NewStats: 3,262,347 , 8,176,893 topics. Date: Sunday, 01 June 2025 at 10:06 PM 4k4224

hi everybody, i created a topic earlier asking how i could politely tell my fiance that i don't want court wedding , thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate. I've decided to go for the prenup option, from your advice I've come to realize that doing the court marriage is the best , not for the sake of traveling because I've been traveling for short stay in and out of the country for quite some times.
https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7519526/how-tell-fiancee-dont-want

My question now is , is it possible to determine what a women gets for child and alimony in the prenup if there's divorce. I love her and i trust her, i just don't want to make the mistake just incase she changes when we finally settle down in a western country. I've heard of many men paying outrageous amount on child .

I know the prenup takes care of what the property and cash but does it also takes care of alimony and child ?

Is there a system or a legal document where the man could voluntary decide what he wishes to pay his wife and voluntarily decide what to pay for child ?

I appreciate your comments, and please don't judge me, i'm just trying to be careful and as much as i wish for an ever lasting marriage yet Change is the only constant in life...

No, Op such doesn't exist in the west;if in any case of divorce, when your source of Income is being looked at, about 50% or 70% of what you earned will be given to your wife and kid/s as spousal ... Even though she signs the prenup.. During divorce or court cases to secure for spousal , she can say she was mentally ill when she signed for the prenup; trust me if you guys are in the west,the whole game will be tossed against you as a man..

I'll advice you to keep her here in Nigeria,send her monthly Income for the kids,(and also go for DNA test before you start taking responsibility of your child/ren...

Though(as per body no be firewood) she might be fvking other guys, but I think that is better than loosing your properties and money in the name of marriage...

Your money and properties are the only things that can be loyal to you as a man.. If you need loyalty from a living thing, Get a dog.

The west is all about women and children..



MGTOW!

U get vawulence oooo....

If u are abroad, Child is based on how much u earn, the child's need at the current inflation rate and sometimes the status u have put them.

The court will be the ultimate decider of what is paid in alimony and child not a prenup. The court can decide the prenuptial agreement is unfair to one party.

You wouldn’t have to pay alimony unless your wife doesn’t work, or there’s a huge disparity in your incomes. With child , as long as you get t custody, you wouldn’t have to pay much or pay at all, the court may give you certain financial roles in the children lives but you won’t have to pay your wife anything.

If you don’t want to pay alimony or child , asides having a prenup, make sure you have a working wife who makes money on the same level as you do. If you are the typical Naija man who likes to be the sole provider, then the court will say she’s accustomed to the lifestyle, now you are a provider to her and her new man until she decides to remarry.

until she decide to remarry... wow

thanks

eazzzy1:
The court will be the ultimate decider of what is paid in alimony and child not a prenup. The court can decide the prenuptial agreement is unfair to one party.

You wouldn’t have to pay alimony unless your wife doesn’t work, or there’s a huge disparity in your incomes. With child , as long as you get t custody, you wouldn’t have to pay much or pay at all, the court may give you certain financial roles in the children lives but you won’t have to pay your wife anything.

If you don’t want to pay alimony or child , asides having a prenup, make sure you have a working wife who makes money on the same level as you do. If you are the typical Naija man who likes to be the sole provider, then the court will say she’s accustomed to the lifestyle, now you are a provider to her and her new man until she decides to remarry.

apparently there's no way out of these thing if it happens..

thanks

Nyascobar1414:
No, Op such doesn't exist in the west;if in any case of divorce, when your source of Income is being looked at, about 50% or 70% of what you earned will be given to your wife and kid/s as spousal ... Even though she signs the prenup.. During divorce or court cases to secure for spousal , she can say she was mentally ill when she signed for the prenup; trust me if you guys are in the west,the whole game will be tossed against you as a man..

I'll advice you to keep her here in Nigeria,send her monthly Income for the kids,(and also go for DNA test before you start taking responsibility of your child/ren...

Though(as per body no be firewood) she might be fvking other guys, but I think that is better than loosing your properties and money in the name of marriage...

Your money and properties are the only things that can be loyal to you as a man.. If you need loyalty from a living thing, Get a dog.

The west is all about women and children..



MGTOW!

segtech68:
hi everybody, i created a topic earlier asking how i could politely tell my fiance that i don't want court wedding , thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate. I've decided to go for the prenup option, from your advice I've come to realize that doing the court marriage is the best , not for the sake of traveling because I've been traveling for short stay in and out of the country for quite some times.
https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7519526/how-tell-fiancee-dont-want

My question now is , is it possible to determine what a women gets for child and alimony in the prenup if there's divorce. I love her and i trust her, i just don't want to make the mistake just incase she changes when we finally settle down in a western country. I've heard of many men paying outrageous amount on child .

