of it, and definitely not too little. Take deep breaths of air when you feel nervous; it will ease tension from your mind. I wish I can write more on this point, but...

3. PRAY: I don't want to venture into the spiritual; about how some problems are from curses and all that, but you need God in your endeavours, not just because you need ission, but in understanding that you cannot do anything without his aid.

Of course, these would not be all, but if you can make adequate preparations for your exam, pray about it, and be confident that God is in control, you will smile after everything.

1 Like

calamus(m): 3:40pm On Aug 04, 2018
DragonKnight:
Are UNIZIK's post-utme past questions related to their direct entry past questions? I am a direct entry aspirant.

I can't really say for now, @DragonKnight.
Perhaps, I would go to these Past Q&A vendors around here in Unizik and skim through a few copies, see what I can find.
calamus(m): 7:31am On Aug 03, 2018
thread up to date this morning. no forms on sale yet.
calamus(m): 7:44am On Aug 02, 2018
Thread up to date this morning.
calamus(m): 7:33am On Aug 01, 2018
Thread up to date!
calamus(m): 10:09pm On Jul 31, 2018
Munzy14:
nice

Welcome, Munzy14
calamus(m): 9:05pm On Jul 31, 2018
UPDATE: POST UTME FORM NOW ON SALE!

This thread is for all prospective undergraduate students of the Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka.
It is meant to provide useful information for all intending applicants from the 2018/2019 session application period and onward.
Currently, everyone is waiting for the sale of Post-UTME forms.

1. WHAT YOU CAN GET FROM THIS THREAD
a. Information on application process in Unizik.
b. Assistance with obtaining educational materials available only within Awka environs, e.g. Past Q & A.
c. Assistance with obtaining forms on sale for Unizik programmes.

2. WHAT YOU CANNOT GET FROM THIS THREAD
a. ission
b. News not concerned with forms and programmes in Unizik
c. Other info not listed in 1.

3. HOW TO USE THIS THREAD
a. Important information, such as sale of Post-UTME form, Application periods, deadlines, JUPEB, etc, will always be updated on page 1.
b. Report all suspicious persons asking you to send monies for ission, and other suspicious activities by quoting this post or any other post by me.
c. Always ask for directions on any issue and you will receive response as soon as possible.
d. Line one will bear current news, properly formatted with color to indicate its status.

I will endeavour to update this thread at least once a day, but in the event that that becomes an issue, I will assign that duty to someone we can trust to help for continuity.

The Nnamdi Azikiwe University has scheduled its 2018/2019 POST UTME and DIRECT ENTRY screening exercise for candidates who made the University their first choice in the 2018 University Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME) and Direct Entry as well as all NAU Institutions. The dates
are outlined below:


1. SCREENING EXERCISE DATES:
SATURDAY, 25TH AUGUST –
TUESDAY, 4TH SEPTEMBER, 2018

DAY 1: SATURDAY, 25th AUGUST, 2018
S/N Faculty
a. Arts
b. Physical Sciences

DAY 2: MONDAY, 27th AUGUST, 2018
S/N Faculty
a. Management Sciences
b. Biosciences

DAY 3: TUESDAY, 28th, AUGUST 2018
S/N Faculty
a. Engineering
b. Education
c. Basic Medical Sciences

DAY 4: WEDNESDAY, 29th AUGUST, 2018
S/N Faculty
a Health Sciences and Technology

DAY 5: THURSDAY, 30th AUGUST, 2018
S/N Faculty
a. Social Sciences
b. Pharmacy

DAY 6: FRIDAY, 31st AUGUST, 2018
S/N Faculty
a Medicine
b Agriculture

DAY 7: SATURDAY, 1st SEPTEMBER, 2018
S/N Faculty
a Law
b Environmental Sciences

DAY 8: MONDAY, 3rd SEPTEMBER 2018
S/N All Institutions (Utme& DE)
a. Fed College of Edu (Technical) Umunze
b. Enugu State Coll. of Edu Technical
c Auchi Polytecnic
d Pope John Paul Seminary

DAY 9: TUESDAY, 4th SEPTEMBER 2018
S/N DE for all NAU candidates
All Faculties


2. ELIGIBILITY:
a. Candidates who made Nnamdi Azikiwe University their first choice and have the
required cut-off mark are eligible to apply.

b. The general cut-off mark is 200 except for Faculties/Departments indicated below:

Faculties/Programmes with Cut-Off Mark of 180

(a) Agriculture – Agric Econs & Extension, Animal Science & Fisheries, Forestry & Wildlife, Food Science & Technology, Soil Science, Crop Science.

