NewStats: 3,259,306 , 8,169,776 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 May 2025 at 04:50 PM p286k

He's my friend's fiance,and the only child to his mum,who will do anything for him.
He doesn't have a job but his mum wants him to get married.

His Mum loves my friend,gives her pocket money, buys her stuff,call her and do all other assumed responsibilities of the fiance asides intimacy.

When she sensed my friend wasn't comfortable coming to visit the guy in her house,she rented a 3-bedroom apartment for him and equipped it.She's responsible for EVERYTHING in the house, and even gives my girlfriend money to cook food for her son if she isn't able to send food stuff and ingredients down.

Whenever the guy is broke,he calls mummy and she responds.Though he says he's trying to make money but his avenues are not clear-cut.trying to land contracts and hanging around political god-fathers.

A date has being fixed for introductions and an assumed wedding date already.

What kind of a husband would he be because technically he's nothing without his mum?
My friend is worried and so am i for her.

Hmmmmm...... Mama is working on d instructions of her babalawo I think!

He must b a calabash baby IMO

Even before you typed this thing here,you yourself know exactly what kinda husband he'l b.
I pity ur frnd sha. I really,really pity her!

Idowuogbo: Hmmmmm...... Mama is working on d instructions of her babalawo I think!

He must b a calabash baby IMO

forget that thing!
Nor be babalawo matter but a mother's overstreched protection and responsibility towars her son.

slimyem: He's my friend's fiance.he's the only child whose mum will do anything for.
He doesnt have a job per se but his mum wants him to get married.the woman loves my friend,gives her pocket money, buys her stuff,call her and do all other assumed responsibilities of the fiance asides intimacy.
When she sensed my friend wasn't comfortable coming to visit the guy in her house,she rented a 3-bedroom apartment for him and equipped it.
She's responsible for EVERYTHING in the house and even gives my gf money to cook food for her son if she isnt able to send food stuff and ingredients down.

Whenever the guys broke,he calls mummy and she responds.
Though he says he's trying to make money but his avenues are not clear-cut.trying to land contracts and bla-bla and hanging around political god-fathers.
A date has being fixed for introductions and an assumed wedding date already.
What kind of a husband would he be because technically he's nothing without his mum?
My friend is worried and so am i for her.

I felt nauseated after reading the bolded. Is that a man or a baby!

I d rather marry a hardworking poor fellow than this kind of men who dont want to live mummy's breast.
They are lazy and of no good use to a woman.
No thanks he can go back to mummy

pendo89:

I felt nauseated after reading the bolded. Is that a man or a baby!

I d rather marry a hardworking poor fellow than this kind of men who dont want to live mummy's breast.
They are lazy and of no good use to a woman.
No thanks he can go back to mummy

at least,you understand the cause of my worry...and there's only little i can say to this friend so it doesnt sound like i'm trying to break-up her relationship.
But she's so dear to me and i just dunno what to do.

slimyem: forget that thing!
Nor be babalawo matter but a mother's overstreched protection and responsibility towars her son.

Ok o! I hia u!

Judging someone afar via hearsay is an allegation!
You might be surprised if he is not the kind of guy u tot of.
Allow ur friend to work it out!

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marriage should be the last thing on his mind if he doesnt have a job. Momsie is just looking for a slave for her son. So the girl parades over to the guys house to cook for him? Well done, lmfao, well done very much.

ayobase: Judging someone afar via hearsay is an allegation!
You might be surprise if he is not the kind of guy u tot of.
Allow ur friend to work it out!

hey mister,i'm not judging nothing from afar.
The lady in question is my best friend and more (no homo!)
I am privy to the genesis and exodus of the relationship.i know EVERYTHING or almost so just take my word for it!

Leave babalawo out of dis. D main issue is, if they eventually marry, they'll neva live a normal life. I mean a normal life where decisions are taken as husband and wife. In dis case, its gonna be Mother and son, then d wife.

queensmith: marriage should be the last thing on his mind if he doesnt have a job. Momsie is just looking for a slave for her son. So the girl parades over to the guys house to cook for him? Well done, lmfao, well done very much.

she only gets to cook for him when she's there to spend weekends.
He's not as keen on marriage as his mum his.She's the mastermind!

