NewStats: 3,263,247 , 8,179,538 topics. Date: Thursday, 05 June 2025 at 08:46 AM 384c1p

I AM AN ALIEN , someone help!!!

I am 28yrs old and matured. The problem is that since I was born I only saw my Dad once whom is now late. The issue is that no one has neither sat me down to tell me who is my Dad nor where he came from. Though, I reluctantly thought this issue won’t affect me until I met my dreamlover, (kind of man any woman would wish for herself) and he raised this point and how important my origin could be.
I grew up with my grandparents, I never enjoyed the love and care of a real mother because I was separated from her the moment I sensed sunlight. But thanks to GOD, also my Grandparents that raised and made me who I am today.(May their souls rest in peace)
I have come of age and what i thought wont haunt me is right before me as my lover wants to know my origin, cos I never bothered to ask my people. My aunty once showed me my stepsisters in a picture. The worse part of the story is that my mum never discussed the issue with me neither does she show any remorse on it.
Please, Nairalanders kindly advise me on what to do, where do I start from , who will I ask because I don’t know my origin and no man or rather any parent will accept an alien . PLS, I NEED YOUR CANDID ADVISE ON THIS. God bless my well wishers. Thanks.

Hmmm
sighs
tis serious
scratches head

First, where do you live and what's your race?

Hmm! life is a bitchhh sometimes, too complicated.

Go to [Y-chromosome test] to discover your origin.

Hmm! life is a bitchhh sometimes, too complicated.

Go to [Y-chromosome test] to discover your origin.

Where is ur mother?where is ur aunty?
Where are your grandparents from?

candygurl:

I AM AN ALIEN , someone help!!!

I am 28yrs old and matured. The problem is that since I was born I only saw my Dad once whom is now late. The issue is that no one has neither sat me down to tell me who is my Dad nor where he came from. Though, I reluctantly thought this issue won’t affect me until I met my dreamlover, (kind of man any woman would wish for herself) and he raised this point and how important my origin could be.
I grew up with my grandparents, I never enjoyed the love and care of a real mother because I was separated from her the moment I sensed sunlight. But thanks to GOD, also my Grandparents that raised and made me who I am today.(May their souls rest in peace)
I have come of age and what i thought wont haunt me is right before me as my lover wants to know my origin, cos I never bothered to ask my people. My aunty once showed me my stepsisters in a picture. The worse part of the story is that my mum never discussed the issue with me neither does she show any remorse on it.
Please, Nairalanders kindly advise me on what to do, where do I start from , who will I ask because I don’t know my origin and no man or rather any parent will accept an alien . PLS, I NEED YOUR CANDID ADVISE ON THIS. God bless my well wishers. Thanks.

hmm, op the bold ones have answers to your quest.
meet them and pure your heart to them, they know  you origin.

Where are you currently based ? If in Nigeria --- then with your last name and asking the right questions, you might be able to trace your fathers last name to a village.but first, tell us where in the world you reside right this moment.

Since ur anty is still alive,maybe she'll make d lead,

Candygurl stop whining like a teenager for heaven's sake. Your mother is alive you have an aunty you relate with so why the whining? Sit them down and tell your pains and fears especially about settling down. Tell them to provide you with enough background so that you can tell anyone asking what the score is. Stop behaving like if you have nothing.

if this lover of yours knows your story as you explained it here, then why is he pressuring you for more info.

wetin e wan take your relatives do.

sounds like a pandora's box imo.

anyway, ask your aunty as was pointed out.

tpiah!:

if this lover of yours knows your story as you explained it here, then why is he pressuring you for more info.

wetin e wan take your relatives do.

sounds like a pandora's box imo.

anyway, ask your aunty as was pointed out.

Probably because he's interested in her. I can understand where he's coming from.

ogugua88:

Probably because he's interested in her. I can understand where he's coming from.

candygurl:

I AM AN ALIEN , someone help!!!

I am 28yrs old and matured. The problem is that since I was born I only saw my Dad once whom is now late. The issue is that no one has neither sat me down to tell me who is my Dad nor where he came from. Though, I reluctantly thought this issue won’t affect me until I met my dreamlover, (kind of man any woman would wish for herself) and he raised this point and how important my origin could be.
     I grew up with my grandparents, I never enjoyed the love and care of a real mother because I was separated from her the moment I sensed sunlight. But thanks to GOD, also my Grandparents that raised and made me who I am today.(May their souls rest in peace)
     I have come of age and what i thought wont haunt me is right before me as my lover wants to know my origin, cos I never bothered to ask my people. javascript:void(0);My aunty once showed me my stepsisters in a picture. The worse part of the story is that my mum never discussed the issue with me neither does she show any remorse on it.
      Please, Nairalanders kindly advise me on what to do, where do I start from , who will I ask because I don’t know my origin and no man or rather any parent will accept an alien . PLS, I NEED YOUR CANDID ADVISE ON THIS. God bless my well wishers. Thanks.

