NewStats: 3,263,803 , 8,181,444 topics. Date: Sunday, 08 June 2025 at 12:25 AM 6b2k53

It is now common that almost every boy or girl out there have a partner. Please kindly do a true and sober reflection and analysis of your relationship. Please be sincere, state 3 values you have added to your partner. Please note that sex should not be part of your list. Thank you . OKONTAMI

Honestly I wan comment bt ds ur name. U gatz do test o. Ur question make sense. Three values?. Built her sense of worth & respect for herself so dat odas wud respect her. 2) Honestly I dnt knw 4 now. Ds question is d most reasonable iv seen in a while. Front page pls. I bet numerous no get ansa.

Thanks Richarts, a lot of people might not have answers. I am waiting for ladies to prove me wrong.

I am not in a relationship right now so I would not know

Mynd_44: I am not in a relationship right now so I would not know

Nice one Mynd. Now try to have an open mind to this question. What 3 values will you add to your relationship when you finally get into one. And what are the 3 values you want your lady to add to you. Thanks. OKONTAMI

Its her choice. I can't see my fault and short comings but she can

I will want to conclude that most relationship have no values added. Since there is no body that can constructively state just 3 values they are adding to their partners. Most relationships is money for pus.sie. Its so unfortunate that most people are parasites, low lives, who see their partners as a means to an end. The Focus is " give me money", "pay my bills", "take me out", "let's go clubbing", " my school fees", "my house rent", "my siblings need doe", "my mum is sick", "let's go on a holiday", "buy me the latest accessories and gadgets" and in return all that can be paid back is with sex. We need to watch it. Naija people, we must not continue this way. Its so pathetic, shameful, and disheartening.

What a shame that this thread did not receive a worthy exposure. A BIG SHAME!

1. Patience; endurance - especially when kids are involved we need to exercise patience in all our decisions and actions..... take a break if you have to.

2. Respect; is Very crucial in a marriage, the way you portray your spouse to your friends& family is the way they'll treat/ address him/her....boost their self worth/Ego too.... eg 'I trust my wife/hubby ' kinda talk ....

3. and active communication : talk about issues, don't chug down your opinions down his throat, he doesn't have to agree everytime, let him know when he's doing something wrong ( not in nagging way), choose your words, don't say what you'd regret that'll take decades to forget, calm down and think about it.... this involves at work too

I hope a made sense ...... It's a very sensible question, I'm waiting to learn from good people with good values here.

I think your question should be, how much value has your partner added to your life because you can never be totally objective enough when it comes to judging yourself. Of course we all want to believe that we've added some kind of value to our partners' lives but only they can really say what impact we've really made.

^^

jidegirl12: 1. Patience; endurance - especially when kids are involved we need to exercise patience in all our decisions and actions..... take a break if you have to.

2. Respect; is Very crucial in a marriage, the way you portray your spouse to your friends& family is the way they'll treat/ address him/her....boost their self worth/Ego too.... eg 'I trust my wife/hubby ' kinda talk ....

3. and active communication : talk about issues, don't chug down your opinions down his throat, he doesn't have to agree everytime, let him know when he's doing something wrong ( not in nagging way), choose your words, don't say what you'd regret that'll take decades to forget, calm down and think about it.... this involves at work too

I hope a made sense ...... It's a very sensible question, I'm waiting to learn from good people with good values here.

Were we taught by the same teacher in school

The politics in Nigeria will not allow the topic to go to front page.

only the choosing fews will make the front page

Umm...firstly,our relationship is based on certain priorities- love,trust,security,communication,and essentially understanding.
He taught me how to be patient,he really worked on my self-esteem,and he made me feel strong as I'm certain he's gt my back. Personally,I drew him to know God more,beyond religious beliefs to ascertain a stronger foundation for our relationship,after that I made him have a more open, solid and less ive mentality in setting goals,I respect him and that really helps his ego,so he's not afraid to stand up to any situation...there are quite a number of other things which we've both contributed.......and I Love him so...much

Thank you so much guys for your response. I really appreciate all the people who have posted. Its clear that any thread that require intelligence to comprehend will have very little input from this our NL community. When people look into their lives and realize they are nothing but parasites and have nothing to offer , they just look and run away. The craziness about love for cash, se.x for cash is just too pathetic. I hope we will all start thinking of more values we can add to our partners as from today. Once more , thank you all. OKONTAMI

Reading thru thread... . God go provide. Eku ise oo.

