NewStats: 3,262,103 , 8,176,074 topics. Date: Saturday, 31 May 2025 at 07:16 PM 5o3m4b

I haven't been fortunate with guys.
My first attempt at a relationship failed woefully.
And so did the second, third and fourth.
It isnt entirely without a reason though.
I'm SS. I have been a Sickle cell advocate for many years. I don't shy away from talking about it on any level.

Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?
All the guys I've been in love with, for one flimsy reason or the other just disappear for no reason. Just like that.

Of course, I don't hide my genotype status, but then they seem cool with it. Months later, he disappears and leaves me heartbroken.

Now I find myself liking someone again (the fifth guy). We haven't gotten that close but I'm scared. Should I lie to him? What do I tell him?

lying to someone just so they can stay, isn't a good thing. if you need to lie and dwell in lies so a guy would like you and stay with you, then there's a problem. I once fell in love with a lady who was SS but she left cos she felt we were risking our lives. my advice is that you tell the guy the truth and if he chooses to bounce, well, it's his loss and not yours. I would advice you be yourself and be in charge of your emotions. I wouldn't mind dating an SS lady again. peace.

You know the answer to that which you seek.






You must lie!

CreepyBlackpool:
You know the answer to that which you seek.







You must lie!

You do know that you can't bury the truth for long, right?

annford:
lying to someone just so they can stay, isn't a good thing. if you need to lie and dwell in lies so a guy would like you and stay with you, then there's a problem. I once fell in love with a lady who was SS but she left cos she felt we were risking our lives. my advice is that you tell the guy the truth and if he chooses to bounce, well, it's his loss and not yours. I would advice you be yourself and be in charge of your emotions. I wouldn't mind dating an SS lady again. peace.

Thanks. Pardon my curiousity.
Why did she feel that you were risking your lives?

Chi59:
Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?

Madam! Your low self esteem is disturbing. Stop boasting and advertising yourself. You are this and that, yet men keep running away from you!

Do you think a man in his right sense will get married or comfortably date a sickle cell?

Kindly tell that man you are loving, so that you don't end up ruining his future, life and family with your deceitful plans.

dont lie... and i believe theres nothing GOD cannot do!

donstan18:

Madam! Stop boasting and advertising yourself. You are this and that, yet men keep running away from you!

Do you think a man in his right sense get married or comfortably date a sickle cell?

Kindly tell that man you are loving, so that you don't end up ruining his future, life and family with your deceitful plans.

You need a brain check

Don't lie to him dear,lies are only temporary solutions,d b!tter truth would surely come up one day n trust me there would be no going back...

Are you a Christian? I don't mean a Church goer, but a born-again believer. If you are one then what stops you from trusting your Father to sort you out in his time and according to his plan for your life?

I would always advise that you speak the truth, even if it hurts.

Stay strong, girl.

bLacKGoLd3:
Are you a Christian? I don't mean Church goer, but a born-again believer. If you are one then what stops you from trusting your Father to sort you out in his time and according to his plan for your life?

I would always advise that you speak the truth, even if it hurts.

Stay strong, girl.

The truth has robbed me of 4 good guys. How many more will I lose to the truth?

Chi59:


The truth has robbed me of 4 good guys. How many more will I lose to the truth?

Why not stop thinking of going into one. You definitely feel you have everything but lacking in relationship. This thought has built up curiosity in you, hence, you want to be loved by the opposite sex irrespective of your genotype.

If you must go into one again, then don't be open about your genotype and don't allow for intimacy. especially unproductive ones. You and I knows it's too risky to hide this from your partner.

I would recommend you take a break from trying to go into a new relationship.

mrphysics:

Why not stop thinking of going into one. You definitely feel you have everything but lacking in relationship. This thought has built up curiosity in you, hence, you want to be loved by the opposite sex irrespective of your genotype.

If you must go into one again, then don't be open about your genotype and don't allow for intimacy. especially unproductive ones. You and I knows it's too risky to hide this from your partner.

I would recommend you take a break from trying to go into a new relationship.

I took a break for almost a full year. Fell in love with my then best friend (the fourth guy) who wooed me for the greater part of that year. The moment I agreed to his proposal, he grew cold feet.

I'm exhausted.

Chi59:


I took a break for almost a full year. Fell in love with my then best friend (the fourth guy) who wooed me for the greater part of that year. The moment I agreed to his proposal, he grew cold feet.

I'm exhausted.

What you need the most now is to be happy. Considering your status, being happy is more beneficial than having a boyfriend that might be giving you some emotional problem.

Why not choose to stay single and happy. There are many things you can achieve being single and happy. You have to accept relationship isn't working for you. Come to with that hard truth and go for plan B. So what is your plan B? To keep moving from one to another?

mrphysics:

What you need the most now is to be happy. Considering your status, being happy is more beneficial than having a boyfriend that might be giving you some emotional problem.

Why not choose to stay single and happy. There are many things you can achieve being single and happy. You have to accept relationship isn't working for you. Come to with that hard truth and go for plan B. So what is your plan B? To keep moving from one to another?

Are you saying that I give up on relationships?
Should I confine my self to a lifetime of loneliness simply because I have a genetic disorder?

Of course, I might stay single for a few more years but then I would love to find love and settle down someday.

Chi59:


Thanks. Pardon my curiosity.
Why did she feel that you were risking your lives?

You're not being curious at all. well, she was always digging up stuffs online.....got misled and all. I'm AA while she's SS. we went to 3 different hospitals for tests and I always came out AA. she felt something might happen and then, boom! we'd have kids with SS. Stuffs like that don't bother me as long as the one I love is truly happy.