Ok. Sweeery, by the way, are u light skin and do you gots Nyansh?

Mr, cork 4 God sake,the poor gurl is trying to get her origin and u are asking if she is light skin.See ur head like isi-ewu.

tpiah!:

if this lover of yours knows your story as you explained it here, then why is he pressuring you for more info.

wetin e wan take your relatives do.

sounds like a pandora's box imo.

anyway, ask your aunty as was pointed out.

If the guy is Yoruba Most families would want to know more about a prospective daughter in Law.

They believe marriage goes beyong 2 ppl its infact a union of both families. And a lot of informal background check would be done. Was anyone in her lineage a criminal, Do they have history of insanity or any peculiar illness, Do they have an history of violence in the house? They check every detail

If someone comes and tell you I dont know my father, I dont know any of his relations, I dont even know his name.

That sounds suspicious immediately.

@OP, Ask your mom for any detail she might

Wow very complicated seen as the people u knw well and that raised u are nomore . Ummm do you not communicate with ur mum atall?

dayokanu:

If the guy is Yoruba Most families would want to know more about a prospective daughter in Law.

They believe marriage goes beyong 2 ppl its infact a union of both families. And a lot of informal background check would be done. Was anyone in her lineage a criminal, Do they have history of insanity or any peculiar illness, Do they have an history of violence in the house? They check every detail

If someone comes and tell you I dont know my father, I dont know any of his relations, I dont even know his name.

That sounds suspicious immediately.

@OP, Ask your mom for any detail she might

if everyone she knows is maintaining a dead silence on the issue, then its not everything that needs to be ferreted out.

some secrets, if uncovered, lead to nothing but devastation.


the people who actually raised her are the ones who the lover should be talking to. If they're no more, then surely there's a substitute aside from her actual birth parents who can handle this matter with kid gloves. and tact.


her mum could be  keeping silent in order to protect her.

i dont think the guy has the right to start pestering her for information about her relatives after hearing of her background. It might be idle curiousity, but what's idle to him could be deadly to someone else.

if he cant handle not knowing, then maybe that's a red flag?

and in yorubaland, the relatives of a couple are the ones who scout for information about each other, not the couple themselves.

tpiah!:

if everyone she knows is maintaining a dead silence on the issue, then its not everything that needs to be ferreted out.

some secrets, if uncovered, lead to nothing but devastation.

If you are going to marry someone, I believe all secrets should be laid open and let the two parties decide if they want to go ahead despite the dirty secrets involved. No use Hoodwinking the other party into marriage and later find out the truth.

the people who actually raised her are the ones who the lover should be talking to. If they're no more, then surely there's a substitute aside from her actual birth parents who can handle this matter with kid gloves. and tact.

her mum could be keeping silent in order to protect her.

How could her moms silence be to protect her? Let the truth be known to all parties than for them 7yrs into marriage now find out.

How do you know they are not even related through the dad?

i dont think the guy has the right to start pestering her for information about her relatives after hearing of her background. It might be idle curiousity, but what's idle to him could be deadly to someone else.

if he cant handle not knowing, then maybe that's a red flag?

If he can not handle what? The OP not knowing is already a red flag.

You meet a guy he says his father is dead, he was raised by Grand parents, His mom doesnt ever talk about his dad, He doesnt know any of his dads relations. If you are not hopelessly in love and you talk to elders in your family They would have concerns too.

and in yorubaland, the relatives of a couple are the ones who scout for information about each other, not the couple themselves.

How would the relations get the necesary info to act on? Normally they ask you Tope who is the guy, Whats his name and which town is he from, From there they go and do their own research,

How would they dig when they dont even know what to look for?

How are the certain that the girl and boy are not even siblings to start with?

that's the job of the relations.

they will dig up whatever they need to. Even the mother's information alone is enough for starters. And the grandparents' own.

as per the couple being siblings, the guy should also ask his own dad for info, abi?

Well OP,
maybe you are a product of ra*pe,violence, or a shameful circumstance.  I believe they are trying to protect you. The issue is, can you handle the truth? If you can, then prepare yourself for the worst and tell your mother that. Also understand that your lover might run away. Who wants to deal with all the issue's associated with such a situation.

You know your Grandparents and your Mother that's all so who else do you wanna know again? Tell your man your dad is dead, your Grandparents are dead and your Mum is the only relation you have. Period!!!!