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Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only - Jobs/Vacancies (3) - Nairaland 252o14

Interview Questions: Dumb Replies Only (15534 Views)

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legendburna: 1:45pm On Oct 04, 2021
Broda shagi's response:
Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?
Ah ahn, Mr interviewer, i am here to repair an helicopter angry
No be you they fine person wey go work?

2. Why Should we Hire You?
Emmm, because i no go fall your hand, in fact ehn when them fire you so i go take over your position.. I will not gree

3. Tell us about yourself?
I like woman i dey straight forward

4. What is your expected salary?
Oga just pay me money...which one be salary again. Them tell you say i be Muslim. I no dey do salah

5. How soon will u start work?
Any time Sir
Infact i can start work yesterday


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin
CJ310(m): 1:59pm On Oct 04, 2021
Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here? I am here because I Dinor make 2:1 in uni

2. Why Should we Hire You? Because the position is actually vacant na

3. Tell us about yourself? I plan to relocate to Canada soon

4. What is your expected salary? I can manage 2m per month but it must come with car and driver o

5. How soon will u start work? My Nysc ends this week, we fit run am next week.


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin

1 Like

BlueBallz: 1:59pm On Oct 04, 2021
BlueBallz: 2:00pm On Oct 04, 2021
CJ310(m): 2:00pm On Oct 04, 2021
grin
BlueBallz: 2:00pm On Oct 04, 2021
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?
You tell me? The same reason you were here, once upon a time

2. Why Should we Hire You?
That's up to you, to tell me?

3. Tell us about yourself?
Why don't we start with you?

4. What is your expected salary?
Go around and ask, I have no expectations

5. How soon will u start work?
I started the moment I knew how to walk
Igbankpa(m): 2:28pm On Oct 04, 2021
Odetokun3:
1. I am here because you told me to come.

2. Because you for vacancy position(s)

3. This is me in front of you. Ask me whatever you care to know about me plus you have my Resume before now sir.

4. Boss, how much you dey collect per month? Comot 2k there. , offer me something around that region. You first me reach here.

5. Where the work make we start abeg. No time
werey grin grin

1 Like

BrainSanitizer: 2:42pm On Oct 04, 2021
Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

2. Why Should we Hire You?

3. Tell us about yourself?

4. What is your expected salary?

5. How soon will u start work?


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin

1. I am here because your office is nicely painted.

2. If you don't, I'll relocate to your house.

3. I am a man with big balls! Isn't that obvious?

4. Tell me what you can afford. Even if I told you what I'm worth, you still bargain anyway.

5. Don't tell me you are planning not to pay me for today?
brownemmanuel43(m): 2:56pm On Oct 04, 2021
ThierryJay:
Lemme try Zlatan's response

1. Why Are You Here? - I wanted to give the Company an automatic facelift, so I came here.

2. Why Should we Hire You? - Because, without me this Company is fired

3. Tell us about yourself? - I am Zlatan, things don't happen to me, I make things happen.

4. What is your expected salary? - Zlatan doesn't do salary, Zlatan earns revenues.

5. How soon will u start work? - I know Work is eager to have me around, but I can wait.

Shey I try small?
U are the man of this thread, I duff my coconut for u
sonsomegrigbo: 3:07pm On Oct 04, 2021
Odetokun3:
1. I am here because you told me to come.

2. Because you for vacancy position(s)

3. This is me in front of you. Ask me whatever you care to know about me plus you have my Resume before now sir.

4. Boss, how much you dey collect per month? Comot 2k there. , offer me something around that region. You first me reach here.

5. Where the work make we start abeg. No time




gringringringringringrin
Kokaine(m): 4:13pm On Oct 04, 2021
Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

2. Why Should we Hire You?

3. Tell us about yourself?

4. What is your expected salary?

5. How soon will u start work?


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin

1. Where should I be?
2. To pay me salaries
3. I thought I already sent my CV?
4. A million.
5. I have started already
Gfskw: 4:19pm On Oct 04, 2021
grin
TeeGentle(m): 4:22pm On Oct 04, 2021
Am here to laugh
blaise26abj(m): 4:44pm On Oct 04, 2021
1. Why Are You Here?
Because you emailed me and asked me to come here. Duh . abi is there another place you want me to be ?

2. Why Should we Hire You?
Because if you don’t , your company’s blood gonna dryyyyyyy!

3. Tell us about yourself?
Bla bla bla …I just completed my Service year with unknown gunmen . By the way I saw the flag outside . angry

4. What is your expected salary?
Since Na “expected” ,I expect to be paid 1 billion naira monthly but e no mean say you fit pay am.


5. How soon will u start work?
Immediately you shut up and type my employment letter


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin[/quote]
BluntCrazeMan: 5:10pm On Oct 04, 2021
Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?

2. Why Should we Hire You?

3. Tell us about yourself?

4. What is your expected salary?

5. How soon will u start work?


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin
1. To work in your company.

2. Because You Need Someone, And I am here Now.

3. All you need to know about me is already in the CV.

4. ₦500k for a start. We can bargain small if you feel like.

5. Now Now Now
OMOJOHN001: 5:19pm On Oct 04, 2021
Preciousgirl:
You are at an interview and the ask you:

1. Why Are You Here?
The same reason you are here.

2. Why Should we Hire You?
You know the reason yourself, stop asking me such QST.

3. Tell us about yourself?
Read my CV or forget about it, No time.

4. What is your expected salary?
The exact amount the GM or MD receive every month

5. How soon will u start work?
As soon as the General manger resume work.


DUMB and FUNNY REPLIES ONLY grin
Nicoddemus(m): 2:26am On Oct 05, 2021
Preciousgirl:


You will hear from us, next angry
grin grin
ComputerOperato: 9:20pm On Oct 05, 2021
Odetokun3:
1. I am here because you told me to come.

2. Because you for vacancy position(s)

3. This is me in front of you. Ask me whatever you care to know about me plus you have my Resume before now sir.

4. Boss, how much you dey collect per month? Comot 2k there. , offer me something around that region. You first me reach here.

5. Where the work make we start abeg. No time

You are too much! I laughed so hard I was shedding tears.
You just made my day especially with that your number 4

1 Like

ComputerOperato: 9:23pm On Oct 05, 2021
lilvicky68:
1) Do you think if I have something doing I will be here?? Mtchewww..

2)It's like you don't know that I've worked as a mad man before.. don't hire me first and see..

3)I can be unpredictable..

4)how much is your company worth?? Give me 5% of it..

5)I've already started like this...

This your number 2 na wa! You go fear fear na!
Security!!!!!
grin grin grin

2 Likes

BloomsJob: 9:18am On Nov 14, 2021
Urgent vacancies
Area and branch Manager
Location: Aba & Umuahia
NOTE: You must have experience in micro finance Bank and only those residing in Aba or Umuahia should apply.

Experience and qualified candidates should Send Cv to : [email protected]
Using the position as the subject of your email

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