I know a guy like that, he is a lawyer but he has refused to do anything resonable with his life.
When ever he is broke, all he has to do is call his parents (expecially his mom) and they will send everything he needs..

Without been told i know the kind of husband he will be.. (the lazy type)
I just pity his future wife.

slimyem: she only gets to cook for him when she's there to spend weekends.
He's not as keen on marriage as his mum his.She's the mastermind!

Lets just say she is marrying his mom

slimyem: she only gets to cook for him when she's there to spend weekends.
He's not as keen on marriage as his mum his.She's the mastermind!

the mum probably knows that her son is a loser and is looking for a woman to secure his future with.

Does your friend have a job?

even if its weekends or every other thursday, its his house why doesnt he do the cooking?

bisi16: Leave babalawo out of dis. D main issue is, if they eventually marry, they'll neva live a normal life. I mean a normal life where decisions are taken as husband and wife. In dis case, its gonna be Mother and son, then d wife.

Ok o! Ayaf left voodoo out o!

Boneyemz! Did u say hes d only child?

Hmmmm......

queensmith:

the mum probably knows that her son is a loser and is looking for a woman to secure his future with.

Does your friend have a job?

even if its weekends or every other thursday, its his house why doesnt he do the cooking?

she has a job.not a very good one but sustainable.
Why doesn't he do the cooking?
Babe,we are talking about a typical Nigerian man here!

He's a wasteman!

slimyem: she has a job.not a very good one but sustainable.
Why doesn't he do the cooking?
Babe,we are talking about a typical Nigerian man here!

how could i forget- nobody is beyond cooking for himself in my books lol, esp a jobless nigerian man :p

Well, if it's not important to them to get married they don't need to rush. The mother knows what she's doing, I've seen it happen before, smart woman.

Alot of people are bigger on sentiments than they are on planning, she needs to take a long hard look at the situation and decide if everything is right.

slimyem: He's my friend's fiance.he's the only child whose mum will do anything for.
He doesnt have a job per se but his mum wants him to get married.the woman loves my friend,gives her pocket money, buys her stuff,call her and do all other assumed responsibilities of the fiance asides intimacy.
When she sensed my friend wasn't comfortable coming to visit the guy in her house,she rented a 3-bedroom apartment for him and equipped it.
She's responsible for EVERYTHING in the house and even gives my gf money to cook food for her son if she isnt able to send food stuff and ingredients down.

Whenever the guys broke,he calls mummy and she responds.
Though he says he's trying to make money but his avenues are not clear-cut.trying to land contracts and bla-bla and hanging around political god-fathers.
A date has being fixed for introductions and an assumed wedding date already.
What kind of a husband would he be because technically he's nothing without his mum?
My friend is worried and so am i for her.

Well, good thing she's gat a sweet motherinlaw cos I don't see any ill intentions towards her from your post. She's just a loving mother taking care of her son, who knows how long it took for her to conceive him. Research has it that 'only child' has the tendencies to be spoilt by their folks and as such it makes it pretty hard for them to hussle. Now, about the introduction/ wedding, it's goin to be difficult for her to stop her motherinlaw cos she's already living with her fiance in the house she paid for. 'l suggest she talks to her fiance and make him see reasons why he should take care of his responsibilities cos he's no longer a kid, this should be done lovingly.

Slimyem i understand ur worries abt ur friend. The question i av 4u is dis. Does ur friend understand it d way u do. If she does and she wants to go ahead wt it then she should be ready to work hard to save her marriage. Because there no way d guy's mother wil not influence things in their affair.

I know the damn bytch will get sucked into the marriage, as long as money involved - then cry later, and spam NL's romance section with her useless tales of how men are wicked.. Go ahead, and marry mum's little boy - and don't blame anyone for sharing your overgrown baby, with his mum..

cowgurl: Well, good thing she's gat a sweet motherinlaw cos I don't see any ill intentions towards her from your post. She's just a loving mother taking care of her son, who knows how long it took for her to conceive him. Research has it that 'only child' has the tendencies to be spoilt by their folks and as such it makes it pretty hard for them to hussle. Now, about the introduction/ wedding, it's goin to be difficult for her to stop her motherinlaw cos she's already living with her fiance in the house she paid for. 'l suggest she talks to her fiance and make him see reasons why he should take care of his responsibilities cos he's no longer a kid, this should be done lovingly.

i thing she's a loving mother-in-law with no ill intentions whatsoever in this case.
...and no,she's not living with him!
Now,how do you talk to a 30-year old man about how he is no longer a kid and is supposed to take care of his responsiblities?
You think he doesnt know that already?
You think that's gon effect the desired change straight-up?

