NewStats: 3,262,856 , 8,178,374 topics. Date: Tuesday, 03 June 2025 at 08:13 PM x136i

franchasng:
In pure traditional Igbo culture as practiced in the past, marriage is not a childsplay.


Before a man marries a lady, the elders of his family do embark on spiritual journey to make findings about the woman he intends to marry and her true family background.


Some families will never be wealthy. Some men will never be rich or wealthy, some will depend on others to survive, that is how their chi programmed their life. So for such men, his family elders do embark on a spiritual journey to unravel the background of the girl be intends to marry, if they carry same destiny or fate in life, the marriage will be aborted to save their future and that of their unborn kids from untold hardship and sufferings.


Instead the family elders will then look for a girl from a family with success or wealth trait or fake or destiny to get a wife for the man to help his own destiny. That was how marriage was done in the past in Igbo land but today youths marry anyhow in the name of love without consultations.


Some family carry the fate or destiny of untimely death too and people foolishly go into such families to marry without due consultations and when the consequences come, they start crying.


Marriage is not a childsplay.


To all single ladies and guys reading, dont marry anyhow oh. Dont just marry because what you are seeing physically oh, make some spiritual consultations through your Pastor if he is truly ordained and spiritually carried or through your native tradition. Don't marry anyhow to avoid plunging your life to a perpetual misery

most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

when the marriage was knew i complained a lot it got to the extent 200naira was a big money that i have to start begging my mum to eat
it was then i pick up and double my hustle

I would have said OP is exaggerating if I didn't have an aunt that married a man EXACTLY like this. She slumped and died at the age of 42 leaving 2 young teenagers behind. There are so many irresponsible men like this out there yet they'll come online to diminish women's efforts, claim they're the ones paying all the bills and women are leeches. That's why I will continue to say it that Nigerian men are 100% worse than the women they constantly criticize

SouthAmericalif:


most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

Its sad, I understand.


You made the mistake from the start.

Marriage is not a childsplay the way youths of our time make it to look. They think it's all about I love him, I love her, he looks handsome, she looks beautiful, he has a good job now or she is working now. Family background check is very important before marrying anybody. Physical and spiritual consultations are very important too to reveal what the ordinary eyes cannot see about the person and to check if you guys have same negative destiny or fate in life.


You guys might not have same star, this is another reason many marriages fail without people knowing.


Some families carry untimely death in their bloodline as a result of what their forefathers or kindred committed.


Some families, their women carry some negative spirit that makes it hard for them to give birth or even give birth alive.


Some families carry poverty and struggles in their bloodline. Some carry riches and fortune.


These things exist but we tend to water them down or ignore them but they exist and decide the fate of many people and marriages

I think that man is just waiting for you to die so he can inherit all you have.

Don't kill yourself in the name of marriage.
Na who dey alive dey tell story.

Ahmed0336:
I think that man is just waiting for you to die so he can inherit all you have.

Don't kill yourself in the name of marriage.
Na who dey alive dey tell story.

hmmm this one hit me

All this sob story is to Garner sympathy here shebi,hahaha and as usual the regular folks will fall for it and pump you full with the sympathy nau huh,my friend leave your marriage if you want to leave and stop making a fuss on social network site's,you say your neighbor's just dey fight you for no reason and your "lazy" husband (as you describe o) never ever interferes shebi,it could be (not saying it is a must o) that you are actually the instigator of those quarrels,madam leave if you want to leave and seek that "great path" that you are seeing "outside", nobody advised you to marry for nairaland so nobody should also advise you to leave that "finished marriage" for this nairaland also.
No VEX say I dey very blunt o,na so I be,I nor dey sweettalk anything for anybody o, because that na wrong thing to do,but just prepare to face a very hard process for life because no decision is actually easy and nowhere actually good.your husband na lazy useless husband and you are not also entirely honest with your "super story" tale..

You marry at 26 without dating?

SouthAmericalif:


most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

when the marriage was knew i complained a lot it got to the extent 200naira was a big money that i have to start begging my mum to eat
it was then i pick up and double my hustle

you married at 26yrs without dating? what happened? what was this man doing before you married him? you mean you didn't see any red flags at all

SouthAmericalif:


i am not quarreling or fighting with him, i feel depressed and stressed each ing day and he is not making it easy for me , i am not asking him to fight for me but as a man there are some measures you put in place to protect your family especially when you know i can never do anyone wrong but he is always mute to every thing and am carry too much burden that i can’t take care of myself my blood pressure is high and it has never been this high.
He should care for himself and i will do same if he doesn’t give me a valid reason to come back and not this house we are presently in then i will let the marriage go.
He knew fully well i didn’t sleep all through the night and it has never happened before but is 5:30am he is sleeping very soundly. It’s very easy to please me but i don’t think he has a heart.

