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11 Things Lagosians Will Not Miss About “danfo” - Travel - Nairaland 3s1f6t

11 Things Lagosians Will Not Miss About “danfo” (23080 Views)

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AutoJoshNG: 1:09pm On Jul 25, 2018
The story around town is that Governor Ambode is in the process of introducing about 5000 air-conditioned luxury BRT buses to Lagos roads.

The process is part of a grand plan to rid the state of the notorious yellow buses, otherwise referred to as “Danfo“.

Indeed, this is a welcome development. Getting rid of those annoying Danfos is long overdue.

Well, apart from the nuisance value that they provide, they also sometimes offer commuters a good measure of entertainment.

All that notwithstanding, memories of Danfo will be one Lagosians will certainly not miss.

Now, here are “11 things that we will love to miss about Danfos in Lagos”.



“Wo Le Pelu Changi”


This is an anthem of some sort by bus drivers and their conductors. They chant it as a threat to notify potential engers of unpalatable consequences of boarding the danfo without the exact fare.



Expecting engers to disembark while the danfo is still in motion

Time is of the essence to danfo drivers and their conductors. For reasons best known to them, they are always in a hurry. Sparing a moment to park in order for a enger to disembark is such a huge luxury to them. So, they vituperate if a disembarking enger does not jump off their buses even while it is still in motion.



Alcohol-laden breath of the driver and his conductor

Catching a whiff of alcohol from the breathe of danfo drivers and their conductors are realities that commuters in commercial buses in Lagos have become accustomed to. In a state where the road traffic management institutions are not known to carry out sobriety tests on motorists, this has become the norm rather than the exception.



Smelling the armpit of the bus conductor

God help you if you are seated right at the spot near where the danfo conductor is standing. At such position, you would be exposed to the stench originating from some of his body location – notably, his armpit. This becomes very prominent when he leans forward or backward to collect money from engers at the front or the back seat.



That annoying spare tyre under the seat

Never expect to be comfortable in a danfo. However, the very least you expect is a legroom – or a space for your feet in the danfo. But it is sometimes never the case. Instead, the spot that was designed for you to place your feet on has an obstruction. It is the presence of the danfo’s spare tyre. Now, you are left with no choice than to suspend your feet awkwardly on the danfo’s spare tyre.



Stopping the danfo in order to urinate on the tyres

Indeed, danfo drivers and their conductors are humans too. They too feel the need to answer to the call of nature. However, they have a rather awkward method of answering that call. While in transit, or when stuck in traffic, they stop their vehicles and then alight to urinate on the tyres of their danfo.



Emergency “marriages”

This union happens between you and one or more co-engers. It happens due to the failure of engers to present the exact fare for the trip to the conductor. So, you together with another offending co-enger are left to find a way to split the money in order to get the amount that is due you. This process is called “marrying” or “marriage”.



Dirty appearance

Bus drivers and their conductors appear like they jumped right out of their beds and went straight driving their Danfos. Their outfits sometimes leaves their bodies almost bare. Their bodies’ ooze sweat-induced stench – one that leaves you wondering if they have made any attempt to take their bath in this millennium.



The Seat-belts don’t function

Most Seatbelts in danfos are just there to to fulfill all righteousness. They never seem to function. Some of them are not attached at one ends. Some of them are slack or have totally lost their grip.



The non-functional wipers

Even if the have wipers. Danfos typically have wipers with blunt wiper blades – or wipers with just the wiper arm. During torrential rainfall, and due to poor visibility, the engers are left at the mercy of God.



The Extra “Joko” Seat

Many danfos, by their designs have two seats in front – the drivers seat and a enger seat by the door. In an attempt to earn extra income, they typically place a wooden kitchen seat (Joko) or a plastic seat there.

https://autojosh.com/11-things-lagosians-will-not-miss-about-danfo/

17 Likes 2 Shares

AutoJoshNG: 1:10pm On Jul 25, 2018

Uglyaddy: 3:27pm On Jul 25, 2018
Nothing ever can be like danfo.

For curiosity sake,where will all this "danfos" and "molues" be dump?

38 Likes

Sirbobowen(m): 3:27pm On Jul 25, 2018
Next
inoki247: 3:27pm On Jul 25, 2018
well we will miss al doz alighting where dere is no Bustop and Lastma coming to kizzle dem and enger start begging.. oga eh joh ko ni shebe moh

6 Likes

whowantfuck(m): 3:27pm On Jul 25, 2018
k
Niyinficient(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
We will miss them sha

2 Likes

froshsteve(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
cheesy
Nategaoo: 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
I hate danfos alot but arent they putting people out of business?

6 Likes

HotMario: 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018


Good riddance to bad rubbish

19 Likes

levi2(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
o sheee...danfo drivers and techno
olametrix(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
cool
highbeeola(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
FTC 2018 o boy o go kill cow
Radiant1020(f): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
Lagos! I really need to travel to that state... Even if it's just once

3 Likes

denony(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
Ok
HajimeSaito(m): 3:28pm On Jul 25, 2018
grin

Stopping the Danfo to fill the overheating carburetor with water

Using empty table water bottle to pour fuel into the tank

7 Likes 1 Share

lilfreezy: 3:29pm On Jul 25, 2018
"Condoctor Owo da? "

24 Likes 2 Shares

Olutala(m): 3:29pm On Jul 25, 2018
Uncomfortable seats and leaking roofs

1 Like

Re: 11 Things Lagosians Will Not Miss About “danfo” by Nobody: 3:29pm On Jul 25, 2018
The ability to mutually draw (not tap) full current tongue

2 Likes

Zeebabybh: 3:30pm On Jul 25, 2018

Please do not post adverts in this section, to avoid being banned


Yen Yen Yen

7 Likes

dominique(f): 3:31pm On Jul 25, 2018
I still don't this idea of taking danfo off the roads. Who says the new mini buses can't coexist with the old commercial buses? The population of the state is too large to rely on government buses.

