NewStats: 3,261,970 , 8,175,708 topics. Date: Saturday, 31 May 2025 at 10:26 AM i4h5b

I came back from the office today only to be told that a couple I know and very close to have dissolved their marriage of 10 years.

The husband sent the wife packing on the ground that the marriage didn't produce a child after many years of waiting!

Is marriage no longer for better for worse again? Are children now the only achievement in marriage?

Barrenness.

Poverty.

Sickness.

The listed can turn a happy home into a boxing ring within a twinkle of eye.

May God no let witness any form of misfortune.
I pray God comfort the both parties.

that's so sad to hear.

mistilink:
I came back from the office today only to be told that a couple I know and very close to have dissolved their marriage of 10 years.
The husband sent the wife packing on the ground that the marriage didn't produce a child after many years of waiting!
Is marriage no longer for better for worse again? Are children now the only achievement in marriage?

Very sad situation but it is not illegal.

The idea that marriage is for better or for worse only holds in the minds of those who buy into that fairy tale.

If she was okay with the idea of a second wife then the marriage would continue. Stop swallowing Panadol for other’s headache.

mistilink:
I came back from the office today only to be told that a couple I know and very close to have dissolved their marriage of 10 years.

The husband sent the wife packing on the ground that the marriage didn't produce a child after many years of waiting!

Is marriage no longer for better for worse again? Are children now the only achievement in marriage?

Shameful thing of a couple
Don't even know the benefits of marriage
Child kor..unless d woman or man do It on purpose or deceive themselves wen entering d marraige

Marriages have ended even for something less than that. You will see a woman with 5 daughters but marriage will still end because of no sons.
Everyone has their own breaking point and limit.
I guess the man's breaking point was years of childlessness
For all you know, the woman may still have a baby before the man.
That's life.
Infertility is a deal breaker for most men and even women

That's very sad OP..
It can only happen when a man sees being a biological father as the main reason for marriage.. and the ability to prove his manhood.. Don't get me wrong it a great feelings but in the absence of that, what then?

I know about three people in Nigeria who adopted instead of going their separate ways..
One waited for 7yrs, when the kids were not forth coming, They couldn't wait any longer so they adopted a boy first who was about 6 months old then, 4yrs later, they adopted a baby girl.. The boy is in SS2 at the moment while the baby girl I have no idea her class.. but they are happy...

Understanding and being on the same page is the key to all these... couple who mingle with intelligent people, who sees the world in a different spectacle can hardly divorce their spouses because of children.. for better or for worse is good when both of them were on the same page.

I think that "for better for worse" phrase should be removed from marriage vows from henceforth because it has done more harm than good to so many people especially women in Africa/Nigeria. It enables and gives ultimate guts and effontery to most especially men to behave anyhow because they feel they are covered by that vow and church doctrine

That was how a distant relative married a man she met in the church in 1998, both of them were workers, for years no kids, this lady went for check up and she was okay and fertile, husband go and do your own rara o, he said he automatically knows he is not the problem, that was how he started broadcasting to anyone that cares to listen that my aunt damaged her womb, her elder sister had to take her to other hospitals and they still said she is very fine o, guy man started beating her then drove her out of the house, that was how the marriage ended.

My aunt, ever the religious fanatic refused to remarry saying it is against the will of God bla bla bla, there is nothing we did not do, she said no believing her horseband will come back to her one day, while the man remarried three times and he still was unable to father a child, as an excuse for his infertility, the foolish man said my aunt cursed him never to have children with other women imagine such nonsense. The story is long but Las Las my aunt died in 2016(diabetes) while the man died in 2018, very sad and annoying

Anytime I her I'm always sad that evil happens to good people, very beautiful curvy woman that wasted her years with an idiot and church belief plus that annoying marriage vow, and she loved children alot

Jovialjune1:
I think that "for better for worse" phrase should be removed from marriage vows from henceforth because it has done more harm than good to so many people especially women in Africa/Nigeria. It enables and gives ultimate guts and effontery to most especially men to behave anyhow because they feel they are covered by that vow and church doctrine

That was how a distant relative married a man she met in the church in 1998, both of them were workers, for years no kids, this lady went for check up and she was okay and fertile, husband go and do your own rara o, he said he automatically knows he is not the problem, that was how he started broadcasting to anyone that cares to listen that my aunt damaged her womb, her elder sister had to take her to other hospitals and they still said she is very fine o, guy man started beating her then drove her out of the house, that was how the marriage ended.