1)I've built his self-worth
2)I've thought him how to aspire higher
3)I've also thought him that being a man does not mean that saying sorry is a crime

i thought him to hv self confident
i thought him to b dedicated to serving God
i thought him to aspire higher

You should probably ask the values you have tried to add to your relationship.

I have noticed that when we notice a shortcoming and try to help, it is the prerogative of the partner to accept or learn what we are trying to teach. Some people have tried to teach their mates a few things but the male or female has simply refuse to learn.

Since we don't want rock the boat or start a quarrel, we simply let sleeping dogs lie and stop trying to teach or force our values.

1: Been able to at least help her prioritze her life/time.

2: Trying to make her come up with a clear/precise vision for her life apart from just going to school like every other school lover out there.

3: Also trying to make her use her mental machine effectively because i noticed that she hardly think things through and also give up even before trying. this is the hardest value i am trying to add to her life and i pray that God helps me.

there are others too like spirituality and self-esteem, reading to understand and not reading to cram.

She's helped me too in the course of being patient and also being calm in the midst of "trials". she's just a gem in some vital areas that i take for granted.

Nyc thread actually in ma current relationship,I dnt c any positive value impacted by me or her,n dats coz am scared of string up a quarrel coz I love her sO much n wouldn't want 2 lose her so I let her be

On naija side no value cus all na bb for hand back for ground

elopee3000: On naija side no value cus all na bb for hand back for ground

Dt one nah for the babes wey you dey meet & mind you, you would attract the kind of person that you are which simply means that you need to step up..

@ OP, I might not have been the best of babes, but I know for sure that I imparted immensely in the life of my ex..I am single btw

Brown_eyes: Umm...firstly,our relationship is based on certain priorities- love,trust,security,communication,and essentially understanding.
He taught me how to be patient,he really worked on my self-esteem,and he made me feel strong as I'm certain he's gt my back. Personally,I drew him to know God more,beyond religious beliefs to ascertain a stronger foundation for our relationship,after that I made him have a more open, solid and less ive mentality in setting goals,I respect him and that really helps his ego,so he's not afraid to stand up to any situation...there are quite a number of other things which we've both contributed.......and I Love him so...much

Very articulate

It is funny someone told me that if your relationship does not add value to you, there is no point to it. Value is the sense of: are you a better person, has your attitude change positively rather than negative.

You cannot call all your friends to tell them how your day went, what is troubeling you, or what amuses you etc every day,you can only share such with your partner. Most times, relationships leads to marriage. Therefore the most important value in a relationship is companionship.

This is a very good thread. One need to think creatively to give answers to your question. I agree that it is difficult to know what value you are putting into a relationship because most of the things we do are just like norms in a union.

However, I will try and give at least one;
1. I helped her to google answers to most of her assignments when she was doing her NCE programme, with that she was Overall Best Graduating Student of her set. Then I feel so good that I contributed to her Success.

2. I gave her security that no matter what, I will always love her.

3. ........... I don't know jooooorr. But she will be the best person to know the value I've added to her life.

And as for her, she helped me by convincing me to return to the University and she also helped by bringing down my arrogance and converted me to a humble person.
Thirdly, she gave me a sense of belonging at least I know that during tick and thin; I am not alone.

But 70% of relationship this days add negative values 2 their partners sometimes u hear some pple saying guy this girl/guy don spoil me ooo "i started clubbing when i met her, i started drinking when i met him. He/she introduced me 2 the doctor, i cant stop having sex since i met him/her, he tought me how 2play the game of cheat n never 2 love again etc That is most of the value that exsist, this days very few are positive value.

values can come in any format and in different form but the most important thing are those you added and you see the end point as productive.
1. i imbibed in her a motivational spirit that we now drag who motivate eachoda
2. i imbibed in her a selflex spirit that she amazed me with wat no other woman has done.
3. i made her undstd the meaning of love that our love for each oda is now scary lolz for real
there are lots more but to be honest these three when she portrays it i shed tears though MEN dont CRY.cos i see the fruit of ma labour

Okontami: I will want to conclude that most relationship have no values added. Since there is no body that can constructively state just 3 values they are adding to their partners. Most relationships is money for pus.sie. Its so unfortunate that most people are parasites, low lives, who see their partners as a means to an end. The Focus is " give me money", "pay my bills", "take me out", "let's go clubbing", " my school fees", "my house rent", "my siblings need doe", "my mum is sick", "let's go on a holiday", "buy me the latest accessories and gadgets" and in return all that can be paid back is with sex. We need to watch it. Naija people, we must not continue this way. Its so pathetic, shameful, and disheartening.

u'v bn wastin ur tym wit d wrng ppl