NewStats: 3,263,798 , 8,181,436 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 11:55 PM 5b3e4l

Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time, I'm talking about six months, twelve months, or even longer, and it was getting to the point where you needed to have "the talk" with him. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over, and then he became distant from you, and the relationship ended soon after

no i have not but that is hard huh

olunifemi:

, his eyes just glazed over, and then he became distant from you,

nahhhhh never been thru this but gal you should have ran away from that guy as fast as your legs could carry you " " , the guy was commitmentphobic

true talk ikamefa!

Why live with just one cow when you can get plenty types of milk from different sources else where?

The guy was in it for sex. oops.

@ seun

I go the way of SEUN and IKAMEFA.

Guys like that shl be avoided like a plague.

Yeah it has happened to me but the opposite way

what if the guy says things like let us wait and see what happens in the future? do you wait, not knowing what the future will be or just move on with someone else?

soulpatrol:

what if the guy says things like let us wait and see what happens in the future? do you wait, not knowing what the future will be or just move on with someone else?

nahhhhhhh for me no-waiting, he should be convinced if he wants to move the relationship to the next level or we go our separate ways.

@ikamefa

true talk

@olunifemi

Quit the relationship as fast as you can, I have been there before, I don't know why guys would stay with a girl that long and not want commitment, it beats me why someone would want to waste your time. The way I see it, if everything is going on well btw you guys and he not ready now, he would never be ready that's for sure, be it 2,3 or 4 years,--such guys have emotional problems.

Don't hold up the traffic girl, keep it moving

true talk seun,

OLUNIFEMI
well sorry firstly about your experience. However i am going to flip the coin here, when i read your post i immediately thot of myself in the guys place. I am so scared of committing, i have had one proposal after a longish relationship and i totally freaked out. In my case, i just didnt love him enough to want to settle down with him, but i did not mind goin out with him so much , just the thot of marriage feaked me out. Maybe it was a case of wrong guy , wrong time, who knows but yes i agree with Desiree, dont waste ur time i would have said the same to my ex as i am saying to you if he had insisted on staying in the relationship, if both ppl want different things that is.

I wont say the guy was necessarily leading you on, atleast he didnt come out and say '' ok we'' marry soon, or a few years time'' like some ppl do. That is just cruel when you know in ur heart of hearts you won't settle down with them.

When a woman or man becomes distant from the partner after talks of more committment or marriage, then they too scared to tell you wats really going on and you should brave it and leave the relationship.


Like some one said, its not always about sex, sometimes you can care greatly or love some one but not want to commit further for other reasons. Fuk we all got too much crap to deal with sometimes and its not always about ''ME,me me''

Maybe for girls the reasons might be complicated, but for a guy who runs away from a girl he's been sleeping with because she wants commitment, it's very obvious that he's in the "relationship" for the sex.

Men are not complicated. When they want sex, they look for a 'babe' to satisfy their cravings. It's so simple.

It is Obvious that the guy doesn't wanna be with you anymore, so why are you crying over spilt milk.
let him go, you'll get someone else that may be better.

look u people should try and understand this guy as well,although i am not trying to take sides with him,but the fact is that,4rom experiences,it is blatant that it is when u[a guy]tries to put in his all in an affair,by trying to take it to an enviable level,and by falling in love that the girl would now start misbehaving,i am not saying all ladies do it,but most of them do like that,i somehow feel the guy,because heart-break is a very serious thing ooo,y not try,i mean the lady,should try and find out more about the guy's past,though it might take hard 4 him to reveal it to u any way,he might still be taking his time with u any way.

What guy are you talking about? As in who are you not actually siding with?

if a guy is playing games on the issue of committment, i would just find my way out basically, because he might not be ready to move to the next level. we as women cant afford to be wasting our time with one guy that doesnt want to commit, theres too many fish in the sea. its easier for guys i think, because women have so many factors stacked up against them, most importantly age (biological clock and all that). we simply cant wait even if we wanted to.
it really baffles me though how some guys can stay with a girl knowing they have no future plans for her, yet keep stringing her along and wasting her time. its just not right!

o yeahhhhhhhhhhh SOULPATROL, you are right though,but don,t be a victim of circumstance
because,if LOVE takes you,you alway want to do anything to keep the guy, even if he's cheating on you.whatever he say,goes, i mean you become FOOL FOR LOVE.but i pray it wont happen to you.

That only happens when you believe love will cure all (plain dumb) and that love is all you need to sustain a relationship. . .really funny, what happened to trust? control? or even common sense (althou, they said common sense is not that common). If i was in love and the guy was cheating you can bet your $$ that i will give him the boot, nothing like being foolishly in love

it hapened 2 me abt a yr ago and wht i did was just 2 leave him alone.but after tellg a friend abt it,he said i shd hv waitd a bit atleast 4 him 2 say he wasnt interested.i dd not rgret leavg him though but i just want u guys 2 tell me if i was wrong wt my decision.

thanks dennylove. i hope shit like that never happens to any of us.

@olunifemi. you did the right thing by leaving. one just has to follow their instincts and do what they have to do. time is too precious to be wasted on a guy that's not serious. besides the advice your friend gave you wasnt good. why would you stay until the guy gets tired of you? that would be like having no respect for yourself and looking desperate. youre better than that. you totally made the right decision.

OLUNIFEMI,if you trully love the guy, you would have waited and see the out come of the relationship,WHO KNOWS HE MIGHT BE TESTING YOU IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM.

SOULPATROL,i know that you are a girl of NO NONSENSE,but, come to think of it, that LOVE IS ENDURANCE AND LONG SUFFERING,do you think that those peoples that have BLISSFUL relationship just started it one day?

so what youre sayin, dennylove, that she should have hung around until the guy makes up his mind about her">
and then at the end of the day, maybe he didnt even have plans for her and she was just wasting her time. i think whatever will be yours will be. sometimes you need to be apart from the one you love (for a short while)so you can both analyse if you really cant do with the other.
and yes, i really am a girl of no nonsense, because ive seen this kind of thing happen too often to people around me, including myself. my ex whom id been dating for years and years, it turns out from me drilling him, that he really didnt have any future plans for me, so at least i knew where i stood in his life and wasted no time further with him. time is too precious

SOULPATROL,see,you can't PREDICTwhere a relationship is heading to,you only play your part with SINCERITY AND PATIENCE,so, even if the guy lose you,there comes a time that he will realize that he has LOST A GEM,and that any girl that comes around him for relationship cannot be COMPARED TO YOU.

its always the other way around for me as i do the freezing up thing and leave them thinking
[b][/b]"WHAT KINDA GAL IS THIS?"

My dear i know what you mean

leave him fast

If you are with a guy for 6months or longer, you should have had the talk a long time ago. I met my hubby in April of one year by the following Febuary we were engaged and married that December. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee him!

whoa, good for you, babe1. but tell me, when is it right to ask your boyfriend about future plans? how long do you have to have been dating before you start drilling him? would seriously like to know