My aunt, ever the religious fanatic refused to remarry saying it is against the will of God bla bla bla, there is nothing we did not do, she said no believing her horseband will come back to her one day, while the man remarried three times and he still was unable to father a child, as an excuse for his infertility, the foolish man said my aunt cursed him never to have children with other women imagine the nonsense. The story is long but Las Las my aunt died in 2016(diabetes) while the man died in 2018, very sad and annoying

Anytime I her I'm always sad that evil happens to good people, very beautiful curvy woman that wasted her years with an idiot and church belief plus that annoying marriage vow, and she loved children alot

hmmm, this is very sad and heart breaking!

Sad

Well it's easy to sit from a distance and judge the action of man without understanding the full details. It may actually not the best decision if it was only on the grounds of childlessness.

Like Jovial June mentioned, I also think the clause of "for better for worse" should be taken off the marital vows. It's a psychological tool that keeps people unnecessarily in bondage even if their lives are threatened. If visions no longer align, then couples should be free to go their separate ways without any form of guilt-tripping.

Having said that, I'll advise anyone to pray he/she is not be put in a situation where his/her faith and patience will be tested....lol.

Forget all those people you see that are over 10, 15 , 20 or 25 years without children. If you understand what they've been through and what they have done out of frustration to get kids , many will be scared to get married..lol... Many have gone against their principles out of frustration. Many times you can only see the smiles on their faces during testimonies after IVF and they will never mention it's IVF especially in Nigeria. I'm just trying to say there's alot of cover-ups, so people should be guided.


I think if one of them is engaging in acts that'll threaten the peace of the other out of frustration and all engagements leads nowhere, it would just be better they partway because not everyone will want to bend their principles because of childbirth. Courtship is just so important

Klass99:


Typical rant, when such men have messed up or nothing is working out for them, they blame the woman who was or is in their life. Did you see that thread where a guy said a prophet told him his wife is the reason he is not progressing?

My classmate from Uni said her hubby was told the same nonsense in some church he went to, they instructed him to stop telling her his plans, if he wants to prosper and succeed.

She slammed him with a divorce and from her food trade business has been paying the bills for their 3 kids. Something she was already doing even while they were married, he was that much of a liability, but my classmate was the problem according to some dimwits.

The breaking point for her was the BS that, she's behind his unproductive and fruitless life and him believing it is true.

I didn't see that thread but I'm not surprised at the blame shifting cos there are so many similar stories like that in marriages

The one that happened to a church member was so funny it was shocking, the husband lost his job and refused to get another one, he then woke up one day and said God has called him to open his own deliverance ministry, he then proceeded to use someone else's compound to startup.

Time went on with no progress as after 3 years, they are still managing that same compound, guy man woke up again one blessed day and said God told him that for God to prosper his ministry, his wife has to quit her job and him full time as the ive and submissive wife she is suppose to be, this is a woman working at SON, shouldering the responsibility of the home and four kids, how are they supposed to fend for themselves in this evil Buhari regime? The woman blatantly refused o, the issue became very serious that they had to involve the pastor and family, of course church people ed her, and as expected his people will him,

Long story short the man left the church saying they evil and thea rebellion of women, he forgot that same Bible that said "wives submit to the husband" and be a "help-meet" also said "a man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel". Last I heard the woman left the vicinity of our church to another area for her peace of mind

You can't just make stuffs up on what goes on in marriages, God help us.

...

mistilink:
I came back from the office today only to be told that a couple I know and very close to have dissolved their marriage of 10 years.

The husband sent the wife packing on the ground that the marriage didn't produce a child after many years of waiting!

Is marriage no longer for better for worse again? Are children now the only achievement in marriage?