Do not lie but at the same time do not be too forward with that information. At least start dating first, I believe the genotype question doesn’t really come up in the early stages of a relationship. You also need to believe that there’s someone out there who will overlook your status and commit to you, never stop believing and stay optimistic.

annford:

You're not being curious at all. well, she was always digging up stuffs online.....got misled and all. I'm AA while she's SS. we went to 3 different hospitals for tests and I always came out AA. she felt something might happen and then, boom! we'd have kids with SS. Stuffs like that don't bother me as long as the one I love is truly happy.

That's sad. Maybe there's another reason she didn't hint you on. Because as far as I know, it's extremely rare for AA and AS to have kids with sickle cell.
I don't think there's a possibility of AA and SS having kids with sickle cell.

Chi59:


You need a brain check

Babe it best you tell him at the beginning when u have no feeling yet and see if he will accept u for u. Best to be with a guy who is AA. You deserve true love and you shall get it.



This Omotola's movie Mortal Inheritance comes to mind, you definitely find love.

Chi59:


Are you saying that I give up on relationships?
Should I confine my self to a lifetime of loneliness simply because I have a genetic disorder?

Of course, I might stay single for a few more years but then I would love to find love and settle down someday.

No, I'm not saying you should stay single. But to understand that for now, you really wanted it to work and it's not working. Relax your mind on it, give preference to yourself and you'd see it work.

I believe there is someone for everyone.

Keep searching you will find one that will stay someday.

And don't blame the guys that disappear, SS condition can bring heartbreak later when medical problems arise.

If you van do it, just abstain from premarital sex with any new guy you get and see if he stays. If he leaves, you try again

Chi59:


That's sad. Maybe there's another reason she didn't hint you on. Because as far as I know, it's extremely rare for AA and AS to have kids with sickle cell.
I don't think there's a possibility of AA and SS having kids with sickle cell.

Thing is, she lacked confidence in herself. I tried times without numbers to correct her mindset but she was held spellbound by it. I even had to get my family involved when she called it quits but hey, she said she didn't want to bring children into this world for them to 'suffer I'll health'. I had to throw in the towel when I noticed she wouldn't change her mind. I loved her so much but what do I know?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Babe it best you tell him at the beginning when u have no feeling yet and see if he will accept u for u. Best to be with a guy who is AA. You deserve true love and you shall get it.



This Omotola's movie Mortal Inheritance comes to mind, you definitely find love.

Thanks sis

Don't lie to keep any man.

Also only date guys with AA genotype that way you eliminate the excuse of the children being
SS .

Chi59:
I haven't been fortunate with guys.
My first attempt at a relationship failed woefully.
And so did the second, third and fourth.
It isnt entirely without a reason though.
I'm SS. I have been a Sickle cell advocate for many years. I don't shy away from talking about it on any level.

Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?
All the guys I've been in love with, for one flimsy reason or the other just disappear for no reason. Just like that.

Of course, I don't hide my genotype status, but then they seem cool with it. Months later, he disappears and leaves me heartbroken.

Now I find myself liking someone again (the fifth guy). We haven't gotten that close but I'm scared. Should I lie to him? What do I tell him?

Despite the disappointment of the past, i wouldn't advice you to tell a lie just to keep a guy. It's best you say it the way it's and whoever that chooses to stay put will do so. What happens if you lie and he discovers this when the both parties have been deeply bonded?

There are many guys out there that will first over look that and focus on what you have to offer e.g the qualities in you before talking about genotype. Do not rush into anything and also do not rush into informing the guy of your status. Let him appreciate you for who you are and naturally, the discuss on genotype will come up and you inform him about it

Once again, do not lie to keep a guy, it will definitely backfire

Chi59:
I haven't been fortunate with guys.
My first attempt at a relationship failed woefully.
And so did the second, third and fourth.
It isnt entirely without a reason though.
I'm SS. I have been a Sickle cell advocate for many years. I don't shy away from talking about it on any level.

Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?
All the guys I've been in love with, for one flimsy reason or the other just disappear for no reason. Just like that.

Of course, I don't hide my genotype status, but then they seem cool with it. Months later, he disappears and leaves me heartbroken.

Now I find myself liking someone again (the fifth guy). We haven't gotten that close but I'm scared. Should I lie to him? What do I tell him?

Its better you let him know now, if he truly loves you, he will stay. Just pray for God's will to come to you.

u mean dey just disappear afta goin down d honey site.... too badddd

well don't lie nd don't just tell him 4 no reason.. zip ur mouth

Abaje195:
u mean dey just disappear afta goin down d honey site.... too badddd

No. So far, I haven't let anyone into my "holy of holies"

Chi59:
I haven't been fortunate with guys.
My first attempt at a relationship failed woefully.
And so did the second, third and fourth.
It isnt entirely without a reason though.
I'm SS. I have been a Sickle cell advocate for many years. I don't shy away from talking about it on any level.

Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?
All the guys I've been in love with, for one flimsy reason or the other just disappear for no reason. Just like that.

Of course, I don't hide my genotype status, but then they seem cool with it. Months later, he disappears and leaves me heartbroken.

Now I find myself liking someone again (the fifth guy). We haven't gotten that close but I'm scared. Should I lie to him? What do I tell him?

can I chat with you on WhatsApp, privately?

[quote author=Chi59 post=76432820]I haven't been fortunate with guys.
Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing
Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. WHO ASK U??