NewStats: 3,259,136 , 8,169,218 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 May 2025 at 12:06 AM 4y1v33

He sends me text messages everyday, and calls about twice a week. My heart actually skips a bit when he sends me txt messages, or calls, and I find myself wanting to call him often (but I don't) etc, the problem is that although, he has invited me over for dinner twice (he cooked y'all!!!), and quickly offered to go with me to the car dealership when I had a little accident, he has not 'asked' me out, nor done anything else to show that he'd like to date me, it's so confusing to me!! I don't want to mis-read him and I am not the type of girl to make a move so this is really eating me up. I'd like to continue to play it cool but I think I am losing my typically nonchalant, wont-return-phone-calls-readily, wont-go-out-of-my-way-to-impress, etc

So people, tell me, what do you think is going on? Is he into me but too shy, intimidated by me having my act completely together, or whatever else? My cousin thinks he might be but I don't think so cause he's got his own stuff going well for him, actually, I hate to it it but he does intimidate me a bit myself. He's an architect and has his own interior design business.

Do you think that perhaps like the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" (see link below), that he's probably just not that into me?

maybe he just wants to be friends , no strings attached kind of thing na'mean,why don't you go with the flow, i know most guys don't like gals who are too forward so, reign  in your kuku gaga feelins over him, roll with the flow. he might just be taking his sweet time

as per your question is he into yah, i say a definite no, because if hes into yah hes gon be sweating you 24/7 na'mean">

yea he aint into u

Geez, don't be nice about it
J/Kidding - yeah, I feared that might be the case, dang it. Oh well.
Although, he did send a txt this morn that said "Hey Sweetie"
I didn't respond 'cause honestly, I was playing games trying not to show that I'm into him, so although I have only two s now, you both are getting me pretty convinced that that might be the case so I think I'll just leave the game playing all alone and just start to put some distance between us until I can reign in my goo goo ga ga feelings.

Rubbermaid:

Geez, don't be nice about it
J/Kidding - yeah, I feared that might be the case, dang it. Oh well.
Although, he did send a txt this morn that said "Hey Sweetie"
I didn't respond 'cause honestly, I was playing games trying not to show that I'm into him, so although I have only two s now, you both are getting me pretty convinced that that might be the case so I think I'll just leave the game playing all alone and just start to put some distance between us until I can reign in my goo goo ga ga feelings.

am not saying put a distance btwn you guys,am saying if he is a good person like you described hey , hang in there good friends are hard to find.
the guy might just be" testing the waters" he might be the cautious type . aint nuffin wrong with kicking it with him on a friendly basis who knows , him fit fall yakata later as you don fall   

and stop playing games gal , just be you ,you wanna call him ,pick up the phone and call but not on a stalking level oh

ikamefa:

am not saying put a distance btwn you guys,am saying if he is a good person like you described hey , hang in there good friends are hard to find.
the guy might just be" testing the waters" he might be the cautious type . aint nuffin wrong with kicking it with him on a friendly basis who knows , him fit fall yakata later as you don fall

and stop playing games girl , just be you ,you want to call him ,pick up the phone and call but not on a stalking level oh

Girl, I hear you!, but truth is if I called him everytime I wanted to, I'd be stalking him I think
I think I'll drop the games, but still make it a point to put some distance - like no more dinners etc until I am sure I'd be cool with just being friends (without any expectations), right now, I guess I am expecting that he's doing stuff cause he might like me and want to ask me out, which may or may not be the case,
So until I can work out all thie complicated dating (or not dating) mess maybe I should work on me being cool with hanging out with him just because it's cool to hang out with him, without the strings, expectations etc

Will be tough though but I think I can hang tough .

you both are still tasting the waters. hang in there and drop the game playing. he is a good guy and a lil interest from you wont hurt him.

he is totally into u but i guess he don't wanna be 2 forward but gurl he gon ax u soon

kiki:

he is totally into u but i guess he don't want to be 2 forward but girl he gon ax u soon

Why is he going to ax me soon?

dondele:

you both are still tasting the waters. hang in there and drop the game playing. he is a good guy and a lil interest from you wont hurt him.

