NewStats: 3,262,151 , 8,176,243 topics. Date: Sunday, 01 June 2025 at 12:47 AM 182e3r

I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

It's complex but all I can say is: If you can afford it , do it. Let him have it if it is within your means.

You even try. I dont send my father one kobo and the day he asks me for money eh, lemme not even talk

tensazangetsu20:
You even try. I dont send my father one kobo and the day he asks me for money eh, lemme not even talk

U wicked ooo

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

Honestly, you did the right thing. I would have done the same, if I was in your shoes.

Lordbinsmar:


U wicked ooo

zarathustra:
It's complex but all I can say is: If you can afford it , do it. Let him have it if it is within your means.

Take this ..

Tomorrow is what no one knows .. do it for the sake of humanity and God .

More blessings

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

You are not wrong...he doesn't deserve it..let him hustle to take care of his new fine..he wasn't willing to go above and beyond for you but focused on himself.

One thing I have seen in this life which I hate is a family where one of the sibling get pregnant for a nonentity and wants struggling sibling who are laser focused on fighting poverty start placing request on siblings or a father who lived a reckless life and when health challenges arise start stressing his children who are trying to get a firm footing in life.

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

Don't do more than you are already doing for him.

I'd advice you withdraw the cash and set it on fire rather than giving it to an irresponsible adult.

Don't reward bad behavior, please I'm begging you.

People will guilt trip you here but don't panic.

When you needed him most, he made the decision not to you his child in his right senses, which simply means he doesn't love you. Now that he needs you, reciprocate the gesture.

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

Dont break ur bank for him.if u can afford it do it.Dont go broke trying to maintain his lifestyle so he still looks rich.M having same issue wit my dad.

It takes being exposed to understand situations. Exposure makes you enter different terrains and grasped a lot of knowledge.

It is this that has made me overcome any form of antipathy for my parents - whether good or bad.

Exposure and knowledge will make you build empathy. Because it's only empathy that can can make you not treat someone badly, the way they have treated you.

It is empathy that will make you turn your left cheek when someone slap you on the right cheek.

Strong empathy is rooted in deep knowledge. And it is as a result of not allowing your pains and suffering to becloud you and become vicious.

Those not consumed by their suffering and won't allow themselves to be a conduit or tool in the hand of the devil in seeking for revenge are God's people (this is not about religion. Hope the reader will understand).

Our parents acted based on their limited scope of knowledge. They acted the way they deem fit and thought that their actions whether good or bad won't be detrimental to their well-being and family. They acted based on ignorance.

There are still some decisions my parents will advise me to take. I don't. Because I know they are talking from a standpoint of the 20th century. It doesn't mean that everything they say is foolish. But as a more exposed individual I have to weigh their suggestions in the light of the 21st century.

Hanlon's Razor: don't attribute to malice what's as a result of stupidity.

Please, man, forgive your father and have full peace. At least, you are at a point where you can take good care of yourself and family. If not for anything, but for the little good things he has done for you as a child.

He is your father. You can't change that fact.

Tell your father, how he failed you and his nuclear family. Pour your heart outside. Let him know your height of disappointment in him. Perhaps, he may be remorseful and ask for forgiveness.

However, whatever you know you can do for him that won't bring you problem, regrets, and setbacks, do it.

Buy him a car if you can. Give him allowances if you can.

You are already far from him. So irregardless of his actions, it can't get to you. Even though he decides to persists in his ways.

This is not to guilt trip you. You can do as it pleases you. No big deal. Your attitude toward him is reasonable.

But you are doing it because you are now wiser and bigger than your father.

Don't allow 1 error to erase 99 good.

Thanks.

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

Hmmm... I understand how you feel brother. Many if us had such relationship with our fathers.

But pls, God has blessed you already and will continue to do that... Forgive the past and give him what he wants if you have the means.

I am happy your mum is alive to enjoy the fruit of her labour on you... That's all that matters!

There's something fundamentally wrong with polygamists men; it's their belief that they can eat their cake in their youth and still have it in their old age.

Your dad is a quintessential polygamist who can't give his all to his children but expects the world from them. What a selfish pr1ck!

Do not give him anything more than what you're already giving him, afterall, he too didn't break a sweat for you.

I hate nonsense!

I'm the one who liked the post right above me.

Op, ask your mum what you should do in this case of buying him a car.

Anything she prescribes is what you should do.

Don't stress yourself nor feel guilt, do whatever you feel comfortable doing for him without enabling his sense of entitlement.

It is your call.

Damn! This is a whole lot. Your thoughts are valid.
Don’t let anyone guilt trip you tho. You are well within your rights to treat him with resentment.

As much as u might not want to agree with this view of mine, I feel it's a possibility, and it's that, his nonchalant attitude, even though, shouldn't be encourage, was what fueled ur zeal to reach ur present height. Had it been he made it all rosy 4 u from d get go, chances are, u might not av d motivation 2 achieve ur present accomplishment as u likely would av relax since it was all coming 2 u on a platter of gold, but his not-so-good act was what likely acted and serve as motivation 4 u.

