NewStats: 3,262,228 , 8,176,521 topics. Date: Sunday, 01 June 2025 at 12:49 PM 73s1f

God will surely locate you for good

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

Unfortunately, you are being eaten up emotional which is even going to make it difficult for you to get pregnant of which your husband is the curse but he is not seeing the bigger picture.

I can tell you that nothing is wrong with you but your emotions are not allowing you to have your babies. Don't forget that your emotions controls your hormones and many people don't know this. How I wish, I can talk to your husband. I was in his shoe before but I am blessed with two boys.

Be happy.. It's well with you.

Please husbands, let's try and help our wifes. The side chickz distracting you outside cannot be better than your wife if you give her same attention you are giving to your side chicks.

Society pressure create monster in us. It’s a shame he’s acting so childish with you instead of ing you at this time. Hopefully, he’s not planning impregnating someone outside

[quote author=amarachi06 post=83832764]

Dear,I understand how you are feeling,yours won't be the first and last.be prayerful and never give up...this kind of a thing happened to my female friend,she got married for over five years without any baby and just a day to ther sixth wedding anniversary,she gave birth to a baby boy... surprised? That's how it happened,that's to tell you that each person has different time of break through,when the time will come is what will don't know and this is one of the reasons God is greater than us.
If you are still having mother,buy expensive(not really expensive but something you know she will appreciate so much)gift for her and let her pray for you..I am not saying your mum is a witch oooo,but what I know for sure is that when a mother is happy thr prayer on thr kid always answer......please don't ignore it and God will surprise you..

U people should stay separate way for now. Find anything that makes u happy and do it. And never chose suicide as an option cos is foolish and will make him right. Seek for medical opinion to ur health and keep on trying to bear children. Dont give up.

akpunda86:


Sister good morming.ur case resembles my own.yes its not always easy but it can be overcomed.Thank God u even take in.i believe is people in your shoes that know better where it hurts u most.

I then when my wife was three months preg.first time pregnancy always a joy.we went for a heavy shopping.next was a miscarriage. During evacuation i was given the boy to be buried 7 months then.was a big blow.
We went to the best gynavologist in Lagos no way.
Note...Sometimes a good doctor is not how expensive you are but how experienced.
The joy in our marriage gone.We relocated to enugu and met a good doctor.moment my wife took in was placed on hormones and like joke like joke i held my first kid AFTER six years of marriage.after one year i change gear and my wife took in and gave birth to our second kid and today i have a family and as im typing this we expecting no 3.

Now what is your location.I tell you 70% of doctor's in lagos ARE after your money not services.

Having had a miscarriage and have not taken in who did the Evacuation.was the foetus cleaned well.pls a scan can confirm that.noting is wrong with u.if ur within the east can give u the doct number.

Know your cycle well.see a gynaco.AFTER addressing all this get a sexy wears wait for ur hubby and make sure all goes down during every sex in ur ovulation.

Most importantly pray.but i tell u is well.
Note when womb not cleaned or evacuated well of foetus always a problem.im an engineer but my wife problem partially turned me to a doctor.

This is someone with experience talking, op pls listen to this poster.


I wanted to ask the same questions, but had to stop.


Op need a good fertility doctor asap. Please can you reach out to her, maybe you can link her up with your wife to guide her and maybe she can also visit same doctor you did please.


Another issue here is that the husband seems to be uncooperative with the situation, making the matter worst. I wonder how and where ladies meet such men they end up marrying.

When I see some ladies with some guys they call their boyfriends or fiancé, I weep for them ahead cos it seems many ladies don't use their God given wisdom during dating and courtship; they will turn down great guys only to accept crazy guys as boyfriends, mostly because of money or material things.

This is the usual end game.

If the man is cooperating with her, this issue can be fixed.

Sometimes fibroid too can be another issue, and for men with low or zero sperm count please you need to treat STDs and STIs, especially staphylococcus infection, it is the cause most infertility in couple.


Please to the guys and men reading this comment, if your wife or future wife is finding it difficult to conceive, don't automatically believe that it is her fault, this is not 1970, this is 2019, wake up! Men suffer low sperm count, watery sperm, and even zero sperm count. Go for sperm analysis and culture too.


Putting your wife under and unhappy situation can make her not to conceive or cause her to have miscarriage.

If you and your wife or future wife experience difficulty in having kids, calm down, seek for quality medical help while consulting whatever you worship.

But quality fertility treatment cost money, so that is why you need to be financially prepared before you embark on the journey of marriage.

Don't blame it on your wife alone.

LEAVE!!!

amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.