I know the prenup takes care of what the property and cash but does it also takes care of alimony and child ?

Is there a system or a legal document where the man could voluntary decide what he wishes to pay his wife and voluntarily decide what to pay for child ?

I appreciate your comments, and please don't judge me, i'm just trying to be careful and as much as i wish for an ever lasting marriage yet Change is the only constant in life...

Prenup don't work in Nigeria

Prenuptial agreement is not ironclad.

1) It does not have anything to do with kid. The kid is a new entity

The law is such that kids get to enjoy same quality lifestyle as the father. If you are a millionaire and you fly first class. Your kid has right to same lifestyle and your ex will use law to milk you dry through the kid.

2) Prenuptial Agreement can be invalidated first. If she claimed she was under duress, she was drunk, you didn't video her while g with a beautiful smile appending her signature to the agreement. Also, if she can prove harm from domestic violence. The Judge and the bailiff will use your prenup paper to wipe your ass and get you for your last cent

Dr Dre had a prenup, he still got owned by the evil system.

we live in women's world then

child is based on what you earn ,hide as much money as you can in offshore ,not saying you should neglect the child but no damn way I'm splitting my money in half

I can't really answer that question

Alright!

Alright

segtech68:
hi everybody, i created a topic earlier asking how i could politely tell my fiance that i don't want court wedding , thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate. I've decided to go for the prenup option, from your advice I've come to realize that doing the court marriage is the best , not for the sake of traveling because I've been traveling for short stay in and out of the country for quite some times.
https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7519526/how-tell-fiancee-dont-want

My question now is , is it possible to determine what a women gets for child and alimony in the prenup if there's divorce. I love her and i trust her, i just don't want to make the mistake just incase she changes when we finally settle down in a western country. I've heard of many men paying outrageous amount on child .

I know the prenup takes care of what the property and cash but does it also takes care of alimony and child ?

Is there a system or a legal document where the man could voluntary decide what he wishes to pay his wife and voluntarily decide what to pay for child ?

I appreciate your comments, and please don't judge me, i'm just trying to be careful and as much as i wish for an ever lasting marriage yet Change is the only constant in life...

Stay in the shithole 3rd world country

No need for all this long epistle

You cannot eat your cake and have it.

So many people want to run to the west for emancipation and yet they want to carry the same culture that made their country a shithole with them

Pick a struggle.

segtech68:
hi everybody, i created a topic earlier asking how i could politely tell my fiance that i don't want court wedding , thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate. I've decided to go for the prenup option, from your advice I've come to realize that doing the court marriage is the best , not for the sake of traveling because I've been traveling for short stay in and out of the country for quite some times.
https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7519526/how-tell-fiancee-dont-want

My question now is , is it possible to determine what a women gets for child and alimony in the prenup if there's divorce. I love her and i trust her, i just don't want to make the mistake just incase she changes when we finally settle down in a western country. I've heard of many men paying outrageous amount on child .

I know the prenup takes care of what the property and cash but does it also takes care of alimony and child ?

Is there a system or a legal document where the man could voluntary decide what he wishes to pay his wife and voluntarily decide what to pay for child ?

I appreciate your comments, and please don't judge me, i'm just trying to be careful and as much as i wish for an ever lasting marriage yet Change is the only constant in life...

In my neck of the woods, there is a structured table of child payments for a child according to age progression. No court will accept a prenup that disadvantages a child south of what the law stipulates.

What you may want to get comfortable with, however, is that you cannot shirk your responsibility towards a child in most western countries. Many men and women had had to become residents of penitentiaries and still have to make these payments or lost substantial societal privileges.

If you are not comfortable with your woman at this time, perhaps, tally a while you sort out where your head belongs on the issue.

Wedding wey you never start, you don Dey talk and plan of divorce, you better be careful of what you wish for. ✌️

Nyascobar1414:
No, Op such doesn't exist in the west;if in any case of divorce, when your source of Income is being looked at, about 50% or 70% of what you earned will be given to your wife and kid/s as spousal ... Even though she signs the prenup.. During divorce or court cases to secure for spousal , she can say she was mentally ill when she signed for the prenup; trust me if you guys are in the west,the whole game will be tossed against you as a man..

I'll advice you to keep her here in Nigeria,send her monthly Income for the kids,(and also go for DNA test before you start taking responsibility of your child/ren...

Though(as per body no be firewood) she might be fvking other guys, but I think that is better than loosing your properties and money in the name of marriage...

Your money and properties are the only things that can be loyal to you as a man.. If you need loyalty from a living thing, Get a dog.