7 Likes

Sirpaul(m): 3:31pm On Jul 25, 2018
lol

vivaciousvivi(f): 3:31pm On Jul 25, 2018
Danfo, the logo of Lagos intra city transportation grin
ayoBiz(m): 3:31pm On Jul 25, 2018
Kai, that smelly armpits be the worse!

2 Likes

ozimec(m): 3:32pm On Jul 25, 2018
AutoJoshNG:
The story around town is that Governor Ambode is in the process of introducing about 5000 air-conditioned luxury BRT buses to Lagos roads.

The process is part of a grand plan to rid the state of the notorious yellow buses, otherwise referred to as “Danfo“.

Indeed, this is a welcome development. Getting rid of those annoying Danfos is long overdue.

Well, apart from the nuisance value that they provide, they also sometimes offer commuters a good measure of entertainment.

All that notwithstanding, memories of Danfo will be one Lagosians will certainly not miss.

Now, here are “11 things that we will love to miss about Danfos in Lagos”.



“Wo Le Pelu Changi”


This is an anthem of some sort by bus drivers and their conductors. They chant it as a threat to notify potential engers of unpalatable consequences of boarding the danfo without the exact fare.



Expecting engers to disembark while the danfo is still in motion

Time is of the essence to danfo drivers and their conductors. For reasons best known to them, they are always in a hurry. Sparing a moment to park in order for a enger to disembark is such a huge luxury to them. So, they vituperate if a disembarking enger does not jump off their buses even while it is still in motion.



Alcohol-laden breath of the driver and his conductor

Catching a whiff of alcohol from the breathe of danfo drivers and their conductors are realities that commuters in commercial buses in Lagos have become accustomed to. In a state where the road traffic management institutions are not known to carry out sobriety tests on motorists, this has become the norm rather than the exception.



Smelling the armpit of the bus conductor

God help you if you are seated right at the spot near where the danfo conductor is standing. At such position, you would be exposed to the stench originating from some of his body location – notably, his armpit. This becomes very prominent when he leans forward or backward to collect money from engers at the front or the back seat.



That annoying spare tyre under the seat

Never expect to be comfortable in a danfo. However, the very least you expect is a legroom – or a space for your feet in the danfo. But it is sometimes never the case. Instead, the spot that was designed for you to place your feet on has an obstruction. It is the presence of the danfo’s spare tyre. Now, you are left with no choice than to suspend your feet awkwardly on the danfo’s spare tyre.



Stopping the danfo in order to urinate on the tyres

Indeed, danfo drivers and their conductors are humans too. They too feel the need to answer to the call of nature. However, they have a rather awkward method of answering that call. While in transit, or when stuck in traffic, they stop their vehicles and then alight to urinate on the tyres of their danfo.



Emergency “marriages”

This union happens between you and one or more co-engers. It happens due to the failure of engers to present the exact fare for the trip to the conductor. So, you together with another offending co-enger are left to find a way to split the money in order to get the amount that is due you. This process is called “marrying” or “marriage”.



Dirty appearance

Bus drivers and their conductors appear like they jumped right out of their beds and went straight driving their Danfos. Their outfits sometimes leaves their bodies almost bare. Their bodies’ ooze sweat-induced stench – one that leaves you wondering if they have made any attempt to take their bath in this millennium.



The Seat-belts don’t function

Most Seatbelts in danfos are just there to to fulfill all righteousness. They never seem to function. Some of them are not attached at one ends. Some of them are slack or have totally lost their grip.



The non-functional wipers

Even if the have wipers. Danfos typically have wipers with blunt wiper blades – or wipers with just the wiper arm. During torrential rainfall, and due to poor visibility, the engers are left at the mercy of God.



The Extra “Joko” Seat

Many danfos, by their designs have two seats in front – the drivers seat and a enger seat by the door. In an attempt to earn extra income, they typically place a wooden kitchen seat (Joko) or a plastic seat there.

https://autojosh.com/11-things-lagosians-will-not-miss-about-danfo/


Anyways, you are correct but, i seriously doubts if danfo can be phased out in Lagos. such project will outlive Ambode second term and by the time another government will come in, the rest will be history.

1 Like

mknigeriagreat: 3:32pm On Jul 25, 2018
Uglyaddy:
Nothing ever can be like danfo.

For curiosity sake,where will all this "danfos" and "molues" be dump?

same question asked when okada was banned. development and growth. They will all vanish into different states.

3 Likes

Indomie001: 3:33pm On Jul 25, 2018
At least, some sanity 'll be restored in Lagos State transport sector.
Demgohearword: 3:36pm On Jul 25, 2018
Auto.josh has turn to Lagos transport ministry blogger

3 Likes

Olalan(m): 3:36pm On Jul 25, 2018
The Fuji music blasting in their radio.....

1 Like

ajayiopy: 3:39pm On Jul 25, 2018
ozoebuka1:
grin

All i know is Lagos is a no man's land and other Yoruba states i.e ekiti and osun state can't pay workers their salaries even though most afonjas here tell us that Yoruba states have the highest IGR grin grin grin

Afonjas can lie sha grin
ARE YOU ON DRUG AGAIN?

4 Likes

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