Why should your worth or confidence be based on if you have kids or not?Your worth should be based on what you can offer this world,find work you are ionate about doing,this is what the world needs.The world has got too many problems and child bearing isn't one.We are over populated and too many children dying from hunger and starvation.

citadels:
Focus on God for now, let your husband be in peace, be happy and please go on ur knees there's nothing God cannot do. I'm inviting you to Shiloh 2019 please if you are in Lagos please be there but most importantly start visiting motherless babies homes feed them, go help bath them and if you see a begger with a child or children don't hesitate to buy them food to eat. Visit maternity wards to gift new borns. Buy ok baby clothes for the new mothers who can't afford. If you do this joyfully and you don't take in after 1month, carry your baby for 9months please call me a BASTARD and forget God.

You are funny.must it be shilloh.God is God no matter where she pray from.do you know her financial capabilities and u telling her to buy this buy that give this give that.
Listen God knows his people not by wat u give nor take but by how pure your heart is.
So be mindful of wat u say.Shiloh is somebodys end of year money harvest.

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

well i will be very frank with you. i believe marriage for two people if one of the party is tired, then its time to leave. not getting pregnant might have to do with the both of you, and losing a pregnancy can also have to do with the both of you, try to find out the problem medically. issue of gene mismatch from both parents can lead to forced termination of pregnancy

1. Check your health very well with the psychiatrists and gynaecologists, urgently

2. Pregnancy apart, do you really think that he is enjoying your company? If no, why? It is not fair that you said "he did not say but I know it is cos of the pregnancy", yet you said "I dont understand...". Before God, do you really understand the situation. No man easily runs away from what makes him smile everyday.

3. Take the time to make yourself useful and indispensable to him and to yourself, not just for producing babies or earning morning.

4. The more you resort to blaming him or self-pity, the worse it'll get. Work on improving your self-esteem.

5. Pray, pray and pray. Pray for guidance to understanding him and find the right thing, not for miracle. Miracles won't happen.

UjuJoan2:




I was talking about how women react to being treated badly in the future in the other thread, and most of the people advising her to 'endure' almost jumped me. They claimed I should be advising women to stand up for themselves and yapped about how women had a 'choice'. And here they are saying the exact opposite, confirming what I said initially.

Nigerian women will always be at a disadvantage, no matter how much we try to deny it.

This poster is being abused emotionally by her husband and yet the society expects her to stay. How do you think she will react in the future when she finally becomes a mother and the husband becomes 'nice'. When she realises she now has all the power over her ab and doesn't have to cower because she now has 'a place' in his home?

Of course she's not thinking 'revenge' now, but she's feeling the resentment and she's feeling helpless about her situation. I doubt if she's going to wave a hand and forget all she's going through now in the future, and live happily ever after with her husband.

When she starts reacting, the man will claim his wife has changed, and these fake people here will him.

What a joke!

my sister.......Your head is correct. The truth is an Average Nigerian woman is disadvantaged. But the fact is we're stronger than we give ourselves credit for....Fear immobilizes most women.

Sunnymatey:
My inlaw stood by my sister for 17yrs before they were blessed with a child.
Some men are sick.
Love between couple should be unconditional.

That's the more reason you should know that all human beings are not and cannot be the same

I then people say rhesus factor some say our blood no match.i did sperm fertility test.we did std test little traces of staph found in me was treated.was a rigourous test.my kid broda told me to get a woman pregnant outside family took over my flat meant for my kids.i regretted staying in a two bed room flat.but today is all history

Ariza:
Avoid Arguments

Go for medical treatment

Love him

Love yourself more


Love God much more


Pray harder.

I must say this is the best advice here. Thanks for this

Madam, sorry for wat is happening to u, kindly keep on praying and b going 4 medical check up.

But my case is hope u re not doing transfer of aggression because I have noticed wen most women are frustrated in one area, they automatically transfer that anger to the closest people in their life, in ur case is ur husband..?

It maybe that he hasn't change, but u might..

So just sit down and check ur self too

mrchineke:


Too lazy to think, hence leave it to GOD!

And this is the way we handle every single thing in this country, we leave-it-to-God. I've never seen a country so totally hopeless.

Good morning, I wish you could reach me via 08038434394.. I understand your plight as a woman.. Its not easy as a woman. . I will help you out by His Grace.. There's NO problem that God can't solve.. Feel free to reach me...Be rest assured all will be fine...

dawnomike:
Take it all to God in prayers... Prayers changes things.

.

You're a wicked person for this response

So God no see am as e dey suffer? Instead of make una address the man wey no her sense for house, na God in prayers una go dey shout

No wonder Nigeria dey as e dey. Even for bad roads and bad leaders, una go dey shout God as e if e no get wetin e dey do

Good morning, I wish you could reach me via 08038434394.. I understand your plight as a woman.. Its not easy as a woman. . I will help you out by His Grace.. There's NO problem that God can't solve.. Feel free to reach me...Be rest assured all will be fine...