(b) Arts – Igbo, African& Asian Studies, History & International Studies, Linguistics, Music, Philosophy, Modern European Languages, Religion & Human Relations, Theatre and Film Studies, and Chinese Studies.

(c) Education – Adult Education, Early
Childhood & Primary Education, Guidance and Counselling, Human Kinetics & Health Education, Library & Information Science, Science Education, and Vocational Education.

(d) Engineering – Agric & Bioresources
Engineering, Polymer &Textiles
Engineering.

(e) Environmental Sciences – Architecture, Building, Quantity Surveying & Geoinformatics, Fine and Applied Arts,
Environmental management, Estate
management

(f) Physical Sciences – Mathematics and Statistics only.

(g) Health Sciences and Technology –
Environmental Health only.

(h) Management Sciences – Entrepreneurial Studies only.

Programmes with 160 Cut off
-Technical Education and
-All Institutions

Faculties / Programmes with Cut-Off Mark of 200
a. Arts - English Language and Literature
b. Basic Medical Sciences - Anatomy and Physiology

b. Biosciences - Applied Microbiology and Brewing, Applied Biochemistry, Botany,
Parasitology and Entomology and Zoology

c. Education - Educational Foundations,
Educational Management & Policy

d. Engineering - Chemical Engineering, Civil Engineering, Electrical Engineering, Electronic & Computer Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Industrial & Production Engineering, Metallurgical & Materials Engineering

e. Health Sciences & Technology - Medical Lab Sciences, Nursing Science, Radiography, Medical Rehab (Physiotherapy)

f. Law

g. Management Sciences - ancy, Banking & Finance, Business istration, Cooperative Economics & Management, Marketing, Public istration

h. Medicine - Medicine

i. Pharmaceutical Sciences - Pharmacy

j. Physical Sciences - Computer Science, Pure &
Industrial Chemistry, Physics & Industrial Physics, Geological Sciences
k. Social Sciences - Economics, Psychology, Political Science, Mass Communication, Sociology/Anthropology.

1 Like

calamus(m): 7:49am On Jul 10, 2018
If you're in awka, anambra, Call the number in my signature for registration...
calamus(m): 5:09pm On Jul 09, 2018


Chai! grin
I think the wink wink part took us by surprise.
E don tey wey many people dey wait for that part. And the description eh! grin

OK, enough rambling from me.

Nice employment of suspense.

...but again, Centino your writeup dey gimme joy.
I learnt something to strengthen my resolve against lust and falling for temptation. You're doing a very good work with your piece. I can only imagine how many lives you are silently touching with it.
Oya go collect one carton of Hero for QueenSuccubus beer parlor! I go pay! grin grin

2 Likes

calamus(m): 6:28pm On Jul 03, 2018


not again!
I was going to say these bloggers have come with another lie, but Lord! shocked shocked
Even the uncensored picture is gory!

Which of the gods did we offend? undecided undecided

Mod: I see water and a tank, but is this how firefighters are dressed in this country?
calamus(m): 6:24pm On Jul 03, 2018
tamethem:


Why not " 21 year old peaceful poor man from a religion of peace to be hanged for Stealing" grin

And is he the only poor man in Ado Ekiti. I'm sure there are people that are poorer than him.

A thief is a thief whether poor or rich.

He deserves the judgement.



I have modified my comment. Please read through...

...and thank you for being polite in your remark!

calamus(m): 5:38pm On Jul 03, 2018
kumbalo:
Porn on nairaland?



The mods have done their job.
I was like shocked shocked shocked
calamus(m): 5:32pm On Jul 03, 2018


blood...
every subsequent government tries to harvest more blood than the preceding one...

With Obasanjo - plane deaths (then that of his wife) Oh! beautiful Stella!
With Yaradua - I don't think there was any
With GEJ - Boko Haram
With Buhari - Boko Haram, Foolany, Trailers, Buildings, Recampaigning, Demolition, Illiteracy, Foolishness, Cluelessness, Fire, Guns, Hanging...