The west is all about women and children..



MGTOW!

Nice write up

But what if he gets (tricks)her to sign a document where it states that in case of divorce, she is only entitled to anything the husband gives to her or she is entitled to nothing as spousal etc?

What if he has a trusted brother or family who will keep everything

Eg.. I have properties in my brother's names etc, and just lil in my name, what happens should there be divorce??

What's all this stress you're putting yourself through.
Then don't get married if you're so bothered about money and property and what your wife gets.

You bringing all these up means you already think to a sizeable extent that the marriage will fail,
what then is the point?

Did you die all these while that you were not married?
It's starting to look like paranoia to me.

If you don't trust her enough, then let her go and move on with your life.
It's pretty simple.

eazzzy1:
The court will be the ultimate decider of what is paid in alimony and child not a prenup. The court can decide the prenuptial agreement is unfair to one party.

You wouldn’t have to pay alimony unless your wife doesn’t work, or there’s a huge disparity in your incomes. With child , as long as you get t custody, you wouldn’t have to pay much or pay at all, the court may give you certain financial roles in the children lives but you won’t have to pay your wife anything.

If you don’t want to pay alimony or child , asides having a prenup, make sure you have a working wife who makes money on the same level as you do. If you are the typical Naija man who likes to be the sole provider, then the court will say she’s accustomed to the lifestyle, now you are a provider to her and her new man until she decides to remarry.

Mostly what you stated here are correct, but child does not depend on t or sole custody. It depends on where the child spends most of their days and the income disparity between both.

If the child spends more days per week with the other party, even if your income is lower than their income, you will be required to pay child to the other party.

The court first decides how much will be set aside from your both combined income for child , next they will determine how many percentage of that amount is due to you versus the other person based on the income disparity..after that, they will use a formula to further prorate the portion of the non custodial parents based on the number of days the child will be spending with them, as you can see there is no way this will result into zero child from non custodial parent to custodial.

t Custody simply means, both of you have equal decision making right toward the kids education, religion, upbringing, etc.

Rather than waste your time on prenups and rhetorical questions surrounding alimony and child , the question you should be asking is what assets do you have? Where are your investments? Logic dictates that you should diversify yourself so that one country's law does not permanently relegate your life!

For example, if you live abroad, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Invest in other countries or set up a business headed by a trust, this way none of the assets are tied to your personal issues. In the end if you must live abroad and you're earning employment income, step into the 21st century and start a business as well. Your business will help offset your personal income tax liabilities and in case of divorce/alimony/child , it will reduce the amount considered as your net income.

Finally, the greatest weapon is wisdom. People change, this is why you don't marry just the person but the family as well. A woman from a good home would not want to lead you into ruins. Similarly if you're from a good home as well, you wouldn't want to maltreat your woman. No prenup or calculative move can substitute for a solid foundation built on love, loyalty, trust and respect; BE WISE!

Nyascobar1414:
No, Op such doesn't exist in the west;if in any case of divorce, when your source of Income is being looked at, about 50% or 70% of what you earned will be given to your wife and kid/s as spousal ... Even though she signs the prenup.. During divorce or court cases to secure for spousal , she can say she was mentally ill when she signed for the prenup; trust me if you guys are in the west,the whole game will be tossed against you as a man..

I'll advice you to keep her here in Nigeria,send her monthly Income for the kids,(and also go for DNA test before you start taking responsibility of your child/ren...

Though(as per body no be firewood) she might be fvking other guys, but I think that is better than loosing your properties and money in the name of marriage...

Your money and properties are the only things that can be loyal to you as a man.. If you need loyalty from a living thing, Get a dog.

The west is all about women and children..



MGTOW!

This is NOT true. I practice family law in the West.
Canada and other countries have child calculation guidelines that are founded on the gross income of the paying parent and the number of children they have.

Child is an automatic obligation paid to WHOEVER has custody or primary residence of the child (ren). This is not always the mother. Spousal is NOT automatic. But normally a spouse (NOT only wife) who is not working and who is financially dependent on the working and more financially secured spouse MAY be entitled to some spousal . Length of marriage and other factors will be relevant considerations.

There is something called equalization of the assets… This is another thing that may come up.

Suffices to say that divorce does NOT favour women automatically as many assume.

Child calculations will depend on CURRENT income. A prenup can’t capture that.

erad:
What's all this stress you're putting yourself through.
Then don't get married if you're so bothered about money and property and what your wife gets.

You bringing all these up means you already think to a sizeable extent that the marriage will fail,
what then is the point?

Did you die all these while that you were not married?
It's starting to look like paranoia to me.

If you don't trust her enough, then let her go and move on with your life.
It's pretty simple.