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

TooNoisy:
I feel for you. God will soon answer your prayers. Keep praying and make sure you constantly check your health.

God will answer you, but please dont leave your marriage just yet. You will overcome this challenge. Amen.

This is not a marriage. No kids involve so she is free to leave. I don't know why people have to put religion in everything.

OP when you finally get a daughter. Don't let her stay for long without getting married.

Early marriage would have stopped this from happening.

Madam wap ur tears Biko nu. Gonna those days when the blame will been put on woman alone. U don't no who rely have this problem. It might be him or u. Both of u must agreed to treat yourself. If not it would work. Harba is there and so many other things. U can reach me on 08028700700. authorchi06 post=83832002]I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.[/quote]

my prayer for you today is that God will reward you with double for all your troubles. May he restore peace, love and understanding in your home. this too shall my sister

Viking07:
As usual and expected, Nigerians will always refer you to God. The entire first page was about "leave it for God". We are all under serious religious bondage in this country.

Post something similar on a different platform e.g quora.com and read enlightened, smart, nonreligious, helpful, realistic advises/opinions.

Are you surprised. I'm even impressed that there are some logical comments. Shows that there is indeed hope.
My husband hates me. Pray to God
My husband tried to kill me. Call on God
My husband is having an affair. Take it to God.
Stupid people

@bukatyne @crackhaus @UjuJoan2

You both argue like you know it all.

Op thinks her husband ignores her, and that she is invisible to him. He lashed out at her when she complained.

It never occurred to you that he could be under pressure too. You think society does not put pressure on men to bear children too? You also never wondered if he's the type that blocks everyone off when under pressure?

Op complains. Then Boom! He's terrible. He's wicked. He's an ab. He's cheating. Men are subjugating women. Bla bla bla.

When he came back by 12am, you never wondered if he was at a bar drowning his sorrows in alcohol. The man might be grieving in his own way, while the op might be thinking it's all about her, reason why they've disconnected.

There's a reason why you don't make judgments until you heard both sides. And you need to keep that in mind. Don't go misadvising people.

Op feels pain and anguish, but nairaland is not the place for relationship advice.

@Amarachi06, for marriage issues, go to a marriage counselor. I am pretty sure any good counselor would want to meet with both of you together. On that journey, you never know what you might find. But explore it, and keep an open mind.

If it was about the medical issues, look for a good and experienced medical expert. Nairaland might help in recommendations.

All the best.

ednut1:
they are big fools. Even pastors dey divorce lol. The babe has no where to go as she no get work doing. They see marriage as a life aim. Na them sabi

Nailed it. This is what ladies get when they see marriage as poverty alleviation. They become trapped since they don't earn money.

UjuJoan2:




I was talking about how women react to being treated badly in the future in the other thread, and most of the people advising her to 'endure' almost jumped me. They claimed I should be advising women to stand up for themselves and yapped about how women had a 'choice'. And here they are saying the exact opposite, confirming what I said initially.

Nigerian women will always be at a disadvantage, no matter how much we try to deny it.

This poster is being abused emotionally by her husband and yet the society expects her to stay. How do you think she will react in the future when she finally becomes a mother and the husband becomes 'nice'. When she realises she now has all the power over her ab and doesn't have to cower because she now has 'a place' in his home?

Of course she's not thinking 'revenge' now, but she's feeling the resentment and she's feeling helpless about her situation. I doubt if she's going to wave a hand and forget all she's going through now in the future, and live happily ever after with her husband.

When she starts reacting, the man will claim his wife has changed, and these fake people here will him.

What a joke!

This place has been quite irritating to me these days, but I had to to like your post.

You're smart!

amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.

Do you guys go through some test before wedding, like checking your blood circle? It takes time for couples whose blood negate to blend


Does he still touch you on bed? I wonder how someone that see you as shiit will still have romantic time with you, just continue looking sexy to him whenever he's around so that he can at least be touching you constantly


Your home and marriage will not scatter

Very funny comments, u people don’t know it is even more difficult now to get pregnant just because her husband finds her appalling/irritating to move close to her, so how would she get pregnant if there’s no copulation. You can’t do it alone without his cos he already has a mindset that the ones he’s bn doing there’s nothing to show for it. May God’ give you wisdom understanding and knowledge to go about it, u need serious intervention from his family. It is well with you.

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

Simply reinvent yourself.
Dress a little bit slutty
Wear makeup everyday
Cook good food
Then become snobbish.
Make sure you don't talk to him
Just ”glam up” and shine.

It works every time.