NewStats: 3,262,313 , 8,176,781 topics. Date: Sunday, 01 June 2025 at 06:46 PM 132h1r

Hi guys. I met this Lady during my Final year at the University and we have been dating for about eight months now. I am an Ex-Player who repented for Love and was moved by the ill-treatment she got from her first boyfriend after he dis-virgined her. Our relationship has been blossoming right from the very onset and so is our sex life until Last night when she asked us to abstain from sex for the next three years for just no reason. Every attempt made by me to convince her to weigh the pros and cons of her decision and possibly arrive at a compromise fell on deaf ears. I am a good looking, sexually active but very considerate guy. I love her so much and i have been faithful to her. Please advise me on how i should go about this without cheating on her with the numerous girls lurking around me because as it stands now, i am confused and heart-broken. N.B: Please forgive the error(s) made in the course of this write-up, thanks!

Honestly that‘s difficult,she has to explain why so,for you to be able not to cheat if not i doubt if u can keep up for so long without breaking the straw

This is a simple case na. You both have been having intimacy before and she suddenly pulled the rug on you. You shoild try as much as possible to see beyound the intimate part of your relationship and try to build yourselves up together.

But if you cannot abide by her new , it would be good if you got out of that relationship.

if you ask me i think sex in itself is so overhyped , that it has led a lot of people into the wrong relationships and made a lot of people make bad choices. Here are some lies about sex.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/01/lies-about-sex.html

You guys had sexual relationship in the past and it didnt work for both of you. Why not try sexless relationship?

This is a serious case o..i would av ask my Oga at the top but i know how serious u are.... The main thing is..can u abstain 4 sex for dat 3yrs? If yes., u r free to go.. If No., tell her wts her main reason for dat and let her know dat u cant abstain... But if u knw u r compatible and ur relatnship can lead to marriage, u gat to respect her decision but u'll definetely cheat on her with some useless chicks

Interesting topic. She just have to make u understand her reasons and you also have to respect it no matter what. If you don't get sex now u can get it later and even get tired of it.

I wonder why it's so hard for guys to abstain from sex when they start it.

You have got to respect her decision on the sex thing. If you can't cope with it, you can step out of the relationship. If marriage is what she wants, you can get married and postpone child bearing, if you are not yet capable of raising kids.

What the phuck,3 phucking years what are we going to be doing
impossible

Dump her

Wow some of the replies are just sad. Firstly you need to speak to her about the reason she is abstaining. She is not a virgin or perhaps if it's for religious purposes then i can understand. Secondly be honest with yourself, if you cannot control yourself for the next 3years then it's best to be honest and call it quits before you cheat on her. If you really love her and see a future with her then you can do anything for her including waiting 3yrs

Dump her.

Ask her again why she wants you both to abstain? After all, you are an affected party here and you deserve a detailed explanation. Whether you accept her explanation is another matter.

There is nothing difficult about abstinence. It's about discipline and boundaries. If you know it'll be difficult for you, let her know without pretence and watch it all unfold. Everyone can do without sex. We just don't want to.

She was doing you a favour..free s**
Its her body as long as you re not married
If you want the milk you can buy the cow
After all you've already sampled

Alternatively, if you can't wait for her
Then let her go
Don't go and give her STDs

thats a right decision from her! i wish i can explain further, bottom-line is she is trying to get serious with her life

Yinkwamo: Hi guys. I met this Lady during my Final year at the University and we have been dating for about eight months now. I am an Ex-Player who repented for Love and was moved by the ill-treatment she got from her first boyfriend after he dis-virgined her. Our relationship has been blossoming right from the very onset and so is our sex life until Last night when she asked us to abstain from sex for the next three years for just no reason. Every attempt made by me to convince her to weigh the pros and cons of her decision and possibly arrive at a compromise fell on deaf ears. I am a good looking, sexually active but very considerate guy. I love her so much and i have been faithful to her. Please advise me on how i should go about this without cheating on her with the numerous girls lurking around me because as it stands now, i am confused and heart-broken. N.B: Please forgive the error(s) made in the course of this write-up, thanks!

abstain from s3x?
bros e be like say the babe dey find u irritating for bed.if i should ask u get mouth odour .maybe na dat one dey put her off when u dey try kiss her

If shes not a virgin this is stupid.

dump her.. reformed hoes are scam. Get the real thing

There are 2 things to it, either u also abstain, or u find a way to satisfy ur urge. If u abstain, good, but u find oda ways, there are 2 things, either u mast*rbate or u cheat on her, if u mast*rbate, ok, but if cheat on her, dre are 2 things 2 it, either u are caught ot not, if u are not caught, good, but if u are, there is only one thing, dats d end of the relationship

GUY! You no go marry? dat one na indirect message wey she give you so.... and from your response it seems your plan na to dey chop kpomo for the next three years... just free the girl. If you no get plan to marry am in the next three years, forget love.. you no love am. just look for another chick wey you go dey bang steady (no strings attached.) & ofcourse, that will make you a no1 Heart Breaker! #Gbam.