He only came to seek for an advice and not d gospel according to "erad chapter 1 VS 10"

segtech68:
hi everybody, i created a topic earlier asking how i could politely tell my fiance that i don't want court wedding , thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate. I've decided to go for the prenup option, from your advice I've come to realize that doing the court marriage is the best , not for the sake of traveling because I've been traveling for short stay in and out of the country for quite some times.
https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7519526/how-tell-fiancee-dont-want

My question now is , is it possible to determine what a women gets for child and alimony in the prenup if there's divorce. I love her and i trust her, i just don't want to make the mistake just incase she changes when we finally settle down in a western country. I've heard of many men paying outrageous amount on child .

I know the prenup takes care of what the property and cash but does it also takes care of alimony and child ?

Is there a system or a legal document where the man could voluntary decide what he wishes to pay his wife and voluntarily decide what to pay for child ?

I appreciate your comments, and please don't judge me, i'm just trying to be careful and as much as i wish for an ever lasting marriage yet Change is the only constant in life...

How will you know what amount will be sufficient in the future? Except maybe they use something like percentages I.e a minimum of x % and maximum of y% of monthly income .

You're just accumulating unecessary fears in your life , just because of the bad marriages stories we've been hearing , it doesn't means that there are no good marriages in abroad .

If you decided to leave your wife here and go there alone it's your choice , just as you're enjoying over there she will also be enjoying over here too .

Allow God to direct your paths , don't put your wife in a way that will lead her displeasing God.

we are in the last days... too many fake love every where. i have to be careful of the future. interview one thousand married men today, 90 to 99% percent will tell you they wouldn't have gotten married. Divorce cases flying every corner of the news, why shouldn't i take cautions.

erad:
What's all this stress you're putting yourself through.
Then don't get married if you're so bothered about money and property and what your wife gets.

You bringing all these up means you already think to a sizeable extent that the marriage will fail,
what then is the point?

Did you die all these while that you were not married?
It's starting to look like paranoia to me.

If you don't trust her enough, then let her go and move on with your life.
It's pretty simple.

I beg you with your name.

Leave this lady pls......

Your mindset isn't settled with her so why are you wasting your time.

Tell her you are no longer interested.

Or show her all these topics you've been creating cos of her.

Oghene bikoo!!

Nyascobar1414:
No, Op such doesn't exist in the west;if in any case of divorce, when your source of Income is being looked at, about 50% or 70% of what you earned will be given to your wife and kid/s as spousal ... Even though she signs the prenup.. During divorce or court cases to secure for spousal , she can say she was mentally ill when she signed for the prenup; trust me if you guys are in the west,the whole game will be tossed against you as a man..

I'll advice you to keep her here in Nigeria,send her monthly Income for the kids,(and also go for DNA test before you start taking responsibility of your child/ren...

Though(as per body no be firewood) she might be fvking other guys, but I think that is better than loosing your properties and money in the name of marriage...

Your money and properties are the only things that can be loyal to you as a man.. If you need loyalty from a living thing, Get a dog.

The west is all about women and children..



MGTOW!

Wickedness of the heart is worrying you. She should be kept in Nigeria. What about taking her to overseas.
But if it's the wife that's abroad, you d say she should send for her husband o. And you knew economy there is better.
Fear men.

segtech68:
hi everybody, i created a topic earlier asking how i could politely tell my fiance that i don't want court wedding , thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate. I've decided to go for the prenup option, from your advice I've come to realize that doing the court marriage is the best , not for the sake of traveling because I've been traveling for short stay in and out of the country for quite some times.
https://nairaland.unblockandhide.com/7519526/how-tell-fiancee-dont-want

My question now is , is it possible to determine what a women gets for child and alimony in the prenup if there's divorce. I love her and i trust her, i just don't want to make the mistake just incase she changes when we finally settle down in a western country. I've heard of many men paying outrageous amount on child .

I know the prenup takes care of what the property and cash but does it also takes care of alimony and child ?

Is there a system or a legal document where the man could voluntary decide what he wishes to pay his wife and voluntarily decide what to pay for child ?

I appreciate your comments, and please don't judge me, i'm just trying to be careful and as much as i wish for an ever lasting marriage yet Change is the only constant in life...

The amount is not cast in stone! It will depend on several factors!

erad:
What's all this stress you're putting yourself through.
Then don't get married if you're so bothered about money and property and what your wife gets.

You bringing all these up means you already think to a sizeable extent that the marriage will fail,
what then is the point?

Did you die all these while that you were not married?
It's starting to look like paranoia to me.

If you don't trust her enough, then let her go and move on with your life.
It's pretty simple.

We are equally learning here.

.