On d actual suggestion u seek. If u know granting his request wouldn't affect ur finance or budget, why not just grant him instead? Not cos he deserved it according 2 ur feeling abt him, but cos it's right thing 2 do. Take it or leave it, he is still ur Dad. Yes, he made some mistakes in time past which he is already paying 4, just bury d hatchet at ur end nd let his conscience handle d rest.

U need 2 forgive him, not cos he deserved it, but cos u deserved peace. If it requires u putting a call through 2 him 2 let off all that he did nd how it affected nd hurt ur person, please, kindly do it. I'm pretty sure he would seek ur forgiveness which would mk u forgiving him more easier.

God has already vindicate u, so why not let bygone be bygone?

Well, to be fair to you...


It's your money... You can spend it how you want!

Now that u know what crippled ur father financially,be careful not to t start financing his lifestyle again.

It would hurt u.

Wise up brother.

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

Don’t even answer him. You’ve done too much for him already. If na me , him for no see shishi for my hand

Karleb:


Don't do more than you are already doing for him.

I'd advice you withdraw the cash and set it on fire rather than giving it to an irresponsible adult.

Don't reward bad behavior, please I'm begging you.

People will guilt trip you here but don't panic.

When you needed him most, he made the decision not to you his child in his right senses, which simply means he doesn't love you. Now that he needs you, reciprocate the gesture.

Thank you for this comment. A loving father should be able to rise for his child/ children, at least where we know he can handle it, like in the OPs case. Doing otherwise shows he doesn’t love them. @ OP, no stress yourself, let him take care of himself. My happiness is that your mother is enjoying the fruits of her labor

ibechris:
Now that u know what crippled ur father financially,be careful not to t start financing his lifestyle again.

It would hurt u.

Wise up brother.

Make OP papa no go use more money marry third wife o

I hope men will learn from this story for the sake of their old age.

ibechris:
Now that u know what crippled ur father financially,be careful not to t start financing his lifestyle again.

It would hurt u.

Wise up brother.

I share a similar thought. I am almost certain that all those demands are coming from the second wife, only being channelled through Op's father.

amazinghands:
■ Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.
Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.
Am I in the wrong here?

LOok, the worst thing you would do to yourself is allowed any blood relative — be it your father or mother — to emotionally blackmail you into going against your very own conscience and desires on their behalf.

If you no wan buy your papa a car, it is perfectly OK not to want to do that. If you no wan to fund his excesses or go above and beyond for him, it is also perfectly OK. Na parents dey owe their children something for this life. Children doing for their parents afterward is something that ought to come from the heart instead.

Use this opportunity rather to learn from your father's mistakes, save up so you can do better with your kids and they will in turn reward you for your efforts from their heart when the time comes. Also, make sure to save for your retirement so you don't end up a heavy burden on your children as your father is attempting to become to you.

Klass99:
I find it interesting that most of the commenters above me are men with similar daddy issues. As in, sons and fathers not getting along well, sons treating their mothers better and not wanting to help their fathers.

The same men will open their mouths waaa tomorrow to say marriage does not benefit men, men get neglected in old age, only women/mothers are looked after and only they get to travel, blah, blah, blah.

Meanwhile sons are the ones neglecting fathers and actively participating in this narrative they push out about men being neglected and marriage not benefiting men. Men doing men!

They talk from both sides of their mouths or should I say all sides of their mouths, never taking a stance and always being all over the place. Today it is ABC, tomorrow it is XYZ, next tomorrow it is KLM and they say they are logical.

Thank you! By next week they would blame women, feminism and our vaginas for the way they treat their fathers.

I have noticed this pattern offline and online!
It is always them against their fathers in very dangerous way. That is why I laugh at the ones that claim they don't want daughters because of one video of olosho. But they look the other way when it is a video of rapìsts, robbers, kidnappers, militants, bandits and drug traffickers.

This one was trained from primary to university. His anger is he wasn't sponsored abroad. Are his siblings in America? Abi na only am the papa born?

His father married second wife, ehen?
Are men not wired to be polygamous? If his mother was a virtuous woman that gave the father peace of mind, why would the father pursue women outside? 😏😏😏

Ndi logic.

zarathustra:
It's complex but all I can say is: If you can afford it , do it. Let him have it if it is within your means.

I wonder how you guys think.

amazinghands:
I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was itted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got itted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family , my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the .

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?

See the difference between a mother and many fathers.

He reaps what he …

Don’t allow him to guilt trip you.

Your father na wa for him o! He makes money and the next thing he thinks of is to go marry another woman instead of investing in his kids. Now money don finish and he's looking for entitlement to own a car.
Just know that money you're spending on your father, you're indirectly spending on his second wife.
Abeg concentrate on your mum and make sure she gets the best.

Nonsense and polygamy