6 Likes 1 Share

calamus(m): 5:32pm On Jul 03, 2018


I silently prayed that Nigerians shouldn't have gotten to this level of depravity.
calamus(m): 5:30pm On Jul 03, 2018


Headline should read...
"21 Year Old POOR Man To Be Hanged To Death For Stealing In Ekiti"


Mod:
I never said that thieves shouldn't be prosecuted, all I'm saying is that whether he robs at gunpoint or not, let all receive the same verdict! angry


A thief is a thief, from the 419er to the corrupt politician and government (or private sector) official that takes what does not belong to them.


Now let me give you a quick underground story no one heard about because it didn't make the headline.

Do you know that Bill Gates for Polio Immunization is under threat following a discovery that the vaccines never reached the intended targets?

Do you know why?

Because the money that was meant for those who actually do the vaccination (those people that knock on your door and ask you if you have a child in your house) was cut down from the top all the way, and by the time it reached them, what was supposed to be N30,000 with transport and other allowances, became N10,000.

To cut long story short, these people would vaccinate one or two children, and pour the rest on the ground wherever they please.
Now, tell me, when those children get deformed from polio, who caused it?


NOTE: I am talking to no one in particular, and I refuse to give further details.

76 Likes 4 Shares

calamus(m): 5:26pm On Jul 03, 2018


That's why I don't take it funny when any of my friends say "Thunder fire you".
Sooner or later, when thunder is done processing all previous orders, he will come and answer.

...
But where is the thunder-fired body?

1 Like

calamus(m): 5:25pm On Jul 03, 2018


When will these people ever learn?
The dead are dead!

calamus(m): 5:08pm On Jul 03, 2018
Centino:
... kiss everyone...it's the anniversary edition! grin
SPIRITUAL FORTIFICATION

Sister Esther felt challenged.
...


I actually scrolled the whole post to observe its length before reading.
Now that I am satisfied, let me leave this comment before I read.

Modified: grin grin thanks for the update... things have begun to happen. just small stains here and there is what Mama Akunna needed to dilute the efficacy of the prayer... Waiting for next episode


monalicious:

...We, your fans, are also doing you a favour by reading it...


Aunty, nobody is doing anybody any favour here. Even he did not say he was doing us a favour by writing the story.
If you think that the story will lose followership if you stop reading today, you are welcome to try.

People never see the things you got correctly; it's the one mistake you made that makes the headline... SMH

12 Likes 3 Shares

calamus(m): 1:31am On Jun 16, 2018
kingxsamz:


Is she the one the snake swallowed? undecided


No sir, she's not. Can never be. I heard she eats pythons. grin
calamus(m): 1:30am On Jun 16, 2018
QueenSuccubus:



shocked

Why u mentioned me? I am not from Indonesia ooo.. And this kind of incidents are common in that country.. The snakes in Indonesia (especially in the wilderness) are super big ones..Maybe bcoz ppol there don't hunt snakes for them to eat unlike in the Philippines, for us it's an exotic food... grin



Don't mind me. Your name was the first exclamation that came to mind when I saw it. grin
You said you're not from Indonesia. You are a Filipino? undecided
calamus(m): 1:15am On Jun 16, 2018
QueenSuccubus:


I open the PHOTO APP grin

It was empty but on the upper right corner, there was a red dot in "IMPORT". So, clicked it.BOOOOOM!!! It automatically imported the pictures & videos from somewhere lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

And look what i found, a very graphic sex acts of this guy and a little girl (maybe age 8-10) angry angry angry angry
Behind all these smiles & friendly face, HE IS A PAEDOPHILE... The videos & pics have different time stamps & location.

At the moment, I dunno what to do? Should I report him or should I confront him first?

I'M SHOOK.



*Sorry, I have no strengh to the pics here.*


Of course, there will be no need to the pictures here, as it is advice you ask for. No reason to give some perverts a reason to exhibit sadistic tendencies.

MY CONTRIBUTION
I would advise that you do not report to authorities YOURSELF. Approach a kind, respectable woman you know around, and let her know what you saw. She would do the reporting herself. But reporting is a must.
Only few of these Asian countries have tolerance for blacks, talk more Nigerians.

The problem with what I just said is that I am wondering if it makes sense...

EDIT: I see you have already filed a report. Well done!
undecided
calamus(m): 1:02am On Jun 16, 2018
shocked shocked shocked
QueenSuccubus!

The third picture though; why is the serpent looking alive? As in, curved that way? undecided

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