Do you people communicate at all? Do you pour out your heart to him and he doesn't do anything? Because you sound like you want him to read your mind and it's not possible. Do you people know about marriage counsellors? Why not try to salvage your marriage instead of running away. Communicate for God's sake!!!! The man is not abusive. What do women truly want sef

SouthAmericalif:


i am not quarreling or fighting with him, i feel depressed and stressed each ing day and he is not making it easy for me , i am not asking him to fight for me but as a man there are some measures you put in place to protect your family especially when you know i can never do anyone wrong but he is always mute to every thing and am carry too much burden that i can’t take care of myself my blood pressure is high and it has never been this high.
He should care for himself and i will do same if he doesn’t give me a valid reason to come back and not this house we are presently in then i will let the marriage go.
He knew fully well i didn’t sleep all through the night and it has never happened before but is 5:30am he is sleeping very soundly. It’s very easy to please me but i don’t think he has a heart.

I think you are stressing yourself emotionally over the whole issue. You need a new house, just do it.

SouthAmericalif:


most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

when the marriage was knew i complained a lot it got to the extent 200naira was a big money that i have to start begging my mum to eat
it was then i pick up and double my hustle

@KennycruzIsla also comes to mind.
Hmmm. The question is, why do good women like you always end up with wrong men?

This is the kind of women most men would love to marry.
If all you said is true, I can't say you divorce him but you obviously need a break for now, go find another place to cool yourself alone and refresh, giving him time to also rethink his life.
Then you seem like someone who's easily affected by manipulations and what people say.
Women like you deserve commendation, so you've done nothing wrong, if you allow wicked people manipulate your emotions, then you'll disappoint me.
Go find a good place to refresh your life for now, where noise from wicked people can not reach you.
Your health and safety is important, the world can't afford to lose another good woman like you right now.

SouthAmericalif:


most of my childhood friends that seniors me are single and have started envying them from last night.
Everyone is complaining that i have lost so much weight from the last time they saw me before my marriage
several people have said it in his present and he is not saying anything about it

when the marriage was knew i complained a lot it got to the extent 200naira was a big money that i have to start begging my mum to eat
it was then i pick up and double my hustle

I think you should just leave him. The man seems like an unambitious person. Go and leave with your mother and children. You go dey ok.

SouthAmericalif:


thank you sir for your candid advice
i have reported my neighbors to the landlord because he doesn’t stay in same compound and after warning them dey stay clear from me for 3days and started last night, they doing this so we can pack out and then give the house to another person and eat agent fees
the car keke and machine after been packed for years i sold it then for small money.
it was last december i started studying rigidly online and found out ways to invest by myself for myself january i started tbills and mutual funds and ok with it than wasting money for 8years i can no longer partner again we did okrika business it failed where buying from togo.

Please of you don't mind... What exactly did the neighbour say was your offence? And what does she demand from you? Or she just randomly calls you names without provocation?

I strongly believe you have developed anxiety and depression. If you can do this, I suggest you go any general Hospital and see a psychologist. It will do you a lot of good.

U have to leave that compound asap n there's possibility that ur man is befriending one of ur neighbours, spend few week wit ur friend or mum... dump his ass n for ur neighbours, u can get them arrested n warned. Ur mental health is very important n u also need a matured person u can talk to, your mum or someone from ur family too. Na real Gee you be. Not all these urgent 2k girls. May bless you more

franchasng:
In pure traditional Igbo culture as practiced in the past, marriage is not a childsplay.


Before a man marries a lady, the elders of his family do embark on spiritual journey to make findings about the woman he intends to marry and her true family background. The woman's family too also embark on their own physical and spiritual findings after the man makes his intention to marry their daughter known.


Some families will never be wealthy. Some men will never be rich or wealthy, some will depend on others to survive, that is how their chi programmed their life. So for such men, his family elders do embark on a spiritual journey to unravel the background of the girl he intends to marry, if they carry same negative destiny or fate in life, the marriage will be aborted to save their future and that of their unborn kids from untold hardship and sufferings.