Hey Dondele,

Nice to get a male perspective - I feel that accepting and going over to his place for dinner should show my interest. Also, me being amenable and having phone/txt conversations should show that I'm interested in what he has to say. What type of interest do you mean?
Now, keep in mind that I don't do the whole 'girl asking guy' out thing. Just not my style.

ax = ask lol
@Topic, hmmm maybe he thinks he's 2 young for u? I dont knw, but i definitely feel he likes u alot(for crying out loud, he cooked for you ) Give it a lil time, am sure he'll either give you a hint or ask you out right. Sorry cudnt be of much help coz i tend 2 just go for the jugular with guys and ask him if he likes me or not or if he wants 2 date me or not. But thats just me

iice:

ax = ask lol

LOL!! Thanks for clearing that up iice. I was wondering wetin I do wen e go ax me.

Re: going for the jugular, I might try that as the last resort so I can know one way or the other and move on if need be.

These days its quite difficult to be plain friends with girls, Each time a guy shows some care and
4 a chick or tries to cheer her up by sending cute sms or spending valuable time with them
they develop the wrong idea and start thinking on a romantic level, from personal experience
A guy does not always want a relationship with u, He might just want to be a true friend but ur feelings make it all become complicated
Honey girl hes not into u on lovers level, but could be thebest friend u have dreamt of

I think he is into u but that is just his strategy – and it seem to be working, if he came out strongly u’d probably have discarded him by now, but he is taking it slowly, penetrating into your heart, messing with with your brains, by the time he comes out fully (that’s if you don’t make the first move and you have to be strong willed not to) you will give him no hassles – am talking from personal experience

He is shy

things may not be as simple as they seem,

for how long have you known this guy?
do you know if he's single and unattached?
do you know if he's got some other babes around him?
will it be out of place for you to return his calls/sms?
will you not send him away by your tactical distancing?
is he someone you'll readily go out with if he asks you out?
how much do you know about his person?
does he have a past love life that can give you insight into his true intent?
have you two ever talked about relationships, whether personal or other folks'?

cool, you've gone to dinner with him, very cool; but after that what else have you done
to show your interest in him, or his seeming interest for you?
are you afraid that after all, he may not really want you for a relationship?
and that's something you will really like? won't you?

, to me, there's no shame in tears, something like 'stooping in style' to conquer,
you can do it - can't you?
maybe the guy is your male-version; he wants some reassurance from you; he
doesn't want to strike the wrong chord in this apparent serenade, he wants some
more from you; not just the acceptance to grace his dinner, methinks!
but then, for how long have you guys been in this show-serenade?

you can be upfront in asking certain things, even if it's unlike you! i'll say: it's better
to be safe than be sorry, my best wishes from here to someone who's sleepless in seattle!

take care to care,

@poster
i quite agree with uchetobi
the guy likes you and thats a plus on your side.
some guys would come out straight and ask you out,
but some of us would start with friendship as a good
foundation.
dont push him of,and dont throw yourself at him.
just be your self.he'll drop it on you when you least expect
i'm sure he is seeing the signs already.you could send him
text messages but make them plain,not too romantic.
if he shows you some care, then reciprocate.
by doing that,you wont be throwing yourself at him

when i met my girl,we text ourselves for about two weeks
and the mesages were based on general issues and daily
experiences, but nothing personal.

the first time i kissed her,it took her by surprise.that
was when she asked me what i wanted and trust me
i asked her if she hasnt figured it out by then.i just kissed
her again.it was untill 2months later that she jokinly asked
me to formally ask her out which i did.

Rosaquare I agree with u and ur gf’s reaction is normally typical when dat kind of strategy is applied and u knw the most annoying thing, knowing that the game the guy is playing doesn’t mean u will beat him to it, u will still continue to trip and trip, dats how strong this mind play is

Hey girl, from the way u sound, u seem interested in the guy 2.
But I tell u, u dont have to throw urself on the guy or try to impress
him. Like my sister say, guys no longer toast girls, u just be urself,
play along keeping ur ears and eyes to the ground to get the clue
If he's ready, he might send a coded message, but left 4 u 2 unstand.

I say this cuz, he might not really want a relationship. This I say cuz I do
it sometimes to a girl I just feel attracted to. I become nice to her and never
ask for anything in return, some people are just like that. A girl I had such a
connection with had same problem ur having now untill she opened up
and defined the relationship clearly to her and up till now we'r still good friends
So girl, be careful!

@poster,i feel your pain. been there.


hopefully though,he might just let you know soon. i think its a good idea to always have stuff defined. i'd ask.