These ones even tried to stay for 10 years. A lady I was eyeing at some point got married and was childless in her marriage for 5 years. They broke up and the lady has given birth to a girl for another married man

@Topic: no

However, you can't stop anyone who wants to leave.

honestly speaking the man is very wrong. If the problem is truly Not from him then there is the option of adoption.

mistilink:
I came back from the office today only to be told that a couple I know and very close to have dissolved their marriage of 10 years.

The husband sent the wife packing on the ground that the marriage didn't produce a child after many years of waiting!

Is marriage no longer for better for worse again? Are children now the only achievement in marriage?

yes,

Depending on the couple and their beliefs.

Every couple is different

bukatyne:
@Topic: no

However, you can't stop anyone who wants to leave.

Short and simple.

this is why courtship is very important. before marriage. I told my wife that companionship is the first thing for me, that children will be additional blessing and shouldn't be the only thing in case of delay as I don't like women running from one prayer house to another because of baby. she became suspicious thinking maybe I have issue, she confess after getting pregnant.
Some of these things are suppose to be sorted before marriage but some people will just ignore it until it happens.

Marriage can end on the grounds of whatever deal-breaker the couples decide upon.

culf:
this is why courtship is very important. before marriage. I told my wife that companionship is the first thing for me, that children will be additional blessing and shouldn't be the only thing in case of delay as I don't like women running from one prayer house to another because of baby. she became suspicious thinking maybe I have issue, she confess after getting pregnant.
Some of these things are suppose to be sorted before marriage but some people will just ignore it until it happens.

That was what led to the demise of my favourite actress in Nigeria.. Jenifer Okere Ossai..
The white garment churches used her as an experiment...

Richy4:

That was what led to the demise of my favourite actress in Nigeria.. Jenifer Okere Ossai..
The white garment churches used her as an experiment...

imagine that. very unfortunate. A lot of ladies are not learning from all these and are still falling victims out of desperation.

culf:



imagine that. very unfortunate. A lot of ladies are not learning from all these and are still falling victims out of desperation.

The most annoying part is that the husband is happily married to another woman who probably must have given him so many kids.. life goes on..

Assuming she wasn't an actress, no one would have known that such lady actually walked on this planet..
Now imagine the number of women who must have gone just like her that no one re anymore...

She was way too beautiful and poised to end up like that honestly.. her death was one of those stupid death that made me thank God I wasn't born a woman.. (no disrespect intended... just me being me) It's just a crazy world

mistilink:
I came back from the office today only to be told that a couple I know and very close to have dissolved their marriage of 10 years.

The husband sent the wife packing on the ground that the marriage didn't produce a child after many years of waiting!

Is marriage no longer for better for worse again? Are children now the only achievement in marriage?

When they could have adopted a child, if really that is the problem

..

Klass99:




Your comments remind me of that hot radio talk show Sharing Life Issues which the late Chaz B used to host.

One time he had a female guest on the show who narrated her sojourn for a baby/child as a married woman. I didn't catch her story from the beginning but she said she wasn't proud of herself for the things she had done and places she had gone to, in her quest for a child as a believer/Christian.

I listening to her and silently praying that may I never be in a situation where I seek help from the devil, not for a child, not for money or anything else in this life. She felt so ashamed and embarrassed, she said she won't reveal all the details of what she'd done or where she'd been, on air.

That part of her story I clearly but my memory is a bit foggy though, as to whether she got the child or not. The studio phone lines were ringing off the hook that day and when they breaked for a commercial I didn't keep up with the rest of her story.

I didn't know that was what killed Jennifer Okere Ossai ooo, but a quick Google search confirmed what you said. Na wao.....

Yea Klass, she died an annoying death...
I ed I was very young, just wrote JAMB that yr.. waiting to see if I made it or not..

My cousin brought a magazine to my house.. I can't if it was Hints Or Heart Magazine and threw it at me.. they all knew how I liked that lady so much..I was shocked beyond words..

Klass99:


In fact when I read your post my heart skipped several beats, I tend to mix up some of these actresses and their names so my mind went to Steph-Nora Okere.

I been wan faint because I like Steph Nora a lot and I kept thinking it can't be, Steph is too sensible for such nonsense na.