Instead the family elders will then look for a girl from a family with success or wealth trait or fate or destiny, whatever you call it, to get a wife for the man to help his own destiny. That was how marriage was done in the past in Igbo land but today youths marry anyhow in the name of love without consultations.


Some family carry the fate or destiny of untimely death too and people foolishly go into such families to marry without due consultations and when the consequences come, they start crying.


Marriage is not a childsplay.


To all single ladies and guys reading, dont marry anyhow oh. Dont just marry because of what you are seeing physically at the moment, make some spiritual consultations through your Pastor if he is truly ordained and spiritually carried or through your native tradition. Don't marry anyhow to avoid plunging your life to a perpetual misery

do you mean pre-destination is real? What about free choice?

Ahmed0336:
I think that man is just waiting for you to die so he can inherit all you have.

Don't kill yourself in the name of marriage.
Na who dey alive dey tell story.

Gbammm

Karleb:
You marry at 26 without dating?

Desperation

Gotocourt:


Desperation

Why should a lady be desperate at 26?

I can't pity such a person.

WantsandMore:
do you mean pre-destination is real? What about free choice?

Don't let anyone deceive you, there is predestined life but you still have the opportunity to fight it out if you can fight the spiritual battle.


All humans have a predestined life but you still have a chance to fight it out and change your destiny if you have the fighting spirit to do so.


Even Bible recorded this when God said; "I will bless whom I will bless".


Also go and read about Jabez in the Bible.

Let me stop here for now

franchasng:
Don't let anyone deceive you, there is predestined life but you still have the opportunity to fight it out if you can fight the spiritual battle.


All humans have a predestined life but you still have a chance to fight it out and change your destiny if you have the fighting spirit to do so.


Even Bible recorded this when God said; "I will bless whom I will bless".


Also go and read about Jabez in the Bible.

Let me stop here for now

interesting. How does anyone gets on the good side of life?

dominique:
I would have said OP is exaggerating if I didn't have an aunt that married a man EXACTLY like this. She slumped and died at the age of 42 leaving 2 young teenagers behind. There are so many irresponsible men like this out there yet they'll come online to diminish women's efforts, claim they're the ones paying all the bills and women are leeches. That's why I will continue to say it that Nigerian men are 100% worse than the women they constantly criticize

My own is still alive, but bent with receding hairline. I am sure when they were dating, she was convinced she is different from materialistic women and she can handle it in the long run.

I no get advice for her. Make logical people defend and advise her. One of them say they are ing her. They should add it money to relieve her stress. She is a good woman. Good women need all kind of .

dominique:
I would have said OP is exaggerating if I didn't have an aunt that married a man EXACTLY like this. She slumped and died at the age of 42 leaving 2 young teenagers behind. There are so many irresponsible men like this out there yet they'll come online to diminish women's efforts, claim they're the ones paying all the bills and women are leeches. That's why I will continue to say it that Nigerian men are 100% worse than the women they constantly criticize

This one’s a mod, yet, caps shiiit and aimlessly.

Dude, how did you arrive at the conclusion that “Nigerian Men” are worse than the women?

Like you’re referring to all of them — Even the one you’re dating/married to, brother and your dad are worse too? — Learn how to choose your words and talk and stop yapping like a low-budget nnewi chimamanda cum ariaria market woman.

oz4real83:
This is exactly what most married men go through, they carry all family responsibilities, whether the women are working or not, and yet they don't threaten to leave the marriage all because the wives are not making financial contributions to the marriage. . A woman is doing what most men have always done, she complains and wants to leave the marriage . May God bless our men.

she complains because the man is not productive,he failed severally despite the assistant given to him by the wife,he is lazy,no woman likes a lazy man.

WantsandMore:
interesting. How does anyone gets on the good side of life?

You work for it.


What I am trying to bring to people's awareness is the fact that life is beyond physical, there is spiritual side of life which most times controls the physical life.