Now... if you decide to abide by the new rule and work your relationship towards marriage... i dey tell you, e no go even reach six months wey the girl go come by herself (Turn around on the decision) and ask you to bang her brains out... bro i tell you e go sweet die! because now una go appreciate una self much more... thats my take.

rubbish

is she mad

dating is not mating, you don't need any reason from her.

pleep: If shes not a virgin this is stupid.

dump her.. reformed hoes are scam. Get the real thing

ohh so, she is nt a virgin any more, dat meand she shld be havin pre marital sex all d tym. Hey dude, its her body and she is jus his GF nt wife. So, he got to respect her choice. And BTW, y its dat guys cant jus abstain frm sex. Sex is nt food and its nt love. Dating is nt matin. If u want to hav sex, better go marry instead of committin fornication.
CIAO

190-the-clown:
rubbish

is she mad

No she is not!

pleep: If shes not a virgin this is stupid.

dump her.. reformed hoes are scam. Get the real thing

Thanks for your advice but i'll appreciate if you show some respect to her!

lefulefu:
abstain from s3x?
bros e be like say the babe dey find u irritating for bed.if i should ask u get mouth odour .maybe
na dat one dey put her off when u dey try kiss her

Now i know why Mulikat dumped you. Erm... Have you visited the dentist ever since?

Yinkwamo: Hi guys. I met this Lady during my Final year at the University and we have been dating for about eight months now. I am an Ex-Player who repented for Love and was moved by the ill-treatment she got from her first boyfriend after he dis-virgined her. Our relationship has been blossoming right from the very onset and so is our sex life until Last night when she asked us to abstain from sex for the next three years for just no reason. Every attempt made by me to convince her to weigh the pros and cons of her decision and possibly arrive at a compromise fell on deaf ears. I am a good looking, sexually active but very considerate guy. I love her so much and i have been faithful to her. Please advise me on how i should go about this without cheating on her with the numerous girls lurking around me because as it stands now, i am confused and heart-broken. N.B: Please forgive the error(s) made in the course of this write-up, thanks!

I don't know. This is a hard one (no pun intended ).
I am assuming she made the proposal to refrain from having s3x because she wants to be sure the relationship is not just about s3x. However, she is in a way being very selfish.

There should be some compromising between the two of you. - Keep pressing her but don't be aggressive.

She should be willing to have relations with you but in moderation i suppose. I mean let's face it, men are not wired like women. Men have needs and urges. I feel she should take that into consideration otherwise you'll end up s3xually deprived AND emotionally detached and I am sure if she is really into you, she wouldn't want that.

Just talk to her and if she is not willing to compromise then, you have to do what you have to do.

Wow!reading thru dis thread itz sad 2c dat most naija dudes dnt respect we ladies.D real men do though.my dear,itz her decision u shud tawk 2her,tel her hw u feel abt it and if u cant be with her cos ur nt gettn it then u can walk....

lefulefu:
abstain from s3x?
bros e be like say the babe dey find u irritating for bed.if i should ask u get mouth odour .maybe na dat one dey put her off when u dey try kiss her

[size=28pt]LEFU!!!![/size]
omg!!! where have you been?

MsDarkSkin:

I don't know. This is a hard one (no pun intended ).
I am assuming she made the proposal to refrain from having s3x because she wants to be sure the relationship is not just about s3x. However, she is in a way being very selfish.

There should be some compromising between the two of you. - Keep pressing her but don't be aggressive.

She should be willing to have relations with you but in moderation i suppose. I mean let's face it, men are not wired like women. Men have needs and urges. I feel she should take that into consideration otherwise you'll end up s3xually deprived AND emotionally detached and I am sure if she is really into you, she wouldn't want that.

Just talk to her and if she is not willing to compromise then, you have to do what you have to do.
Bless you Brother, you are a rare gift from God

@Op this is some serious if you are highly sexed but hey! You sure you got game on ur woman? She wouldn't even know how to resist you.

Yinkwamo: Hi guys. I met this Lady during my Final year at the University and we have been dating for about eight months now. I am an Ex-Player who repented for Love and was moved by the ill-treatment she got from her first boyfriend after he dis-virgined her. Our relationship has been blossoming right from the very onset and so is our sex life until Last night when she asked us to abstain from sex for the next three years for just no reason. Every attempt made by me to convince her to weigh the pros and cons of her decision and possibly arrive at a compromise fell on deaf ears. I am a good looking, sexually active but very considerate guy. I love her so much and i have been faithful to her. Please advise me on how i should go about this without cheating on her with the numerous girls lurking around me because as it stands now, i am confused and heart-broken. N.B: Please forgive the error(s) made in the course of this write-up, thanks!

dis post advocates premarital sex and you on the other are no better