Hassan11: Slimyem i understand ur worries abt ur friend. The question i av 4u is dis. Does ur friend understand it d way u do. If she does and she wants to go ahead wt it then she should be ready to work hard to save her marriage. Because there no way d guy's mother wil not influence things in their affair.

i don't think she sees things the way i do.
Is she a little worried?
Yes!
But not as much as i am...no!
Chances of her backing out now are low..so i dunno!

slimyem: at least,you understand the cause of my worry...and there's only little i can say to this friend so it doesnt sound like i'm trying to break-up her relationship.
But she's so dear to me and i just dunno what to do.

How old is this fellow ??

I'm worried as well. What? Are they so scared that she might leave him, that they have to trap her with marriage, even though he's still looking to get a balance, monetary wise? My! It's different if things begin to go rough in marriage, but before? Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk. How much help is his momma willing to render, anyway? Are the packages that come after the observance and in the marriage proper, included in her budget as well? Kids and all?

Everyone needs help I know, for smoother transitions from one stage in life to the other. And it'd be wonderful if his mum can really help oust any form of discontinuity. But this is taking help too far and has made it turn adverse, and I soo do not it.

^She's willing to go to any legths to help.
This much i know!
She has a thriving business and ,he's her only child!

pendo89:

How old is this fellow ??

about or around 30..i guess!

cowgurl: Well, good thing she's gat a sweet motherinlaw cos I don't see any ill intentions towards her from your post. She's just a loving mother taking care of her son, who knows how long it took for her to conceive him. Research has it that 'only child' has the tendencies to be spoilt by their folks and as such it makes it pretty hard for them to hussle. Now, about the introduction/ wedding, it's goin to be difficult for her to stop her motherinlaw cos she's already living with her fiance in the house she paid for. 'l suggest she talks to her fiance and make him see reasons why he should take care of his responsibilities cos he's no longer a kid, this should be done lovingly.

A responsible man must be able to fend for himself.

A wise mother would encourage the son to go build his own empire so that he can learn the virtues of hardwork

These soft dudes end up very miserable when the money tap dries up because they can't put their heads and hands to use.
They dont know the tricks and how to do stuff becaue mummy has been doing it for them!
It's not about providence here.Its learning how to be a responsible hardworking man that can take care of a family and kids.
And that you learn through practice not theory.

slimyem: i thing she's a loving mother-in-law with no ill intentions whatsoever in this case.
...and no,she's not living with him!
Now,how do you talk to a 30-year old man about how he is no longer a kid and is supposed to take care of his responsiblities?
You think he doesnt know that already?
You think that's gon effect the desired change straight-up?

Yeah, I think the 30 yr old baby doesn't 'know' his responsibilities yet and No, talking with him is not gonna effect the desired change straight-up, it's just gonna give ur friend a sense of direction whether to continue with mummy boy or not!

I believe ur friend is not 12 year old except you telling me she's already said yes to the plans and now looking for a way out since his job thingy isn't coming as fast as she thought, trust me this is gonna b difficult.

And to answer your question about what kind of husband he's gonna be if she ends up marrying him,
He's still going to be dependent on his mum if ur friend do not stamp her feet down now, for Chris' sake, this is her marriage as well she needs to have a say in it.

slimyem: i don't think she sees things the way i do.
Is she a little worried?
Yes!
But not as much as i am...no!
Chances of her backing out now are low..so i dunno!

ok. I guess she might b having a feeling dat u ar jealous and dat wil not give u enough chance for u to advice her. But i suggest u ask some1 close to her who is married to do dat . As I see it d problem here is not d mother in-law. But d guy himself. She needs to work on her guy and take her tym and not to yield to any pressure from them.