When you sort out your spiritual life, then your physical life can produce result based on your input but when you still have a spiritual baggage like some bloodline or family line spiritual baggage, it will continue to hamper your physical efforts and they won't produce the needed results like those with no spiritual baggage in life

Blazebond:
All this sob story is to Garner sympathy here shebi,hahaha and as usual the regular folks will fall for it and pump you full with the sympathy nau huh,my friend leave your marriage if you want to leave and stop making a fuss on social network site's,you say your neighbor's just dey fight you for no reason and your "lazy" husband (as you describe o) never ever interferes shebi,it could be (not saying it is a must o) that you are actually the instigator of those quarrels,madam leave if you want to leave and seek that "great path" that you are seeing "outside", nobody advised you to marry for nairaland so nobody should also advise you to leave that "finished marriage" for this nairaland also.
No VEX say I dey very blunt o,na so I be,I nor dey sweettalk anything for anybody o, because that na wrong thing to do,but just prepare to face a very hard process for life because no decision is actually easy and nowhere actually good.your husband na lazy useless husband and you are not also entirely honest with your "super story" tale..

Void of common sense and firing from all your holes while claiming “blunt” — Tueeeh, I pour you spit.

With your unintelligible English, You have rushed to conclude it’s a super story without proof.

Work on your English and punctuation first defore rushing to yapp and advise someone.

franchasng:
Don't let anyone deceive you, there is predestined life but you still have the opportunity to fight it out if you can fight the spiritual battle.


All humans have a predestined life but you still have a chance to fight it out and change your destiny if you have the fighting spirit to do so.


Even Bible recorded this when God said; "I will bless whom I will bless".


Also go and read about Jabez in the Bible.

Let me stop here for now

you can't change what has been predestined,
It's has been programmed spiritually and it must manifest physically.

Maitunbi:

Do you people communicate at all? Do you pour out your heart to him and he doesn't do anything? Because you sound like you want him to read your mind and it's not possible. Do you people know about marriage counsellors? Why not try to salvage your marriage instead of running away. Communicate for God's sake!!!! The man is not abusive. What do women truly want sef

Another low-budget alfa mail devoid of common sense — Who doesn’t know that abuse can be emotional and not just only physical.

Celestialsword:
you can't change what has been predestined,
It's has been programmed spiritually and it must manifest physically.

You can.

You can set out on a journey to Abuja from Benin city, your predestination is to get to Abuja. But while on the journey, maybe near Okene, you hear that Terrorists have taken over Abuja, and you divert your journey, that's how it works.


A flight can be predestined to New York from Lagos and while en route it crashes near London and not get to its destination due to engine failure. Some flights do get diverted to another destination because of bad weather.


Another example.

A young man might start to live a reckless life and in the process becomes an armed robber. And in one of his gang's robbery missions, they invade a family and he decides to kill all of the family and in their dying state one of them lay a curse on him that his family will suffer untimely death forever.

Decades later the man's family starts to suffer untimely death of all sorts. If one of his children or grandchildren embarks on a spiritual journey and finds out the source of his or her family untimely death issue and makes spiritual supplication or sacrifice or retribution to be exempted, that child will be exempted from that curse of his or her bloodline.


Predestination can be changed to a new destination but it's not an easy thing to do.

franchasng:
You can.

You can set out on a journey to Abuja from Benin city, your predestination is to get to Abuja. But while on the journey, maybe near Okene, you hear that Terrorists have taken over Abuja, and you divert your journey, that's how it works.you are missing the point here,all what happened to a man is predestined, wheather changes or transformation occurs during life stage.It is not static


A flight can be predestined to New York from Lagos and while en route it crashes near London and not get to its destination due to engine failure. Some flights do get diverted to another destination because of bad weather.


Another example.

A young man might start to live a reckless life and in the process becomes an armed robber. And in one of his gang's robbery missions, they invade a family and he decides to kill all of the family and in their dying state one of them lay a curse on him that his family will suffer untimely death forever.

Decades later the man's family starts to suffer untimely death of all sorts. If one of his children or grandchildren embarks on a spiritual journey and finds out the source of his or her family untimely death issue and makes spiritual supplication or sacrifice or retribution to be exempted, that child will be exempted from that curse of his or her bloodline.


Predestination can be changed to a new destination but it's not an easy thing to do.

i am still here updating because i need to speak out and learn from others by picking out the positive comments to encourage my self and not to think much while adjusting to a new life
Finally arrive my mum place,woke up my daughter early gave her few of my stuff to take to my mum before my neighbor woke up
while she was away my hubby woke up and i confronted him for peace talk and told why i am angry and he slept with out considering me
he got up and walk away with out saying a word.clean up make sure my daughter eat then i came out freely not knowing my neighbors where waiting for me to come, after a year today this girl greeted me the mother followed me outside that the landlord is very angry with them begged me to call the landlord that we have settled i told her ok and left.she is settling with me after causing my marriage.