I'm playing the game Rubbermaid posted to the forum.There is lady i met some years ago and both of us had feeelings for each other but along the line we lost for about 4years. To my surprise we met again this year and we started our friendship. But I must confess I still need this babe and I can perceive it she needs me too. I call her often but she hardly reciprocate but i can read her mind that she's always on the look out for my calls. What makes me not to ask her out is that I want to be sure because of my experiences in past relationship and also I want to be sure if she's the kind of babe I can take to the altar. I agree with Uchetobi,that the guy is just trying to penetrate into her heart by the time the guy speak out whao everything will just fall into places. Rubbermaid this guy is for you.Just try to ask the guy and be inquisitive whether is into other relationship,If he's not the guy is yours.
Babe it'll soon be over peeeleee.

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT, I THINK HE LIKE ME

MAYBE U AR NOT MAKING IT EASY FOR HIM WITH UR NONCHALANT BEHAIVIOUR, IF U LIKE AM, MAKE U SEF TRY , NOW, HABA

Just keep your cool and take every step as it comes. One at a time.

Why are u guys bothered abt a girls life who is probably forming for this guy.

Hey Rubbermaid quit wasting tme b4 some otther girl take him away from you.

hey fellas ,
this guy is being real matured here, thats my game. the truth is BIG boys dont toast girls no more, they make girls feel them and am sure you're feeling this guy now.

the truth is whether he is married or not he likes you, but may not want anything serious because he is probably hooked up with someone, if he is not hooked up with someone then he is playing a matured game that might tempt you to do one or two things, the truth is he knows if he asked you out he would be transfering his power as the man to you so the best way is to make you need him like hell, and thats the best for girls you know so cant form for him cause he has not said anything, at the moment he is very unpredictable and thats the reason you are already tripping for him, he is trying to make you feel he can very well do without you, that his emotions cannot control him, that makes him a MAN  you know.

my advice for you: play his game his way. you have shown interst already by going to his house so what else will he say, you are flowing. next time he would ask you out agree but dissapoint him, tell him something came up say an hour to the time, but be careful cos if its me, your CHAPTER will be closed. just make him feel your very ok with yourself. if you cant hold it the talk with him, its no crime, afterall i've had girls oasting me severally, so its nothing.

take care

He might just like you like a sister, has it ever occured to you? It is high time we stopped reading

meanings to other people's action until they interpret the actions themselves.[/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

Go with the flow & enjoy the moment. Don't try speeding it up cuz it might come across the wrong way! Savor the moment

_{Just be yourself okay.With time you will get to understand what he honestly wants from you}

maybe he using u to get to ur sister, hehe

You live in USA is he an American or a Nigerian? If he is a Nigerian how long has he lived over there and what do you think his orientation is regarding issues like these? You are not a baby and should be able to read in between the lines, he may just want to be a friend, he may want to start at that first so he could know you better before going further, so take it easy baby, just be natural and see him as a friend and things would soon be defined. If you cant wait i suggest you bring up discussions about relationships, friendship and the like and you should be able to read his lips but all the same dont do anything you may later regret. Leave it as friendship and see how it goes.

Hi rubbermaid, we have a lot in common.I mean i can never ask a guy out(for what now?).Obviously,this guy likes u but he is either taking his time or he's too shy to ask u out.Anyway, judging from ur personality,i don't think u shld ask him anything about u two going out or even anything related to it cos if he says no(maybe still shy to it it or maybe he doesn't want to ask u out afterall),u will definitely get hurt and might ruin a blossoming friendship.At least,half bread is better than none.Just keep ur game tight. My opinion though

hey gurl

yeah some guys are right on this forum, he probably likes ur character and genuinly wants to be friends. NOrmally with men if they like u they are very vocal about it. At some point they say something or do something to let u know how they feel. And as for him cooking for u and following u to the dealership, u cannever really tell maybe h eis the kind of guy that prefers having female friends than male freinds. and because we are females, he knows that calling and cooking and all that stuff is how we know that he cares as a FRIEND. i mean men dont call each other anyhow or cook for one another. so please put ur feelings back in ur heart before u get hurt, because tomorrow he might say that he is interested in another girl and then u might feel really really hurt. so please do not jump into any conclusions, because trust me a guy like this will make a great friend,than a foe.